


In Extremis

by NeoSartor_Resartus



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: Adventure & Romance, F/F, F/M, Post-Season/Series Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2020-05-16 06:12:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 113,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoSartor_Resartus/pseuds/NeoSartor_Resartus
Summary: With Gumbald and Golb soundly defeated, Finn and his friends appear to finally have their entire lives ahead of them. Yet, extricating oneself from the ghosts of the past is rarely a clear-cut matter. Especially for a hero like Finn. Violence and explicit sexual content in certain chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, it's my first time publishing here so I'll be figuring stuff out as I go along. Heads up for this story, it maintains continuity with and contains light spoilers for AT 'Season 11' Comics. You might consider giving the comic a look if you want a bit of extra background, but it's not necessarily required reading for the story. This story is also up on FanFiction.net. Enjoy!

“ _Mitu…Māruka…Mortuus est. I become the fount by which Golb’s ocean springs anew._ ”

The words well up coldly inside him like a long-repressed memory. Finn looks up and out upon a sea of deep black stretching endlessly before him. Waves roll in, scattering as they meet against a similarly darkened shoreline. He is alone.

And then not alone.

A sickly, pale-green light filters up from the depths of the dark sea. It burns brighter and brighter until the water begins to froth and boil like pitch. A domed shape breaches the surface and continues upward into the air, revealing a massive obsidian sphere sheathed in emerald flames. Heat lashes out at Finn, knocking the wind out of him. Finn falls to his knees, a cold sweat pouring out across every inch of his body.

“W-hut’s,” Finn chokes, digging his fingers deep into the sand, “What’s huh-happening to me?”

In answer, the fire surrounding the sphere starts to shift, rapidly coalescing into a single point. A green dot at the center of a black abyss, fixing on him with the cankerous intensity of a dying sun. The sphere sinks back; it flattens and expands until it merges into the sky itself. Toothy, lipless grins start to sweep outward from its periphery in every direction, devouring the sky until they eclipse it entirely. The ghastly clack of rotten teeth and slathering chops fills the air.

Finn’s eyes flash, meeting the object’s baleful gaze with a defiant glare. “THINK YOU CAN SCARE ME, EYEBALL?! DOESN’T MATTER HOW MANY TEETH YOU HAVE, I’LL SOCK ‘EM DOWN YOUR STUPID SPACE THROAT!”

The mouths snap shut in an instant. Then, all at once, they twist back open and begin to cackle uproariously. The sound is earsplitting, choked with a caustic malice that Finn can feel trickling down into the pit of his heart.        

“ **RGGGH!** ” Unbowed, Finn fights his way to his feet again and charges heedlessly into the searing surf with both fists raised. “DONK YOU! I’LL FIGHT YOU! I’LL FIGHT YOU!!!”

A voice explodes inside his mind:

“ **BURN** ”

* * *

 

“Finn, are you alright?” 

Finn jolts upright from his slumping posture against the breakfast table. Princess Bubblegum is there on his right with a gentle hand resting on his shoulder. Jake’s face is also stretched into view from his seat on the left, still mid-chew on his omelet.

“Huh? Oh, sorry about that, P-bubs,” Finn yawns and stretches. “I had some major trubs sleeping last night. Freaky nightmare stuff.”

“Oh my. That must have been one doozy of a nightmare to leave you so drained. Would it help to talk about it?”

“I, uh, can’t really remember much of it…it had something to do with a ton of fire. And then someone laughing – at me, I think.”

“Still not over Flame Princess, huh?” Jake says, giving his brother a teasing nudge.

“Dude, no!” Finn huffs, smacking Jake’s elbow away and crossing his arms. “Nothing like that.”

“Maybe a piping hot cup of coffee will clear all that dream bunk out of your head.” Princess Bubblegum suggests brightly. “Would you care for some, Finn?”

“Sure.”

Princess Bubblegum claps her hands. “Peppermint Butler!”

“Already on it, my shinning sugar Empress. A nice, royal dark roast for Mister Mertens.” Peppermint Butler sidles up dutifully, pot in hand. With a practiced hop, he alights onto the table without so much as wrinkling the tablecloth next to Finn’s plate and fills his cup.

“Yo, Pep-But, I could use a top-off over here, while you’re at it.” Marceline holds up her cup, giving it a little shake.

“Coming right over. Hup!” The butler preforms another graceful leap and lands next to Marceline’s spot beside Princess Bubblegum. As usual, the vampire girl has elected to go without a proper chair, favoring instead to hover with just the heels of her boots resting up on the edge of the table.

Peppermint Butler twists a small dial at the top of the pot and decants a deep red liquid out into the offered cup. “And a lovely redbush tea blend for Miss Abadeer.”

Marceline dips her fangs over the lip and sucks at the hue. She raises her steaming teacup with a satisfied smile. “Thanks, dude.”

“Yeah, thanks, Peps.” Finn says. He heaps several spoons-worth of sugar and cream into his drink before lifting it to his lips for a taste. “Hey, wait, I thought Uncle Gumbald dum-dum-ified you.”

“True, Mister Mertens. But my liege, in her deific brilliance, has already concocted an antidote.”

“Woah, really?”

“Yes, but I haven’t perfected it yet. I managed to distill some of Lumpy Space Princess’ lump essence and infuse it into an intravenous candy serum. It requires a lot of treatments before the subject returns to their original self. Peppermint Butler has a long way to go before he’s completely recuperated.” Princess Bubblegum shudders, “And acquiring the essence, itself, involves regularly shaving LSP.”

“Speaking of bad sleeping habits and images that might cause them, I’m planning on staying up today so I can hang out with you guys. Got anything fun or adventurous we could go do?”

“Again, Marcy? You know I disapprove of how often you tend to flip your schedule.”

“Relax, Bonnie,” Marceline smirks. “What fun is staying up past your bedtime if you don’t have someone always trying to force one on you? Anyhow, my nights this week have just been sooo boring! No gigs and hardly anyone to pal around with. I’d just be at home tuning my basses and listening to old records all night, otherwise.”

“Yeah, PB!” Jake adds, having sprouted a second mouth from the side of his head while his first is busy scarfing down a stack of waffles. He pounds his first into the table, “Ya gotta capsize the system if it starts holding you hostage from the people you love!”

“Well…okay, but I wish you’d actually take the time to adjust your sleep incrementally instead of just flipping over on a whim.”

Finn hums in agreement, draining more of his coffee. The caffeine really is starting to help him perk back up to his usual self. “If you’re looking for adventure, Marcy, then I think I have just the biz. I’d be mostly out of the sunlight, too.”

“Ooh la la, color me intrigued, Mr. Hero.”

“You know that area outside the Candy Kingdom that some of the humans from Founder’s Island have started to settle?”

“Oh, yeah, Human Town, right? Not the most creative name if you ask me.”

“Well, what would you name it, then?” Jake asks.

“You know, a powerful name…something that’d look good on an album cover, like Deadhorse Junction or Immolation Station.”

“Woah, those _are_ good names. We should write our ideas down and mail it to them. We could even make some trial signs to show off.”

“Apparently,” Finn interjects, “there’s a dungeon system that’s hidden pretty close by. The humans asked me if I could go look and maybe clear it out if anything is lurking inside. Could have dank treasures or some ancient monsters to fight.”

“That might actually be perfect, you guys. Let’s do it!”

“Alright!” Jake leapt up and met his brother with a high-five.

“Heck yeah!” Finn pumped his fist. “It’s been forever since we’ve had just a straight-up dungeon crawl together. What about you P-bubs? You want in on this?”

“Hmm, I don’t know guys; I _do_ have some research that I’d been planning on getting to…” Princess Bubblegum’s gaze drifts from Finn and Jake to Marceline. The vampire quickly shifts her eyes to look as large and pitiful as possible. She also makes sure to add just the right amount of quiver in her lips. Princess Bubblegum rolls her eyes. “Ffft. Fine, I’ll come with.” She pushes back her chair and makes toward the breakfast room’s entrance with Peppermint Butler at her heels. “Just let me get some of my exploratory tech together. Someone’s gotta watch you three knuckle-heads.”

“I’ll go grab my dungeon kit from my place. We can meet over at the gates of Human Town in an hour.”

“Sounds good, my rudest of dudes. I’m gonna go find something to wear.” Marceline floats out after Princess Bubblegum. “And make **sure**  you pack some red for me to snack on. Something that Jake  **won't**  eat!”

* * *

 “How’s that new robo-arm working out for ya?”

Finn looks down at Jake from the oak branch he’s reclining on. They’d arrived at Human Town a tad early and were now lounging about, waiting for the girls to turn up. Finn holds up his bionic arm, running his hand over it.

“Pretty math. It looks about the same as the other one. I think PB reinforced it with candy tech, so I don’t lose it again. It also has a bunch more features built in, but I’m still testing those out. Watch this.” Finn points his fist at Jake, “Arm: telescopic mode. Fire!”

With a hiss of compressed gas, Finn’s arm shoots outward and streams toward Jake. On instinct, Jake stretched outwards and meets his brother’s fist with his own in a classic “pound-it” move.

“You got stretchy powers now, too! That’s rad, Bro!”

“Sure do. I think it’s really going to beef up my combo list.” Finn flexes and, with another hiss, the arm quickly retracts back to its original position.    

“ _Seid gegrüßt_ , boys!”

With Marceline carrying Princess Bubblegum, the two royals swoop down from on high and land in the shade of the oak. Marceline is wearing a rawhide jacket, a pair of heavy battle gauntlets, and a wide-brimmed, bolero-style hat. Princess Bubblegum, meanwhile, is decked out in a light set of candy armor.

“Uh, yeah, a side-of-gray-grease to you guys, too! Y’all set?”

“Yup, I’m ready to bust some skulls open, if needed.” Marceline punches a steel-clad fist into her open palm. “Lead the way, Finn.”

“Should be over this way,” Finn hops down from the tree and strikes northwest. “My mom said her scanners picked up the entrance in a grove by the hills.”

“Ah, yes, your mother,” Princes Bubblegum falls into stride next to Finn. “How are you doing with her nearby, along with all the other humans? I’d imagine that it’s quite an adjustment to make.”

“It’s been a big flip from what I’m used to. I thought, for the longest time, that it was crazy to hope for even a hint of where I’d came from, but now…there they all are: my people, my human mom, just a hike away whenever I want. It’s actually kind of intimidating, thinking about it.”

“Well, your mother seems delightful from what I saw of her at the diplomatic meet, and the humans – they have a good-natured tenacity that I admire.” Princess Bubblegum pauses, biting her lower lip. “I just hope that they don’t start making any more presumptions about your relationship with them.”           

“How’s that, PB?” Jake asks.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it for the past few weeks, actually. After that stunt Leader Malloy pulled, you need to keep in mind that being human does not oblige you to lead them or fight battles on their behalf.”

“Yeah, I know. Malloy really ganked up my trust, but it’s still my mom and my peeps we’re talking about; I’m going to protect them no matter what.”

“Sounds like someone is a little nervous that loyalty to blood might supplant an oath to a certain princess.” Marceline comments, floating in close to Princess Bubblegum to show off her smug grin beneath her hat.

“Please, guys, I’m not worried about Finn’s loyalties. Finn, from what you told me about what happened when you first met your mother and Leader Malloy’s tests, I think it’s safe to say humans tend to overstep their bounds without realizing it. In this alien realm, they want to latch on to anything that looks even remotely familiar for comfort, and you will always be their primary target. I only want you to be mindful that you don’t have to be everything at once for them, even if they start demanding it as payment for your heritage.”

“Man, PB, that’s a real heavy take,” Finn sighs. “But I get where you’re coming from. I’ll be careful.”

“That’s all I ever ask.”

“Pffft, yeah right, as if you don’t ask hero boy to be our personal savior, like, every other month.”

“Can it, Marcy.”

The trek carries on quickly for another 20 minutes, interspersed with occasional rounds of banter amidst the four friends. Eventually, though, Finn catches sight of some tall ashes cresting an embankment in the distance and brings the group to a halt.

“That looks like the place up ahead. Jake, you mind giving me and PB a quick lift over?”

“Sure thing, pal. Let me just think…ooh, I know!”

Jake’s body explodes outward around the pair in a jiggling mass of fat and muscle, then reforms around them as a pair of harnesses attached to what looks like a Jake-ified bi-cable ropeway. The rest of Jake extends outward, leaving fleshy support columns in his wake as Finn and Princess Bubblegum are swept along with him. Marceline soars right alongside them, humming a few notes before they are swiftly delivered to the center of the grove.

“Woof! That suit you got on is way heavier than it looks, Princess.” Jake deposits the pair and reforms, huffing from his elaborate feat of elasto-mancy.

Princess Bubblegum holds up her wrist and a holographic display winks on in front of her. “I don’t know why you felt the need to strain yourself, Jake,” She replies while clicking a few buttons on her cuff. “We could have just as easily ridden you over.”

“Ehh, what’s the point of even having stretchy powers if you can’t get creative with ‘em?”

Finn pauses as he examines their surroundings. It’s an old grove for sure; most of the remaining trees are scarred and gnarled with signs of a couple hundred years of growth. A few even have a bit of candy-infused parts starting up along their branches. Far more noticeable, however, are the strange totems, ceremonial knives, and charms nailed into their boughs and trunks. On the ground, too, are several piles of animal bones and three large stones completely etched over with glyphs. A druidic cult obviously set up shop here at one point. Whether active or abandoned, Finn can’t quite tell quite yet. 

“Not to harshen the mood or anything, guys, but can we hurry up and find this place? The sunlight’s growing a bit too strong for this tranch’s liking.”

“Marcy, language!”

“Hey, you’re not the one whose cheeks start to boil if you tilt your hat the wrong way. I want to be down deep in a dark, dank cave in the next ten minutes.”

“We’re trying, Marcy, but you’ll have to give us a second. My suit’s scanner is picking up a hollow area underneath us, but I can’t determine an entry point, yet. Finn, you’re the dungeon finding expert here, do you have any ideas?”

“Hmm, I’m thinking this druid-y stuff might have something to do with it. I don’t think it’s coincidence that a dungeon would be so close to where these guys were doing their junk.” Finn approaches one of the stones and bends down for a closer look.

Jake sniffs at the air and makes a sour face, “It _smells_ like musty ol’ druid biz around here, I’ll tell you that for free.”

Finn motions for Marceline, “Hey, Mar-Mar, you wouldn’t happen to know how to read all this druid scrab, do you?”       

Marceline floats over and peers over Finn’s shoulder. “Ancient demon scrawl and undead engravings are more my speed in the language department. I can’t make any sense of this crud.”

A voice answers from the trees. “They’re instructions.”

All four party members look up to find a familiar green-skinned nymph sitting cross-legged on a branch overhead. She meets their looks with an easy-going wave. “Yo.”

Finn jumps up and whoops happily. “Huntress Wizard! What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t this way outside your usual domain in the Dark Forest?” Princess Bubblegum asks.

“After all the to-do with Golb,” Huntress Wizard explains as she gracefully descends to the ground, “I’ve decided to start keeping closer watch over the wooded areas directly outside of the Candy Kingdom, since that seems to be where most of this ‘end of Ooo’ biz tends to pop off. It’s also because I’m very forward-thinking and attractive.” She accentuates her last point by making a small pose while locking eyes with Finn.

“Uhh, that’s great HW,” Finn blushes. “Here’s the deal, though: we’re trying to find a way into a dungeon, and I think that these stones are our key to getting inside. Do you know if they say how?”

“Yup, they designate a specific triple key incantation ritual; it’s a standard druidic security measure. It’d take a while to perform, but lucky for you guys, I can just ask the trees to let you in.”

Huntress Wizard walks up to the nearest tree and puts both her hands on its trunk. She stands there for several moments, stock-still, her wooden antlers twitching slightly.

Princess Bubblegum glances at her friends and whispers, “ _Are you sure she knows what she’s-_ ”

Suddenly, Huntress Wizard lets out a primordial howl that echoes through the canopy and then releases the tree with a satisfied smile. “ _Viola._ ”

A thin seam appears at the base of the tree and stretches out to the center of the grove. The crack then splits outward in a triangle, opening to reveal a set of stone stairs descending directly into a dark tunnel.

“Score!” Marceline exclaims as she glides down the first few steps, eager to escape the rising sun at her back. “Appreciate the assist, HW.”

“No big. You dudes want me to tag along? If this dungeon was built by druids, it probably wouldn’t hurt to have someone familiar with this kind of magic around.”

“Well, I guess it would help to have another pair of eyes if we run into trouble,” Princess Bubblegum replies. “And I never did properly thank you for all of your help with Golb and Uncle Gumbald…” 

 “What’s with all this hemming and hawing junk, PB? HW is our treasured friend; ‘course she can come along!” Jake stretches out, scooping Huntress Wizard and Finn up and depositing them at the head of the group inside the tunnel. “Here, you two, take point and don’t be afraid to really scooch up close together…for tactical purposes.”

“Hmph. Very well.” Princess Bubblegum joins Marceline at the back of the pack and, together, all five venture into the darkened stairwell.

As if sensing their departure, the entrance quickly seals itself off behind them, leaving the band of adventurers navigating their way through pitch black.

Marceline sighs in relief. “Ahh, sweet darkness. How it nourishes me.”

“Uh, guys,” Finn waves his hand in front of his face, “I don’t think I’ll make the best point man if I can’t see where I’m going. Like, at all.”

Huntress Wizard leans in close next to him. “You can hold my hand if you want to, Finn.” 

“Just a second, I got it.” Princess Bubblegum clicks another button on her wrist and a soft, mauve beam emanates from one of her suit’s pauldrons. “There, all set.”

Resuming their descent, Finn notices more etchings carved along the walls. With every step they take, they appear to grow in both complexity and abundance. “Do you know anything else about what we should expect in here, HW?”

“Eh, I’ve had my run-ins with this sect before. They believe that nature is the supreme expression of Golb’s chaos, serving as the threshold by which Ooo will return to it. All hot garbo if you ask me and pretty much every other non-evil, nature-aligned entity around.” She traces her fingers along the walls. “This place was magically raised fairly recently, though. They must have been emboldened when Golb showed up.”

“Any idea what they might be up to down here?” Marceline asks.

“I’m not sure. They went through some major effort to keep this place concealed, so it can’t just be for worship or any basic ritual magic. It’s also weird that they’d pick a spot close to the Candy Kingdom instead of out in the middle of nowhere. Whatever it is, it’s probably not good.”

“We already took everything that Golb could throw at us,” Finn belts out an enthusiastic right hook, “we can stomp some chaotic-evil acolytes squatting inside a dank hole.”   

The stairwell continues downward and gradually assumes a tight corkscrew pattern, forcing Finn and company into a narrow line. After following what seems to Finn like a single never-ending right turn, the steps suddenly level out and the tight corridor opens onto a thin masonry bridge suspended over a massive chamber. The room is so large that Finn can’t see any of the furthest walls or a ceiling, even with the help of PB’s suit. Below the bridge, though, he can hear water – deep water – rolling under them.

“What do you think, HW? There’s traps or something on it, right?”

“Hmm. There’s a stone door at the other side that has some subtle magics bound to it. The bridge, itself, has a bit of it, too. I’m not picking up any trip wires or false stones with my Huntress Vision, though.”

“I could just fly us across one at a time, if you want.”

“Flight or stretching won’t help us if there’re any magical proximity triggers.”

“So, what?” Jake asks. “We just walk across and hope our heads don’t explode?”

“Not necessarily,” Princess Bubblegum reaches into a compartment on her belt and pulls out what looks like a spear shaft with a point at each end. She raises the device overhead and the two points fire outward, pulling a thin metal cable behind them. Both tips hit their mark, embedding into the walls both directly behind them and at the far side of the bridge.

“I can modify one of my gauntlet’s offensive features to send a displacement pulse across this zipline. The field should knock out any magical or mechanical traps in its vicinity.”

Huntress Wizard’s eyes sparkle in approval of the Princess’ improvisation. “Nice.”       

“Here goes.” Princess Bubblegum clasps the pole in her left hand and the forward cable in her right. “Charging:” The line crackles within the monarch’s grip. “Firing!”

There is an outward blast of pressure and a surge of energy leaps across the cable with a flash powerful enough to illuminate the entire room. Finn and company shield their eyes; the light dazzling them briefly. As the lingering aura around the line fades away, darkness douses the area once more. The group waits for a few moments more for any traps to spring. But all seems quiet.

“There. That should’ve taken care of-”

A low rumble interrupts Princes Bubblegum. Ahead of them, there is a booming crash as something big ruptures the door (and a large portion of the solid stone wall) at the far end of the bridge.

Marceline glares at Princess Bubblegum. “I thought that gizmo was supposed to conk out every trap!”

“Yes, and it did. Though, technically, I never said that using it _wouldn’t_ also attract monsters from further within.”

“We’ve got some trubs, dudes.” Huntress Wizard speaks up, drawing an arrow from her quiver. “There’s a belligerent troop of wood woads heading right for us. It might be tricky getting past them all on this chokepoint. What’s the plan?”

“We put these veggies back in the dirt; that’s the plan! YEEEARHG!” 

Finn hollers out a battle cry as he draws his sword and snatches the zipline out of Princess Bubblegum’s hand.

Princess Bubblegum cries after him, but the young hero rushes forth heedlessly and casts himself off at breakneck speed. Laughing and with his blade aloft, Finn cleaves clean through the first group of wood woads advancing on his friends. Others begin to turn tail, scrambling over each other as they attempt to escape the path of the human thresher, but they too are summarily cut down. Finn’s rout, however, is cut short as he’s wrenched to an immediate halt. He looks over, and finds his sword embedded in the thick, oaken arm of a shambling mound. The hulking floral corpus regards him coolly for an instant.

“Uh, hey…” Finn gives the Night Sword a short yank, “can I get my sword back?”

The monster’s only reply is to raise a brutally barbed vine above its head.

“Hoh boy.”        

Before the shambling mound can make good on its attack, an arrow lands dead center at its head (or, at least, what Finn would guess was its head) and erupts into blue fire. The creature makes a juddering hiss and stumbles backwards. Finn takes the opportunity to throw himself onto the bridge and then pry the edge of the sword back out of the shambling mound.

“Finn, you big dumb idiot!” Huntress Wizard calls out from behind. She and the rest of his friends are running down the bridge to regroup with him. “You can barely see what you’re fighting out here.”

“Yeah, ya butt!” Princess Bubblegum yells. She brings her palm forward and fires a concussive blast at the mound, pushing it further back.

Marceline swoops in, planting herself between Finn and the hoard. “C’mon, guys, you gotta admit, that was pretty rad on Finn’s part. Plus, it gives me plenty of room to do this: RAAAAGH!”

The vampire queen melts into herself. Frothing, she swells up and outward as her body spontaneously fashions new tissues, limbs, and organs. Topping out at eight feet, Marceline re-solidifies into a monstrous lycanthrope form with six eyes, wings, and jagged spikes of bone protruding from her body. She grins down at her prey, revealing several rows of shark-like teeth.

“Glob!” Jake shrinks and retreats behind Princess Bubblegum’s leg. “I keep forgetting that I am still very, **very** scared of her powers!”

Marceline runs a long serpent tongue across her jaws. “Chow time!”

She drops to a crouch and instantly pounces into the fray as a maelstrom of serrated teeth and razor-sharp claws. Hunks of eviscerated vegetation and sap fly everywhere.

“Man, I hope those guys can’t feel pain.” Finn remarks, looking on at the carnage unfolding out in front of them.

Huntress Wizard sidesteps the trajectory of a wood woad’s severed arm. “Nah, they’re all plant life; nothing in their husks except some corrupting magics.”

“That’s morally reassuring, I guess. Oh, and sorry about running off just then; the idea of using the zipline in a fight was too tempting to pass up.”

“You don’t have to tell me; I use my vines like that all the time. And they _are_ cool when you get to use them in battle.”

Finn smiles graciously at HW and turns to Princess Bubblegum. “Sorry to you too, Peebs. I should’ve asked before swiping the line from you.”

“Yehuh…” 

“Uh, Peebs? You okay?”

The Candy Kingdom’s ruler appears thoroughly entranced by their rampaging friend’s new form. Her eyes are unfocused and there is a faint tinge to her face as she watches Marceline rend another wood woad in half with bestial strength. Finn reaches out a hand and gently touches the side of her arm. She starts.

“Oh, uh, yes, Finn? You were saying?”

“He was apologizing to you for jacking your zipline while you were busy ogling Marcy’s new goods.” Jake answers matter-of-factly. He apparently saw fit to shrink down to the size of a hat and perch himself atop Princess Bubblegum’s head.

“I was doing no such thing! I was simply studying her, uh, movements. She’s given me an idea for a new type of harvesting tool. For the candy crops…that all my people eat.

Finn and Huntress Wizard exchange glances, doing their best to stifle the fit of giggles threatening to spill out over the ruler’s embarrassment.

Princess Bubblegum fumes at the pair, but quickly diverts her attention to the dog lounging in her hair. “And get off of my head, Jake!”

“Okay, okay! You don’t have to raise your voice at me.” Jake stretches himself over and sits on Finn’s shoulder. He looks off to Marceline. “Man, she’s still tearing it up, huh?”  

“We should move further in. It looks like most of the wood woads are either shredded or in full retreat.”

“I’ll go reign her in.” Princess Bubblegum walks along the bridge, carefully stepping over puddles of sap. Marceline is sitting in a crouched position, gnawing at a wooden carcass like a chew toy. PB claps to get her attention.

“Good job, Marcy! We’re heading further in; you can go ahead and shift back now.”

Marceline rears up and spits the chunk of wood over the edge of the bridge. “Sure thing, Bubs. Man, it’s been ages since I just got to go full ham on some low-level grunts like that.” She stretches, and then reverts to her normal form just as the rest of the team joins them.

“All that transforming has me parched, though. Finn! Hook me up with some red!”

“I got cherries and some bars of sealing wax. Which do you want?”

“Toss a few cherries and one of those bars my way.”

Finn retrieves the snacks from his pack and passes them over. His ravenous friend takes them and greedily sinks her fangs into both, draining them of their hue.

“Aw, yeah, that’s the stuff,” she says as she hands them back. “The burgundy in that wax was an excellent pick, you guys.”

“No problem, Mar-mar. Is everyone else good? I got more snacks, if anyone wants some.”

“Unless you’ve got anything that’s still raw and bloody, I think I’ll pass for now. Besides, we’re wasting time.”

“I agree with Huntress Wizard,” Princess Bubblegum says. “We need to start moving again before any reinforcements decide to show up.”

Nodding in mutual agreement, the five adventures pick up where they left off on the bridge and continue across the chamber. Ever deeper into the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

Several rooms and branching hallways later, Huntress Wizard’s mystic intuition, alongside Princess Bubblegum’s navigation tech, leads them to the entrance of a large auditorium. The floor and tiered seating surrounding it are dense with root systems, creeping vines, and various species of fungi. At its center, however, sits a giant hole.

“Looks like no traps this time,” Huntress Wizard says, striding past the entryway and up to the edge of the pit. She couldn’t see a bottom, even with her Huntress Vision. “If we want to get to the center, we’ll have to head straight down here.”

“Alright, just hold on a sec, and I’ll stretch into some rappelling gear for you, Finn, and PB. Get y’all down nice and comfy.”

Huntress Wizard turns to face them as they approach and smiles wryly. “As if. Hup!”

With a dancer’s grace, the forest nymph performs a trim backflip and sails out of view. Finn jogs up to the ledge and crouches down on his hands and knees to peer after her. A gloved finger rises to meet him and taps him on the nose.

“Beep.”

Finn laughs, “Hey, you were just yelling at me for jumping ahead of everyone!”

Directly below him, Huntress Wizard is standing on the shelf of a giant bracket fungi. There are clusters growing all along the sheer stone wall, and they appear to fully support her weight.

“That was a reckless decision you made during live combat. _This_ , however, is for the thrill of sweet parkour stunts. Or would you rather ride Jake’s baby sling down?”

“No way! I am **all** about parkour stunts, HW. One-hundred percent.”

“Prove it, nerd!” Huntress Wizard taunts him playfully as she bounces off the mushroom like a springboard.

Unable to resist the challenge, Finn takes a running leap after her. 

“For the love of Glob, be careful you two!” Princess Bubblegum yells down after them. Even if they hear her, she doubts that they will pay her words any mind. She sighs.

“Well, I guess it’s just you and me, then, Princess.” Jake says, forming the tip of his tail into a spike. He makes a hammer out of his right paw and pounds it into a crevice near the edge. “Ow, ow, ow. I’ll get you down, nice and gentle-like.”

“Or, I could just do this:”

“Do whaAAAAAHHH!”

Without warning, Marceline scoops up Princess Bubblegum bridal style, shoots out directly over the hole, and then allows herself to plummet straight down.

Left alone, Jake frowns and begins lowering himself into the pit. “I should’ve invited Lady Rainicorn. Nothin’ but a fifth-wheel over here.”

Marceline and Princess Bubblegum’s rapid decent allows them to catch up quickly with Finn and Huntress Wizard. The pair are hopping from fungus to fungus, trying to one-up one another with each jump.

Reaching roughly their level, Marceline brakes to a hovering decent just a few feet above.

Princess Bubblegum glares up at her. “You know I hate it when you do things like that!”

“That’s what makes it funny, girl.”

“Well, it’s embarrassing…and scary.”

“I could let you off here, Bonnie, and you could join our two more athletic friends on their mushrooms, if you’d prefer.”

Princess Bubblegum takes a glance below at the unseen depths that the pit has yet to reach. She holds the vampire tighter. “Actually, yeah, you know what? I’m good here.”

“Thought so,” Marceline smirks and gives her pink friend a reassuring squeeze. She then shifts her attention to the giggles and shouts below.

“Oh yeah, watch THIS: Triple gainer! Woooo!”

Finn launches through the air with has back arched and his hands around his ankles. He spins three times, then lands in a hunched position with his hands raised next to Huntress Wizard. She claps approvingly.

“Hey, I know it was my suggestion to follow, but what made you all want to come down here in the first place?”

“Oh, sorry, HW! I forgot to fill you in. The humans over at Human Town wanted me and Jake to clear this place out for them. We invited PB and Marcy along for some sick hangouts.”

“Humans, huh? I can see that.” Huntress Wizard runs down the wall at an angle to the next fungal shelf. “But how are you gonna do it?”

“Do what?” Finn asks, landing next to her once again.

“Clear this place out. It’s big, elaborate, and full of monsters. Are we going to hunt down and slay every single monster inside? Because, I’d be totally down for that, but it might take a few days. Those two, though,” she motions towards Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, “don’t look like they could rough it that long inside a dungeon.”

Marceline sneers at the comment. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Easy, Marceline.”

“I’m sure as heck tough enough to survive in this hole!”

“I’m sure you are,” Huntress Wizard replies. “But I doubt you’ve packed enough red to hold you over for a prolonged stay. You guys probably didn’t bring near enough supplies for that kind of hunt.”

“Oh, cram! I didn’t even think about that!”

“So, how did you think this was going to play out, my sweet Finn?”

Finn shrugs. “I dunno. Usually, Jake and I just get to the middle of a dungeon, grab some loot, or slay a boss and leave. It usually works out.” He smacks his forehead into the palm of his hand. “Uff, I should’ve thought this through more.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up,” Princess Bubblegum says. “Heading towards the center might actually be our best option at this point. Since this dungeon was ‘magically’ fabricated, it’s also the likely location of whatever or whoever is anchoring it to this plane. We take the anchor out, and the dungeon will go down with it.”

“And if it doesn’t?” Marceline asks.

“Then I have enough high-grade, explosive charges packed in my suit to cave the whole thing in. Baboom!”

Hearing this, Finn collects himself. “Okay, that sounds like a good plan…sorry, dudes, I really skronked up on this one.”

“No worries. You’re Ooo’s good luck charm, Finn; I’m sure things would work out for us whether we had a plan or not.”

Huntress Wizard kicks off from the mushroom and slips further into the murk below. Finn follows close at her heels. They continue downward, jump by jump, for several quiet minutes.   

“Since we’re helping them out, I’m curious: how are the humans?”

“Oh? They’re mostly alright, I guess.”

“Don’t sound too sure of yourself, there, champ.”

“I’m still trying to figure them all out. They seem good, for the most part, but there’s stuff about them that’s got me on edge.”

“Example?”

“Their leader tried to run this weird test thing on me with robotic monsters to see if I’d defend their outpost. So, obvs, I’m having some major trust issues with him, now. They’re also weirdly set on keeping to themselves, instead of exploring and living as part of Ooo. Like, it kinda defeats the whole point of moving out from Founder’s Island.”

Finn sighs. “And then there’s my robot Mom. She practically begs me to come live with her and the humans every time I visit. I know I have my own place now, but it still feels bad in my gut to keep her at a distance. Especially, after I lost out on the first part of my life with her.”

“So, in summary: you’re horribly conflicted.”       

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

“I know the feeling. I don’t see much of my peeps anymore, family included.”

“How come?”

“I’m sort of an outcast. The tree nymphs of Ooo are an apathetic people; they spend most of their time trying to physically and spiritually assimilate themselves into the natural world. Barely anyone even notices that they exist, since they hardly do anything to stand out from the ancient groves that they live in.”

Huntress Wizard continues leaping with Finn following behind. “I was far too restless and wild for such a life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents. They did their best to raise me the only way they knew how, but I felt stifled under their indifference to the world. So, I struck out on my own. I became a huntress, but when that wasn’t enough to sate my hunger for meaning, I turned to wizardry. Now, I’m a Watcher.”

“What’s a Watcher?”

“It’s an honorific for highly skilled individuals who dedicate their lives toward safeguarding Ooo’s ecosystems. We have a good union, but the dues are a pain to pay. Jungle Princess is our rep.”

“That sounds like a neat job. But what made you change from full-time wizarding?” 

Huntress Wizard’s expression grows pensive. “I’d rather not get into it right now, Finn.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

A few more bounds and Huntress Wizard suddenly stops. She gestures below her. “I can see the bottom now. We’re almost there.”

“Hey, I want to try something. Put your arm around me.”

“Finn, I’m not going to make out with you while your friends are right above our heads.”

“What?! No! I just have a way to get us both down faster.”

Huntress Wizard eyes him skeptically. “If this is just an excuse to feel up my buns, I’m gonna bop you one, bigtime.”

“Please, trust me.”

“Hmm…okay,” She squeezes in close and drapes her arm around his shoulder. “Now what?”

Finn leans over and grabs the edge of the mushroom with his bionic arm. “This! Arm: telescopic mode. Fire!”

At the hiss of compressed gas, Finn leaps off and carries Huntress Wizard down with him in free fall. The nymph shouts out in alarm.

“Finn! What are you doing?! I **know** you can’t fly!”

“It’s fine, HW! Just a few more feet and…”

Still trailing behind him, Finn’s bionic arm suddenly grows taut with surprising elasticity, slowing their decent. They gradually come to a complete stop, dangling some six feet off the ground. He lets go of the mushroom and they drop to the bottom together.

“Cool, huh? I can make it stop or retract by flexing my shoulder.” With another hiss of air, the arm comes whirling back to its original length. It clicks into place.

“I liked your grass hand better, but, yeah, it’s definitely cool.”      

“What’s up with all the yelling down there?” Marceline calls out as she and Princess Bubblegum drop into view.

“Oh, you know, the usual: Finn doing something extremely reckless that nearly gives his friends a heart-attack. Some old, same old.”

“Seriously?” Princess Bubblegum dismounts from the vampire queen’s hold. “I literally _just_ told the two of you to be careful coming down here.”

“We weren’t in any real danger, Princess,” Huntress Wizard assuages her. “I have at least eight different spells on tap to stop myself and Finn from falling to our deaths. It was just surprising, more than anything.”

Finn glances further up the pit. “Where’s Jake?”

“Coming!” Jakes answers. “Just a minute.”

A moment passes and Jake makes his entrance. He’s hanging from a long strand of himself, descending towards them like a spider at the end of its thread. “I had to reattach myself a few times. This hole was a lot deeper than I thought it was.”

He reaches the floor, retracts his tether, and looks around. The base of the pit is a simple rotunda with a thick carpet of black moss covering the floor and more druidic glyphs scrabbled across the wall. There are four doors before them, each facing a cardinal direction.

“Which way now?”    

“I’m definitely sensing a potent theurgic signature through the southern door.”

Princess Bubblegum consults her holo-mainframe. “Yep. According to my suit’s telemetry readout, Huntress Wizard has the right idea. There’s more mechanical abrasion on the moss across the southern outlet. Ambient radon activity also suggests that it connects to a deeper section of the dungeon.”

“Alright, I don’t know what you just said PB, but lead the way Finn and HW!” Jake replies with gusto, pushing the pair out to the front as they move past the stone doorframe.

“Yo, Jake,” Marceline whispers, leaning in close. “Why’re you trying so hard to keep them all paired up like that?”

“Cuz I ain’t about to give up on my bro’s chances for landing a healthy romantic relationship with a rad person; no matter how much they keep pretending to ignore it.” He gazes dotingly over at them, eyes glinting with delight. “And just look at ‘em: they’re adorable! Reminds me of me and Lady when we were starting out.”

“Maybe, but all the extra pressure you’re heaping on might end up hurting them, in the long run. Attraction has got to happen organically, dude, like a sick riff. If you try to force something out, it usually comes out wrong.”       

“I have to agree with Marceline, Jake. Finn has matured considerably, but he will likely always be in a delicate position when it comes to pursuing and maintaining a romantic partner. This is especially true now while he is transitioning into living on his own. Please, be considerate.”

“Hmph. ‘Spose y’all are right; I should be gentle. I won’t stop trying to steer them in that direction, though. I still think they could be really good for each other…”

Before they can discuss it further, the trio comes to an unexpected halt. Up ahead, they see Huntress Wizard and Finn stop dead in their tracks at the far end of the passage.

“Hey, HW,” Marceline calls. “What’s up?”

Huntress Wizard wordlessly raises an open palm toward them. She hunches down, pads her way up to the entrance of the next room, and peaks inside. Slowly, she raises her hand and motions for them to approach. All four of them carefully slink forward until they surround the edges of the gateway.

Finn leans in close to Huntress Wizard. “Something nasty in there?”

“Take a look for yourself, but don’t make any sound or sudden movements.”

The group peers into the large, gloomy room to see what looks like a subterranean courtyard full of dead plants. A slightly raised path cuts across it from their side, before splitting into a wide circle around a massive, decay-filled tree.

Marceline snickers. “What, you’re scared of some old tree? That’s haunted house-grade spooks at best.”

“SHHH!” Huntress Wizard hisses sharply. “ _That_ is an elder deadroot tree – **very** dangerous. They are highly resistant to physical attacks, regenerative, and their sap deals necrotic damage to anything it touches. They are, however, vulnerable to fire and radiant-based damage.”

“Cool, we can just burn it down.”

“I have some fire arrows and a few fire spells at my disposal, but nothing that burns hot enough to take something this big out. And even when they’re on fire, they don’t die easy.”

“I could use some of my explosive charges to blow it to bits.”

“That might be an option, but an explosion big enough to put it down for good could also cause a cave-in. Do you have any other gadgets in that suit that could help us out?”

“I was expecting more spelunking than heavy fighting down here, so my offensive options are limited. I only have my explosives, displacement blasters, and a short-range laser cutter.”

“Couldn’t you talk to it or something?” Jake suggests. “Maybe make it stand down?”

“Not likely. An elder deadroot might be reasonable if you encounter it out in its natural habitat, but since it’s here, I assume some dark magic has taken hold of its mind to make it guard the area.” Huntress Wizard pauses in thought. “Although…I do know a powerful purification spell designed to heal tainted plant-life. If you guys can restrain it just long enough for me to get in close and recite the incantation, I could purge it of its corrupting influences.”

“Sounds like a plan. Jake and I can shift into our biggest, baddest forms and pin it, tag-team style.”

“Finn and Princess Bubblegum: you two do your best to keep it distracted until it goes down.”

“What about you, HW?” Finn asks.

Huntress Wizard adopts a lotus position on the ground. “I just need a bit of prep time to weave the spell properly. Don’t worry, I’ll be there once everything is in position. Now, get to it.”

“Yes, ma’am! Mulch its buns!”

At this, the four friends charge out towards their target. Jake and Marceline quickly grow as tall and as large as the chamber will allow them. Jake takes form as a smaller version of the guardian of Founder’s Island, whereas Marceline settles on her usual bat form before taking flight. Princess Bubblegum makes the opening attack, firing a displacer beam straight at the tree’s center.

As if smashing a window, the image of an unusually large, rotting tree shatters away upon impact and reveals the true monster hidden beneath. The elder deadroot is nothing less than an arboreal giant, with barely humanoid features hewn from its thick, ulcerated trunk and long, grasping limbs crowned in thorny claws. It unleashes a bone-rattling bellow at its attackers and wrenches out from the festering dirt before tearing forward at them with surprising speed.

Jake intercepts the creature’s charge, however, by launching a wrecking-ball-sized fist that plows into the sentient tree’s facial region. The impact seems to briefly stun the deadroot in its tracks.

From above, Marceline takes advantage of Jake’s setup. On a powerful beat from her wings, she plunges into a dive with her elbow cocked. “Heeeere comes the hammer: FLYING ELBOW DROP!”

The vampire girl lands like a bomb, straight down on top of the tree. There is an explosive ‘crack’ as chunks of bark rain to the ground. The two shapeshifters linger after their attacks connect, as if trying to grind a little deeper into the enemy’s wooden hide. Immediately, dark fumes start to billow out from the bottom of Jake’s fist and Marceline’s elbow.

“Yeeowch!”

“Gaaaah!”   

The pair flinch away and reveal a sickly purple discharge weeping from the cavities that their blows left in the deadroot.

“Right, necrotic sap…” Jake examines the tender burn on his knuckles. “I’m thinking pummeling this thing open ain’t such a hot idea.”

“Jake!” Marceline cries. “Watch the honk out!”

Jake looks up just in time to regret seeing a battering ram-sized fist barreling straight towards his bread and butter. But, before it can strike, a silvery gleam streaks up across its trunk and lances right into its face. The deadroot tree’s attack flies off-course as it reels in pain. No longer off-guard, Jake promptly rushes in close for a grab. There, he finds his saving grace: Finn’s elongated bionic arm, clutching the Night Sword lodged deep in the monster’s left eye. Finn, himself, is dangling several feet below it.

“Told you an extendo-arm would add beef to my combat skills!”

“I hear that! You might wanna skedaddle, though, bro. That toxic eye sap looks like it’s starting to bleed down on you.”

“Oh, well, how about **this** , then?” Finn’s arm recompresses and yanks him up along with it. Using the momentum, Finn tears the Night Sword from its oozing sheath and launches outward. Midair, the teenager deftly reorients himself and dives toward the clawed bough below him. He fires his arm out again, sinking the blade into the tree’s knotted wrist. Finn then swings down and lands next to Princess Bubblegum on the dungeon floor.

“Great work on the mods, Peebles,” he says, giving his arm a yank to reel it back in. “They’re really uping my sword game.”

“I’m glad you’re finding good use for them, Finn, but, right now, we need to up our distraction tactics. That thing could do some serious damage to Marcy or Jake, if we don’t keep its attention on us.”

Princess Bubblegum finishes her thought by letting lose another disperser blast from her gloves. The shot barely registers against the deadroot as it wrestles against Jake and Marceline’s combined holds.

“Hmm. My laser cutter could effectively pierce its armor, but the range is too short to make it worth the risk.”

“Could you juice the beam somehow? Like, take it from another part of your suit?”

“No, nothing in my suit has the capacity to generate that kind of raw energy. I’d need to reroute my subsystems to an external power core…”

The candy princess’ eyes wander in contemplation, catching on the gleaming eye embedded in the hilt of the Night Sword.

“Finn, that sword – that’s the one Peppermint Butler made for you using Huntson’s powers, correct?”    

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is.”

“Perfect! Give it here, please.”

Finn complies, surrendering the sword to her. “I thought you didn’t like using magic, though.”

Princess Bubblegum thrusts the blade into the ground and opens a panel on the side of her armor. She fishes out a bundle of wires. “I don’t like _calling_ things magic, but I can use it just fine. All magics are just highly differentiated forms of energy manipulation, dressed up in mystical hoodoo. To that end, ‘magic’ artifacts, like this guy, are essentially closed systems packed with highly malleable potential energy.”

“OWOWOW OW! HOT! HOT!” Jake yelps as he finally loses his hold on the deadroot tree. It throws him off and presses the attack. As it looms over him, its splintered face spills more beads of toxic sap down onto his fur.

Marceline leaps up from behind, putting the monster into a headlock as she tries to force it away from Jake. “Guys! If you’re planning on helping, now would be a **great** time for some team effort!”

“One more second, Marcy!” Princess Bubblegum shouts in reply. “Now, I just need to reroute my suit’s output…there! I’m ready.” She turns to where the fiend and their friends are still struggling. “Marcy! Jake! Unless you two want to be part of the light show, you better get the stuff outta there, now!”

Heeding the warning, Marceline lays one more slash into her foe’s body for good measure. She then grabs Jake in her claws and beats a hasty withdrawal out of reach. A clarion whir rises from Princess Bubblegum’s suit as she aims her fist at the deadroot tree. Sparks pour off the couplings on the Night Sword behind her.

“ **HEY!** KNOB WAD! I GOT SOMETHIN’ FOR YA!”

The creature bellows and storms forward, rending away the floor in its path. A single eye fixes on her with all its poisonous, floral fury. Princess Bubblegum, however, does not faulter. She centers herself upon the trembling ground and extends her index finger. A tiny bead of rose-pink light forms at the end of it.

She smiles and raises her thumb to make a finger gun. “Ba-bang.”

A rail of neon pink light explodes outward from her fingertip, and slams straight into the deadroot tree’s leg. The laser obliterates the limb upon impact, leaving only a cauterized stump in its wake. Freshly amputated, the monster pitches forward mid-charge and crashes into the ground with a resounding bang.

“Marcy, Jake: Pin it down as hard as you can!”

“Can do, boss!” Marceline salutes. She drops down and tosses a slightly singed Jake onto the writhing creature.

“I ain’t touching anymore of that sap junk, though.”

Jake stretches out into a giant pair of shackles that he uses to bind its arms behind its back, while Marceline grabs hold of its remaining leg. Finn pulls a backup dagger from his pack and sprints up to the deadroot’s gnashing face. He levels the blade at the tree’s remaining eye, though he can see that the other one is already starting to regrow.

“Okay, HW! He’s down for the count! Ready when you are!”

A beat passes, but there is no sign of the stoic wood nymph anywhere.

“Huntress Wizard?!” Finn starts to panic and looks back toward Princess Bubblegum. “PB! Can you hit it again?”

The princess holds up the shredded remains of the laser glove around her wrist. “Sorry, Finn. That shot completely blew out my core system. The suit’s junked.”

Finn grits his teeth. “Then I guess I’ll have to carve this thing’s face open, crawl into its head, and chop up its brains.”

A small bird alights onto the top of Finn’s head and, in a flash, Huntress Wizard appears, sitting on his shoulders. “Don’t be so dramatic, hero.”

“Oh, thank Glob! I was getting worried there, for a second, HW.”

“Maybe next time give it more than six seconds before you start to freak out. Now, hold still; I need to concentrate.”

Still perched on Finn’s shoulders, Huntress Wizard leans forward and lays both hands on the corrupted plant. She closes her eyes and chants. The language is soft and lilting with a rolling susurration underneath reminiscent of rain against a distant canopy, or the rustle of dry sticks carried on the wind. Even Finn – acutely unfamiliar with magic, as he is – senses that the dialect is ancient in a way he can scarcely comprehend.

A white aura builds around Huntress Wizard’s arms as she continues the incantation. Her eyes snap open, radiating the same brilliant glow as the chant reaches its crescendo. A shattering roar explodes from her throat like the sound of lightning splitting a tree, and the purging energy surges out across the monster’s entire rotten body. Huntress Wizard falls back, momentarily drained from channeling the spell, but Finn quickly catches her from underneath and rearranges her into a more comfortable piggyback position. Her head slumps forward into the crook of his neck.

Taking a moment, she rights herself, but makes no attempt to dismount Finn. “Ooof, that one always drains me like I’m sitting butt deep in a swarm of ticks. You guys can let go of him now.”

Marceline raises an eyebrow, “Him?”

“Yeah, got a pretty good feel of the guy with my magic just then. His name is Woodrow.”

“Are you sure Woodrow won’t be mad about all the punching, cutting, and laser amputations?” Jake asks nervously. “Because I’d be mad, if it was me.”   

“N O…I am noo…ot angered.”

The friends look to find that the deadroot tree’s features have softened. Jake and Marceline release him, and, with some creaking effort, he manages to sit up. He continues to speak, though his mouth seems to have trouble forming around the syllables. He was likely out of practice with coherent speech.

“My mmindless ho-hostility deemanded retribution. I…I w-wish tooo thank you for freeing me. Especially…you, little daughter oof the forest.”

“No prob, dude. Comes with the woodland heroine territory.”

“Still…I am o-obligated to assist you and y-your friends in any way I can.”

“Can you tell us what’s at the center of the dungeon?” Princess Bubblegum asks, moving in from the sidelines. She has stripped off her broken armor and is now wearing a practical explorer’s outfit. “Or maybe why this place is even here?”

“My captor boound me many years ago with dark magics. I was his personal guardian. Weeks ago, he and several others of similar magical caliber coll…collaborated to create this place. My understanding, such as it was in that senseless state, was that they desired to beckon forth an object of great power. I do not know the nature of this object. I was, however, bidden to guard the passage to the central summoning chamber.” The wooden giant extends a branch and indicates a solid slab of stone, bound in thick vines, at the far side of the subterranean courtyard. “I will open the way for you all.”

Uncurling a finger-like twig, the tree-man traces several symbols into the air. The vines unravel themselves and the seamless chunk of stone splits open, revealing another dark hallway beyond.      

“Thank you, Mister Woodrow,” Princess Bubblegum bows. “We appreciate your aid.”

 “Yeah,” Jake agrees. “And sorry about the leg, buddy.”

“Worry not. It will regrow.”

Finn retrieves his sword as the gang collects itself. They then head off towards the opening. As they step through, they hear Woodrow speak again.             

“Adventurers, before you press further, heed my final warning. Not long ago, I felt my original captor’s control over my mind wane. It became overshadowed by another, darker presence. It was this new entity that putrefied my body and subjugated me until just now. I know not what it portends, but I fear that the druids may have been successful in their attempt to draw upon profane powers.”

Huntress Wizard considers the tree man’s words and nods. “Thanks for the info, Woodrow; we’ll keep it in mind. Take care and get out of here while you can; we’re bringing this whole place down.”

Saying their goodbyes, they move deeper through the passage. Without her suit, Princess Bubblegum lights a small lantern attached to her hip. The light is much weaker than the previous one, but still bright enough to get by on.

“Nice guy, that Woodrow,” Jake comments. “Well-spoken, for a guy that was bleeding acid on me a few minutes ago.”

Princess Bubblegum grimaces in worry, “Oh my, I forgot to ask, are you okay, Jake? I have some burn ointments in my first-aid kit, if you need it.”

“Nah, my coat just got a little singed is all. It’ll smell bad for a while, but no biggie.”

“Well, I just wanna say – Bonnie, Huntress – those were some _primo_ lightshows you two pulled off back there. I should take you two on my next tour. My fans would go crazy over special effects like that.”

“A tempting offer, Marceline, but as you can see,” HW motions towards herself, slumping on Finn’s back, “a top-tier purification spell really has a way of taking it out of you.”

“Do you need to rest, HW? We can totally take a break, if you want.”

“No, I’m fine right here, Finn.” Huntress Wizard drapes her arms further across the human boy’s shoulders. “Just need to recharge for a bit.”  

“Where’d you learn that spell from? One of your secret magic classes?” Jake asks.

“Not exactly. That spell…the ability to cast its basic form is unique to my people. They use it to purge blighted areas of the forests that they make they homes in. I just dialed up the magnitude with some wizard knowhow.”

“Sort of like how PB dialed up the juice on her laser using the Nightosphere magic from my Night Sword.”

Princess Bubblegum sighs heavily and mutters something underneath her breath.

“You say something, Princess?”

“…Not magic.”

“What?”

“IT’S NOT MAGIC! NONE OF THIS IS MAGIC! Ever since we got here, it’s been nothing but ‘spells this’ and ‘wizardry that’. Everything we’ve encountered here, everything that can ever be encountered anywhere, is the product of universal laws and constants. Not understanding these rules, or the ways that they can bend, doesn’t make them magic!”

Finishing her tirade, Princess Bubblegum takes a deep breath. “I apologize for shouting. I was holding that in for the last few hours and I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Geez, not this again.” Marceline rolls her eyes.

“Oh, right,” Finn says, looking back to Huntress Wizard over his shoulder. “PB hates it when people call stuff magic. I actually should have told you that a while ago. Since you’re, like, a wizard and everything.”

“Look, do we have to get into this right now, Bonnie? Let’s all just enjoy these nice, gloomy corridors together. We can’t be far off from the center.”

“No, Marcy, I can’t stand all this talk of magic bull-honkus anymore. If you don’t know the correct term for the phenomena you’re describing, please use energy, force, system, process, or any number of words that describe real things which exist. I’m begging you.”

Huntress Wizard’s eyes narrow. “Well, Princess Bubblegum, since you’ve been so refreshingly candid in talking down to me and my skills, answer me this: does a songbird’s ignorance of compression waves diminish the sweetness of its melody?”

Opening her mouth, Princess Bubblegum attempts to retort, but hesitates. 

“No answer? How about this one: is a flower’s bloom less vibrant because it has no grasp of electromagnetic radiation? Or does a painter’s art suffer if they don’t know the molecular weights of their pigments? Hmm?”

“No,” Princess Bubblegum huffs. “No, they don’t.”

“Here’s the deal: I know science is at the core of all magics. Unlike you, though, I manage to see the forest for the trees. Sure, I _could_ while away countless hours dissecting every facet of my powers, but I have zero interest in cataloging how or why they work. I only care about what I can do with them.”

She summons an arrow, levitating it in her hand. “And I use them to hunt – I kill, I eat, I survive to grow strong. It’s that strength which allows me to carve out a sense of meaning from my madness. And, as of right now, that same strength impels me to call my powers by the names I have come to know them by, whether you like it or not.” She crosses her arms, her eyes flashing haughtily from behind her mask. “So, sit on that, Princess.”

An awkward silence reigns between the five party members, but it is cut off by a peal of laughter from Marceline. 

“OOOOOHHHHH! She NAILED your persnickety butt, Bonnie! I swear, guys, I lost count of how many times I’ve had this stupid argument with her, but I never got her as good as HW just did.”

Princess Bubblegum blushes hot pink under the vampire queen’s goading. “S-shut up, Marcy! I’m just… I’m really, REALLY passionate about proper nomenclature!”

“Yeah, yeah. Just go ahead and admit that you’ve got squat to answer her with.”

“Okay, fine! I admit it. Since Huntress Wizard already acknowledges that magic is governed by the laws of reality, I won’t keep trying to force the issue.” She turns back to Huntress Wizard. “I’m sorry, Huntress; I didn’t mean to come off as patronizing. Up until now, every wizard I’ve ever met held a reckless belief that their powers put them outside and superior to the realm of hard facts. I thought the same of you, and I got defensive. I shouldn’t have been quick to assume. Please forgive me.”

“It’s cool. I respect a gal who defends her principles. Like that time when you stuck it to the Grand Master Wizard – **so** choice.”

Listening as the two continue their discussion on the tenets of science and magic, Finn breathes a quiet sigh of relief. He was thankful that the flash point between the two girls had fizzled out as quickly as it had arisen. The last thing he needed on his conscience was bad blood forming between two of his closest friends. Especially, while they were in a dungeon he had suggested visiting. Still, Finn couldn’t help but smile to himself thinking about how self-assured and steadfast Huntress Wizard had been against PB’s domineering manner. He felt proud of her.

Walking on, the group continues down through the tunnel for several minutes. The reticulated brickwork around them meanders through the earth, seemingly without clear intent of its ultimate direction. The long space is filled with rotten root systems, mutated fungi, and the ripe stench of decay. Every so often, Finn swears he can hear something skittering around, just out of sight.

After a while, Jake takes a deep whiff of the air. “Heyo, smells like something’s real close up ahead, kiddos.”

Rounding another warped bend, the friends find themselves at the abrupt end of the corridor. There is a large pentagonal opening carved into the center of the wall before them. A deep blue light is flickering faintly inside.

“Any more traps, HW?” Finn whispers, looking down at the sorceress nestled comfortably on his shoulder.

“Nope. All clean, as far as I can tell. Guess these guys trusted Woodrow to keep intruders out.”

Marceline shrugs and floats on through. “Eh, it’s not like it’ll be getting any more pleasant down here. Let’s head in already.”

They follow the vampire’s lead through the oculus, which ushers them into what looks like the dungeon’s innermost sanctum. Hundreds of candles lit with ethereal sapphire flames line every inch of the room’s perimeter. The walls and ground are covered in more druidic script and fractal-like glyphs. Intricate totem cairns and fetishes crowd the ceiling like bat colonies.

At its center, however, is a circle, several rows deep, of skeletons arrayed in a variety of magi garb. They are all frozen in positions of worship and prayer around a high pedestal composed of thick, interwoven roots breaking through the stone floor. Upon it sits a yellowware reliquary in the shape of a cube topped with a pyramid. The face of a mutated skull is embedded into the front of it.

“Geez…I guess they all straight-up croaked, huh?” Finn says, approaching the ring of desiccated bodies. “That summoning thing must have backfired hard.”

Princess Bubblegum leans down and inspects one of the druids. “I’m more concerned over the possibility that the ritual succeeded. Whatever did this emitted enough power to instantly atomize flesh, but with enough specificity to leave everything else intact.”

“It’s pretty obvious it has something to do with whatever they’re all hunched around.” Huntress Wizard slips off Finn’s back and vaults over to the pedestal. “I’m feeling a mad energy signature on this thingy. Whatever’s inside is keeping the dungeon tethered. As soon as we take it surface-side, the whole place should collapse.”

“I love me some potentially cursed items, but are we sure we want to open that?” Jake motions to the skeletons. “Considering what happened to these chumps?”

“I’m thinking these guys were wasted by the summoning ritual, itself.” Huntress Wizard picks up the reliquary. “Whatever we have here is likely one of the implements they were using during it.”

Finn holds up his hand. “Yo, toss it here, HW, and I’ll open it up. I ain’t no wimp.”  

“Alright, let me cast a quick protective ward around you first, just in case.” The nymph points at Finn and mumbles a few words under her breath. A thin beam of yellow light shoots out of her fingertip and hits Finn square in the chest. “There,” she says, tossing the container to him. “You’re all set.”

“Rock.” Finn grabs the top of the triangle, pulls it off, and looks inside.

“Well, what is it?” HW asks.

“Just some old bones; they’re not even magical looking.”

Marceline blows a lock of hair out of her face. “Pff. Talk about anticlimactic.”

“Hey, at least we get first pick on all this cool druid gear,” Jake remarks. He takes a wide-brimmed hat from one of the dead and dons it at a jaunty angle. “Huh? I’m lookin’ pretty cool, right?”

Huntress Wizard shrugs. “I guess I could always use another spell book or two.”

“That’s the spirit. How ‘bout you PB? Marceline?”

“Ugh,” Princess Bubblegum’s face wrinkles in disgust. “Thanks, but I’m definitely taking a hard pass on the whole corpse scavenging party.”

“Well, that settles it,” Marceline floats to the nearest skeleton and begins searching its pockets. “I won’t rest until I find a present that totally grosses you out, Bon-Bon. Oh, hey! How about this skull, or maybe a pelvis?”

Finn giggles at Princess Bubblegum’s groan as he stows the reliquary in his pack. He then bends down beside Huntress Wizard to help her sift through the remains.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Finn and his friends emerge from the dungeon, the entrance crumbles into nothing behind them. Finn blinks blearily at the warm twilight colors now bleeding across the sky. They had been down there for much longer than he’d originally intended. Still, they’d managed to complete their mission, scored a bit of loot, and hung out together as a team. A great way to spend a day, all things considered.

Huntress Wizard puts her hand to the ground where the hole to the stairwell once stood. “Yep, the dungeon is officially toast from what I’m sensing.”

“Cool,” Marceline says. “After all that work, I’m ready to go demolish a couple of pizzas. Anyone want to come along? I’m getting mine with extra sun-dried tomatoes, peperoni, and red peppers.” 

“That sounds great, Marceline, but I think I’ll head over to Human Town, instead. My mom was mega nervous about me going down there, so I want to let her know how well we did.”

“I’ll pass, too,” Huntress Wizard says. “I’m more in the mood for a nice hunk of bear meat tonight.”

“I’d come, but I promised Lady that I’d eat dinner with her and some of the pups.”

Marceline turns to Princess Bubblegum and shifts her eyes to make them big and watery. She looks at her girlfriend pleadingly.

PB smiles. “Sure, I can grab a slice or two with you, ya goof.”

“Yusss!” Marceline exclaims, zipping over to Princess Bubblegum and hauling her over her shoulder. “Let’s go right now! See you guys later!”

“Whoa! Marceline, not agai-aaaaAA **AAA!** ”

Before the princess could protest, Marceline had already blasted off, carrying the shouting monarch along with her into the sky.

“Welp, I’m heading off too. See you tomorrow, Finn.”

“Sure thing, bro. Tell Lady and the pups that Uncle Finn said ‘hi’.”

“I will, don’t worry. Goodnight, HW.”

“Night, Jake.”

Jake stretches out his legs into a lengthy pair of stilts and strides down the hillside, waving back at the pair as he leaves. Finn is now left all alone with Huntress Wizard. She stares at him expectantly, her eyes gleaming a faint green underneath the long evening shadows of the trees.

The young hero rubs the back of his head. “Thanks for helping out again, Huntress. I’m glad you showed up when you did. I don’t think we could’ve done it without you.”

“Glad to be of service.” She pauses with a brief glance off into the distance. “You know, instead of hunting, I think I’d actually enjoy getting a closer look at this ‘Human Town’. Maybe I could come with you?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I’d like that, Huntress – I really would – but the humans don’t really want non-human visitors. It’s super messed up, I know, but I don’t think they’d let you inside.”

“Hmm, shame. Couldn’t hurt to try, though, could it? I spent my entire day fighting on their behalf, so I’d hope they’d show a little appreciation in return.” She walks a few paces in the direction of the village, and motions for him with a faint smile. “C’mon, I’m sure it’ll be fine. And if it isn’t, I promise that I’ll take the hint and ghost out.”

Finn wavers for a moment, but ultimately relents. “Okay, we’ll give it a go.”

Huntress Wizard’s smile grows wider. “Great!” She bounds up onto Finn’s shoulders. “I know a way we can get over there quick, too. Try to hold on.”

“What, like, to your ankles or something?”

“GRAHHHH!”

With a cry, Huntress Wizard’s body starts to twist and crack with nightmarish speed: feathers furl out across her skin, the bones in her arms lengthen and fuse, and her ribcage expands outward. Finn squeezes his eyes shut just as he glimpses a rash of scutes crawling up his friend’s legs. Bone continues to crack and snap overhead for a few moments more, then things go quiet. He feels a strong gust of air glide across his face. Peeking up, he sees Huntress Wizard fully transformed into a giant hawk. She still has her mask and hood on, which Finn thinks is cute. She gives her wings a few test flaps.

“That doesn’t hurt you, does it, HW? ‘Cuz if it does, we could’ve walked.”      

The giant bird wizard bends her head down and regards him with a single eye and an unreadable expression etched onto her beak. She caws once.

“Oh, right, you can’t talk in animal form. Off we go, then, I guess.”

Another caw, and Huntress Wizard pushes up from the ground with several strong beats of her wings. Her claws hold him slightly, but not painfully as they ascend.

“Man, I wish I could turn into a winged creature. Like a butterfly or a simurgh.” Finn looks down, watching the trees and hills pass by underneath them. “Though, I bet I’d miss out on a lot of starting points for quests and stuff. It’s not like you run into mystical strangers or get hailed by unfortunate travelers once you’re up in the sky…but, still, I wouldn’t pass up a chance to fly.” He looks back up at Huntress Wizard. “Hey, HW, would you be able to cast a spell that could turn me into a bird? Caw once for ‘yes’, twice for ‘no’. Three times for ‘maybe’. And how about four times for ‘you’re not sure, but with some digging you might be able to’.”

Huntress Wizard caws twice.

“Aww, dang. That would’ve been sweet, if you could. Everything that I’ve ever gotten magically transformed into has sucked. I’ve been a giant foot, an egg, bread, a hug-crazy wolfman, a demon, a kitten – which wasn’t _so_ bad, actually – and a bunch of other junk that I don’t even want to get into. But, honestly, I’m just rambling out loud right now because I’m anxious about how the humans will react when you show up with me.”

Finn feels the talons around his shoulders give him a comforting squeeze. He grins, grabs further up her legs, and squeezes affectionately back.

Eventually, Human Town rolls into view and Huntress Wizard takes them down gently to the front of the main gate. Another series of sickening cracks and the sorceress is standing tall on his shoulders, once again.

“Here we are. And to answer your question from before, Finn, no, transforming doesn’t hurt. It does get exhausting if I do it too much, though.”

“That’s good to know. It looks and sounds wicked painful.”

“Yeah, a lot of primeval nature magic just works like that; it’s nothing to worry about.” She hops down and studies the bulkhead before them. “Should we try to head in?”

“Okay…here goes,” Finn presses the large red button next to the smaller side entrance. It makes an electronic knocking sound. A few moments pass and the door unlatches, revealing a beaming Minerva-bot on the other side.

“Hello, my beautiful boy!” She leans in and embraces him, planting a loving kiss on his cheek.  

Finn blushes, but hugs back just as tightly. “Hey, Mom. My friends and I managed to clear out that dungeon like you asked.”

“How wonderful!” She steps back, and a small light emits from her eye, scanning over him. “And no injuries, too; I’m so relieved. But your blood glucose levels are reading low. Poor dear, you must have missed lunch today.”

“Oh, yeah, we were busy down there. Didn’t really find a chance to eat.”

“I’d love to make you something, if you’d come in.”

“Uh, about that…” He gestures to Huntress Wizard. “This is Huntress Wizard. She’s one of my best friends, and really helped me out in that dungeon. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without her.”

Huntress Wizard bows. “Enchanté, Miss…”

“Minerva Campbell, but you can also call me Minerva or Minerva-bot.” She takes the nymph’s hands into her own. “I’m grateful that my son has such good friends to look over him on these perilous adventures of his.”

“Well, since HW was such a big help today, I was wondering if, maybe, she could join us for dinner tonight? To thank her?”

Minerva’s features take a faint edge as she unclasps Huntress Wizard. “Now, Finn, you know Human Town’s policy on-”

“Please, Mom!” Finn blurts out. “Just for a few hours? We owe her something after she risked her life to help me. And after that scheme Leader Malloy pulled on me, it’d really help me start building up my trust for humans, again.”

The android’s eyes flit between her son’s pained expression and the hooded girl standing quietly next to him. She sighs. “Very well. You trust her, Finn, so I do as well. But we can only have dinner: no tours or exploring the town tonight.”

Finn beams and hugs his mother again. “Thank you, Mom. This means a lot to me.”

“Me too.” Huntress Wizard concurs, “And believe me, Miss Campbell, I’ll stay on my best behavior.”

“Yes, of course, dears, but come along quickly, before anyone takes notice.”

Rushing inside, Minerva seals the door behind them and marshals the pair along an alleyway obscured from the town’s thoroughfare.

“Fortunately, I located my home as close to the gate as possible since I knew I’d be meeting with you on a regular basis, Finn. According to my records of the town’s average foot traffic and population density, it’s highly unlikely that someone will spot us along this route, late in the day.”

“Perfect.”

“What would you kids like for dinner? I can make some of my special mac and cheese. You never did get a chance to try it, Finn.”

“That sound good to you, Huntress? I know you’re way more about protein than carbs.”

“That’s fine. I’m just excited for the opportunity to taste authentic human cuisine.”

“Ah, I should have guessed your dietary preferences from your name, dear. I can add some pork tenderloin or fried chicken to the menu, if you’d like.”

“I’ll eat anything with a pig in it.”

“Very good.” Minerva stops before a small, two-story home and opens the back door. “This way, please.”

As Finn steps in, a familiar sight greets him. The living room is a near perfect replica of the VR space he had bid his mother farewell in upon departing Founder’s Island – wooded floors, an orange couch and blue chair marked with stains from heavy use, even the same type of lamps. There are small alterations in color and material, to be sure, but the layout is nearly indistinguishable. He is standing in his would-be childhood home.

“Wow, I never knew that androids lived in such cozy houses.” Huntress Wizard remarks.

“Sweet of you to say, Huntress Wizard. Strictly speaking, the unit that I’m currently inhabiting doesn’t _need_ a domicile, but I wanted a little place outside of my servers to call a home. Ever since we arrived in Ooo, I’ve been trying to integrate myself more with my people. Finn made me realize that I had distanced myself from them for far too long.” She motions to the couch. “But we can save that kind of talk for dinner. Come, you two mighty warriors sit and relax while I start cooking. I’ll bring you both some refreshments, shortly.”

The two friends settle comfortably into their seats as Minerva walks down the hall and into what could only be the kitchen area. The faint clack of mechanically precise cooking follows a few seconds later.

“You’re mom’s the nicest lady in the world, dude. I’m surprised you were worried on the way over.”

“Yeah, well, it was never really her that I was worried about; it’s the other humans. And, with the way she had to steal us in, I think I was right.”

“What are they gonna do? Kick me out? That’d be their loss.” Huntress Wizard begins unlacing her boots. “I’m _very_ cool, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed. I just don’t want to dig up stuff that’s really…ugly about other humans, especially with you in the middle of it.”

“You’re also deeply apprehensive that I might come to associate this ‘ugly’ aspect of other humans with you.”

“How did-”

She points to her antlers. “Highly developed worry-sense, remember? But like I told Princess Bubs: I only care about actions and the results they produce. Anything else is either trivial or lost to the mists of the self.”

“Huh?”

“If a group of vigilante humans broke in here and tried to execute me as a mutant, they’d fail, obviously, but those actions would only reflect upon them, not you. They would not reveal some deep-seated evil at the core of your species. And they wouldn’t change how I see you. You grok me?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Cool.” Huntress Wizard finishes unlacing her boots and kicks them off her feet. She then tosses off her archery glove and quiver. They turn into leaves as soon as they hit the ground.

“What’re you doing?”

“Getting comfortable, duh.” She unclasps her cloak and removes her hood. Verdure locks spill out in a delicate frame around the nymph’s masked face. The cloak instantly turns into a leaf, too, as she arcs her back and stretches out luxuriously upon the cushions. “Ahhh.”

Finn blushes at her lithe, green figure next to him; all the while ignorant of Huntress Wizard peaking up at him from the corner of one eye, smirking slightly to herself.

Hearing footsteps, Finn snaps forward to see his mom approaching them with two glasses in hand. She smiles.

“I’ve been talking with Jake over email about your favorites, Finn, so I have hazelnut coffee with plenty of cream and sugar for you. Huntress Wizard, I hope that a cup of gunpowder green tea suits your tastes. If not, I can fetch you something else.”

“That’s just fine, Miss Campbell. Allow me:” A yellow light engulfs both mugs and Huntress Wizard levitates them into each of their hands.        

“Thank you, dear. Enjoy your drinks, and I’ll call you once dinner is served.”  

Minerva retreats into the kitchen, leaving the pair alone again. Huntress Wizard takes a long draw from her tea.

Finn takes a few sips from his coffee. “What made you interested in humans all of the sudden, HW?”

Huntress shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I be? It’s an entire new society setting up shop in Ooo. Could be the start of some big changes. New politics, new borders, new tech – it’s going to affect everyone. Plus, after all your stories about Founder’s Island, I wanted to see your mom for myself.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, you know…I thought it might be nice, for once, to see what it looked like to have a mother that’s actually compassionate about their child. Maybe bask in some secondhand maternal love or something?” She glances down into her mug, swirling the drink around. “Grod, I just realized how weird it was of me to insist on coming over here.”

“Hey, it’s okay; everyone wants to feel loved by family. I used to dream about visiting my real mom for dinner back before I knew where I came from. I’m grateful that I even have a chance to let you and all my other friends meet her.”

“That’s really sweet and cute.”

“I guess you don’t visit your parents much, huh?”

“I mean, I stop by a few times every year, but it’s mostly in my capacity as a protector of the forests. My people are a part of my domain, so I’m obligated to make sure that they stay safe and guard against external threats.” She looks down into her tea and swirls it around. “My parents…since I’m no longer part of the clan, I just don’t matter to them anymore.”

Finn places his hand – his real hand – on Huntress Wizard’s shoulder. “Their loss. You’re _very_ cool, if you haven’t noticed.”

Huntress Wizard beams and leans into his chest. “Yeah, I know. But you are, too, Finn.”    

They stay like that for a little while longer, sipping idly at their drinks and enjoying the presence of each other’s company until they hear Minerva’s call:

“Finn! Huntress Wizard! Dinner is served.”

Huntress Wizard drinks down the rest of her tea and rises from her seat. “Let’s put all that baggage on the backburner, for now, Finn. I’m starved.”

“Sure,” Finn says, feeling light on his feet as he follows her down the hallway. “Me too.”

Upon entering, the two adventurers are blown away by the banquet-esque spread that meets them. Minerva had clearly gone all out to impress her son for the occasion. Centered on the table is a deep white serving bowl heaped high with the creamiest macaroni and cheese Finn had ever seen. Alongside it, there is a platter of parmesan-crusted pork tenderloin nestled in a bed of potatoes and cooked veggies, as well as a basket of bread rolls, fresh from the oven.

Minerva is standing patiently behind her seat. “I hope the food came out alright; I can’t exactly do a taste test of anything.”

Finn takes his place across from his mother. “Mom, how did you make all of this in, like, 20 minutes?”

“I can barely cook a few hunks of elk this fast.” HW sits down next to Finn. “And that’s _with_ fire magic.”

“The technology from Founder’s Island allows rapid meal synthesis from a few basic ingredients. I didn’t use any synth food for tonight’s fare, of course, but the equipment still greatly accelerates any basic cooking process.” Minerva sits and gestures to the food. “But, please, help yourselves to anything you like.”  

Huntress Wizard takes a knife, skewers several cuts of pork, and rips into them with her sharp teeth. Her eyes grow wide. “Iff’s gooff!”

Normally, Finn would have gladly joined HW in her ferocious eating habits, but – mindful of his mother’s espousal of proper etiquette and grammar – he instead takes the time to dole out some well-proportioned servings for himself. Taking his first spoonful of macaroni, though, he has to stop himself from shoveling the rest into his face.

“So, Mom, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“What is it, sweetie?”

“Do you know why the humans here are against interacting with Ooo’s non-humans? Why did they come out all this way if they just want to sit behind a force field forever?”

“Yeah,” HW chimes in around another mouthful of meat. “They scared of us, or somethin’?”

The question brings a contemplative frown to Minerva’s face. “To be honest, Finn, I don’t know. Coming to Ooo was not my decision to make; it was a venture orchestrated by a faction of political elite, like Leader Malloy, back on Founder’s Island. I’m only in control of logistics and infrastructural development, so I’m not privy to the long-term goals of the outpost.”

She sighs. “I worry about this push for isolationism, though. Granted, breaking from centuries of self-imposed seclusion is not an easy adjustment to make. But, from what you showed me Finn, I know now that clinging to the safety of walls both real and imaginary will not help us grow as a people.”

“Can’t you just tell everyone that?”

“I’ve made my reservations clear to our citizenry, but they feel vulnerable and scared in this new world. Most support a cautious approach, while Leader Malloy is all too eager to oblige them when dealing with Ooo’s locals.”

“You’re just gonna leave it be, then, Miss Campbell?” Huntress Wizard asks skeptically. “You know, a stagnant spring only starts flowing again once you disturb the waters. Usually by draining it.”

“I’ve been hoping that their fears would gradually dissipate, but you do raise an excellent point, Huntress: if humanity continues down this road, their paranoia of the outside world may only grow with time. Perhaps even dangerously so.”      

“Is there anything we could do to help? I could give another big speech to everyone, if you want. That seemed to do the trick last time.”

Minerva shakes her head. “Thank you for offering, dear, but I don’t think that will cut it this time around. Our people’s future in Ooo depends upon the success of Human Town; we might do serious damage to its prospects if we aren’t careful with how we approach this problem. I’ll need time to think things through before I settle on a plan.”

A look of uncertainty crosses Finn’s face. Recent experience had taught him that talking things out clearly and openly with everyone involved was usually the best solution for these big problems. Even so, he had to admit that he had been immensely lucky with Founder’s Island and Gumbaldia. Both times, his well-intentioned interventions had nearly cost them everything.

He nods. “Okay, Mom, if you’re sure. Just call me and my friends when you decide what to do. We want to break humanity out of its shell too.”

Dinner went on for a while longer as the conversation drifted toward more pleasant topics: Minerva was interested in learning the extent of Huntress Wizard’s magical abilities, HW was equally curious about Founder’s Island, and Finn gave them the latest on how he was faring in his new home. But, as they ate more than their fill and evening wound its way toward night, the pair knew that it was finally time to take their leave. Ever the gracious host, Minerva saw them to the door.

“Are you sure you don’t want help with the dishes?” Fin asks as they stand in the doorway.

“No need, Finny, the autowash cycle in the kitchen will take care of them for us. It was wonderful finally getting a chance to cook for you after all these years.”

“It was a great meal, Mom. Everything was delicious.” 

“That means the world to me, honey. And it was lovely meeting you as well, Huntress Wizard.”

“Likewise, Ma’am.” Huntress Wizard makes a small gesture with her hand and several leaves float over to her from the living room. They land on her and transmute back into her usual equipment.

“If it weren’t for present policy, I would invite you to visit whenever you wish.”

HW nods and gives the woman a brief hug. “We’ll have to work on changing that together. Won’t we?”

“Undoubtedly.” 

“We’ll see you later, then, Mom. Love you.”

“Love you too, dear. Both of you be safe out there.”

Waving goodbye, Finn and Huntress Wizard trace their way back down the unlit back alleys and up to the front gate. Fortunately, finding no one around, they manage to slip through the barrier without incident. The adventurers then walk for a time among the honey locusts and pin oaks dotting Sweetwater Bay, letting the distant roar of the ocean permeate their shared silence.

“That was fun, Finn.”

“Yeah, it really was. I’m glad you talked me into asking, HW.”

“Me too. With food that good, I’d be all for sneaking over to your Mom’s house again. Oof, it’s been a while since I’ve eaten that much in one sitting.”

Finn inhales and lets out a loud belch from deep in his gut. “Ah, satisfying.”

Huntress Wizard giggles. “Nice one! Let me try:” The nymph inhales and releases a frog-like burp into the night.

Both dissolve into a fit of giggles, taking turns burping at each other and high-fiving until they reach the border of Human Town’s province. Finn stops and looks towards the familiar hillocks that will lead him homeward. He turns to Huntress Wizard.

“I guess this is where I head off. I’ll see you later, HW; have a good night.”

“Oh, well, hey, I was actually thinking...” HW rubs the side of her arm, “my place is really far from here, and I tired myself out with the cleansing spell and transformations earlier. Could I, maybe, crash at your place tonight? If that’s okay with you?”

Finn blinks. “Uh, sure…that’d be cool.”

The girl’s eyes light up hopefully. “Really? It wouldn’t bug you?”

“Of course not, Huntress. You’re always welcome at my place.”                                

“Rad! Thanks, Finn; you’re the best. C’mon, I want to see what you did with the place.”

Before Finn can fully reply, he feels the nymph wrap a hand around his own, tugging him impatiently forward. And so, the young hero finds himself swept along, with only Huntress Wizard and the low hanging stars above to guide him home within the thickening, moonless night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter contains an explicit sex scene.
> 
> Feel free to skip if you're not into that sort of thing, though it is important to Finn and Huntress' developing relationship with each other.
> 
> Enjoy!

"…And this is going to be the treasure room." Finn bends down next to a trapdoor in the corner of his log cabin. He lifts it open for Huntress Wizard, revealing a spacious recess stocked with some trinkets and a small mound of gold coins. "I haven't done much dungeoneering since the treehouse got wrecked, so there's only a bit of loot in there. I'll probably have to dig out more room once it really starts to pile up; maybe turn it into a full basement."

"I could help you out with that," HW says, looking down inside. "Believe me, if you start messing with a foundation without knowing what you're doing, you could end up bringing the place down on top of you in your sleep."

"I'll need to hold you to that, then. Oh! And I just remembered:" Finn takes off his pack and rummages around inside it before fishing out the yellow reliquary, "today's prize. I bet someone would dish out some cash for this thingy. Or at least some store credit." He lowers it down gently onto the top of his stash and stands back up. He tips the trapdoor shut with the toe of his shoe.

"But, anyway, that's pretty much the whole place – not much, yet, but I think it has real promise."

"I think so, too. You've really made this place your own in such a short time. It's hard to believe we built it with the others just over a month ago." Huntress Wizard makes a soft sigh at the memory, but then grimaces. She sniffs the air and quickly turns her nose down to her armpit.

"Phew! All that adventuring's got me rank. You mind if I use your shower?"

"Yeah, the boiler should have kicked in. Go ahead. I smell too, so I'll take one after."

Huntress Wizard nods and heads off into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. A few moments later he hears the hiss of hot water hitting the floor of the tub and the shower curtain being drawn. Finn lets out a breath and goes to sit in his favorite chair, right next to his bed.

He can tell that something is up with Huntress Wizard tonight. Finn had accompanied her on a couple of hunting trips before, and if there was one thing he'd learned during them, it was that the forest nymph usually thought nothing of lengthy treks. In fact, on the last hunt he'd helped her with, they had tracked a corrupted dragon-horse halfway into the Ice Kingdom before slaying it, and then promptly returned to her house without so much as a pause.

' _Maybe she's trying to avoid being alone again after hanging out with all of us today_.' Finn muses. He glances briefly over to the bathroom door.

It would explain her insistence on accompanying him everywhere. Still, Huntress Wizard never gave the impression that she was unhappy with her semi-solitary lifestyle. She always seemed to revel in isolation rather than reject it. Whatever the case, though, he would do everything to accommodate his friend without hesitation.

"Hey, HW! Do you want to watch a movie or something after we're cleaned up? I can get the equipment set up!"

A muffled reply comes out from within the bathroom, "Yeah, that sounds great! I'll be out in a minute or two, and I promise I won't use up all the hot water!"

"Cool! But take your time!"

Finn gets up from his chair and moves over to his living room area. BMO had ultimately elected to stay with Jake and Lady since they were connected to the Candy Kingdom's electrical grid, as opposed to the small array of solar panels that Princess Bubblegum had installed into his home. As much as he missed the little robot's companionship, Finn had at least been able to replicate some of the amenities she had provided.

As a housewarming gift, Marceline had provided him an old CRT television, a VCR player, and a videogame station complete with games. They were more finicky than BMO, but they still met most of his entertainment needs. He crouches behind the TV, parsing through the tangle of wires at its base. Finding that the right ones were still plugged in, he turns to his VCR tape collection.

' _Wonder which one she would like…_ ' Finn thinks as he scans the well-worn box titles. He doubts that Huntress Wizard had seen many movies in her life, which left plenty of options open, but nothing specific to go on. Something thematically consistent with her lifestyle might work.  _'I bet Princess Wononoke would speak to a part of her warrior-of-the-woods side._ '

He picks out the tape and sets it atop the player just in time to hear the water from the shower halt and the door click open. "Hey, HW, I think I found us a good mov-aaAAAHH!"

Standing before him is Huntress Wizard, completely nude save for her mask and a towel draped around her shoulder. "Sup?"

"Huntress!" Finn cries as he averts his eyes, blushing furiously. "You're naked!"

Huntress Wizard glances down at her body and shrugs nonchalantly. "Yeah, so? You were naked the first time we ever met in person, dude. You didn't hear me complaining."

"But why?"

"The only pair of clothes I brought with me are marinated in dungeon grime and stale sweat. Unless you want to volunteer some clothes for me, you might as well get used to it."

"Sure! Fine! Take whatever you need from my drawers over there. I'll be in the shower while you get dressed."

Finn bolts blindly into the bathroom, leaving a highly amused Huntress Wizard to rummage through his clothes in privacy. As soon as the latch clicks shut, Finn leans against the door and exhales into the humid room. He hadn't been expecting, of all things, to have that image burnt into his head tonight.

' _Is she trying to be…sexy for me? She's into natchie-living, so maybe she really doesn't care that I see her like that?_ ' Finn shakes his head and moves to the shower. ' _I can't go making snap decisions. I just need to calm down, before I do anything omega-level stupid._ '

Turning the shower on, Finn strips bare and immerses himself completely under the hot sheets of water. He rolls his head around, enjoying the pressure kneading against his tired muscles and the feeling of his golden locks growing heavy over his face and back. A full minute passes while he savors each sensation, then Finn opens his eyes and looks down. The water rolls and bends across his thick torso before diverging into steady streams that course down his arms, penis, and legs. Finn watches in detached contemplation over the cascade pouring across his own body.

' _Cram. I really did just overreact to HW._ '

He had vowed to do anything to make his guest feel at home, but then freaked out the literal next second over something that made her more comfortable. Thinking of it this way, Finn suddenly feels ashamed over his childish behavior. What had he expected her to do, even? Come out wearing the same reeking clothes and then for her to sleep in them? No, he needed a way to make it up to her, and fast.

He takes a bar of soap from the rack and begins to scrub himself. He knows exactly what he needs to do.

Another couple of minutes pass and the water starts to run colder than before, signaling that it was high-time Finn concluded his business. Shutting the water off, he steps out of the shower, and proceeds to dry himself off. He glimpses at his bundle of clothes lying on the floor and blushes. Hopefully, this isn't as terrible a plan as it feels. Nevertheless, he hangs his towel back up, takes a deep breath, and strolls out the door without even putting his hat on. Huntress Wizard is on the couch, now wearing one of his shirts and a pair of white briefs. Being substantially taller and of a different body type than him, both articles fit the girl poorly.

"Hey, HW, sorry about earlier," he announces.

"Ah, forget about it, Finn, I should of-" Huntress Wizard pauses midsentence as her eyes fully meet him. She chuckles and grins. "Well, hello there."

"Yeah, yeah. You surprised me, and I overreacted," Finn can feel his blush deepen. "If letting your bod out makes you feel comfortable, then I want you to do it." He struts over to join her on the couch, "No reservations here!"

"My good, sweet, Finn. Thank you. I know that this took a lot of courage on your part. But, now that I'm wearing this, I kinda like it." She tugs at the blue shirt she's wearing. "I've never worn any non-enchanted clothing before. I can see why it's your go-to; it's comfy as heck."

"O-oh…"

"Being comfortable is a two-way street, y'know? And I'm not about to force you into doing something you're obviously embarrassed with just to appease me. This is your house, so I will abide by your rules – end of discussion. Now, go put on your PJs, naked dude."

"Heheh, okay!"

As Finn walks past her, she giggles and gives him a playful swat on his buns. Finn yelps, and giggles too. He hurries over to his chest of drawers, yanks out his old red union suit, and slips inside it. Having reclaimed his modesty, he returns to Huntress Wizard.

"You still up for a movie?"

"Absolutely. Just one second:" Huntress Wizard makes a gesture with her hand and a small portal opens up next to her. She reaches in and pulls out a large bottle and two glasses, complete with ice. "Care for a drink with your cinematic experience?"

"Oh? You drink, HW?"

"Occasionally, when I'm in a particularly good mood." She uncorks the bottle and decants a few fingers into her glass. "You didn't answer my question, though."

"Um, sure. Give me some of that, uh…good spirit."

Huntress Wizard snickers as she pours her friend a glass and passes it to him. "You don't drink much, do you, Finn?"

"Nah, I do at parties and with Jake, sometimes, but I don't really seek it out or anything."

"That's perfectly fine. If you don't want any more after this one, just let me know." Recorking the bottle, Huntress Wizard sets it on the table and takes a sip from her drink. "So, what're we watching tonight?"

"I think that you're in for a treat." He takes the tape out and passes her the box, "This one's a favorite of mine: Princess Wononoke."

"Oh, it's a cartoon. I've heard most movies had, like, human actors and stuff in them."

"Well, it's animated, but I wouldn't exactly call it a cartoon. Watch and you'll see."

Huntress Wizard nods, sitting attentively. Finn powers on the television and feeds the tape into the VCR with a hearty 'ka-chunk'. He sits back and takes a swallow from his drink, grimacing briefly at the burn it leaves behind in his throat. The screen flickers with scan lines before a grainy FBI warning pops up. A shot of a cityscape over water appears, all its lights switching off until only the name 'Wirawax Films' remains against the dark. Next comes a bright blue background with a sketch of a bizarre, but friendly-looking creature. Alongside it is bold, white text: the one above is in Japanese, the one below is in English and reads 'Studio Jhibli'.

"I don't think I'm seeing the narrative thread here, Finn."

"It hasn't actually started yet, HW."

A mist-filled mountain range fades in, superimposed with Japanese text. Subtitles flash across the screen as the narrator speaks in Japanese: "In ancient times, the land lay covered in forests, where, from ages long past, dwelt the spirits of the gods. Back then, man and beast lived in harmony, but as time went by, most of the great forests were destroyed. Those that remained were guarded by gigantic beasts...who owed their allegiance to the Great Forest Spirit, for those were the days of gods and demons."

"Oooh," Huntress Wizard leans in. "This sounds like it's gonna be good."

 

Roughly half-way in, just after the Great Forrest Spirit has healed Prince Ushitaka's wound, Huntress Wizard is spellbound. Crouching on the edge of the couch, face flush with drink, the nymph watches in awe as Sun chews Prince Ushitaka's food for him, feeding it to him with a kiss.

"Dude, how did humans even make this? Was it drawing magic?"

"I know, right? But, no, humans never had magic. I think they did it all by hand."

"That must have taken years to pull off!"

"And a lot of hard work. But I think it was worth it, for something beautiful like this."

"It really was." Huntress Wizard takes another drink and sidles closer next to Finn.

 

By the movie's end, both Finn and Huntress Wizard are fairly wasted. HW is sobbing openly as the credits roll, while Finn is trying his best to console her.

"Stupid humans! W-why di-did they have to shoot the forest spirit? It was so nice and good!"

Finn takes Huntress into a hug and rubs her back. "It's okay, HW. It didn't for real happen, and even it…'scuse me. If it did, the Forrest Spirit's still alive at the end. Just different."

Huntress Wizard sniffles and hugs back, "Sorry, Finn. I get sentim-sense of mental – no, sentimental when I've been drinking. But thanks for showing me that movie. I loved it! One'a the best stories I've ever seen. I should watch more movies, but I don't have anything to watch them on."

"You can come over here and watch as many movies as you want with me, HW. We can get drunk again and eat snacks."

"You're so nice, Finny. Always so nice, helping people and being a strong hero…a strong hero boy and a girl of the forest, together. Like the movie."

When the pair look up, their eyes lock together. Without warning, Huntress Wizard leans in and plants her lips on Finn's in a deep kiss. The young hero stiffens in surprise, but quickly melts into the embrace. She wraps her arms tightly around him, and he follows, pressing their chests together. The two quickly lose themselves in the impromptu make-out session. When they finally separate, the pair are panting and blushing hotly as they stare at one another.

Huntress Wizard giggles. "Grob, I've been wanting to do that all day."

"Y-yeah…not really sure what to, uh, say…"

"Was it too much? Sorry, it was kinda spur of the moment."

"No! No, no. It was amazing...better than amazing. Just need a sec to re-compose."

Finn grabs his drink and nearly downs it all in a few gulps. He breathes deeply. Past the faint sweetness and soothing heat mingling in his throat, he detects mature notes of honeysuckle and lilac still hanging from his lips. It strikes him that it's the same flavor that he'd held in his heart for over two years now – that taste of vast and untamed forest wilds, beckoning him unto grand, new adventures.

A warm smile slips across his face.

"Better?"

"I think so."

"Good," She lifts back to her feet. "Then how 'bout we continue this sesh on your bed?"

Finn's eyes grow wide. "Are…Are you sure, Huntress?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely." She whips Finn's shirt off over her head, allowing her breasts to sweep into view. The briefs fall to the floor less than a second later. "I need this more than anything in the world right now."

In a daze, Finn follows Huntress Wizard over to his bed. She sits down on the edge of the mattress and looks at him expectantly.

"Well? I'm aching to see that exceptional bod, again."

"Oh! Right. Let me just…" Finn unbuttons his union suit and works his way out of the top until he is standing nude before her once again.

They both take a moment to drink in each other's details.

Finn's eyes trail over the nymph's slight and perky breasts, capped with beautiful dark green nipples that match her hair color. He finds that they complement her agile physique perfectly. Every inch of her, in fact – from her shoulders, down to her thighs – is lean and wiry from a lifetime of hard, ascetic subsistence. She also sports an assortment of scars across her chest, legs, and arms – vestiges of past hunts.

Likewise, Huntress Wizard's gaze roams hungrily across Finn's broad chest. The human is equal parts muscle and fat, lending his body an ostensibly (yet adorably) soft look which she knows belies the immense strength at its core. His arm, shoulders, and legs are similarly packed with the exquisite musculature of a true champion born. Eventually, though, her attention settles on an explicit point between his legs – Finn's dick. In many ways, it resembles its owner: thick, a tad on the short side (though, with plenty of room left to grow), blond, and blunt looking. For now, it was only half-erect, but she knows of a quick fix to that problem.

"C'mere," she motions to him. "Give me a hug, Finn."

Finn complies almost instinctively and embraces her warmly. He inhales deeply, taking in her floral bouquet.

"Gotcha!" She exclaims, coiling her arms around his waist.

"Wha?"

Huntress Wizard spins around and pins Finn on his back against the mattress. Looking up, Finn sees the nymph leering over him, like a lioness about to sink her teeth into a fresh kill. It sends shivers up his spine.

"Uh, easy there, Huntress, I-"

The words die in Finn's mouth with a long, euphoric moan the second he feels her tongue run up the length of his shaft. Hearing the boy's reaction, Huntress Wizard smiles to herself and continues lavishing his plumping member with affectionate licks and tender kisses. Finn becomes fully hard in an instant, which HW uses to segue into a full-on blowjob. She wraps her lips tightly around the tip of his cock, and lets it glide slickly across her tongue and into her mouth.

Finn grits his teeth to keep from shouting too loud. "Huntress! Glob! That feels flippin' crazy, math good!"

Huntress grins, giving a small hum of appreciation and a few extra suckles. As she sinks further down, she makes sure to move her tongue in steady rotations around his head. Finn's hands clasp around her antlers, eagerly pulling her the rest of the way to the base. She doesn't fight it. Instead, she stays with her nose pressed up against his lap for a few moments to savor the feeling of a full throat and his youthful, musky scent. Then, gradually, Huntress Wizard starts to bob her head up and down, growing faster and faster with each pass until Finn is groaning unabashedly from above. Her hands caress over his thighs and hips before reaching around to squeeze his tight butt. At the sign of his first twitch, she quickly pulls off with a satisfying 'pop' from her lips.

"HW!" Finn whines. "Why'd you stop?"

She giggles, gives his cock an agonizingly light kiss on its head, and a teasing flick. "Cuz, now, it's your turn to rev me up, champ. I'm practically giving your floor a fresh wax coating back here."

Finn laughs at the euphemism and Huntress Wizard climbs up onto the bed. She lies back against the headboard and brings her knees up above her shoulders. While undoubtedly sexy, what surprises Finn is just how genuinely pretty he finds his new lover's privates. Her butt cheeks are perfectly round and toned, with just a hint of jiggle to them as she settles into her spot before him. Her labia are a slightly darker shade of green than her butt, yet they are flush with the same cute pink as her face. On her mons, directly above, sits a lightly manicured patch of maidenhair vines. For Finn, the sum effect resembles a spring rose peaking gently from a bush.

"You just gonna stare or dig in?" Huntress Wizard teases, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Uh, I'll try…I gotta admit, though, I don't exactly know how."

"Hey, I've never gone down on anyone before, but you seemed to like what I did just fine. Go nuts with those lips and tongue of yours, and I'll let you know how you're doing. Deal?"

With a nod, Finn leans in close and takes another lungful of her scent. He then nuzzles the smooth inside of her thigh with his cheek and plants a loving kiss right on her lower lips.

Huntress Wizard gasps and lets out a little snicker.

"Was that good or bad?"

"Good and  _very_  adorable, Finn, but I'm not delicate. Keep it up and don't be afraid to get rough."

"If you say so."

Throwing caution to the wind, Finn dives face first into HW's honeypot. He licks, sucks, and nibbles at everything within reach. Over the next several minutes (and with Huntress' occasional direction), he gradually pars his focus down to a few of her favorite sweet spots. Now, slowly circling his lover's clit with the tip of his tongue and two fingers deep inside her, he feels Huntress Wizard's thighs tighten around his head.

"Okay!" She half-groans, putting her palm on his forehead, "That's really, really good, Finn. I'm nice and warmed up. Let's get to the main event already."

Finn licks some of her nectar from the corner of his mouth and rises to a crouching position. "I'll ask you again, Huntress Wizard. Do you want me to do this? You're not too drunk or anything, are you?"

"Finn, my sweet, gorgeous dummy: you ram your cock straight up my snatch right now, or I will turn your robo-arm into a birch tree, carve out a dildo, and cum my brains out on it instead of you!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Finn declares as he crawls up on top of her. With his hands wrapped around Huntress Wizard's knees, Finn lines himself up as best he can and humps forward. He misses by a hair's breadth, though, and his length slides wetly across her vulva.

Huntress Wizard hisses in a mix of pleasure and frustration. "Do it!"

Quickly, Finn realigns himself and thrusts forward once again, this time catching his head against her opening. With one final push, he feels himself plunge straight into Huntress Wizard, all the way to the base. Both lovers exhale harshly, as though the wind has been stolen from their lungs. After a moment of panting, though, the two acclimate to the new sensations enveloping them.

"Mmm, nice and snug, huh?" Huntress Wizard says, wiggling her hips. She reaches up and cards her fingers through Finn's hair as it pools in blond curtains down around her.

"Y-yeah,  _really_  snug," Finn smiles over a grimace of concentration. "And hot."

"You've got a toasty heat coming off you as well, stud. Now, gimme another kiss and rut me deep into these covers."

"Glad- **LY**!"

Finn eases his hips backward and plows forward in one swift motion. On the down-thrust, he brings his lips into another passionate kiss with Huntress Wizard. She moans into Finn's mouth as their tongues entwine, all while his cock continues to drive in and out of Huntress Wizard with carefully measured thrusts. The nymph grasps Finn's real hand by the wrist and brings it over to her right breast.

She gives a small suck to tip of his tongue as they separate for a gasp of air. Their lips are still connected by a thin strand of shared saliva as she looks up at him. "Be sure to play with my tits, too."

Obliging his mistress, Finn gives the offered breast a firm grope while rolling the nipple between his calloused fingers. He then leans his head over and captures her left nipple between his lips.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Huntress Wizard bites her lip as she feels Finn suckling. "Keep it going!"

As Finn continues his ministrations over the course of several minutes, a mischievous idea enters his head. He grabs both of HW's boobs and gives them both a thorough fondle before releasing them and leaning a bit further back from her. She gives him a questioning look. He grins smugly at her, then speaks into the microphone on his bionic arm.

"Arm: electric toothbrush mode."

At his command, a small brush emerges from the tip of one of his metal fingers and a sharp buzz fills the air. Huntress Wizard's eyes widen with dawning horror at her lover's intention.

"D-don't you even dare."

Finn ignores the warning. He lowers the whirring bristles directly above the juncture between his dick and Huntress' swollen love button. "You said that you wanted to cum your brains out on my arm, didn't you?"

"I  **will**  get you for this."

"I know," Finn replies serenely and presses the brush all the way down.

Huntress Wizard wails like a screech owl upon contact, raw pleasure running a live current across her entire body. Her legs lock against Finn's waist, her back arches, and her hands fly up to cover her face. "OH  **GLOOOOOOOB**! CUUUMMMING!"

She didn't have to tell Finn twice. He can feel her walls rippling tightly across his cock, as well as the wet splash of cum that drenches the front of his lap. Deciding to add a bit more fuel to the fire, Finn starts to piston relentlessly inside of her.

"AHHH!" Huntress Wizard gnashes her teeth, "P-PL-EEEASE, FINN! I'M BEGGING YOU!"

Since she wasn't asking him to stop (and could easily move away or overpower him, if she so desired), Finn carries on over her cries, indulging in the nymph's warm, gripping depths. His erratic, rapid-fire thrusts take their toll on him, though, and he feels his tipping point rapidly approaching. He grunts.

"I'm close, Huntress. Where do yo-"

"INSIDE! AH! DO IT INSIDE, FOR THE LOVE OF GLOB, YOU BEAUTIFUL BOY!"

"Coming. Right. UP!"

The instant Finn flares, Huntress Wizard brings both arms around the back of Finn's neck and pulls him down forcefully into another sloppy kiss. Finn follows suit, finally disengaging the brush and hugging hard around Huntress Wizard. He shudders and lets out a guttural groan as his climax hits, erupting from his tip harder than he'd ever felt before. Huntress Wizard moans, too, as she feels his hot, thick ropes of cum filling up her core to the brim and beyond.

They stay locked in mutual states of post-coital bliss for a time, gently humping and kissing against one another until only the faint echoes of ecstasy remain. At length, Finn extracts himself slowly and sits back onto his haunches to inspect his handiwork. Huntress Wizard, to put it bluntly, is a satiated mess. She stares blankly up into the rafters, a giddy, nearly delirious grin on her lips as she lies there, limbs strewn out wantonly across the bed. His seed seeps out steadily from her well-used pussy, oozing thickly onto the comforter below.

"Holy schmow," Finn says, scarcely believing he wasn't dreaming the scene before him.

The sound of his voice seems to pull Huntress Wizard out of her daze. Recomposing herself, she props herself back up onto her elbows.

"Now  _ **that**_  is what I'd call a good first time."

Finn chuckles. "Glad you enjoyed it. I know I did."

"Yeah, I got the message after you finished hosing my insides down." She pats her stomach. "Oof. I'm feeling full again."

The room goes quiet for a bit as Huntress Wizard idly examines the cum flowing from her crotch. Finn rocks forward onto his hands and knees.

"Hey, I know this might sound lame, but can we…uh, can we cuddle some more, Huntress? I kinda feel like I want to be held right now. But it's also cool if you want some space. I could go sleep on the couch, if you'd like."

Huntress Wizard giggles and opens her arms up, "I'm not letting you go anywhere, dweeb. Bring it in again."

The young adventurer crawls graciously back into his lover's grasp, sharing another kiss with her as they slip underneath the covers together. She tangles her legs around his and caresses his cheek.

"I'm still going to punish you for that toothbrush stunt. First thing tomorrow, believe me."

Finn yawns and nuzzles into Huntress Wizard's chest, listening to her heart beat strong and steady. "I'll take it. I'll take anything that you give me, HW."

* * *

 

"I'm back!" Huntress Wizard calls cheerfully. She walks in through the front door with a rabbit carcass slung over her shoulder. "And I scored us some breakfast!"

"Mppph! Mph! MFFFF!"

"Still haven't gotten out of bed, have we, my sweet Finn? Tsk, tsk, such lazybones."

"MFFFF!"

Strolling into the kitchen area, Huntress Wizard sets her kill down on the tabletop, and takes out a small knife from the side of her boot. She sits down and begins to skin it. After making an incision at the base of its neck, she glances towards Finn. The champion of Ooo is cocooned inside a thick tangle of vines, lashing him to his bed. Only his eyes and nose are still visible, peaking through a small opening at his face. She smirks at the pleading look he gives her.

"Not a fan of your new poison ivy sleeping bag, huh?" She comments while cleaning the blood from her knife. Her voice drips with sarcasm. "Can't say that I blame you. Poor thing, it must be awful: lying there, unable to scratch yourself, or even move. But, then again, you did say you'd handle  _any_ punishment I could dole out, so I knew I just had to answer that challenge."

" **MFFFFF!** "

Huntress Wizard yanks hard on the bunny's pelt and rips it off in a single deft motion. Picking her knife back up, she sets to cleaning and butchering the rest of the body.

"Don't worry, I'll let you out soon. I also have a spell that instantly cures poison ivy. Hopefully, you've learned an important lesson about taking me and any threat that I make seriously."

"Mmhmm."

As she works, Huntress Wizard hums a tune and makes a few gestures with her hand. Frying and sauté pans float out of Finn's pantry and land on top of the stove. The burners below click on, followed by two cuts of butter drifting over and plopping down in their centers.

Finn watches silently from his torture station. HW had bound him sometime before he'd woken up, so the rash covered nearly his entire body at this point. It took every trick he knew about mentally blocking out discomfort just to keep himself from screaming his throat raw over the unbearable itchiness coursing through his skin. Even so, he wasn't angry at Huntress Wizard over his situation. He'd knowingly leapt into his own grave the second those bristles had touched down, and now there was nothing left to do but lie in it until he was forgiven. Finn merely hopes that forgiveness comes before he needs to go to the bathroom.

The crackle of cooking meat pulls Finn back from his thoughts. Though, at the moment, it feels like it's his flesh sitting on the stove instead.

"Hey, Finn, I call dibs on the heart, but do you want your share of the liver and kidneys? Blink twice if yes, once if no."

Finn rolls his eyes and blinks once.

"Great! More for me, then."

A few more minutes pass before Huntress Wizard switches off the stove. She summons some tableware to the table and dishes out their meals.

"Okay, breakfast is ready, and your punishment is rescinded, Finn. Enjoy the delicious salve of freedom." She points and a beam of yellow light hits him in the chest. The vines wither away around him and the itching stops completely. Finn lets out a long, thankful sigh of relief and sits up. He's still naked from the night before; but, ultimately, his desire for food wins out against preserving his long-since-discarded sense of modesty.

He walks up and takes his seat at the table next to Huntress Wizard, who is already devouring her rabbit's heart. She chews at the tough piece of muscle, then leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"Despite getting a tad too big for your britches towards the end, I realize I never properly thanked you for an amazing time last night. So, thanks, Finn."

Finn stabs a fork into his rabbit. "You're welcome, Huntress. And poison ivy aside…I'm really glad it was with you."

"Me too. Want some coffee?"

"Please."

Huntress Wizard places her palms flat across the rims of two nearby mugs. There is a flash of yellow light and when she lifts her hands, the two cups are sitting full of piping hot java.

"Here we are," She says, levitating one to Finn.

The pair sit in a comfortable silence together, eating and sipping at their coffees.

"So…" Finn speaks up, "are we, like, a thing now?"

"We've always been a bit of a thing, Finn. But, now, you're wondering if this means we're a legitimate couple."

"Yeah."

She chews for a bit, thinking, then shrugs. "Sure, why not? We can try it out, see where it goes. If it goes."

Finn stops eating and looks incredulously at HW. "Just like that? What happened to fear of softness?"

"Oh, I'm still afraid of going soft, believe me. I've thought about it a lot over the last two years, though, and I think I've gained some perspective on things."

"Like what?"

"Well…for the longest time, I held a warped idea of what it meant to find love and happiness. For me, they represented end goals; rewards to reap only after the long hunt for self-actualization. I was so focused on mastering my hunting skills and magic to meet that aspiration, though, that they eventually became all that I am. I reasoned that, if I were ever to reach my goals, it would mark the end of the hunt, as well as my role as Huntress Wizard."

She pauses, taking a drink from her mug. "I feared that, like Betty, my identity would completely unravel once I became tethered to a lover or submissive to my desire for 'happiness'. It terrified me to think that the temptations and hidden hooks these things harbored might, one day, turn me into a broken shadow of myself. My line of thinking changed after we defeated Golb, though."

"Why?"

"Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, for one. They let their feelings blossom, but they're still two of the most important and powerful figures in Ooo. Finding love didn't slow them down at all; it's made them even stronger, if anything. Then Betty, herself – she used her love for Simon to metamorphose into the most powerful being in all the multiverse and save Ooo from annihilation. Those three made me realize that love and happiness shouldn't be held as the end-all objectives of life. I've come to see them more as boons: reciprocal sources of strength and comfort that aid us in our pursuits, so long as we remain open to them."

She looks to Finn. "Am I making sense with any of this? Sometimes I'm not sure if it's me talking or the magical madness."

"I think you're right, HW, and I'm really proud that you managed to move past that block on your own."

Huntress Wizard grins. "Better late than never, I guess. Anyhow, now that we're girlfriend and boyfriend, how about we go on our first official date today? Unless you already have other plans?"

"Oh…no, I wasn't planning on doing much today. We can go out if you want."

"Cool. Where do you suggest we go, then? I haven't got a clue what people actually do on dates."

Finn scratches his head. It had been a while since his last date, and he did not want to repeat any of the mistakes he made with Flame Princess. He knows he needs to be slow and careful with this. "How about we go on a walk to the Candy Kingdom and hock that jar thing we found? We can look around at some shops and then stop for lunch after."

Huntress Wizard downs the rest of her coffee and considers his suggestion. "Uh, yeah, that sounds like a date to me. I'll go get ready. You," she pokes him in the belly as she gets up, "should probably put some clothes on, dude."

Nodding, Finn scoops a few more morsels of rabbit meat into his mouth as Huntress makes for the bathroom. He washes them down with what remains of his coffee and heads back over to his dresser.

' _Second try,'_  He thinks, grabbing some fresh underwear from one of the drawers.  _'Don't blow it.'_


	5. Chapter 5

It was a nice hike out from Finn's house. Although a bit overcast across the horizon, the day was still pleasantly crisp and breezy for the time being. Entering through the Kingdom's main gates, Finn and Huntress Wizard discover that many of its denizens also appear eager to take advantage of the clear morning weather. The streets are bustling with a bevy of candy people, people from other parts of Ooo, carriages, and the odd car, all coursing to-and-fro in a rush to clock in at jobs, reach appointments, or run errands. The pair trace their way through the sugary hubbub, following one of the city's toffee walkways into the main market plaza. While still crowded, the marketplace is marginally less hectic than the exterior streets as patrons sift idly through wares or wait about in checkout lines.

"Okay, there should be an artifact dealer somewhere around here. You want to come along, HW, or look around on your own?"

"I…" Her eyes dart about the crush of people surrounding them. She steps closer to Finn's side. "I'd rather stay with you. And hold hands."

"Oh, alright."

Finn laces his fingers through Huntress Wizard's and the two proceed past various stalls and storefronts until they catch sight of an open booth near the center. Its shelves are packed with peculiar odds and ends, with a sign overhead that reads 'Copious Curios for the Curious Customer'. A distinguished, elderly sour-apple gummi gentleman in a fine-looking silk suit is minding the storefront. His bored expression perks up at their approach.

"Welcome, young sir and madame. I'm Old Mister Casbourn Apple-Sours – Old Mister Sours, for short. Would either of you be interested in my fine array of archaic artifacts?"

"We're actually looking to sell, Old Mister Sours." Finn says, reaching into his pack and pulling out the reliquary. He places it on the counter. "What would you give us for this thing?"

Old Mister Sours pulls a loupe out of his breast pocket and puts it up to his eye as he leans in close to it. A frown forms beneath his white icing beard as he makes his assessment.

"A reliquary – and an odd one at that. Where did you find this object, if you don't mind me asking?"

"We found it inside a dungeon. It was in a shrine surrounded by druid skeletons."

The old man opens the container, glancing down inside it before closing it again. "Interesting. I can safely say that I've never seen anything quite like this item before." He drums his fingers on the tabletop and lifts out a pouch of coins. "I'll give you 500 gold for it."

Blinking in surprise, Finn grins and rushes to shake the merchant's hand. Huntress Wizard catches him by the wrist, however.

"You need to work on your bartering skills, Finn." She turns to Old Mister Sours. "If it's so unique, we'll take 600 for it."

Old Mister Sours glares at her and drops a few more coins into the bag. "520."

"Pfft. 550 or we walk and use this thing as a novelty flower vase."

"Fine. You drive a hard bargain, young lady." The old man huffs as he adds another small handful of coins to the bag and passes it forward. "550 gold it is."

"You got a deal, Old Mister Sours." Finn reaches out and shakes his hand.

Huntress collects the bag, bouncing it in her palm to feel its heft. "Nice."

Their transaction complete, the couple make their leave of the stall and the old gummi man carefully stowing away his prize.

"So, you feel like blowing some of this dosh?" Huntress Wizard asks.

"Heh, alright. The fletcher's tent is nearby; we can go see if it has any arrows you could use."

"I usually craft my own from magic, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to look. I'm not using anything made from candy, though. Sweet scents would only alert my prey to my presence."

They approach the corner of the market filled with weapon and equipment stalls. Throngs of heavily armed warriors, mercenaries, and adventurers mill about the area, their armor creaking and clanking amid the constant bang of hammers issuing from the adjoining sword and armor smiths. The fletcher's booth is comparatively peaceful, yet also congested with its own host of rangers, archers, and arbalests all browsing or waiting on repairs.

Finn slides in amongst the aisles of archery gear set out in front. He never really used bows or arrows, but a lifetime of scavenging and looting tombs gave him an eye for finely crafted weapons regardless of his class skill. Looking to his side, he notices that Huntress Wizard isn't joining him. She's still standing awkwardly off to the side with her arms folded across her chest.

"What's the matter, HW?"

"I'm," She sighs and shifts nervously on the balls of her feet. "I'm not great being near so many people at once. Especially strangers with weapons."

"Oh! I'm sorry, Huntress," Finn apologizes, quickly returning to her side. "We can go if you're uncomfortable."

"No," Huntress Wizard shakes her head. "I want to look around with you. But I'd feel better if we, you know…kept holding hands."

Delighted, Finn curves his arm around Huntress Wizard's and takes her hand in his. He snuggles into her side. Huntress Wizard hums happily and the two go down the aisles together, stopping every so often as an arrow or bow catches their interest.

After perusing the wares for a while, Huntress Wizard eventually decides on purchasing a bundle of flat-barbed, obsidian arrows, for which Finn practices a bit of his haggling. They are just crossing over so Finn can look at the selection of swords when a group of large, armored warriors confronts them. The biggest one steps forward to further block their path, a large axe resting across his shoulder.

"Well, look at this, boys: some quivering, lil' arrow-head thinks she can just breeze into where  **real**  warriors get their  **real**  weapons of battle."

Finn takes a protective posture in front of his girlfriend. "Dude, we're just looking in here because  _I_  might want to buy something. Now, shove off."

"Or what? She'll run away and shoot at us when she's safe?" He lifts his visor and spits on the ground. "All you long-range types make me sick. You sit all cozy in the back of the fight, slinging your arrows while us honest melee folk spill our blood to cover your delicate little hides. Cowards, the lot of ya!"

"C'mon, Huntress Wizard, we can skip the sword section. Let's just get out of here."

As Finn turns to leave, the warrior grabs him by the shoulder. "Ooh, now, hold on, boy. You say she's an archer  **and** a wizard, too?" The warrior scoffs. "Why, I didn't realize that we were all standing in the presence of royalty, lads. None other than the queen of all cowards, herself! Ain't ya, you weedy tranch?"

"I said  **BACK OFF**!" Finn shouts and lands a sharp elbow into the boorish warrior's stomach. As the warrior doubles over, Finn takes his opponent's wrist and then throws him bodily over his shoulder. The warrior's armor and axe clatter loudly against the ground, causing all the other shoppers to turn and stare.

Huntress Wizard casts a nervous glance back at the horde of strangers, all armed and armored, now scrutinizing them. They slowly move in, forming a tight ring around the scene. She feels like she's having trouble breathing.

She pants. "Finn…"

The warrior coughs raggedly, shuffles back to his feet, and grabs his axe. He whirls furiously on Finn. "You made a right bloody mistake there, kid! No one does tosses me like a groddang salad. Take 'em both, lads!"

The warrior and two of his crew charge Finn, while another three advance on Huntress Wizard. Ducking underneath their attacks, Finn leaps nimbly out of reach and draws his sword.

"F-Finn…" Huntress Wizard is still rooted to her spot, even as her attackers rush forward with spears and poleaxes drawn. Her head is screaming at her to run away – to slip back into the forest, and escape. But she can't.

Finn can't hear Huntress Wizard, though, busy as he is deflecting and dodging the blows aimed against him. While nowhere near his league, they are still somewhat proficient at their sword and axe play. Also, the shouting – the warriors are shouting a lot with each swing.

Huntress Wizard gasps and clutches her head. " **FINN!** "

The cry is loud enough to make every combatant pause and focus on the wood nymph. Even her own attackers, now no less than a few feet away, stop in their tracks. They look at her warily, weapons at the ready.

Finn looks uncertainly at his girlfriend. "Huntress?"

Her eyes flash open, slit pupils dilating as they fall upon the three men in front of her. She breaths heavily and bares her teeth at them. "All of you: Just. Leave. Me.  **ALONE!**   **GRAAAAAH!** "

With a scream, she rips open the tie on her bundle of obsidian arrows and grabs one in each hand while the rest spill to the ground. Then, like a feral animal, Huntress Wizard hurls herself forward, tackling one of the warriors. On top of him, Huntress Wizard ferociously slams the harpoon-like tip down past one of the slots on her victim's visor. There's a sickening gush.

"MY  **EEEEYE!** " The warrior wails, before dissolving into incoherent screams as Huntress Wizard yanks the arrow back out.

The two remaining warriors are so shocked at the sudden brutality of her attack, that they drop their weapons and turn to flee. Huntress Wizard is faster, though. With a burst of levitation magic, she fires her other arrow straight through one of the men's kneecaps, dropping him instantly in a shriek of pain. The arrow redirects as it passes through, and slices right into the back of the last warrior's ankle, severing his calcaneal tendon with surgical precision.

Slowly, she rises from the warriors passed out before her and turns a death glare to the head warrior and his two cronies.

They drop their weapons. The head warrior takes a step forward with his hands held up. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey, let's just calm-AHHHHH!"

Two arrows impale the big man's shoulder and hand before he can even finish.

"GROD! YOU TRANCH!"

"Try wielding a  **real**  weapon after this, little man," Huntress Wizard spits back, continuing her advance with savage intent.

The three warriors break into a sprint past the crowd of astonished onlookers. Before Huntress Wizard can give chase, however, Finn runs up and catches her by the wrist.

"Huntress! It's over. Just let them go."

The feral look in Huntress Wizard's gaze washes away at the sound of his voice. She blinks and rubs her eyes, as if waking up from a bad dream. "Finn? I don't…oh Glob, I let it in again. I'm so sorry."

"C'mon," Finn gently clasps her hand and leads her away from the market. "Let's get out of here before the banana guards finally decide to show up."

They cut easily through the crowd, the fearful onlookers offering a wide berth to the once bloodthirsty nymph in their midst. Finn makes a beeline for a section of deserted alleyways at the rear of some nearby buildings, pulling Huntress Wizard along until they are well beyond the market square proper.

"Okay," He says, bringing them to a stop after several twists and turns. "This should be far enough."

Finn turns to her and promptly takes both of her hands in his. He holds them close to his chest. "HW, listen to me: you don't have to explain anything, but I want you to know that you can trust me if you feel like opening up about it. I swear on my honor as a hero that I will  **not**  reject, abandon, or hate you, whatever it is. I want that to be clear."

Huntress Wizard nods. "I can see that, Finn." She sighs and sits down against the alley wall. "But you deserve an explanation, now that we're together. Sit next to me and I'll try to describe it to you."

He does as he's prompted and listens intently.

"First, imagine an egg."

"Okay."

"Now, secondly, inside the egg, instead of albumen and the vitellus-"

"The what?"

Huntress Wizard huffs. "Instead of the white and yolk, the inside is filled with a dye. The shell of the egg in this context represents your will power and the dye represents your inner essence. When you use magic, you surrender yourself as a conduit to whatever power you call upon. Think of that force – the entirety of nature, in my case – as a vast and bottomless ocean. Essentially, as a magic user, you are the egg, and submerging yourself in that ocean is how you draw upon its power. The deeper you go, the more powerful your spells are. You follow me, so far?"

"Yeah," Finn replies. "I think I get it."

"The ocean of magical power is immense and dangerous, though. If it gets past your shell, it'll start to dilute the dye inside, replacing you with itself. Anything that strains or fractures your will – stress, trauma, anxiety – creates an opening for the ocean to slip in. If the crack gets big enough, it'll split you wide open and diffuse your essence back out into to the formless tides."

She pauses, taking a deep breath. "When the wilds get down inside my head, they make me act on pure, animal instinct. That's what you saw back there. Crowded places, people closing in on me with their weapons…it was just enough to let it in for a little bit."

"Does this happen often?"

"No," Huntress Wizard shakes her head emphatically. "Only a few times before. I meditate to keep my anxieties under control, but yesterday was so exciting and fun, I thought that I'd be okay without it for once. I was wrong and I'm so s-sorry."

A tear starts to roll past her cheekbone and she quickly, almost angrily, wipes it away. Finn shifts closer to her and drapes an arm around her. He isn't sure whether Huntress Wizard even wants to be touched right now, but he chances it, keeping the contact as gentle and open as possible just in case. She makes no attempt to shrug him away.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Huntress," He soothes. "Those guys attacked us. You were acting in self-defense. Heck, we could've wasted them all and still have been fine according to Candy Kingdom law."

"I got lucky. That arrow I sent flying through that guy's kneecap? If I hadn't used it on his friend next to him, it could've gone straight into one of the people watching. I bet you wouldn't be so eager to comfort me, then."

"Yes, I would because it still wouldn't have been your fault. Even then, I was the one that turned it into a brawl. My priority should've been to get you out of there, not to throw down with some loudmouth."

Huntress Wizard rolls her eyes. "Finn, it's sweet that you're trying to shift the blame from me, but I'm not a fool. I lost control and hurt people far worse than what they deserved. You can't just walk that back."

"Okay then," Finn sighs. "What do you want to do about it? Are you going to turn yourself in to the banana guards or something?"

"Hardly. I need to meditate and plan on a way to tackle my anxieties, so this doesn't happen again."

She folds her legs into a lotus pose and closes her eyes.

Finn pulls his arm off her. "Oh, like, right here?"

"I don't see why not. We could stand to lay low for a little while longer before showing our faces again." Huntress Wizard opens one eye to look at him. "You're welcome to join me."

"Uh, sure, but I don't really know how to meditate."

"I can teach you, if you'd like."

"Will this be like yoga? PB tried to teach me yoga once, and I wound up pulling a hamstring."

"Nah, this is much simpler: just watch me and do as I instruct. First, move around and sit in front of me."

Finn scooches around on the rough ground until he's directly across from Huntress Wizard. He tries to imitate her pose, but stalls as his legs refuse to bend into the correct angles.

"You don't need to take my exact posture for this, Finn. This is about relaxation and contemplation, not form."

Nodding, Finn settles for a basic cross-legged position and awaits further instructions from his impromptu mentor.

"Good. Close your eyes."

"But you told me to watch you."

The wood nymph snorts in amusement, "Just do it, ya dork."

Finn shuts his eyes, happy to have gotten a small laugh from her. "Okay, they're closed."

"Now, just breathe naturally – in and out. As you breathe, find your center and focus it on how your body moves with each inhalation and exhalation."

The young hero does as his girlfriend commands, taking even breaths as he continues to listen to her voice.

"Notice the rise and fall of each part of you: your chest, your shoulders, your ribs, and stomach. Simply focus your attention on your breath without trying to control its pace or intensity. Then, let your thoughts flow freely through your mind."

Fin breaths. He feels out the path that each breath takes through his body, focusing in on the faint push of his lungs out against his chest and spine, the contractions of his diaphragm, and the way the air moves down his throat. Again and again. It's comforting, like the way he and Jake pretended to cut each other's hair out in the clouds. Sinking further into his state of relaxation, memories from the elemental biz float to the forefront of his thoughts.

He imagines that, for Huntress Wizard, losing herself to the wilds would not feel too dissimilar to what he experienced as Fire Finn. It had been terrifying: all the white-hot rage he kept locked inside, finally blazing up to burn him from the inside out. He'd watched helplessly as he fought with killing intent against the very people he'd tried his hardest to protect: Flame Princess, LSP, the candy people, Princess Bubblegum. If he had hurt them – killed them, even – before LSP stepped in, he doubted he could have lived with himself afterwards, regardless of whether it was his fault. From the way Huntress Wizard spoke, he was certain that she shared that sentiment with him. She was going to need his support more than ever, then. Left on her own, she could end up in a very bad place while holding to that belief.

The pair stay in their positions, simply breathing, for what feels like hours. Finally, Finn opens his eyes and finds Huntress Wizard looking back at him curiously.

"How do you feel?"

Finn blinks. "Good, actually. But how about you? Did you figure anything out?"

"I think immersion therapy, combined with more meditation sessions, is my best option right now. If I'm going to be with you, I know I'll encounter way more people than I've ever been comfortable dealing with while living as a recluse. To kick my anxieties around people, I'll have to force myself into as many social situations as I can stand."

She locks eyes with Finn. "I might need your help, too."

"I'll help with anything you need, HW – just name it."

"I'd really appreciate it if you could be with me whenever I'm trying to be around more people. Just so I can have some extra reassurance, especially when I'm starting out."

Finn reaches out and takes her hand. "I'd love to."

Smiling, Huntress Wizard squeezes back. "Thanks, Finn."

He reciprocates the gesture and stands back up, helping Huntress Wizard to her feet along with him. "How long were we meditating?"

"About an hour or so."

"You feeling hungry? We can go grab something to eat. Maybe try just a little immersion, if you feel up to it."

"…Yeah, okay. But we'll have to go somewhere out of the way."

"I might have a place in mind."

* * *

Keeping mainly to the back alleys, Finn leads his girlfriend into one of the seedier districts of The Candy Kingdom. In all the times she'd visited, Huntress Wizard had never strayed too far from the city's central commerce areas. She could see now that the outer fringes were a far cry from the cloyingly sweet smells and saturated colors that she typically associated with the candy people. Passing by overcrowded candy apartments and pothole riddled street corners, everything around them looked dingy and derelict in comparison. Clearly, the candy people here did not receive the same housing and infrastructural maintenance that benefited the subjects closer to the castle.

Still, Huntress Wizard lived in the woods, slept in dirt, and ate raw meat on the regular, so she wasn't about to turn her nose up at anyone else's living conditions. Mostly, it just surprised her that such conditions would escape the attention of noted perfectionist and control freak, Princess Bubblegum.

"I usually come down this way when I don't want to be bugged by any of my fans. Most of the candy people over here don't care about stuff that's going on in the rest of the kingdom; or they're laying low from the law. Which is kinda what we're doing…so, I guess we'll be in good company?"

"Are you sure, Finn? It seems like it would be even easier to get into a fight around here than the market."

"It'll be fine. If anything looks like it's about to head south, I promise no fighting. We'll just peel out as soon as we can."

Finn stops before a tavern. The sign above the double doors reads 'Black Licorice Bill's'.

"This is it," he says, holding the door open for Huntress Wizard. "After you."

The nymph nods her thanks and heads inside. The place is a typical saloon dive: a bar, booths, tables, wooden faux-ranch décor. It's grimy, but in a lived-in sort of way. Some barflies perch around the main counter, heads in their drinks, while a few more customers are busy with their lunches.

As Finn follows in behind her, the bartender calls to them. "Sit where y'all want, an' we'll be with ya in a minute."

They take their seats at one of the booths near the front.

"Are you still feeling okay, HW? No leftover anxieties hanging around in your head or anything?"

"No, I'm fine on that front, Finn. I'll admit that I'm mortified over throwing our first date off the rails so hard. This must be the worst date you've ever been on."

"Oh no, I've been on some  _really_  bad dates before. This isn't even in the top seven, I promise."

"Really?"

"I once tried to have a spaghetti dinner date with Princess Bubblegum to keep a forest witch from eating Jake with her butt."

"HA!" Huntress Wizard quickly covers her mouth with both hands to keep the rest of her cackling fit from spilling out. She leans down against the tabletop, shaking with silent laughter.

Happy to help lighten the mood, Finn spends the next few minutes regaling his girlfriend with tales of his most heinous dates and disastrous courting flubs. "…And so, I drag Flame Princess along for a dungeon crawl. She's never done one before, and it's so obvious that she's bored out of her skull, but I'm being such a dink that I keep telling her how to do stuff and making everything as tedious as possible. At one point, she even fell asleep while I was off looking for a stupid key!"

"Dude, I can  _feel_  the secondhand embarrassment wafting off of your memories."

Finn chuckles. "It was a mess, but I learned from it. Or, at least, I hope I did."

"I've never really had any dating mistakes to learn from, so I'll be looking at you for direction in that area, Finn. Though, I guess I've already started on making my own."

"That's natchie, HW. Dating someone is always messy at the beginning. It takes a lot of trying stuff out before two people can figure out if they mesh with each other."

Before they can delve any further into the matter, an old, salt-water taffy waitress finally makes an appearance at the side of their table. She confronts them with a peevish scowl befitting any weathered veteran of the service industry.

"What y'all want? We got schlop, blork, bean scrits over-easy, and chef's special. Tha's it."

Finn grimaces at the course names. "What's the chef's special?"

"Schlop and blork mixed together."

Huntress Wizard shrugs. "I'll have the blork and some water."

"Uh, yeah, same here, I guess."

The waitress grunts and heads off toward the bar to deliver their order without another word.

"You seemed surprised by the menu. I thought you ate here before."

"Well, not exactly…but Jake comes here with Lady Rainicorn. He always said it was good."

"Jake, your brother, who you once told me ate a sack of erasers thinking they were candy without questioning their taste. That Jake?"

"Oh, yeah. Right. But who knows? Names can be deceiving. Blork might taste way better than it sounds."

She gives him a deadpan look.

"Slaps, you're right," Finn concedes, burying his face in his hands. "Now I'm the one making big date mistakes."

"At least we're a bit more even, now."

Clinking bowls, glasses, and silverware announce the dutiful return of their waitress. She deposits a tray with their orders in front of them without ceremony.

"Yer order," she grunts from over her shoulder as she leaves.

"At least they're quick," Finn remarks as he pulls his bowl and glass toward him.

The so-called 'meal' consists of a chunk of some meat-like product sitting in a pool of gray sauce. Tentatively, he cuts off a piece of it and scoops it into his mouth. The texture of the meat is dense and oily, and while the flavor isn't necessarily  _bad_ , he would have described it as aggressively bland with an odd, nutty undertaste.

"How is it? Does the name 'blork' do it justice?"

"Better than the name, actually, but still not great. I've eaten old cocktail weenies straight out of the garbage, so I've had much, much worse."

"Good enough for me," Huntress Wizard declares as she sinks her knife straight into the center of the meat. She brings the whole chunk to her face and begins gnawing at it as though it were a giant chicken leg.

Watching her, Finn starts to giggle.

"What? Am I doing something funny?"

"Nah," Finn shakes his head and pops another piece of blork into his mouth. "I love the way you eat, HW. We just really suck at dating is all."

Huntress Wizard nods. "No argument here. It's what happens when exceptional beasts like us try to infiltrate the world of normal people for the first time. If a pair of normal people suddenly decided to try fighting monsters or saving princesses, they would suck at it on the first try, too."

She takes another bite of her meal.

"But it's alright, Finn. We can keep learning as we go, together."

Finn smiles and reaches across the table, taking Huntress' hand in his own. They hold each other's hand for the rest of their meal.

For Finn, it makes cutting into his blork more difficult, but Huntress Wizard is well worth the extra effort.

* * *

Feeling emotionally drained by their fiasco of a date, Finn and Huntress Wizard decide to head back to Finn's home and chill out for the rest of the afternoon. Now, cuddling up comfortably next to each other on the sofa with piping mugs of tea in hand, Finn scoots up to the edge of his seat, towards the television.

"Do you want to watch another movie, Huntress?"

"Mmm, not right now; I want to hear your voice. Let's do something we can talk to each other over."

"Sure. How about we play video games?"

Huntress Wizard takes a sip of her drink. "Sounds like it could be fun. I've never played any, though. Is it hard?"

"Depends on what you play. We can try something that starts off easy and see how you like it."

"Cool! Let's do it."

Finn places his tea on the coffee table, turns on the television, and pulls out a drawer situated below it. Inside are several stacks of thin cardboard boxes, most are handmade with colorful labels and titles. A worn box at the top, held together by several strips of tape, however, is of simple, muted silver. On its front is a black trapezoid containing a variety of brightly pixelated sprites. Below it, in a bold orange font, is the title: 'Zetroid'.

"This one might work. Only one person can do it, though. You can play and I'll help you out, if you need it."

Huntress Wizard nods, watching in interest as Finn slides the gray cartridge out of its package. He looks down into a crevice along its bottom and blows a puff of air into it. Satisfied, he flips open a small hinged door at the front of the game system, slots the hunk of plastic inside, and switches it on.

A backdrop of pixelated stars over the black sky of an alien planet blinks into view. The title, this time in blue, fades in overtop it as an ominous, plodding chiptune plays in the background. Finn hands Huntress Wizard the gamepad.

"Press the start button. It's on the right, in the middle there."

The nymph does as Finn suggests. As she taps it, the title letters flash a rainbow of colors before vanishing. More text fades in to replace it:

'Emergency Order: Defeat the Zetroid of the planet Nebeth and destroy the Mother Heart, The Mechanical Life Vein – Galaxy Federal Police, M510."

"Okay," Huntress Wizard says, "there's a  _lot_  to take in on that sentence."

"Basically, you're a Space Hunter – a bounty hunter – and the Galactic Federation have hired you to take out some baddies on this planet."

The text fades away once more and the chiptune grows faster. As the electronic notes climb to a flourish, a figure in red and orange armor emerges from the shadows of a dark cave.

"So that's who I am? The 'Space Hunter'?"

"Uh huh, Sanus Varan. You can move around using the little cross button. Shooting is the 'B' button and you can jump using the 'A' button. Try shooting the little guys crawling down those columns."

Pressing the B button a few times, Huntress Wizard causes Sanus' sprite to fire off a few red dots to the left of her. She presses up and fires again, killing the little Zoober above her.

"Haha! I did it!" She cries triumphantly before moving on to the next one.

Seeing his girlfriend's eyes lighting up in delight, Finn grins to himself and snuggles in closer.

Hours later, Huntress Wizard is spooned against Finn on the couch, using his chest as a pillow. Her tongue points out from the corner of her mouth in concentration as she makes another running leap across some platforms suspended over magma. At the peak of her jump, a spiny purple head with a long snout rises from below the surface of the molten rock. It spits out a ball of flame that hits Huntress Wizard dead center. She falls into the magma pit, which saps away what little remains of her life. The game over screen flashes across the screen.

"GAH! Stupid donking fire dragons!" She yells in frustration.

Finn wraps his arms around Huntress Wizard and leans down into the crook of her neck. "You we're doing great for your first time, Huntress."

Huntress Wizard leans her head up into his, "Thanks, Finn. Videogames are actually really fun, for a bunch of dots on a screen."

"You want to take a break? I can start making dinner for us."

She rolls off the couch, stands up, then does a few squats and stretches. "Yeah, alright. Need to rest my eyes anyhow. What are you thinking of making?"

"Let me check what we got."

The young hero gets up and saunters over to the kitchen area. He opens the fridge and sticks his head in.

"Uh, there's a tub of fruit salad that Jake brought over a few days ago."

"Bleh."

"Some spinach ravioli?"

"Next."

"I've got a bunch of eggs from the coop and some cheese. I could make some omelets."

"That sounds good. You want me to help?"

"Sure."

Huntress Wizard cartwheels from the couch over to the stove. Flashing a few gestures, a mixing bowl, a whisk, a pan, and a spatula float out from Finn's kitchen drawers and onto the countertop.

"How do you know where I keep all of my cooking stuff, HW?" Finn asks as he carries over the ingredients.

"I don't. It's a tool finding spell; I just provide the spell with what tools I need with my hand signals and it attracts the closest things around that match it."

"Man, that sounds useful as heck."

"It is, but only if you don't accidentally make the wrong hand sign. Like, say I needed a pipe. if I don't tell the spell that I want a pipe that's not attached to anything, it might decide to rip one out from your plumbing."

"Schmow." Finn says, greasing up the pan. "Has anything like that happened to you before?"

"When I was first learning the spell, my assignment was to summon a hammer and some nails. I didn't specify the number of nails I needed, or that they had to be loose. As soon as I cast the spell, every nail in the classroom started popping out of the walls. The whole place would've collapsed on us if my professor hadn't put up a cancellation field."

Huntress Wizard chuckles as she grabs a few eggs and starts cracking them open into the mixing bowl. "After that, it took a while before I was able to convince my wizardry adviser to let me take the course over again. I passed with flying colors the next time, though."

Putting the plate on the stove, Finn turns the element on and joins in with Huntress cracking eggs. "How long were you in wizard school for?"

"It's sort of hard to track; a few of the major courses took place in pocket dimensions outside of our current space-time continuum. If we're only counting time within our solar system…about nine years. I was a wood nymph specializing in forestry magics, so I was on a fast track. There were some students that had been there for 20 or 30 years."

"I once tried to sneak into a college class. They beat me up and threw me out in less than 15 minutes for truancy."

Huntress Wizard snorts. "You got your butt kicked by a bunch of nerds?"

"Well, they really only bit up my hand. It was worm college."

"Ah. Of course."

With the eggs all cracked, Finn whisks them to a nice, creamy consistency and pours the liquid out across the pan. It sizzles as it settles against the hot metal.

"Hey, Huntress?"

"Mn?"

"Feel free not to answer me, but I'm curious: what was your name before you graduated wizardry school? It wasn't just 'Huntress', was it?"

Huntress Wizard expression becomes more subdued at the question. "It's been a long time since I've given that any thought."

"You really don't have to answer if you're not comfortable with it."

"No, it's fine. Relationships are about building trust and after what you did for me today…yeah, I want you to know. So, you were right before, actually; 'Huntress' was the name I went by before I became a wizard. However, names work differently for forest nymphs compared to how others use them. We go through multiple names as we grow."

"Really? That's really cool."

"The name my parents gave me can only be pronounced properly in ancient wood speak. Roughly, it's a phonosemantic representation of the specific tree and earth that my mother gave birth against. Had I come of age within my clan, I would have been given several new names."

"Could you hand me the cheese, please? Keep on going, though."

"Oh, sure. Here you go." She passes him some slices of Swiss sitting next to the egg carton and continues.

"But since I left, I decided to adopt my own: one that immediately identified my position to other people, and another that I called myself. 'Huntress' was the former, which then became 'Huntress Wizard' once I completed wizardry school. And the name I call myself…well, it's just 'Artra'."

"Artra…" Finn enjoys the impression that the name leaves on his lips as he says it aloud. He flips over the omelet, slides it out onto a plate, and pours the rest of the eggs into the pan. "Does it mean something special?"

Huntress Wizard shrugs, "Not really. I think I saw it on the cover of an old book or something when I first set out on my own. I thought it sounded pretty at the time."

"It  _is_  pretty. Like you." He picks up the plate with the finished omelet and passes it to her. "Your eggs are done."

A fierce blush erupts across the nymph's cheeks as she takes her plate. She turns her gaze, hiding her eyes behind the edge of her hood. "Glob, s-shut up."

Finn chuckles as he prods the congealing side of his eggs with his spatula. "Would you like me to call you that from now on?"

"Nah," she replies, taking a seat at the table. "Huntress Wizard is the name which you came to know me by. It'd feel weird to hear something different all the time. Like, if I started calling you Finnigan or Merty."

"I grok you." Finn gives his omelet a flip or two. Once it sets, he slides it onto a plate and switches off the element. He fetches two glasses and fills them with water before joining his girlfriend at her side. "I'm glad you let me in on something so personal."

She digs into her meal. "It was nice to finally share. I might even just let you get away with using it on occasion. As a secret pet name maybe?"

Finn leans over and plants a light kiss on her temple. "Only for you, then, Artra."

"You see!" Huntress Wizard exclaims, giving him a small shove. She tries to look incensed despite the grin she's sporting. "You're already pushing it, dude!"

"Okay! Sorry!" Finn laughs and tucks into his eggs. After a few minutes of eating together, he speaks up again. "You want to play more videogames in a bit?"

"I'll need to mediate first. But then, yes, I will totally play the crud out of some games with you."

"And maybe some cuddles and make outs in bed after?"

"Tell me where to find some of those secret energy tanks you were talking about earlier and maybe I'll consider it."

"I keep telling you, HW, they won't be secrets anymore if I just point them all out. The whole point is the joy of discovery!"

"Then don't tease me by telling me about them before I do, you dill-lord!"

Finn hangs his head in mock defeat. "Fine, I'll help you find them, but I'm not giving everything away."

"Woohoo!" Huntress Wizard gloats, shooting celebratory rays of golden light into the air. "Energy and make outs forever! Aaahahahahaha!"

Finn merely shakes his head in amusement, happy that, in the end, he'd done something to salvage the day for his love…Artra the Huntress Wizard.


	6. Chapter 6

Huntress Wizard awakens and sits up in bed, adjusting her mask while blinking the sleep out of her eyes. In truth, she didn’t much care for sleeping on anything so plush as a mattress; it just didn’t provide the fortifying feeling that came with having the entire earth against your back. The coziness of Finn’s warmth against her skin, however, was more than enough to offset such a minor discomfort. She looks down at the human, still sleeping peacefully beside her. The covers had come slightly loose sometime in the night, showing off his broad chest and the slight pudge of his tum.

_‘Grob, he is so adorable. Like a toasty little bear cub.’_

Smiling, she leans over to give him a tender kiss on the cheek before tucking him snugly back under the blanket. HW then gently rises out of the bed, taking extra care not to disturb her boyfriend with her movements, and pads soundlessly across the living room floor.

It was just before dawn – her usual wake-up time – and about an hour or two before Finn was likely to rouse himself from slumber. Whether he got out of bed after waking up was another matter entirely, though. Still, it gave her a chance to get a jump on a few things that needed doing. The first of which she was presently picking up off the floor. The outfit she’d been wearing was in a desperate need of a wash. Luckily, Finn’s place was built near a small fresh-water spring where she could bathe and do laundry all at the same time. Hanging each article over her forearm, Huntress Wizard proceeds to grab a bar of soap from the bathroom and heads for the front door. Hopefully, she could find a suitable beetling-stone once she arrived.      

Fully nude, save for her mask, the wood nymph exits the cabin as quietly as the creak of the door hinges allow. It’s faintly misty outside and the air is chilly against her bare skin with only a hint of orange sunlight peaking over the horizon. Huntress Wizard welcomes the feeling, however, finding it bracing as she makes the short trek down the hillside, into the surrounding thickets of black oak and sugar pine. While picking her way through the forest, she hears a few excited murmurs coming from the trees she passes. It was usually easy enough to tune trees and plants out: they typically talked about their reproductive cycles or complained about not being able to produce enough starch or fructose to meet their ideal growth needs. These trees, however, sounded immensely interested in something they were harboring.

Huntress Wizard makes a mental note to check out whatever had the trees so agitated later. Right now, she had more basic needs to fill.

The gentle sound of trickling water and chirping birds greets her ears as soon as she emerges into a small clearing. The crystal-clear spring sits still and open before her, as though in wait for her arrival. She smiles at the tranquil scene and deposits her clothes on a small flat rock at the edge of the water. Then, with soap in hand, she steps into the shallows. Huntress Wizard grimaces at the cold but continues until the water reaches up around her shoulders. Quickly, she dunks her head underneath the surface and emerges, floating on her back.

“Ahhhh,” Huntress Wizard sighs happily. She allows herself to float for a few minutes, before moving into a backstroke that puts her back into the shallows. Sitting up, she takes the soap and starts scrubbing herself down. As the water around her turns frothy with suds, she suddenly stops, sensing something else in the water with her. It’s a _very_ familiar presence.

She turns around and sees the Forest Spirit lounging in the water a little way from her. He flicks his hands across the surface, splashing lightly for his own amusement.

“Hey,” She says, before resuming her wash.

“Good morning, Huntress Wizard.”

“Surprised to see you here, dude. Thought you cut me out of the loop for good.”

“I’ve never cut anyone out, Huntress; it’s always the people around me that stray too far afield. And I never blame them. People have a lot of competing interests outside of me and my realm in this world.” He beams. “Speaking of which, you seem very content as of late.”

“If you’re here just to say, ‘I told you so’, make it quick. I’ve got laundry to do after this.”

“No. I wanted to say I’m proud of you, Huntress Wizard. After watching you struggle alone against the tides of madness and sadness for so long, I’m relieved that you’re finally approaching some measure of peace in your life.”

“But that’s not all, is it?”

“Always straight to the point. Alright.” He shifts closer, his voice taking a more serious tone. “I support this path you’ve started down, Huntress. Keep in mind, though: you have other obligations that you’ve sworn to uphold. So, I offer you a warning.”

Huntress Wizard stops washing herself and turns fully towards the Forest Spirit. “What is it?”

“The happiness you feel now is a fragile thing. And it will be tested and torn against the many selves of your soul. Think deeply about who you are, Huntress Wizard, the things you want most from this life, and what life demands from you. Seek this balance and protect it over all else in the coming trials.”

“What trials?”

But the Forest Spirit is already gone by the time the question leaves her lips. Huffing in irritation, Huntress Wizard moves back to the edge of the spring and grabs her clothes. She unfurls each article and dips them down into the water to let them soak.

Coming back to Finn’s house after her outfit had finished drying, Huntress Wizard is surprised to see her human host already up and about making coffee in the kitchen.

“Hey, Huntress! I was wondering where you went when I got up. Want some coffee?”

“Sure. Sorry about that, Finn, I wanted to do some early laundry and stuff.”

“That’s fine. But, you know, you could have used my washing machine if you’d wanted.”

She approaches the kitchen table and takes a seat as Finn sits down, passing her a fresh mug of joe. She takes it and sips at it gently.

“I don’t know how to use one of those things and I didn’t want to wake you up so that you could teach me.”

“Oh, okay. What would you like for breakfast?” 

Huntress Wizard pauses and thinks. “How about we go on a hunt this morning? We can just bag us something to eat.”

“You mean the two of us? I’ve helped you track and fight monsters before, HW, but I don’t know much about hunting actual animals for food. Wouldn’t I just slow you down?”

“Sure, it might take a little extra time, but it’s just breakfast. There’s no need to rush.” Huntress Wizard takes another swig of her coffee. “Plus, I think teaching you a few basic hunting skills will help me clear my mind some.”

* * *

Finn trails a few paces behind Huntress Wizard as they navigate through the forest. It was slow going, though, since she was also attempting to teach him the correct way to move through the brush without making too much noise.

“…You want to keep your legs lightly bent as you go, keeping your center of mass low and stable. Kind of like you’re just about to stand back up to your full height after getting off a chair.” She assumes the correct posture to illustrate. “Like this.”

Watching carefully, Finn does his best to match Huntress Wizard. “Uh, is this right?”

Huntress Wizard examines him. “Straighten your legs just a bit more. They don’t need to be _that_ bent.”

He makes the suggested adjustment to his stance and Huntress Wizard nods.

“Yeah, that’s good. Now, put your weight on one leg and step forward gently with the other. As you bring your foot down, make sure to place the outer ball of your feet onto the ground first. Then, roll the rest of your foot down, starting from your toes and finishing with your heel. Got it?”

It takes a series of practice steps, but Finn eventually grasps the basic method.

“Okay. Now, we’re going to head West for a bit and see what we can find. Try to keep up with me while still moving as fluidly as possible. Don’t sweat it if you make a bit of noise or start falling behind, though.”

“Sure thing.”

Fox walking, the pair start moving delicately across the floor of the forest. Huntress, of course, makes it look effortless, whereas Finn barely manages to keep pace without occasionally rustling a shrub or crunching some leaves underfoot. He also suspects that she’s moving much, much slower than usual for his benefit.

As they move, Huntress talks in a whisper. _“I have an unfair advantage with my magically enhanced senses, but when looking for prey on your own, you want to keep your eyes sharp for any fresh indications of an animal’s presence in your hunting area. This can be tracks, dung, fur or feathers, broken branches, or territorial markings. Really, anything that shows that something has been moving within the area recently will do.”_

Finn simply nods, trying to ignore the burn starting to build up in his thigh muscles. Thankfully, Huntress raises a hand a few minutes later, signaling them to stop.

“ _I can hear a small flock of mourning doves in the trees over there_. _Would you want dove for breakfast, or do you want to look for something with more meat on it?_ ”

“ _I’ve never had dove before, but I guess that’d be fine.”_

_“Okay. We can try getting a bit closer for a better shot.”_

They creep up slowly until they are a few meters away from the base of three oak trees. Finn can see the little birds perched in bunches along several branches, preening and cooing. Something pokes him in the side. He looks and sees Huntress Wizard holding out a bow toward him with an arrow already nocked on the string.

_“Are you sure you want me to take the shot, Huntress? This is our breakfast.”_

_“Don’t worry about it; even if you miss, I won’t. Oh, and make sure to exhale as you shoot.”_

Finn takes the weapon in hand, keeping a loose grip around the bow as he raises it up. Aligning the arrow tip with his target as best he can, he draws the sting until it just touches the edge of his cheek. He steadies his breathing and on the next exhale, he releases.

The arrow flies straight into a cluster of doves on one of the upper branches. There’s a frantic flutter of wings as dozens of birds scatter up into the morning sky. One, however, plummets to the earth with an arrow through its belly.

“Nice shot,” Huntress Wizard remarks. She makes a gesture and the bow dissipates from Finn’s hand.

Emerging from their hiding spot, the pair walk over to where the dove lies. Huntress Wizard leans down and picks it up.                    

“How about we find a rabbit to flesh out this meal some more? I can see some fresh tracks over to the South.”

“Sure.”

They resume their fox walk, passing deeper into the forest. Apart from some songbirds chirruping in the branches above them, all is quiet for a time as Huntress Wizard leads them along the tracks. It isn’t until Finn catches Huntress Wizard giving him a lengthy gaze that he breaks the silence in a whisper.

_“Is something wrong, HW?”_

_“Huh? Oh, uh, nothing important. Just thinking about something.”_

_“Like what?”_

She sighs. _“Except for what happened at the Candy Kingdom, these past few days have been a blast, Finn. But I can’t keep hanging around your place forever. I’ve got to get back to my own forests and start watching again. After lunch, today, I’ll be taking off. Are you okay with that?”_

Finn feels his heart sink but does his best not to let Huntress read it on his face. _“Yeah, I understand. You have your own stuff to take care of. I should probably check in with PB and see if she needs me to do anything for her.”_

_“I’ll come find you when I have time to hang. We could try staying over at my place for a night or two. Alright?”_

“ _That’d be great, Artra.”_

Huntress Wizard stops suddenly and Finn almost bumbles into her back. _“Oops, sorry, I mean HW!”_

 _“No, not that. There’s a rabbit just up ahead, by that bush over there.”_ She levitates an arrow out of her quiver. “ _I’ll take this one.”_

She throws her arm out with her palm facing forward and the arrow rockets off into the brush. There’s a small squeal and a faint shuffle of leaves.

She grins. “Got it.”

They walk over to the bush and Huntress Wizard fishes out her kill from the thick vegetation. It’s a brown rabbit with an arrow straight through its neck. She plucks the arrow out and puts it back in her quiver.

“So, what now? Are you going to show me how to clean and cook ‘em?”

“Tempting, but I doubt we’ll get a chance, now.” She makes a small gesture and a portable portal opens in the air beside her. She slips both their kills inside and the portal disappears.

“Huh? What makes you say that?”

Huntress Wizard points behind him. “Marceline just landed right over there.”

“Cram! How’d you know?”

Turning about, Finn sees the vampire queen phase out from invisibility. She drifts closer towards them while keeping to the shadows.

“Huntress Vision,” HW replies. “I also heard the air catching against the brim of your sunhat on your descent.”

“Uh, so, what brings you here, Marcy? How’d you even know where we were?”    

“I think you can guess, Finn. Bonnie got a report that you and some girl with wooden antlers went full slaughterhouse on some dudes over at the market yesterday. She wants a word.”

“And what?” Huntress Wizard asks. “You’re going to force us?”

“Geez, take it down a notch, girl. No, I’m letting you guys know that a friend is worried about what happened and wants your side of the story before rumors start filling it in for you. Are you coming or what? I want out of the sun, ASAP.”

Finn looks at Huntress Wizard and shrugs.

“Okay, we’ll come along, but we also want breakfast,” Finn declares. “Those are our terms.”

“What am I, Bonnie’s maid? You can ask for something when we get over there. Now, let’s go; it’s not even noon and I’ve had more than my fill of sunshine for the day.”

* * *

Peppermint Butler is already waiting for them once they file into the candy foyer.

“Ah, Miss Abadeer! I see that you managed to track down the alleged assailants,” he says with a playful tone and beckons them up the main stairway. “Please, follow me. Princess Bubblegum is taking her breakfast in the great chamber today. She is eager to speak with you both, Mister Mertens and Miss Wizard.”

“Hey, Peps?” Finn asks, “Could we get some breakfast, too? Huntress and I didn’t get a chance before Marceline caught up to us.” 

“Not a problem. I suspected as much, so I took the liberty of preparing meals for both of you.”

“Yusss. Free palace food is almost worth ticking off PB.”

Beside him, Huntress Wizard’s expression takes a pensive edge at Finn’s words. Her secretive and solitary nature did not lend itself easily towards earning or keeping the trust of others. Even so, Princess Bubblegum was among the precious few who regularly reached out to her as a reliable ally, or even a friend on occasion. Were the princess to decree her a potential threat to the candy people, any goodwill they once shared would be effectively snuffed out. Not to mention that she would be indefinitely barred from entering the kingdom, which would only complicate her blossoming relationship with Finn. While unlikely, the faint possibility makes the forest nymph uneasy.

Passing through one of the castle’s more sumptuous red-velvet corridors, Peppermint Butler leads them to an elegantly carved door of lacquered dark chocolate. He knocks three times before opening it just wide enough to stick his head in.

“Princess, Miss Abadeer has returned with Mister Mertens and Miss Wizard. Shall they join you now?”

“Yeah, bring ‘em in.” Princess Bubblegum replies. Her voice sounds distant and muffled, as though speaking with her mouth full while far away.

Peppermint Butler pushes the door open, then ushers them inside. The great chamber lives up to its name as it is far larger and more opulent than most other rooms in the castle. Much like the outer hall, the décor revolves around a central motif of red-velvet cake – rich wine reds paired alongside striking alabaster – all emblazoned in an abundance of gold filigree. At center, there is a long dining table festooned in gilt-bronze mounts and ringed by matching chairs. Princess Bubblegum, however, is stationed at a modest table set to the side that’s just big enough to comfortably sit four people.

She daintily wipes the corners of her mouth with a napkin as they approach. “Thanks for getting them for me, Marcy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Marceline says, floating over to her meal set right next to PB. “I don’t know why you couldn’t have just told the banana guards to go get them instead.” The vampire queen picks up a cherry donut from her plate and sinks her fangs into it.  

“You know as well as I do that the banana guards aren’t great at finding people, and they can’t smell human blood from miles off.” She regards Finn and Huntress Wizard. “Please, you two, come sit. Pep-But will bring your food out.”

“Thanks, Bubs,” Finn says as he relaxes into a chair across from their host. Huntress Wizard takes the one next to him, opposite of Marceline. Every move she makes, though, is guarded and alert.

“I’m certain Marcy already gave you both the reason for your summons, so I’ll jump to the heart of the matter. Why did you two see fit to nearly kill four people in the heart of my kingdom? They weren’t candy people, yes, but I’m still deeply concerned about such a public display of violence in my realm.”

“Hey, I told them to back off,” Finn contends. “But they just wouldn’t leave me and Huntress alone. Their leader grabbed me, we started to fight, he set his goons after us, and then things got out of hand from there.”

Princess Bubblegum takes a sip from her teacup. “Hmm, that’s plausible…” she replies, “but the injured mercenaries and several witnesses reported that Huntress Wizard shot two of them down with their backs turned toward her. They also said that the leader had his hands up in surrender before getting shot himself. Those don’t strike me as the actions of someone just ‘defending’ themselves.”

Finn grimaces.

Huntress Wizard narrows her eyes at Princess Bubblegum.

“In fact,” Princess Bubblegum continues, “it seems as though Huntress Wizard was solely responsible for all of the damages. If it was just a sloppy fight, I would expect Finn to have caused some injuries too. Care to explain?”

“Well, y-you know…” Finn stutters, racking his brain for a good excuse, “those guys, they-”

“You can drop the pretext, Princess,” Huntress Wizard interjects. “I did it.”

The nymph’s abrupt admission of guilt stuns Finn. He looks questioningly at her, unsure whether she knows what she’s getting herself into.

Princess Bubblegum pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath. “Okay, thank you for your honesty, Huntress Wizard. Could you _please_ explain why you felt it necessary to openly maim those men?”

She shrugs. “I’m a hermit. Large groups of people tend to freak me out. They cornered us in a crowded area: I was scared, so I lashed out to hurt them. Probably went overboard on that last part – I’m sorry. Is that what you wanted to hear from me?”

Before PB offers a response, Peppermint Butler rolls a serving cart up to the side of the table. “Breakfast is served for our guests.” He proclaims as he hefts up both steaming courses and delivers them to their plates. “French toast, sausage, and orange slices for Mister Mertens, and, for Miss Wizard, steak and bacon. Enjoy.”

Peppermint Butler genuflects and moves to his station off PB’s side for further orders.

Hunger takes precedence over the table’s strained atmosphere as Finn and Huntress Wizard dig directly into their meals. Princess Bubblegum, loath though she is to suspend their discussion, relents on seeing her two famished friends enjoying the food. She contents herself, instead, by wrapping a hand around Marceline’s and softly playing with her fingers just below the edge of the table. The vampire girl smiles at her, playing in return.

Several minutes of quiet dining pass and then Princess Bubblegum straightens in her chair to speak once more.

“As I was about to say, Huntress Wizard, I _do_ appreciate the apology and sympathize with your inexperience around crowds. You’re a defender of the Candy Kingdom and, more importantly, our friend, so I’m willing to overlook any legal consequences of this incident. However, I still need assurance that nothing like this will ever happen again so long as you’re around my citizens.”    

“Oh, Bonny, no, don’t-”

Princess Bubblegum raises a hand, silencing Marceline. “I need you to royal promise that you won’t attack any of my candy citizens.”

“Isn’t that kind of extreme, Peebs?” Finn cuts in. “You remember what happened the last time you used it, right?”

“I’m aware, but I’m not taking chances when it comes to protecting my people. It’s either this, or expulsion from the kingdom. Your choice, HW.”

Huntress Wizard jabs a knife into her steak and rips a chunk off it. She chews solemnly, weighing her options. Finally, she swallows and nods. “Okay, fine.” She places her hand over her heart. “I royal promise not to harm any of your oh-so-precious-yet-fragile candy citizen peeps. There, do you feel better, now, Your Majesty?”

“Very much so. Thank you, Huntress Wizard.” Princess Bubblegum giggles and her face lights up. “Now, who wants coffee?”

Before anyone can accept the offer, an alarm blares from a speaker hidden in the upper corner of the room. Huntress Wizard launches from her seat like a startled cat and lands on top of the table with magic arrows drawn. Several plates crash to the ground.

“What the donk is that?!” She cries out. “Are we under attack?!”

Finn stands up and draws his sword, as well.

“Relax, everyone!” Princess Bubblegum urges. “It’s just an emergency line that Tree Trunks is required to call whenever something is wrong with Sweet Pea. She probably either confused it with her regular phone again or Sweet Pea caught the sniffles.”

Peppermint Butler is already running in with the phone on a serving tray. He holds it up for her and she picks up the receiver.

“Hello, Tree Trunks? This is Princess Bubblegum, what seems to be the-” Princess Bubblegum’s expression drops. “Woah, woah, Tree Trunks, you need to slow down; I can barely understand-”

Marceline, Finn, and Huntress Wizard all exchange bemused glances between one another.

“Yes, I know I told you to call if-” she sighs in frustration. “Tree Trunks! If there’s something wrong with Sweet Pea, tell me right now!”

There’s a pause, then a low murmur on the other end.  

“ **WHAT?!** ” Princess Bubblegum drops the phone and whirls toward her friends. “Finn, Huntress Wizard! You need to get to Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig’s house RIGHT NOW! Call Jake and tell him to get over there, too. Marcy, you’re with me.”

“What’s going on, Peebs?” Finn asks uneasily.

“No time!” PB exclaims practically dragging Marceline through the air behind her like a balloon. She yanks on a nearby sconce and a secret passage opens before her. “Move!”

Huntress Wizard sprints over to the nearest window and shatters the glass with a kick. “C’mon, Finn, I’ll carry you.”

Still confused, but intent on serving his princess, Finn dashes and leaps through the broken pane. Huntress Wizard follows him through, transforming into a hawk and grabbing him by the shoulders mid-fall. As they soar off over the Candy Kingdom’s walls, Finn pulls out his phone from his pack. He dials Jake’s number.

“C’mon, Jake, answer.”

The line rings a couple of times before picking up.

“Hey, bro,” Jake answers cheerfully. “What’s the haps?”

“Dude! Something **bad** is going down at Tree Trunks’ place. Me, HW, Marcy, and PB are all on our way over right now. You need to get there too, toot sweet.”

“Oh! Uh, sure. I’ll head out right now. I’m a ways away, so it might take a while. Any idea what’s happening?”

“No clue, but it’s got PB spooked crazy bad, man. I’ll see you there.”

Finn hangs up and looks towards Tree Trunks’ apple orchard approaching them from the distance. The shot of adrenaline-fueled excitement that usually accompanies his calls to adventure is strangely absent today. A feeling of hollow dread comes to bear, instead, seeping in icily from the margins of his mind. He hopes that they’re not too late to help with whatever might be happening down there.

* * *

Making their final descent above the orchard’s clearing, Finn can already tell that something is terribly wrong. Half of Tree Trunks’ house is completely gutted. The once cheery pink façade is now scorched and splintered in what looks like the aftermath of a bomb. Tree Trunks, herself, is outside, wailing over the crumpled form of Mr. Pig amid the charred debris.

Huntress Wizard releases Finn before reverting to her normal form. They land together a few paces away from the crying elephant. Finn rushes to her side while the forest nymph hangs back, enchanted arrows at the ready.

“Tree Trunks!” Finn cries. “What happened?!”     

“Oh, Finn, my stars above, please save Sweet Pea! That awful man-creature blew up our house. He was talkin’ such awful words at my baby, then hounded him into the orchard right over yonder!” She points the way with her trunk.

“What about Mr. Pig?” He leans down and checks the pig’s pulse. “He’s not dead, is he?”

“Thank Gob, no; his dome-piece caught a bad wallump durin’ the blast. But don’t you fret about us, go save my baby boy!”

“We’re on it, TT,” Finn says, giving her a comforting pat on the head. “Sit tight.”

While Finn hurries over, Huntress Wizard is already on her way towards the tree line. She was never one to waste time listening to testimony; she always preferred the stories told by her surroundings. And, from the moment they’d landed, the story was clear: Sweet Pea and his pursuer had fled north-by-northeast into the orchard. Scorched bark and split branches mark the outer-most trees where the young boy had made his escape. Drawing near, her senses prickle up against harsh, necrotic magics filling the air. Whatever was after Sweet Pea, it had some serious firepower at its command. They didn’t have a moment to lose.

“Hey, wait up, H-dubs!”

“We can’t wait, Finn,” Huntress Wizard replies without breaking stride. “Whatever’s on Sweet Pea’s tail is powerful and out for blood. SP is a panicking kid, which means he’s burning through all his energy just trying to run away. If he stops to catch his breath or trips, I have a feeling we won’t be saving anyone.”

Hearing her diagnosis of the situation, the expression on Finn’s face grows grim. “That bad, huh? Can you tell what’s after him?”

“Judging by the tracks, it’s a humanoid of average build and wearing fancy boots. It’s also using some rancid magic, so it might be a necromancer, a witch, or some other kind of fell sorcerer.”

The two rescuers push in further through the thick maze of apple trees, until Huntress Wizard halts. She holds an arm out to keep Finn from rushing ahead and cups a hand around her ear.

“There. I can hear Sweat Pea sobbing from the north. We’re not too late! C’mon!”

They break into a dead sprint together, charging full tilt toward the source of the young boy’s cries as fruit-filled branches whip up against their chests and faces. The sobs grow louder and louder until, suddenly, a small clearing opens in front of them and they come to a stop. There, they find a shivering Sweet Pea pinned against a particularly thick apple tree and a slouching, hooded figure with a hand outstretched towards him.

“ **HEY!** ” Finn barks as he draws his sword. “Get the **DONK** away from Sweet Pea!”          

The figure’s head whips around towards them. Finn can’t see through the shadow cast over its face, but he can feel it grinning at them.

“Heh. Heh heh heh heh henn…earlier than I was expecting you, child. But still too late. Too late, by far.”

Finn’s eyes grow wide on hearing the familiar voice. “No. No, it’s not you: you’re gone. Long gone! Sweet Pea destroyed you!”

“There is but one fact that my teachings should have impressed upon you by now, my young pupil:” The figure says as it grabs the edge of its cowl, “ **I** am the eternal fount.”     

The figure draws back its hood to reveal none other than Old Mister Sours. Except, of course, it’s not Old Mister Sours anymore. What little remains of the elderly artifact dealer’s visage is grotesquely mutated. It looks as though the right side of his face would slough off at a moment’s notice. The other half is consumed by a pulsating mass of yellow flesh-putty, branching out in tendrils across his head.

“Mister Sours? **LICH!** You…you! Grod! **You** were the jar!”

“Yes. Those inept druids managed to pull me to this dimension, yet their efforts left me weakened. I was trapped inside that tomb.” The Lich’s grin gives a sickening twist upwards. “And then you came for me, as you always do.” 

He turns back to Sweet Pea. “But despite how fateful this meeting may appear, Finn the human, I am not here for you. I have come to reclaim what is-”

A stream of bright pink energy tears into the Lich’s side before he can finish, throwing him into a nearby apple tree. Marceline swoops down a second later, depositing Princess Bubblegum on the ground with a heavy ‘KAH-KUNK’. Loaded down with a giant ray cannon, battle gadgets, and encased in a suit of high-grade candy armor, the princess has transformed herself into a walking arsenal. A holographic screen flickers on over the ballistic shielding covering her head. It projects a pixelated version of her face.

“Finn! Marceline!” She shouts, her voice taking an electronic tenor over the speakers, “Before he can get up! Hurry!”

The Lich’s body creaks and cracks as he rights himself to a sitting position. “Hnnn…heheh. Princess, so good of you to come.”

“I got it,” Huntress Wizard says, taking aim at the Lich’s head with several of her most powerful arrows.

“No, don’t!” Princess Bubblegum cries out.

“Huh? Why?”

“That’s still Old Mister Sours he’s controlling. If you attack him, you’ll be violating your royal promise! _Technically!_ ”

“Oh, come on!” Huntress Wizard cries and gestures toward the Lich. “I think that **this** qualifies as an extenuating circumstance!”

“There’s nothing I can do about it, HW. We don’t have time to argue about it, either.” A metal baton slides out from a slot in her gauntlet. With a click of a button, a long beam of light pops out of it in the shape of a lance. She points it at their target. “Everyone else: attack!”

“We heard you the first time, Bonnie.” Marceline retorts as her arm shifts into a dark mass of tentacles with long, bladed tips. She swings, bringing the maelstrom of razors lashing down like a cat o' nine tails over the Lich.

“ **CRUMBLE.** ”

The word leaves the Lich’s throat just as the edge of the first blade bites into the side of his head. Instantly, Marcy’s set of tentacles turn to ash and disintegrate on impact.

“AHH!” Marceline shrieks and floats away. “My freaking arm!”

“You okay, Mar-Mar?” Finn asks as he leaps to her defense. 

“Yeah, just give me a sec for the regen to kick in.”   

“Cool. I’m gonna take this guy out for, like, the eighth time now.”

The Lich rises to his feet. “You never completely killed me, child. Not even once.”

“That so? Then, I guess I keep whooping you so bad, you just change forms. Hyaa!”

Finn thrusts forward. The Lich is far swifter than his host’s decaying body suggests, however. He sidesteps the point and backhands the young hero across the face before he can counter. Stumbling back, Finn quickly recovers and dives to the side, narrowly avoiding a bolt of necrotic energy as it crackles out from the Lich’s palm. The undead sorcerer prepares to channel another blast at his nemesis, only to cry out as Princess Bubblegum’s energy lance pierces straight through his arm, just above the elbow.

Before the Lich can do anything to defend himself, Princess Bubblegum wrenches the lance downward and twists. The surrounding bones and candy muscle snap and split under her augmented strength. Then, with a final jerk, his forearm rips off completely. She grabs him by the neck and hoists him up.

“I’m gonna enjoy wrecking up your whole shop, Lich.”

“Woo! Kill that musty tranch, Bonnie!” Marceline cheers.

“I’m disappointed, Princess.”

“I bet you are since I’m about to rip that goo you call a body off of Old Man Sours and seal it inside an extra-large drum of carborane acid.”

He chuckles. “I am disappointed that you so severely underestimate me. Did you think that I would settle for this bag of bones as my only thrall?” The Lich raises his remaining arm and points. “Behold.”

All four friends whirl around toward Sweet Pea. They’d been so focused on the fight, that they hadn’t noticed a small snail covered in yellow flesh worming its way up to the top of the little boy’s shoulder.

Instantly, Huntress Wizard fires off an arrow, pegging the snail with impeccable aim. But it’s too late. As the snail sails away, impaled against the arrow tip, the yellow flesh melts away from it and leaps up into Sweet Pea’s ear canal.

“NO!” Princess Bubblegum cries out.

Sweet Pea is deathly still. Then, he clutches at his head and screams. The Lich roars with laughter. Finn can’t tell which one is louder as he struggles to think of what to do.

“What the bliz is all the scream-laughing about?!” Jake exclaims as he finally arrives at the clearing. The dog stops dead in his tracks, speechless, as he takes in the grisly scene unfolding before him.

Sweet Pea’s scream cuts off as his eyes roll into the back of his head. Slowly, he unclasps his head and then tents a hand at the middle of his forehead. Blood rolls past his brow in fat droplets as he sinks his fingers down deep into his skin.

Together, the adventurers watch with mouths agape in utter horror.

The little boy murmurs darkly in a voice not his own while an acrid black fog wafts up from his open mouth. It starts around his fingertips and spreads over the front of his body. Eyes, skin, muscle, guts, and veins – every trace of living flesh putrefies and melts right off the bone until only the back half of the poor child remains.

Jake immediately vomits and passes out face-first into the dirt.

“SWEET PEA!” Finn screams and rounds on the Lich, still grinning from Princess Bubblegum’s armored grip. “I’LL KILL YOU!”                      

Before Finn can make good on his threat, the arm of Sweet Pea’s skeleton rises.

“ **SCATTER.** ”

A powerful wave of pressure erupts from its palm, flinging Finn, Marceline, and PB away from the Jake-Lich. Green flames ignite from within the original Lich’s eyeholes. He rips out from his bloody cocoon and steps down into the puddle of gore that was once the front half of the sweetest little boy in Ooo.

“You have done well to free me, my twin. Come to me, so that we may finally fulfill our grand resolution.”

Huntress Wizard, snapping out of her shock, takes up an enchanted arrow. “That’s it!” She shouts, taking aim at the Jake-Lich as he moves to the original. “I don’t care if I break every royal promise ever made; I’m taking you down!”

“Huntress Wizard, please!” Princess Bubblegum pleads as she desperately tries to pilot her armor back to a standing position. “Don’t do it!”

The nymph elects to ignore her and looses the shot anyway.

The glow of several enchantments interwoven along the shaft and fletching gives the arrow a faint golden tail as it streams through the air. Just as the very tip pierces into the Jake-Lich’s head, however, the world around them instantly switches to a monochromatic hue. The arrow is frozen in place, along with nearly everyone else. Huntress Wizard blinks in confusion.

“Grob. DANG IT!” 

Huntress Wizard flinches in surprise at Princess Bubblegum’s exasperated cry. The monarch pulls her suit back to its feet and scowls at Huntress Wizard.

“You just couldn’t wait, could you?! Now my last gumball guardian is on his way to try and torch you.”

“Hey! You’re the one who made me make that stupid promise!”

“If only you’d shown even an ounce of self-control, you wouldn’t have broken the promise or needed to take it in the first place!”

Huntress Wizard sighs. “Touché. What happened to everyone?”

“Localized temporal dilation. There’s a field over the Candy Kingdom that automatically intercepts the flow of time around a small area whenever a royal promise is broken. It’s intended to mitigate potential damages while the offender is judged.”

“Well, at least the Lich is stopped for now. Right?”

“Only until after the trial.”

“Hnn…are you so certain, Princess?” Another familiar voice chimes in. “It appears as though you can stop just about everything but me.” 

Princess Bubblegum and Huntress Wizard turn in dismay to see a green eldritch fire enveloping both Liches, thawing them from the surrounding chrono-glacier. Jake-Lich unsticks his head from the point of the arrow and casts it aside. The dimensional doppelgangers then resume their paths toward each other, albeit slower than before – the timestream still gradually warming up around them.  

A tremor runs through the ground.

“NO!” Princess Bubblegum yells as she makes a dash for the Liches. “NOT NOW!”

A massive candy-steel hand reaches down into the clearing and scoops both Huntress Wizard and Princess Bubblegum up high over the canopy. The remaining Gumball Guardian glares down at the forest nymph in his palm.

“Huntress Wizard! You have broken a royal promise, for which-”

“Guardian! The Lich is down there! I command you to forget about the promise and destroy him this instant!”

“Apologies, Mom, but my programming prevents me from overlooking a broken royal promise. I will destroy the Lich once the trial concludes.”

“Gaahh! Useless! At least make it a math one like you did with Finn.”

“Negative, Mom. Your tone does not denote a deep sense of caring for the promise breaker. Fire will suffice.” Flames flare from the corners of the guardian’s mouth as it passes the sentence.

“Yeah,” Huntress Wizard says, eyes flicking down to the ground. With her enhanced vision she can see that the Liches are mere moments away from each other. She summons a tethered arrow into her hand, looping the other end of the vine discreetly around her foot.  “It just might…”

In a flash, she jabs the arrow tip down deep into the guardian’s thumb.

“Ow.”

The small jolt of pain is little more than a pinprick to the Guardian, yet the surprise loosens its grip on Huntress Wizard just long enough for her to slip through its fingers. She makes a dive into the open air while Princess Bubblegum watches, gobsmacked, from behind.

In freefall, Huntress Wizard chants and gestures rapidly, conjuring up elemental fire runes around her. Once the incantation completes, her hands burst into flames. She shrieks, then blows a long raspberry. Her color scheme shifts while she blows, gradually reaching a bright magenta just as the vine at her ankle goes taut.

The cord vanishes at a thought, and she drops the rest of the way to where the Liches are now standing together. Huntress Wizard lands neatly, then about-faces with her arms outstretched.

“Yo, Guardian! Light me up – hot as you can!”        

The Guardian accommodates her request. It opens wide and a massive gout of white-hot flame pours forth, enveloping Huntress Wizard and the Liches all at once. Several searing seconds pass until the column of fire eventually tapers off and the guardian closes it mouth again.

“Sentence carried out; Royal Promise enforcement mode disengaged.”

The world’s palette resets, with Finn, Marceline, and Jake jumping back into motion again.

“Woah!” Marceline exclaims, floating up from her back. “What the blip just happened?”  

“I think some royal promise stuff went down,” Finn replies. He looks over to the thick cloud of smoke and ash billowing up from the patch of scorched earth a few yards away. He spies a bright magenta Huntress Wizard standing at its epicenter. Thankfully, she looks fine despite her smoldering surroundings.

“Huntress! What happened to the Liches? And why are you pink?”

She coughs, waving some of the smoke away. “Hey, Finn. One sec. Did we get them?”

“I…I’m not sure,” Princess Bubblegum answers as her guardian lowers her back to the ground.

“Almost,” A pair of voices speak in concert as a large, yellow hand lunges out from the haze. It takes hold of Huntress Wizard by her torso and quickly binds her arms and legs before she can slip away. The original Lich steps forward, though portions of his bones are now infused with the elastic skin of the Jake-Lich. He holds the struggling nymph up at eye level before him.

“Huntress!” Finn and Princess Bubblegum shout in unison.

“Had you struck mere moments earlier, you may have actually destroyed me, little daughter of the forest. Now, bonded, I am so much more than I ever was before.”

“Gumball Guardian! Destroy the Lich without hurting Huntress Wizard! **Now!** ”

“Okay, Mom.”      

The guardian kneels and positions a fist directly above the Lich. It swings down with titanic force, intent on crushing the undead necromancer like a bug.

In return, the Lich simply holds out a hand aimed at the guardian’s head.

“ **SHATTER.** ” 

A latticework of cracks web outward across its candy-polymer dome.  

“Oh…” is the only response that the Gumball Guardian musters before its face fractures open, spilling bolder-sized gumballs out across the orchard. The headless giant’s body teeters upright for a second, then limply falls to the side with a tree-rending boom.

“My Guardian!” Princess Bubblegum grits her teeth and levels her ray cannon at the Lich. “You’ll pay – you’ll pay for every little thing you’ve ever done, murdering monster!”

“Inadvisable, Princess. Lest you wish a quick death upon your friend here.” A sliver of Jake-flesh below Huntress Wizard’s throat forms into a hooked blade. “And even if you fire, it won’t kill me; none of you can, now.”

Scowling, Princess Bubblegum keeps her gun trained on him.

“Do it.”

“Do it? You honestly don’t care for the nymph’s life?” The Lich chuckles. “Perhaps there is a part of me that still lingers inside of you, Princess.”

“Finn, Marceline: do it!”

On cue, the vampire queen drops her invisibility behind the Lich. She hisses as her arms take on the form of her smoke-monster claws and shred through the flesh keeping HW pinned. At the same time, Finn leaps up onto the Lich’s shoulders and rams his sword straight through his nemesis’ spinal column.

“Yeah! This is what you GET!” He cries, twisting the Night Sword around in a circle. The Lich’s head pops off like a cork, while Marceline whisks Huntress Wizard to relative safety next to PB.

“Good work, you guys. How about we find out if he’s all _that_ unkillable?”

“Unnecessary. This ‘fight’ has long since run its course.”

A long tendril of Jake-flesh shoots out from the Lich’s airborne head and reaffixes to his body’s vertebrae.

“Your **face** has run its course!” Finn yells back defiantly, taking a swing at his immortal foe. The long strip of neck flesh ripples out of his blade’s reach and then sweeps down like a whip. It cracks Finn across his chest and throws him to the ground.

Seeing this, Princess Bubblegum quickly locks the Lich in for another shot from her cannon. Her finger is mid-squeeze over the trigger when she feels the command come crashing into her mind, straight through every protective ward and fire-wall programmed into her suit.

“ **STOP.** ”

Finn, PB, Marceline, and HW all find themselves instantly frozen to their spots, unable to move anything except their eyes and mouths (Jake, on the other hand, remains passed out). They strain against their psychic bindings, groaning and grunting in effort, yet to no avail.      

The Lich’s neck slowly retracts to its original length as he approaches.

“Now then,” he states, grinning maliciously at his captive audience. “I am afraid my schedule will not permit me to torment and kill each of you in all the countless ways I crave,” he stoops down over Finn and runs a claw-like finger down the edge of the human’s face. “But we will arrive there, in good time.”

“So, what? You’re just gonna keep us frozen here, you coward?”

“No, daughter of Abadeer. I will leave you with a small prelude of things to come.”

The Lich returns to his full height and holds up a hand encased in Jake-flesh. Four of his fingers stretch out until they reach the center of each friend’s forehead. He mutters a dark incantation and a green bolt of crackling energy leaps from his fingertips, striking them all simultaneously. The four great heroes of Ooo fall limp and collapse to the ground with glowing green glyphs hovering just above their faces.

The Lich chuckles and summons his cloak around him. As he takes his leave, he notices the body of Sweet Pea slumped up against an apple tree. A new skeleton has regrown inside of it and much of the gore puddled around is starting to slowly reassemble itself over the bare bones.

“Hmm, guardian blood. You will prove a challenge to kill, my former cage,” He remarks. “But we will solve you in time, too – solve everything in time.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jake awakes slowly, and shudders at the taste of leftover bile pooled in his cheek. He spits and wipes his tongue off against the fur on his arm.

"Grod…" He groans and sits up. "What the zip zop happened?"

Looking around, Jake surveys the scarred battlefield and the headless guardian.

' _Man, something heavy went down here. But why was I on the-'_

"Oh  **cram**!" Jake jumps to his feet and runs to the center of the clearing.  _'Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay…'_

"Sweet Pea!" He calls out, turning his mouth into a megaphone. "Can you hear me?!"

"Y-yes, Mister Jake. I can hear you."

"Oh, thank Glob!"

Jake rushes over to where Sweet Pea is sitting. The boy's clothes are in tatters and his eyes are red from crying.

"Sweet Pea, are you okay?"

"I think so, Mister Jake."

"I thought…well, I thought you got hurt, buddy, but I must'a dreamt it while I was unconscious or somethin'. And, hey, what's with this 'Mister' biz? I'm your young, hip buddy Jake, ain't I?"

"Oh, yeah – I'm sorry, Jake!"

"Don't worry about it, SP. Now, tell me what happened."

"I don't really know. The scary man was trying to get me, but Finn, Princess Bubblegum, Miss Marcy, and a green lady came to save me. They were fighting. I felt something move in my head and then I woke up all alone."

"You mean they aren't here? Finn and the girls just left you?"

Sweet Pea pouts and shrugs.

"Aww, well don't you worry, bud; you're safe now." Jake wraps Sweet Pea in a big hug, looping his arms around the boy's chubby tummy several times over. "Think you can make it back to your parents?"

"Uh huh, but what about you, Jake?"

"I'm gonna look around and see if I can figure out where Finn and the girls ran off to. I bet they mashed that scary old dude's buns and are chasing him off to whatever hole he crawled out of right now."

Sweet Pea giggles. "Yeah! Mashed his buns up good!"

"Heheh, okay, get goin', ya scamp. Tell your mom and pop that I'll be over with Finn once we get this mess hashed out. Bring y'all up on the deets."

"Alright. Bye-bye, Jake. Tell everyone 'thanks' for saving me."

"You got it, kiddo." Jake waves as he watches the boy walk off into the orchard proper. He breathes a sigh of relief and returns his attention back to the ruined clearing.

' _Okay, just gotta get the gang's scent. They couldn't have gone too far.'_

Jake enlarges his nose and takes a deep whiff of the air.

' _Wait, that can't be right; too strong. They'd still have to be…_ _ **there**_ _!'_

Just a few yards further away from where Sweet Pea had been sitting, Jake sees all four of his friends heaped upon the ground. He stretches over and immediately places his ear against Finn's chest. He lets out another sigh in relief upon hearing the strong, steady tempo of his brother's heart.

"Y'all are gonna give me a heart attack if you keep scaring me like this." He sits back up and examines the strange glyph glowing above Finn's face. "Hmm."

Jake reaches out, intending to prod at it, but his hand phases straight through. "Magically induced sleep, huh? That guy must've hexed 'em up before running off." He scratches his head and looks around. "Guess I should get them back over to the Candy Kingdom? Peppermint Butler or one of the doctors might know what to do."

He walks over to Princess Bubblegum. "First thing's first, though. I ain't moving PB anywhere while she's still jacked into this battle suit thingy." Stretching his arm into a thin filament, Jake threads it through one of the small seams along the armor. He gropes blindly about the interior until he finally catches on a small latch.

"Aha!"

Jake gives the latch a tug. A small hiss of pressurized air issues out from the side hatches and the front of the suit pops open like the hood of a car. As with the others, Bubblegum is sound asleep with an eerie glyph overhanging her face. Before Jake can pick her up, however, a hologram pops up from a small gem embedded in the suit's console. It displays a bright pink rectangle with Princess Bubblegum's upper half inside.

"Greetings, Jake."

"Princess? Is that you? Is this some sort of sleep phone you're calling me on?"

"No, I'm afraid not, Jake. I am an emergency AI program with Princess Bubblegum's personality. Readout from the suit's combat sensors and vital monitors indicate that we have failed to stop the Lich."

"That guy you were fighting was  **THE LICH**?!He's back? Again?!"

"Yes. Fortunately, since the Princess' last encounter with him, she had AIs like me compile thousands of theoretical models detailing the various scenarios in which the Lich could eventually resurrect himself. For each of these scenarios, I've devised a specific set of countermeasures. Take my projection gem and do as I tell you.  _Everything_  depends on you following these directions to the letter. Understand Jake?"

"Yes, sir, virtual Princess, ma'am, sir!" Jake salutes and takes the gem from its slot in the console. "I won't let you down."

"Good. I've signaled the Morrow to come pick you up. She's  _en route_  now. Collect the Princess and everyone else and get them to the Candy Kingdom infirmary  _schnell wie möglich_."

Jake shifts into a large bed with a cushy mattress. He picks up each of his friends and lays them down gingerly in a row on the bedding. Securing them with straps of his flesh, Jake then stretches the rest of himself into a giant basket shape. Soon, the Morrow swoops down, picks him up by the handle, and carries them back towards the Candy Kingdom.

* * *

Finn wants to scream, but his throat is burnt from the inside out. All he can do is draw some rattling breaths into what remains of his seared lungs. He's back on the black shore from his nightmare. Not that he could look to see it – his eyelids are fused together – but he can hear the crashing waves a short distance away and the clack of rotting teeth in the sky above him. He imagines he would be able to smell salt, too, but the acrid scent of his own cooking flesh overpowers everything else. One of his legs is gone.

' _Have to…have to move. Save everyone before he…'_

"I could have taken your body as my vessel, Finn. Had your precious nymph not warded you, it would have been so simple to slip inside your flesh while you slept and use it as my own."

The Lich chuckles. "Just as I did with Billy."

' _We're going to kill you, Lich. Me and my friends, we're gonna tear you apart, you sick bucket of oily clam scrat.'_  A gurgle rises from Finn's throat.

"Still a child hurling stones at storms, hmm? No matter. I have no intention of killing you right now. Though, your agony  _is_ rather gratifying."

Finn hears the Lich's footsteps as he approaches, stopping right next to the side of his head.

"You and your friends must be made to answer. For your collective crime, you see."

' _Maybe my leg got blown off. If it's nearby I can stab this tranch with the bone.'_ He pats weakly around the sand, looking to grab hold of anything that could serve as a weapon.

Bolts of pain explode through Finn's left shoulder. The Lich digs the bony points of his fingers into him, splintering the brittle skin.

"Have I, somehow, after all this time, still failed to earn your full attention, Finn? You  **will**  listen to me!"

Finn feels more heat boiling out from the Lich's hand. His undead nemesis hisses into his ear, words brimming with hatred.

"Back before existence, before nothing, there were monsters. Sitting highest above them all was the exalted and awful Lord Golb. I was chief among his entourage – his grand scholar. He remade me from the mindless beast I was to serve his holy gospel of chaos and death. Now that you and that woman have defiled him, I will seize upon that empty throne and remake you and your friends as my heralds. Together, we will crush the life from this world, and then all worlds, across all dimensions. We will kill for countless eons and, at the end of all ends, I will kill you all myself."

The burning heat spreads out to consume Finn's entire body. It's dark magic. He can feel it corrupting and mutating him as it seeps further down into his broken body.

The Lich laughs. "But keep in mind, my dear child: for the moment, this is all just a bad dream. The real thing will be  _so_  much worse."

A howl rips its way out of Finn's mouth as his flesh starts to knit back together. Raw nerves, bone, and muscle – every piece of himself warps and bends as a new form agonizingly overtakes the old. He opens his eyes, tears emptying down his cheeks as he watches his left arm swell outward to an inhuman proportion, spines popping out along its length. He reaches a clawed hand up toward the sky.

"GRAA **AA** **AHHHHH**!"

* * *

Utterly serene, Huntress Wizard perches atop a branch on a tree in the middle of a dark forest. It's not her forest, or any real forest for that matter. It's a dream, after all. She had recognized it as such from the outset, having awoken alone and severed from her magic. Also, the 'trees' were nothing but rotting offal and bone packed inside translucent 'bark' that writhed and rippled about like grub flesh. It was apparent that the Lich had put them into a sleep trance and some of his essence was likely skulking about in the shadows, ready to spring whatever repulsive trap he had set out for her. Having no intention of becoming another's prey, she had opted to wait and meditate – her every sense (excepting for smell) heightening to a razor's edge. That is, until she hears a pained howl in the distance. It's faint and murky, but she can immediately tell who it belongs to.

"Finn?"

The nymph leaps down from the bony branch supporting her and hurries on silent feet through the reeking undergrowth. There was a definite chance that this was all part of the Lich's trap, but she had to risk it. Finn's presence would help immensely in deciphering the dream's architecture and the formulation of a viable counter spell to wake them up. And she was in love with the guy – that was a definite plus, too.

Making her way deeper through what she now dubbed 'the horrible, rank meat thicket', she can feel the pull of eldritch energies some distance ahead. Before she can move any further, though, something catches around her ankle and yanks her to a halt. She looks down to find a rotting hand with the same translucent flesh as the trees extending out from the ground, its fingers wrapped firmly around her. A head rises out of the ground beside it. The thing's face is a grotesque meld of champing teeth and milky compound eyes, all directed at her.

"Meat." The syllable drops wetly from one its mouths.

Another hand sprouts up, followed by another head.

"Meat. Meat. Meat."

More hands and more heads emerge one by one, until the thicket fills with their chirping chant. The first among them digs further upward, maw dripping as it tries to take a bite from her calf.

"NO!" Huntress Wizard cries. " **Not**  meat!"

She raises her leg and sends the heel of her boot crashing into one of its eyes. It's head caves in with a spray of watery purulence. Ripping her leg free, Huntress Wizard leaps up into the nearest tree before more of the abominations can hem her in completely. As they emerge from their burrows to scrabble at the base of the wriggling trunk, she sees even more popping up from deeper in the forest.

"Couldn't make this easy for me, huh?" The nymph remarks dryly. She snaps off a long piece of bone from one of the branches next to her. It's roughly the size of a spear shaft. "Okay."

* * *

Princess Bubblegum sits upon her throne, alone, amid the crumbling ruins of the Candy Kingdom. Her face is buried in her hands.

"Why are we still going through this?" She asks herself. Her voice rings with indignation through the empty chamber. "How many  **times**  can we destroy that scrat-head Lich before he finally stops crawling his way back into my Kingdom?"

The monarch slams a fist down in frustration and the candy-cane armrest underneath crumbles away easily at the impact. She sighs and gets up.

' _No use sitting around here complaining, though. Need to regroup with the others.'_

Walking towards the main doorway, a crowd of half-melted candy citizens emerges from the walls. Each has her face instead of their own. They approach, staring at her silently as she passes.

"Yeah, yeah," she says without even stopping to look at them. "It's all a  _big_  projection of my personal fears and anxieties. I've seen this stupid dream shtick before. But, right now, I've more important things to deal with than some shallow, haunted-house interpretation of my psyche."

Upon reaching the dilapidated chocolate doors of the candy foyer, Princess Bubblegum raises a leg and kicks hard against the paneling.

"HYYAH!"

The door falls forward, splitting off its frame before crumbling to dust against the stairs at the entryway. She steps through and looks out across the nightmare facsimile of her kingdom.

Except, instead of the straight shot to the castle gates, as she was expecting, Princess Bubblegum is greeted by the sight of a massive labyrinth of candy houses and high candy walls twisting out before her. She lets out another exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, alright. Nice use of irony, you stupid Lich."

* * *

"Bonnie!"

There is no response but her own echo as Marceline trudges through the hypogean recesses of the Candy Kingdom's sewer system. She had made frequent use of them and the tunnels further out, back when she first stumbled upon the Kingdom in its infancy some 700 years ago. The darkness provided plenty of shelter during the day and the red sap from Bubblegum's brother (not that she was aware of him at the time) had made for a reliable, if bland, source of food. Though, back then, she had no way of knowing whether the candy people, or their mysterious ruler, would try to kill her if she were discovered. Her need for the sewer tunnels eventually waned once she'd made peace with them, but she never forgot the layout. Just in case things changed.

This sewer, however, was not the one she remembered. The familiar routes were twisted and elongated, all looping back in on each other like a giant, non-Euclidean spiral. She couldn't transform, either. If only she could find some small break in the masonry or a ventilation shaft leading towards the surface, she'd have a chance of finding her bearings and, then, her friends.

"Why seek a way out? Sewers are where all the vermin of this world belong: the rats, the roaches, and, often enough, even leeches."

The vampire queen whirls around at the voice to see the Lich's face grinning out at her from the gloom in the far end of the tunnel.

"I'm gonna rip off those horns and put 'em through your nose hole!" Marceline snarls, rushing at him.

"Not likely."

The Lich clutches his hand into a fist and the tunnel contracts around Marceline, encasing her all the way up to her shoulders. She struggles with all her might, but she's firmly pinned within the brickwork.

"Daughter of Abadeer."

"If you know who my father is, then you should also know what he'll do to you if he finds out you hurt a hair on his precious daughter's head."

"I am aware," He replies calmly, approaching her. "One of many reasons why I have refrained from killing you and your friends outright. But his paternal protection will keep me at bay for only so long."

Taking her chin in his hand, the Lich tilts her face to the side and leans in to examine the bite makes on her neck. Marceline can smell the reek of decay, thick upon his bones.

"Hey! Hands off!"

"An extraordinary feat of willpower to deny your vampiric instincts for so long," he puts two fingers on her neck, one over each tooth mark. "Especially considering the one that dwells inside of you. What say I let you indulge yourself for once, my dear? You may find the experience  _liberating_."

"No."

The Lich forces her gaze back up to his once more – a dead smile wide across his skull. "Yes."

Green energy pulses from the Lich's fingers and travels directly into Marceline's neck. The vampire girl shrieks as the dark magic scorches through her veins like boiling quicksilver. Her head pounds, her vision swims, and her teeth and limbs begin to grow.

And then she feels it.

She feels that thirst – the collective, centuries-old thirst of an immortal race – come roaring forth from deep down inside the locked pit of her soul.

"B-bl…"

The Lich steps back, looking on in interest as the wall binding his captive begins to chip and crack around her quickly expanding frame.

"Bloo…"

Marceline grits her teeth as she wrestles to regain control of herself. But she can't hold out. The savage wail is already rising like bile to the top of her throat.

" **BLOOOOOO** **OOOOD** **!** "

The brickwork bursts around her and the vampire's new form spills out within the dark tunnel.

"Feeding time, oh Queen of Vampires," the Lich speaks as he fades back into the shadows.

Marceline snorts, her snout taking in even the faintest scents from miles around. She smells something living nearby, above; it's familiar, sweet, and full. Her jaws open, fangs lengthening in hunger.

* * *

Nurse Pound Cake, Princess Doctor, and Dr. Ice Cream work in tandem to carefully unload the four unconscious bodies from Jake's back, quickly transferring them to their designated hospital beds. His role complete, Jake stretches back to normal and looks on anxiously from the sidelines as his brother and their friends are hooked up to a variety of monitoring equipment.

"Good evening, Mister Jake."

Startled, Jake jumps and turns to see Peppermint Butler standing by his side. "Oh, hey, Peps. Uh, I guess you caught wind of the whole mess, huh?"

"Yes, the suit's AI notified me of the Princess' condition and I began making preparations right away." He holds up a duffel bag filled with tombs, scrolls, talismans, and other supernatural paraphernalia.

"Cool! You can snap everyone out of it?"

"There's a chance I might be able to help, but this is the Lich we're dealing with here. I'm punching far above my weight against this caliber of dark art." He approaches Princess Bubblegum's bedside. "Nevertheless, I am honor bound as a butler to serve my Lady and those important to her, no matter the odds."

Peppermint Butler sets the bag down, digging out a meditation mat shaped like a large flower and several candles. "I will begin the ritual shortly," he proclaims, rolling out the mat. He then sets to organizing an intricate ring of lit candles, books, and scrolls around it.

The gem in Jake's hand blinks on, projecting the Bubblegum AI in front of him once more. "You can let him take it from here, Jake. As much as the Princess distrusts magic, she  _does_  trust Peppermint Butler's expertise whenever dealing with such matters. And there's more for us to do, besides."

"Okay. I'm game for whatever helps wake up everyone and keeps the Lich down. What's next?"

"Projections indicate that there are two likely targets for the Lich to choose between upon his revival: his well of power or the Candy Kingdom. With the destruction of both Gumball Guardians, the Candy Kingdom's current defenses are critically compromised. As such, it falls to you, Jake the dog, to activate the Royal Aegis system. Under my authority as a certified backup Bubblegum Personality, you are hereby granted temporary  _Retter_  Class access to all protective functions. Please proceed to the core control room when you are ready."

Jake blinks. "And where is that, exactly?"

"Jake, you've been there before. Lots of times."

"What do you want from me, VPB? I can hardly keep track of the hundreds of rooms and secret rooms the real PB has built into this place!"

"Okay! Calm down and I'll get you a map."

A layout of the castle pops up in the virtual princess' place with an icon of Jake's face in the medical bay area and a star icon at their location up in the main tower.

"That's more like it."

Following the screen's suggested directions, Jake moves back out into the castle hallways.

"What's the over-under on us kicking the Lich's can this time, VPB? I'd say pretty good once we get everyone awake."

"Uncertain, Jake. All projected probability distributions for success continue to shift rapidly. The Lich fusing with another version of himself was never a parameter in any of our predictive models. We have no way of judging his current threat level compared to previous encounters."

Jake frowns. "That didn't sound very good at all."

"It's not. But it's the reason why we're enacting Princess Bubblegum's primary backup plan."

"Well, can we take a break for lunch at some point? Or maybe some snacks, at least? All this running around is wearing me out."

"No. The security of the Candy Kingdom is my current priority over any and all rumbly tumblies in the vicinity."

"Aww man," Jake whines, extending up a long flight of stairs. "I'm missing pizza-brunch leftovers with Lady for this hot mess!"

"Deal with it."

* * *

Princess Bubblegum stops in front of yet another crossroad somewhere deep within the labyrinth. She groans and blindly takes the path to the right. Frankly, she was well past the point of caring which direction she was heading in. There was no point in trying to solve a maze logically while trapped in a dream. That fact, alone, was enough to make her blood boil.

' _Of all the stupid terrors, traps, or challenges the Lich could've stuck me with, he had to make it the most brainless, monotonous puzzle ever devised.'_

Seething, the monarch storms down corridor after corridor as she waits for the Lich to finally show himself. She rounds a corner and runs face-first into another dead end for what feels like the hundredth time since she began.

"RRRGH!"

Her hands curl into fists and she slams one into the wall as hard as she can.

"Lich! Get out here and  **fight me**!"

Nothing.

"Uff," Princess Bubblegum tilts listlessly to the side and plants her back against the wall next to her. Slowly, the gum girl slides down until she's sitting with her thighs up against her chest. She wraps her arms around her knees and presses her face into them.

' _I wish Marcy were here.'_

Almost as though in mockery of her silent plea, a loud rumble rises from somewhere below her. She straightens and grins.

"Finally!"

She makes to stand up but is immediately thrown over as the floor bursts open in front of her. Recovering from the shock, Bubblegum quickly rolls onto her back and props herself up on her elbows. A dark mass emerges from the hole.

"Alright, Lich, you've made your big, menacing entrance. Now what?" She sits back up. "I know you can't kill me yet, so you could've saved us both some trouble by having me stand in an imaginary waiting ro-"

Princess Bubblegum's derisive tone dies in her throat as the dust around the new arrival begins to settle. It's not the Lich; it's a beast - a massive fusion of a dragon and lion with a lengthy, raven-black mane, spiraled ram horns, and leathery wings flaring out of its back.

The creature is not even completely out of its hole and, already, it towers above Princess Bubblegum. It arches its long, crane-like neck, baring a seemingly endless row of fangs as it fixes upon her with a merciless look in its eyes. A pair of brilliant turquoise eyes.

"M-Marcy?" Princess Bubblegum's voice is barely above a whisper.

Before she can manage to do anything else, there is a strange noise from within the dead end next to her. She looks and sees the wall fold in on itself to reveal a square hole. Peppermint Butler is standing on the other side.

"My liege! Get in!"

"Peps? How did-"

Her loyal servant doesn't wait for her to finish the question. He grabs her by the arm and yanks her through the opening mere seconds ahead of Monster Marceline's jaws as they come crashing into the exact spot PB had been sitting. Princess Bubblegum watches her lover gnashing against the candy-concrete, dazed in disbelief over what the vampire has become.

"We have to run, now!"

"But, Marcy…she's hurting; I can see it."

"We can't help her here, Your Highness. And if we die in this dream, we'll slip further under the Lich's influence." He pulls her to her feet (or tries to, given his height disadvantage). "We need to move. Please."

Princess Bubblegum squeezes her eyes shut, still hearing Marceline's frenzied cries as she claws at the wall. She nods and stands up.

"Okay, let's go."

They turn and start running down the corridor. Marceline's wails grow increasingly frantic the further they go.

"How did you get in here, Peps?"

"I've projected myself into your dream through a very specific blend of ritual chants and dark meditation."

"Okay, sure. I guess there was no way that answer was going to come out sounding real. But now that you're here, can you get us out?"

"Not on my own. The Lich's hold over your mind is far too strong for me to break."

Princess Bubblegum and Peppermint Butler hear a loud crash from behind them. They start running faster.

"Hoh boy, Marcy's already through! What's the plan, then?"

"We need to reach Huntress Wizard! Her magic combined with mine would allow us to create a bridge between the waking world and this one." Peppermint Butler stops and puts his hand to a wall, folding it into itself. "Through here!"

The pair leap though the square hole as Marceline comes tearing down the hallway they'd just left.

"Great, we're relying on even more magic bunkus to save us." Princess Bubblegum scoffs. "How are we even going to find her if we're stuck in this maze?"

They pick up their pace again.

"I can sense her dream-self's magical presence. I'm leading us in her direction."

"It's better than nothing, I suppose. Marceline won't still be in monster mode once we wake up, will she?"

Peppermint Butler pants as he tries to keep up with Princess Bubblegum's longer strides. *Huff* "I really," *huff* " **really**  hope not, Your Highness."

* * *

The shaft of bone lances straight through the heads of another pair of mutants, pining them to the trunk of a nightmare tree. Huntress Wizard deftly ducks a swipe from her right and tears another bone off a low-hanging maggot bough as she races forward. Luckily, weapons were never difficult to come by for someone of her martial skill. And, as terrifying as they were to look at, these 'amalgams' (for that's what she had decided to call them) were hardly competent fighters. Their flesh was so rotten, it seemed to fall apart into a pus-filled slush against any attack.

Not so lucky was the fact that their ranks had only continued to swell, even at the rate she had been dropping them. If she doesn't find a way to escape the hoard soon, they will eventually overrun her and pick her apart piece by piece.

Huntress Wizard jabs the end of her bone staff into the belly of the amalgam closest to her. She hefts the vile thing up, impaling it further, and then twirls around before slinging it off into a crowd of its fellows. They explode into a pile of gelatinous gore.

The pull of the eldritch energy signature she had felt earlier was growing steadily stronger as she progressed through the thicket, however. She was almost upon it, in fact.

Suddenly, she feels a tug against her neck. The nymph turns in alarm to see an amalgam emerge from the ground directly underneath, claws sinking down into her cloak.

"Meat."

"Rrrgh! Let go!"

As Huntress Wizard struggles to break its hold, something sharp rakes across her back. Dozens of amalgams issue up from the dirt and mud all around her. They pull her down in an instant, slathering and slopping around on top of her like a mindless, hungry swarm of flies. She feels them tearing away at her armor and any exposed flesh that they can find. Beneath the bite of claws, the stench of gangrene, and the constant refrain of 'meat' ringing within her ears, HW tightens her grip around the smooth bone in her hand. Ignoring the pain, HW snaps the staff in half to create a pair of dagger-like stakes.

Then she sets to work.

Huntress Wizard launches a frenzied flurry of stabs, jabs, gouges, and kicks (even a few bites) against the loathsome, dripping things piling atop her. They burst against her onslaught, dousing her in spatters of phlegm and pus. She cuts a swathe through their numbers regardless: up through all the claws and teeth bearing down against her. After seemingly endless fighting, though, Huntress Wizard erupts from the pulpy mound of corpses left in her path.

"You want to eat ME?!" She roars. "I'M HUNTRESS WIZARD!  _ **I**_  KILL;  _ **I**_  EAT!" She takes a defensive stance and levels one of the stakes at the remaining amalgams around her. "And my quarry gets eaten."

The chant for meat finally recedes, then, like roaches fleeing the light, the last few amalgams scatter. They head off into the thicket, diving back into their burrows as quickly as they'd surfaced. Huntress Wizard is left alone, cuts and lacerations snaking out over her body, gear in tatters, and steeped in the guts of her enemies.

She knows that they didn't leave out of any sense of self-preservation. All the amalgams were just nightmare constructs, slapped together from the detritus of her fears. The real reason they had left was arriving just now.

Huntress Wizard peers into the gloom of the rotting forest, past the squirming tree trunks, and sees a giant, shadowy figure lumbering forth.

* * *

Much to Virtual Princess Bubblegum's annoyance, Jake had not, in fact, 'dealt with it' as they made their way through the castle. The stretchy dog's complaints had only grown in volume and frequency with every floor they climbed. Just before they reach the door of the core control room, Jake groans pitifully and clutches at his stomach.

"VPB…hungy."

"Jake!" The AI snaps. "The entire building is made of candy! Just take a bite of literally anything."

"Oh. Oh, yeah."

Jake leans down and takes a chomp straight out of the floor. "I gesh I got sho hungry, mah brain shtopped thinking good for a minute." He says, talking around two cheeks full of meringue.

"Now, will you please focus for one minute and activate the defense protocol?"

"Oh, I'll activate it, but I ain't focusing on nothin'."

They move to open the door, but two banana guards cross their spears.

"Hold up, Jake. You're our buddy, but Princess told us not to let anyone in here unless she was with them. That goes for you, too."

The Virtual Princess Bubblegum enlarges her screen and glares at the two guards. "I've given Jake authorization to enter, now stand down Banana Guards 403 and 405."

"Princess, is that you? Word around the castle is that you're in a sleep trance. How'd you get out?"

VPB takes a deep breath and exhales through her nose. "Okay. Remember right before you were going to fight Uncle Gumbald a few months ago, when Princess Bubblegum gathered all the guards into the courtyard?"

The two guards glance at one another.

"During it, the princess explained to you guys that, in case she was rendered unconscious or unable to perform her duties during battle, she had created AIs of her personality to take control of the kingdom while she recovered. Well, I'm one of those AIs and I say Jake gets to go through."

"Honestly, I think I fell asleep during that presentation." 405 says.

403 nods. "I payed Starchy to dress up like me and take my place so I could go rollerblading. But, y'know, if the princess  _did_  make a bunch of AIs of herself and wanted one in charge, how do we know which one of them gets the throne?"

"Unbelievable. Look, just let Jake thr-"

"Wait, I thought Lemongrab was the one who got the throne if PB couldn't do her princess duties."

"Nah, man, he has his own kingdom to run now. You can't be ruler of two kingdoms at once."

"Oh yeah, I guess that sorta makes sense."

"Still, couldn't a princess AI eventually become a different personality, apart from Princess Bubblegum? And how does the real Princess Bubblegum know enough about how her own subconscious works to account for it in a simulated personality? I think that we should-"

"Hey, guys, can I interrupt y'all for one sec?"

"Oh, sure, Jake. What is it?"

Jake stretches a hand up to both guards' heads and rams them into each other, knocking them out.

"I'm sorry VPB, but I would've passed out listening to all that boring 'definition of conscience' junk."

"No, Jake, you did the right thing. Now, please, let's get inside."

They move into the room, which is filled with high-tech monitoring equipment, screens displaying video feeds across the kingdom's perimeter, and rows of consoles laden with switches and glowing buttons. Over by the monitors is a chair with a gently snoring banana guard in it. VPB directs Jake toward a particularly complex-looking console sitting in the room's far corner.

"Insert me into the slot at the top-right corner there."

He does as he's told, sliding the crystal into a small socket. It locks perfectly into place.

"Flip the three red switches located right below me."

"'Kay."

Jake continues to follow along with the complex sequence of steps that the AI provides until, finally, the entire console whirs to life at his fingertips.

"Good, now, say the following code phrase:  _Himmlisch_  –  _Süßigkeiten_  –  _Bewahren uns_."

"Uh, that's gonna take me a few tries, Vpeebs."

"The Lich could have already made it through the gates by now, Jake!"

"Okay! Geez." Jake clears his throat. "Him-lick, Susie-Kite-In, Beaver-in uns."

VPB stares at Jake with a baffled expression then puts a digital hand to her digital face.

"What?"

"Gob, why did she program me to feel irritation?" She shakes her head. "Aside from it being terrible, nothing. But close enough, I guess. Authorization received. Commencing Royal Aegis activation protocol."

Around them, the air sharpens as electricity surges through a large Tesla coil that runs from the floor to the ceiling at the center of the room. A low mechanical hum rises from somewhere down in the bowels of the castle.

The hum cuts off abruptly. Jake looks over to the monitors and watches as a giant, bubblegum-pink forcefield shimmers into existence around the kingdom's outer walls.

"Woah."

"Aegis startup complete; shields running at full power. And no perimeter breaches detected." VPB announces. "Good job, Jake. That should keep the Lich out of our hair for a while longer."

Jake grabs a hunk of the wall next to him and stuffs it in his mouth. "Okay, but what now?"

"Now? Now, we make some calls."

* * *

"This last one should put us just outside of your dream sphere, Your Highness." Peppermint Butler says as he folds back the wall.

Princess Bubblegum steps through and finds that her friend is right. The endless twists of the labyrinth had finally given way to a small stretch of barren fields which lead into the edge of what looks like a forest. A small feeling of cautious relief washes over her at the welcome change of scenery. Peppermint Butler squeezes through the hole from behind and, together, they start running again.

She glances warily behind them. No sign of Marcy's blood-starved visage or the cacophony of shrieks and scraping claws that accompanied her malformed lover. In fact, there hadn't been any trace of Marcy for some time now.

"You think we actually gave Marcy the slip, Peps?"

"I sincerely hope so, Your Magnificence. It's over if she catches us."

"I just wish we could have done anything to help her."

"We will. So long as we reach Huntress Wizard, we can all make it out of-."

Several large craters smash into the earth directly in front of the pair. Princess Bubblegum jumps backward, barely managing to keep on her feet against the blast. Peppermint Butler, however, is thrown violently to the side.

Marceline's titanic form reappears as she drops her invisibility, looming dreadfully over them once more. She must have flown after them once they'd left the labyrinth.

"Peppermint Butler: Run, now." Princess Bubblegum gives the command coolly, without breaking eye contact with Marceline.

"But, Princess-"

"She's not after you, Pep-But; you don't have blood. Find Huntress Wizard and get us the heck out of here. I'll keep her busy for as long as I can."

Peppermint Butler rises to his feet. "Y-yes, Your Magnificence."

"Good luck, my beautiful boy."

The most faithful of all her children, with tears in his eyes, turns and runs off towards the tree line as fast as his little legs can carry him. Now on her own, the candy monarch begins moving carefully backwards. Marceline, in turn, stalks forward – her muscles tense like a snake about to strike.

Slowly, Princess Bubblegum takes the excess length of her hair into her arms and tears it off, creating a large sheet of gum.

A blast of steamy air escapes from the beast's snout.

"Marcy…don't."

The monster in Marceline doesn't listen. She opens her maw and, with fangs glistening, lunges at her prey.

But it's exactly what PB expects of a mindless beast to do. She jumps as high as she can, scarcely avoiding the vampire girl's terrible jaws, and lands on her snout. Wasting no time, Princess Bubblegum mashes the gum into Marceline's nostrils, then runs up and plants it around her eyes before stretching it further until it tangles into her mane.

Blinded, the bestial Marceline shrieks and claws at her face. Unable to free herself from the gummy mess, she resorts to thrashing around on the ground while Princess Bubblegum hangs for dear life onto a tuft of hair just behind one of her ears. Eventually, though, Marceline's fit runs out of steam. She lies in the dirt, afterward, panting and whining like a dog denied a treat.

Princess Bubblegum gently shifts over to her girlfriend's ear, petting her head as she hums a soft melody into it. She sings:

" _Ooh, dear love of mine;_

_Find your way back to me;_

_Offer me a pale cheek;_

_And give me your lips;_

_Cold as they may be._

_Show me the light in your eyes;_

_As they catch me just so;_

_Oh, let me hear the joy in your voice;_

_Sweeter than any candy;_

_That I could ever know._

_And even if you are too tired;_

_To stand or to speak;_

_I'll be there to see the real you;_

_No matter how broken;_

_And no matter how weak._

_Oh, dear love of mine;_

_This time you've drifted;_

_Nearly too far away;_

_Find your way back;_

_Here, again to my arms;_

_Oh, then promise me;_

_Promise, once more, that you'll stay."_

As the song ends, Princess Bubblegum is no longer holding onto the pelt of a giant beast but spooned against the back of her familiar vampire queen.

"That," Marceline speaks as she picks some of the gum off her face, "was a really lame song, Bonnie."

Princess Bubblegum blushes. "Give me a break, I'm not a master lyricist like some people. It was the best I could think of on the spot."

"Whatever it was, it needs work, but it also saved me. So, thanks, 'dear love of mine'." She turns over and embraces the gum girl, kissing her fiercely.

PB returns the kiss just as hard, thankful to have her troublesome little brat of a bat back in her arms.

* * *

Heavy footfalls shake the land as the giant plods steadily towards her. Grub-flesh trees uproot and split open against its hulking mass, spilling their foul-smelling cores across the thicket. Huntress Wizard watches undaunted atop her hill of slain foes. As far as she's concerned, it's just another big bad beastie keeping her from rescuing Finn and her friends. She'd put it down too, just like all the other 'mighty predators' that had ever made the grave mistake of confusing her with prey.

It wanders into view and Huntress Wizard finally gets a good look at the colossus. Its body is an orcish mass of muscle interspersed with long, bony barbs jutting out along its forearms and shoulders. A heavy, white great bascinet helmet encompasses its head. Behind it is an immense hunk of sharpened steel attached to its elbow, scrapping a deep furrow into the earth as it's dragged along.

It stops at the edge of the body pile and looms over her. A metallic growl reverberates from within the confines of its helmet. "RRR-ARRRR…"

She takes a light crouching position and stares back up at it defiantly, her bone stakes at the ready in each hand.

"ARRRRRR!"

With a blistering fast swipe, the girder-like blade careens toward her from the side. Huntress Wizard is well prepared, though. She dives off the mound, allowing the monster's attack to sail right overhead. As soon as she hits the ground, she rolls and dashes forward before leaping up onto the closest leg she can reach. She jabs the ends of her stakes deep into its flesh, using them as climbing picks to work her way further up it's thigh.

The nymph isn't planning on scaling the entire monster, however. She gives one of her makeshift picks a particularly violent twist and girds herself as soon as she hears the beast release a howl of pain. Its hand swoops from above to swat at her, but Huntress Wizard thrusts one of her stakes up into its palm and digs it in as far as it can go.

"AAAAAAARRRR!"

The giant's hand flinches up in pain, carrying Huntress along with it. She uses the motion to catapult herself further upward and lands atop its helmet.

"Now, let's get this thing open so you can show me all of that soft, stabbable neck meat you're hiding."

She slides down to the rounded visor below her, just above the eye slots. Acting quickly, Huntress Wizard tears off the last remaining shreds of her cloak and jams the tattered rags into them. Blinded, the giant flails and claws around the slots, trying to grab her. Huntress Wizard uses the distraction to climb further down the muzzle to a small latch at the base of the helmet. She lifts the catch and then flings the visor wide open, ready to stab whatever is on the other side of it.

Instead of a monster, the warped but immediately recognizable face of her lover greets her from within the helmet. He regards her with a grim, glassy look in his eyes.

"Finn?!"

" **AAARRR** " Finn roars. He grabs her by the torso and plucks her off his helmet.

"Finn! No! Wake up!"

Finn doesn't listen. He holds his girlfriend up and begins to squeeze.

"F-Finn…"

Huntress Wizard can feel her bones straining and the air pushing out from her lungs as his fingers slowly constrict around her chest and shoulders. Desperation filling her head, she takes the only option left available to her. Huntress Wizard leans down and bites as hard as she can. The taste of human flesh and warm blood fills her mouth.

Colossal Finn shrieks and opens his hand. Huntress Wizard leaps out of his grasp and moves further up his arm. Then she leans down and bites into his skin again.

Shouting out more pained shrieks, but unable to grab her with his sword arm, Finn brings his forearm up to his mouth and attempts to bite her off. This time, the wood nymph doesn't hesitate. She jumps to avoid Finn's gnashing jaws, squeezes past his cheek, and slips down into the recess underneath his chin. It's dark, cramped, and smells thickly of sweat within the throat guard, but Huntress Wizard manages to worm her way around to the back of Finn's neck.

' _Please still be there, please still be there. Aha!"_

She reaches through the darkness and pulls out thick curtains of long, blond hair. Wrapping several loops of it around each arm, she begins crawling back around Finn's neck. She makes pass after pass, gradually tightening the noose around her transformed boyfriend's neck. Above, she can hear Finn rasping and sputtering as his breathing grows increasingly labored.

' _Just a little more…'_

Huntress takes some of the hair and ties it around one of the stakes in her hand for a makeshift handlebar. She braces her legs against a joint in the armor and then, with a mighty heave, pulls as hard as she can against the giant locks.

"RGGGGGH!"

Keeping up the pressure as best she can, Huntress focuses her hearing on Finn's carotid arteries, monitoring his pulse closely. Finn gives a massive lurch forward to his knees. The sounds of gagging and a hand clawing desperately at the outside of the throat guard are heartrending. A mixture of tears and mucus trickles down on her from his chin above. Her heart and conscience scream at her in unison to free him from the pain she is causing him. Yet, through it all, Huntress Wizard's focus never wavers. She listens to Finn's hero heart, carefully keeping track as each beat starts to slip further and further from the next. At last, she feels Finn give another lurch. A great shudder rattles through the interior of the helmet, followed by the explosive 'clang' of metal into dirt.

As soon as she recollects her bearings, Huntress Wizard releases the handlebar in her hands and quickly loosens the length around Finn's neck. He's still breathing, although weakly. Giving a thankful sigh in relief, the forest nymph carefully shifts her way back across the side of Finn's face and plops out from the corner of the visor onto the ground.

Exhausted, Huntress collapses to her back with Finn face-down next to her. She lies still for a time. Then she starts to shake, and then she cries. Sharp, stuttering breaths force their way down into her chest while hot tears well up and soak into her mask. The mask grows so heavy that she peels it off her face like a damp sweat rag and casts it aside.

"Arrrt-raaa."

Wiping her eyes against her forearm, she turns to see that Finn had finally regained consciousness. She also realizes that he's no longer nearly as big as he once was. Slowly, he rolls his head over and looks back at her. The glassy hatred that clouded his gaze is gone, replaced now by a familiar air of righteous compassion.

"F-Finn? Are you…you, again?"

The human boy's monstrous features and proportions continue to shrink and restore themselves rapidly before her: the bony spines along his body recede, the heavy helmet upon his brow reverts to a bear hat, and his sword arm reforms into a normal bionic limb. After a while, it's just regular Finn lying next to her again.

He gasps and coughs, then props himself up slightly.

"Yeah," he speaks at last, rubbing his neck. His voice is hoarse and throaty. "Yeah, it's me, Artra."

"Oh, THANK GLOB!"

Huntress lunges forward and latches against Finn in a tight hug.

"I had to – I had to almost…I'm sorry!"

He cradles Huntress Wizard and runs his fingers soothingly through her hair-leaves. Her face is wet against his neck.

"It's okay, Huntress. It's okay. You did what you had to do, and it worked." He lifts her head back up and kisses her. She clings to him and kisses back. The effort squeezes more tears out of her eyes.

When they separate, Finn looks her over and starts at what he sees. "Huntress, your mask! You're not wearing it."

As if realizing it herself for the first time, Huntress Wizard blushes and quickly claps a hand over her eyes and forehead. She pulls away from their embrace, looking about to see where she threw it.

"Don't look, Finn. Let me just…darn it! Where the honk is it?"

Finn cups his hands around her face, gently pulling her attention back to him. He then takes her hand in his and lowers it away from her forehead. Three large scar marks run from the top left corner of her leaf-hairline, down across the bridge of her nose, and just past her eyes.

"T-they're ugly. I don't want-"

Ignoring her anxiety driven self-putdown, Finn cuts her off as he leans forward and places another kiss square on her forehead. He leans his forehead against hers and murmurs "Beautiful."

They sit there, holding hands and nuzzling into one another for several long minutes. They only separate when they notice a voice calling out in the distance.

"Huntress Wizard!"

They look to the trees behind them and see Peppermint Butler emerge at a full sprint towards them.

Finn leaps up to his feet at his approach. "Pep-But! Man, am I happy to see you!"

"Yes, Mister Mertens, glad tidings all around, but it's Miss Wizard that I must speak with immediately."

"My schedule's wide open, Candy Man," Huntress Wizard retorts. "I assume you're here to pull us all out?"

"Correct, but I will need your help to augment the hex-breaking spell and my link to the waking world. We need to hurry, though. The Princess and Miss Abadeer are still in peril. Come, Miss Wizard: give me your hands."

Peppermint Butler holds out his hands. Huntress Wizard takes them and kneels before him.

"Mr. Mertens, the Lich's dream hex will realize that its grip around us is slipping as soon as we begin, and it will try to reinforce itself. You will need to help protect me and Huntress Wizard from any dangers as best you can until the ritual is complete."

"You have my word," Finn says, taking a fighting stance in front of them.

"Excellent. Now, Miss Wizard: begin by repeating my incantation.

_Here, astride a dire curse and a dream;_

_I call upon the darkly dreaming kings and their queens;_

_Of all things arcane, deep, and even deeper;_

_Who go without name and go without number;_

_I call upon them to reveal the hidden, moonlit seams;_

_Shorn upon the depths of their infinite slumber;_

_Which contains within it every sleeper;_

_Resting here and there between;_

_Render our escape from out this silent sea._ "

Huntress Wizard matches Peppermint Butler word for word and, after several repetitions, the two quickly fall into a trance-like state together. They continue to chant in a guttural, sing-song language while a dark flame ignites around them in a circle. Finn can't watch for long, however, as Peppermint's prediction quickly comes to pass. The dreamscape about them gives a heave and ripples outward, opening several fissures across the twisted landscape. Like termites from the woodwork, the muddled mixtures of their nightmares come crawling out: melting candy people with Lich faces, Liches with Princess Bubblegum faces, amalgam zombies with lion and bat parts, among a host of other aberrations shambling towards them.

Looking at them all, Finn feels a cold sweat down the back of his neck. "Uh, guys, I'm a good fighter and all, but I'm not so sure I can take these things on at once."

Peppermint Butler and Huntress Wizard pause their chanting and the two speak in tandem. "Worry not, Finn. We offer you our aid."

They resume their chant and the circle of dark flames around the pair expands outward past Finn and the nightmare creatures.

"We have retaken a small portion of the dreamscape. The twin arms of imagination and fantasy are now at your command."

"Imagination?" Finn looks down at his torn and ragged clothes. "Well, some decent battle armor would be nice."

In a flash, a full set of pristine mithril-carbide plate armor appears around him. Finn's eyes light up. "And an enchanted chainsaw-sword! With teeth made from…uh, unicorn horns!"

The requested item appears in his hand, the motor already rumbling to life. Finn holds down the trigger on the hilt and the chain whirrs about with lethal speed. "Aww, heck  **yes**!"

Emboldened by the new gear, Finn belts out a battle cry and charges into the first wave as it crashes against him. The whirling chain shreds through the horrors about him with ease, while the armor renders any attacks that they manage to get through virtually harmless. Swing after swing, swaths of them continue to fall before the hero as more pile in to take their place.

In due course, however, the sheer quantity of enemies begins to gum up his saw and pushes Finn backward.

"Okay, okay, I want laser vision!"

Two red beams shoot out of Finn's eyes, plowing into the swarming hordes and slicing through any nightmare entities in its path.

"GAH!" Finn screams, "TOO BRIGHT! I CAN'T SEE!"

Frantically, the young hero tries to direct his deadly gaze into where it sounds like most of his targets are gathered. It somewhat works. Dozens of nightmares are slain in a single sweep of his head. Many more, however, avoid his blind fire and use the opportunity to tackle Finn to the ground from behind.

"Enough with the eye lasers!"

His vision returns to normal, but only in time to be obscured by an array of claws, jaws, and fists raining down upon him. While his armor protects him from any wounds, the hailstorm of blows battering against his entire body makes it impossible to concentrate long enough to summon any other imaginary powers to his aid.

"Guys!" Finn shouts, not knowing whether Huntress Wizard or Peppermint Butler can still hear him. "I donked up! I need help!"

He attempts to lift his sword, but something knocks it out of his hand.

"ANYONE!" He cries, raising an arm up through the pile of nightmares atop him. "HELP!"

He feels someone grab his arm and lift him from his attackers. At first, Finn thinks that it's Huntress Wizard come to his rescue. As he's finally plucked free, though, he sees Marceline smirking down at him.

"Oh man, thanks, Marcy! I really slopped up down there."

"No problem, hero. Nice duds, by the way."

"We gotta get back down there, though! Huntress and Pep-But are sitting ducks without us!"

"Already on it."

She points down to where Huntress Wizard and Peppermint Butler are magically communed. A massive steel entrenchment, fortified with laser repeater turrets, has sprung up around them. The turrets are firing away at full force, instantly mowing down the mobs of nightmare entities upon their approach.

"Oh, wow. I should've thought of something like that."

Marceline flies Finn back down to their friends' position. There, they find Princess Bubblegum sitting at an exquisitely set table, daintily sipping from a cup of tea. An imaginary Marceline stands behind her, providing the gum girl a relaxing shoulder rub while dressed as a maid.

"You are so pretty and intelligent, Bonnie," The imaginary Marceline speaks. "I am honored to be your girlfriend. From now on, I will totally not suck out all the pink from your hair while you're sleeping so that you look like a grandma once you wake up. I also promise not to practice my base as loudly as possible while you're trying to calibrate all of your delicate lab equipment."

"Hey!" Marceline shouts, pointing at the fake Marceline. "I did  _not_  consent to that!"

"Shhh. Let me dream a little longer, Marcy."

"Oh? Well, two can play at that game."

The vampire queen shuts her eyes and massages her temples. An imaginary Princess Bubblegum pops into existence next to her wearing a sexy bikini.

"Hello, Marcy," She purrs, draping her arms lasciviously around Marceline. "You are so talented at music and also  _very_  cool. I promise I won't try to secretly take blood samples from you for my immortality experiments, and I'll finally admit that I secretly love it whenever you suck the pink out of me. Especially when it's straight from my bright, pink-"

"Okay!" Princess Bubblegum exclaims, cutting off her fantasy double. The imaginary Marceline disappears with a 'poof'. "There, are you happy?"

Marceline giggles, dismissing her own version of PB. "Yes. Thank you, Bonnie."

Chuckling at the two's antics, Finn turns his attention to Huntress Wizard and Peppermint Butler still hunched and chanting away.

"So, how long do you think it'll take them to break the spell?"

"I'm not sure. Hopefully, they can get us out of here before the Lich does whatever he intends to do back in the real world." Princess Bubblegum takes a cucumber sandwich from the three-tiered cake stand at the center of the table. "In the meantime, though, how about we all have a nice, relaxing imaginary tea party?"

Finn and Marceline exchange a glance and shrug before claiming their seats at the table. Together, the trio enjoy a delightful assortment of teas, sweets, and sandwiches, all set against the din of heavy laser fire and wailing nightmare creatures.


	8. Chapter 8

Out upon the Badlands, the Lich glides silently through the windswept carcass of a once sprawling human metropolis, now mostly swallowed by the baking desert sands. What little life there is in the vicinity withers upon his passing. Even vultures and crows, drawn from afar by the stench of rot, fall dead from the sky as soon as they draw too close. He soars past the crumbling husks of skyscrapers, his eyes fastened on the dappled gleam of sunlight which marks the surface of the lake on the horizon. 

Across that vast tract of a wasteland, the Lich finds no mighty heroes to challenge him this time: no knights brandishing legendary weaponry, no princesses at the helms of great armies, nor any plucky children with magical animal familiars at their beck. Only the dunes and a few corroded remnants of a bygone civilization rise to greet him before he finally touches down near the entrance of a certain subway system. Were the Lich not beyond such sentimental mortal minutiae, he would have found the situation laughably anticlimactic given all his past efforts to arrive at this very moment. All the same, the undead necromancer knows that he can’t risk growing too overconfident at this stage. He needs to progress quickly to ensure he arrives at the final phase of his plan.

Gazing down at the subway entrance, he sees that a thick slab of candy-steel has been welded over it. A variety of warning signs cover the metal surface, as well.

 _“_ Hmm, sealing the well off, Princess? How little you must still think of me. Though, we both know you have your own dark temptations to fend off after our brief time together.”

The Lich creates a bolt of necrotic energy in his hand and plunges it into the steel plate. He can feel several magical wards surrounding it, but his amplified power easily pierces them. The barricade melts away and the Lich starts his descent.

Down the stairs, down past the mangled subway cars and rusted pipelines, he slips ever deeper into the moldering innards of that forsaken rail system. At its bottom, the green, mutagenic glow of the well receives him like an old friend.

“Ah, there you are.”

He lands at the fount’s edge and kneels low before it, almost as though in reverence to its ceaselessly churning contents. The Lich takes a moment to draw in the thick fumes billowing up from its surface, before whispering a series of incantations and thrusting both arms down into the liquid. It travels up his arms, suffusing his bones with even greater eldritch energies. The flames within his eye sockets blaze higher and brighter than ever, while even more green flames emerge along the cracks in his skull.  

“Hnnn. Heh heheh aahahahahahaaa **haaa**! So **close** now, so close to ending it once and for all!”

* * *

Flame Princess stands irritably at the front of the crowded candy foyer with a veritable who’s who of Ooo royalty, champions, and notable personalities gathered around her: Canyon, Susan Strong (with Frieda sitting on her shoulders), Aunt Lolly, Lemongrab, Jungle Princess, Lady Rainicorn (with BMO and NEPTR riding on her back) and the pups, just to name a few. Even Lumpy Space Princess was here, floating around a foot above her, though FP doubts that she had been directly invited. Everyone else she’d talked to so far told her roughly the same story: they’d either received or heard about a sudden call from Jake the dog saying that the entirety of Ooo was in grave danger, yet again, and for everyone to haul their buns to the Candy Kingdom for an emergency meet up.

It certainly spoke to Jake’s immensely likable personality that he could rally so many far-flung allies from around Ooo with just a few phone calls. Nevertheless, they’d been standing around for over an hour, now, and Flame Princess was getting tired of waiting. She was willing to lend a hand to Bubblegum during a crisis, but she would not have her time so flagrantly wasted. 

While Flame Princess fumes, the tip of her hair involuntarily rises up and licks up against the trash-bag dress Lumpy Space Princess’ is wearing.

“ **Aaah!** ” LSP yelps, jolting away. She looks down at the small singe mark on her ‘dress’ and shoots daggers at the fire elemental below her. **“** Oh, lump **off** , Flame Princess!”

Hearing her name, Flame Princess breaks from her internal debate on whether she should leave and glares up at her obnoxious frenemy. “What’s _your_ problem, LSP?”

“Uh, like, everyone knows you’re way salty cuz Finn is dating Huntress Wizard; but taking all your dateless loser frustration out on my new dress ain’t doing you any favors, girl.”

The other attendees take a few prudent steps away from Flame Princess’ immediate vicinity.

“What did you say to me, YOU FLOATING PURPLE MEATBALL?!” Flame Princess shrieks, her profile flaring jaggedly outward into its more primal fire state.

“Oh, yeah, kill the messenger, why don’t you? Everyone here was having such a great time paying attention to me and my cute dress! But now…” LSP sobs dramatically, “now, all anyone can even think about is how you had to ruin it because you’re just So. Lumping. Jealous of everyone with hot dates!”

“RRRG,” Flame Princess blazes even brighter. “I’LL EAT THE OXYGEN OUT OF YOUR LUNGS!”

Before FP can launch herself into LSP, Gridface Princess shoots out a pyramid of orange light around the ignited elemental, shielding everyone from her heat while preventing the situation from escalating any further. Lemongrab, likewise, restrains his quarrelsome girlfriend and pulls her away toward the back of the room before she can say anything else she might end up regretting.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Jake exclaims as he finally makes his entrance at the front of the room. “Chill out, y’all! I’m here, so we can get started.”

With LSP’s removal, Flame Princess appears to re-stabilize, so Gridface Princess cautiously dispels the shielding around her.

“Jake? But where’s Princess Bubblegum?” FP asks.

“Yeah,” Jungle Princess concurs. “No offense, Jake, but when you said the Candy Kingdom needed our help, I was under the impression that she’d at least show up to thank us for protecting her kingdom.”

“That’s a…” Jake rubs his temple. “That’s kinda an ongoing sitch-ee-ation we have right now. It’s also why I called, uh, most of you folks here this evening. Now, don’t everyone freak out and go all crazy or nothin’, but y’all need to know something important: The Lich is back in a big way. A mega bad way.”

Gasps and low, worried murmurs break out within the crowd at this revelation. Mostly amongst the princesses.

“And, what’s worse, he cast some sort of powerful sleep spell on Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, Finn, and Huntress Wizard. So, they’re all out of the game for now.”

The bookish figure of Simon Petrikov steps forth from the crowd, apprehension clear upon his face. “Marcy’s in trouble?”

“Simon? I sure as heck don’t remember dialing you up, pal, but I mean, they’re not in any mortal danger, now, I don’t think. If the Lich gets his way, though, it’s safe to say that we’re all gonna be staring down the barrel. That’s why, until they snap out of it, we need to combine our forces and keep the Lich from doing whatever he thinks he’s gonna do.”

Canyon raises her hand. “How are we gonna do that if we don’t know what his plan is? Do we even know where the Lich is right now?”

A bright pink rectangle several feet in area beams out from the crystal in Jake’s hand, revealing VPB once more.

“I’ll field that one, Jake. Greetings, one and all. I am a Princess Bubblegum AI specifically designed to combat the Lich in case of the Princess’ absence. Based on my projections, it is highly likely that the Lich is currently at his well of power attempting to further amplify his magical abilities.”

“Well, why don’t we all go dust him before he fully powers up?” Canyon posits.

“Unfortunately, it’s far too late to mobilize all of our forces to the Badlands for a preemptive strike. By now, he’s likely fully charged and will be making his way over here soon. Leaving our well-fortified walls to meet him at his well of power would only give him the advantage. We need to make our stand here, at the Candy Kingdom.”      

“Question:” Kim Kil Whan states. “What will stop said ‘Lich’ from taking control of our minds once he arrives?”

“An excellent question, KKW. The shield you passed through upon your arrival here acts as a physical barrier to the Lich. In addition, it emits a field out 15 yards beyond the walls that negates the effects of his psychic abilities. I must stress, however, that he will still be a devastatingly powerful foe, even without them.”

More soft murmurs drift through the crowd.

“What’s the plan, then?” Aunt Lolly asks.

“As dangerous as the Lich is, he operates much like a machine, which makes him predictable. That means there’s a high probability that he will make a straight shot to the Candy Kingdom directly from the Badlands in the South. I’ve had the banana guards preparing battle stations along the southern ramparts. All of you who are willing to fight, please allow the banana guards to escort you to a station now. I will be with you all shortly to provide more detailed commands. Everyone else, you are welcome to flee or take shelter within the castle. I highly recommend taking the latter option.”

The screen winks off and a band of banana guards files in to direct the various members of the assembly as it disperses.

“Boy,” Jungle Princess huffs, falling in stride with FP and several other fighters. “Definitely wasn’t expecting to go to battle tonight. I would’ve put on some fresh war paint, otherwise.”

“Leave it to Bubblegum to drop another big mess in our laps so we have to clean it up along with her.” Flame Princess grumbles. “She’d better be grateful once she wakes up.”

“I mean, from what I understood, this Lich guy would probably try to kill us all if we don’t band together to stop him now.” Frieda says. She looks down at Susan between her legs. “Is that right, Suze? I’m sorta out of the loop on knowing who he is, but he sounds like a top-tier baddie to me.”

“Yeah, he’s a massive genocidal gilwad. Better to take care of him now while we’re all here together.”

“But don’t you think this is major overkill?” FP asks. “Finn once told me he took this guy’s entire head off with just a balled-up sweater. How tough can something like that be? This attack could just be an excuse for her to stoke some easy ‘enemy mine’ solidarity with all of us.”

Susan shrugs. “Maybe. The Lich is still bad news either way, though. And I don’t think that Princess Bubblegum would let herself and the others fall under his spell if she’d planned any of this in advance.”

“But doesn’t it bug any of you that this is the second time in less than 5 months that we’ve had to bring everyone together to fight another ultimate threat to Ooo? And both these times we’ve all had to unite under Bonnibel’s banner without even discussing it first. Like, she just assumes that we all have to fall in line under her or else we’re as good as dead.”

“It does sound like a pretty big coincidence, now that you mention it,” Jungle Princess replies. “But Bubblegum’s reign _has_ lasted the longest out of any of us Princesses. Seems like a lot of events would tend to gravitate towards a ruler who’s been around for that long.”

“Not to mention that it makes her, simultaneously, the biggest potential threat and target of any powerful baddies looking to overrun Ooo.” Frieda points out.

“Hmm, when you put it like that, I guess so." FP admits. "I still like to think of Bonnie as my friend, despite my suspicions about her. I just wish she had more mutual respect for other kingdoms…and other people, in general. Especially when she’s asking us to put our lives on the line for her.”

The banana guards continue leading them out into the courtyards and up to the front gate where an additional contingent is waiting.

“Everyone: listen up,” one of the guards announces. “If you’re a melee fighter, follow us outside. If you specialize in long range attacks or magic casting, continue with your current escort, uh, guys.”   

“I’ll be watching over you. Be safe out there, okay?” Frieda says, leaning over and planting an inverted kiss on Susan’s lips.

Susan giggles, easily lifting her tiny girlfriend up with one hand and setting her on the ground. “Never met a problem that this beefy bod couldn’t handle.” She flexes powerfully, eliciting a hot blush from Frieda.   

Exchanging a few more goodbyes, the hand-to-hand combatants break off to the front, while the banana guards usher Flame Princess and the rest of the casters up into the battlements of the kingdom’s curtain walls.

“Let’ see,” The banana guard leading them looks down at the clipboard he’s carrying. “Princess Bubblegum’s AI thingy says that anyone who can fly should go through that hatch over there. Everyone else, take a spot by a window.”

Frieda, Grid-face Princess, Slime Princess, Abracadaniel, Life Giving Magus, and a variety of other wizards take their positions as prompted. Flame Princess and the other fliers in the group clamber up through the hatch letting them out at the top of the wall.

The evening air at their height is cool, but relatively dry and with few strong crosswinds blowing in.

 _‘Perfect for a nice, hot fire,_ ’ Flame Princess notes with just an ounce of sadistic glee in her heart. Since her earlier clash with LSP had been interrupted, she really felt like burning something down. If nothing else, the Lich would make a satisfying target for all her destructive fury.

“Hurry, Mama Rainicorn!” BMO exclaims from atop Lady Rainicorn’s back. “I desire the cleansing purity of battle.” The little robot waves a spatula and a teapot lid about as though they were a sword and buckler.

“BMO, my dear brother and also sister, you do not have any long-range capabilities with which to fight.”

“Hu-Shush, NEPTR. BMO shall save the entire day for Ooo, once more, like I always will do. My sword is secretly a magic hamburger flipper-flopper. And I will have you know that I have felled many a rapscallion with it over my venerable hero career.”

“Alas, I merely have an endless stockpile of pies with which to throw continuously into the Lich’s face.” 

“그들은 여기 있으면 안된다. 나는 그들을 위해 안전한 장소를 찾을 시간이 없다.”

“Worry not, Mama. I assure you that I will keep NEPTR safe during the coming attack.

Rolling her eyes, Lady Rainicorn parks herself along the edge of the wall with the rest of the pups at her side.

“Mom, when’s dinner? I’m starved.” TV asks, typing disinterestedly on his laptop.

“저녁 식사는 기다릴 수 있습니다. 우리는 당신의 바보 같은 아버지를 지원해야합니다.”

“Mother,” Viola chides. “You know Dad just gets swept up into these situations while trying to protect the people he loves. Us included.”

Jake Jr. chimes in. “I’d say it’s a mix of both: Dad is really stupid, and he really loves us.”

“I hear that,” Charlie says. She picks out a loose chunk of brick-candy from underneath her and pops it into her mouth. “If you measured out all of the dumb love crawling around in Dad’s guts, it’d be so long that it’d almost match the stick stuck up Kim Kil Whan’s butt.”

Charlie, Jake Jr., and TV all snicker and exchange high-fives while KKW fumes sourly next to them.

Flame Princess can’t help but grin at the Rainicorn’s family dynamic next to her as she settles down upon the edge of the wall by herself. She lets her legs dangle over the ledge and runs her gaze out across the yellow candy fields and the pastel pink canopy of the Cotton Candy Forest. Twilight gathers upon the horizon, filling up the sky with smoky sweeps of red and orange. It reminds her of her throne, waiting for her back in the Fire Kingdom.

She sighs wistfully.

 _‘I hope Finn and the others are alright.’_  

* * *

A pale green glow emanating from rows of monochrome computer monitors serves as the only source of light for the dozens of silhouetted figures seated within the dark, bunker-like room. Most are hunched over their keyboards, busily clacking away as streams of data flicker across the displays. Only one figure remains unbowed. He sits upright behind a long desk at the back of the room with eyes fixated on a large overhead screen showing reports, figures, and readouts.

A door at the front of the room slides open and another figure rushes up to the side of the desk. He flashes a crisp salute.  

“Sir, we have confirmation that the target is starting its approach towards Charlie Kilo. Based on its current trajectory, we project that it will arrive within an hour.”

“Is the package prepared?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Very well. Order the strike team to gear up and head for the transports. The operation commences in 20 minutes.”

“Right away, sir.”      

* * *

“…and right before he transformed me, the Lich said something like he was going to ‘seize Golb’s empty throne’ and then turn us into his personal monster squad. Any idea what he meant by that first part, PB?”

Finn sticks a bonbon in his mouth and looks across at Princess Bubblegum expectantly as he chews. She hums thoughtfully.

“I’m not sure. It sounds like he’s trying to gain enough power to supplant Golb, but that’s ridiculous since Golb, or Betty, I should say, is more powerful than anything in the known multiverse at this point.”

“Do you think he mean it in a metaphorical way?”

“Marcy, sweetie, what possible metaphor could ‘seizing Golb’s empty throne’ represent?

“I don’t know…like, he’ll just straight-up proclaim himself master of chaos? Betty wouldn’t be into spreading all that evil junk, so maybe it just goes to whoever’s next in line? The Lich is probably pretty high on the list of cosmic entities that could fill the role. Though, I guess my Dad would be up there, too.”

Princess Bubblegum pours herself another cup of tea and sips at it. “Perhaps, but I doubt it. If it were that simple, the Lich would have already done it by now. He seems to have a more tangible goal that he’s working towards.”

“Well, whatevs,” Finn says. “Who cares what he’s trying to do. We just let HW and Pep-But do their thing, bust out of here, and take the Lich out for good this time.”

“Now that’s the sort of detailed plan I can get behind.” Marceline grins.

“Guys, we can’t expect to effectively stop something from happening if we don’t-” PB interrupts herself. “Wait, do you hear that?”

Finn and Marceline glance about, tilting their ears upwards.

“Uh, no. What is it?”

“Exactly nothing. I don’t hear the turrets firing anymore.”

Dozens of rotting hands burst from the ground underneath them, grabbing and clawing at their legs. Princess Bubblegum and Finn both leap onto Marceline as she takes to the air. Thinking quickly, PB focuses on Pep-But and Huntress Wizard, repositioning them to a platform at the top of long, greasy pole. In response, leathery wings spontaneously sprout out of the nightmare creatures’ backs and they launch themselves upward.

“Ah, jam it! The dream hex is adapting!” 

“Then we keep adapting right back!” Finn shouts, releasing his hold on Marceline as a pair of angel wings appears on his back. He summons a claymore of shifting liquid metal to his hands and dives towards their newly airborne foes. With a slash, the blade splinters out, bombarding anything in its path like a round of buckshot. As the silvery shards pierce their targets, they spike outwards, shredding the nightmare creatures from the inside out before reassembling at the hilt.

“Good thinking, Finn.” Princess Bubblegum applauds. A jetpack materializes on her back as she whips out a powerful-looking laser pistol. A series of miniature turrets appear as well, hovering around her in a ring-like formation. She drops down and follows Finn into the fray with lasers blasting out at all angles.

Left on her own, Marceline floats there, surveying the battlefield from above.

“Uh, okay, let me see…” She closes her eyes and thinks.

An entire army of cyborg Princess Bubblegums (with some exaggerated assets) outfitted in extremely skimpy chainmail bikinis pops into existence on the ground below.

“ **MARCY**! I SWEAR TO GLOB!” PB shouts up at her over the clamor of battle.

“Sorry, Bubs! I got sexy thoughts on the brain now!”     

Despite the vampire girl’s rather _distracted_ imaginings, the army of cyborg PBs smashes into the fresh waves of nightmare entities still emerging from beneath. Their cybernetic weapons effectively hew them to pieces as quickly as they manage to pop up through the soil.

With a shrug, Marcy imagines her own axe bass into her hands and begins to play. A surge of black electricity crackles along the strings in time with the melody. The lick grows faster and faster, both music and voltage rising in intensity as her fingers dance in a blur across the fretboard and pickup. At the cadential climax, the electricity converges to the tip of the headstock and leaps down in a storm of bolts upon their enemies, reducing them to steaming puddles.

“Su-weet! I’ve always wanted to melt someone’s face off with my guitar.”         

The battle rages on for what feels like hours, with ever newer strains of nightmare entities emerging to penetrate the trio’s imaginative defenses. In turn, Finn, Marceline, and Princess Bubblegum rack their brains to fashion progressively more powerful weapons, abilities, and traps with which to defend themselves. As the bodies of slain nightmares continue to pile high all around them, the three friends begin to feel the wear of mental fatigue setting in.

Finn punches through the face of a giant lion-headed Lich with a pneumatic pile bunker arm. Behind him, Princess Bubblegum shoots a beam from her blackhole gun. It condenses a large melted mass of candy people lunging out at her into a single point before swallowing them up.

*Huff* “I can’t keep this up for much longer, dudes.” Marceline pants as she drifts down from above. She tosses another broken bass to the side.

“I know, Mar-Mar,” PB turns the blackhole gun in her hands into a fusion ray and fires it into a crowd of nightmares as they make a charge at their position. The beam incinerates them on the spot. “Just please hold out a little longer. We have to trust Peps and Huntress Wizard.”

All at once, though, the fighting stops. The creatures surrounding them, both living and dead, suddenly melt down into a big pool at their feet.

“Did…did we win just now?”

“From my experience, Finn,” Princess Bubblegum replies, watching as the liquid quivers ever so slightly, “a sudden and inexplicable retreat by the enemy is never a win.”

Like the swash of a wave, the slurry starts to rush brusquely past them. It amasses upon a single spot and bursts upward, rising higher and higher into the sky. At its zenith, the geyser bubbles outward, rapidly taking on mass and congealing until the mountainous form of the Lich takes shape. Its bones are a viscid, writhing composite of every nightmare creature they’d slain thus far.

Princess Bubblegum takes her fission beam canon and fires. The ray hurdles up into one of its legs, exploding furiously on impact. Yet, the titan’s hide shrugs off the attack without so much as a scratch. Slowly, the flames in the towering Lich’s eye sockets shift downward and lock on the champions at its feet. An ear-shredding roar detonates from its throat as it brings two house-sized fists up over its head.

“Aw, slaps.” 

The nightmare Lich slams down with enough force to instantly carve a crater into the ground, sending Finn, Marceline, and PB flying. Finn tries using his wings to steady himself as best as he can while still caught within the ensuing whirlwind of dust and rubble swirling violently about them. He can barely tell where he is in relation to the floor of the dreamscape at this point, though. Finn swings his gaze about, trying to locate Huntress Wizard and Peppermint Butler. It takes a moment, but he finally manages to reorient himself once the worst of the blast passes and locates the pole below. His heart drops at seeing nothing but its crumpled wreckage heaped against the edge of the crater.

“HUNTRESS!”

For a moment, Finn fears the worst and searches frantically for any sign of life within the twisted remains of their stronghold. As he looks, however, his eyes catch upon an almost impossibly thin, gleaming line extending upwards from where the pole once stood. Relief floods his heart as he finds Huntress Wizard and Peppermint Butler floating high above everything else, the silvery line running straight in between them and up into the furthest reaches of the sky.

“Holy guacamole…” Marceline exclaims in awe, supporting an extremely dizzied PB in her arms.

Their attention is quickly drawn away from the otherworldly sight, though, as the monolithic Lich monster unleashes another chilling wail. It plods forward and raises a fist again, this time aiming squarely for the two magic users. But, before the attack can land, Huntress Wizard and Peppermint Butler’s eyes flash open. They turn to face the monstrosity, suspended side by side with a shared gaze blazing darkly against their opponent. In one voice that sounds like hundreds of voices echoing at once they speak a single word:

“ **SEVER.** ”

Like snapping a piece of glass, the seam between them splits outward to reveal a vast fault running across the entire dreamscape. It cuts clean through the Lich monster, bisecting it in an instant before reducing it back to two large piles of nightmare slurry. The stuff spills in sheets to the crater below and fills it to the brim with crimson-brown liquid. 

With the spell complete, Huntress Wizard and Peppermint Butler float back down to the ground. Finn, Marceline, and Princess Bubblegum let out a cheer and descend to meet their saviors at their respective sides of the shimmering fault – Finn and Huntress Wizard on one; PB, Marceline, and Peppermint Butler on the other.

“You did it!” Finn shouts, smothering Huntress Wizard in a bear hug and peppering her face with kisses. She giggles and happily accepts all of her boyfriend’s affection.

“Heck yeah, we did! You guys did an amazing job keeping all of those things at bay for us.”

“It was mostly PB and Marcy. I would’ve biffed it all up if they hadn’t swooped in to keep you guys safe and pull my sorry buns out of the fire.”

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t the one to bail you out, Finn. I wanted to, but Peppermint Butler wouldn’t let me once he sensed PB and Marceline approaching.”

“Hey, that’s okay, H-Dubs. I was so armored up that they weren’t doing anything to me; I was just worried about letting them get to you while I was down.”

Finn glances over to where Princess Bubblegum, Marcy, and Peppermint Butler are still busy praising one another. Despite how thin the veil between them appears, their excited voices are muffled beyond recognition while on the other side.

“Huh, guess we can’t really talk to each other like this.” He looks back at Huntress Wizard. “What is this thing, anyway?”

“It’s a rift in the dream world – something the Lich’s hex can’t touch. All we need to do is go through and it should allow us to wake up.” 

“Math. Let’s hop in then. My gut’s telling me we still got a way to go before we put the Lich down for the count.”

“Agreed. Though, honestly, I _am_ kinda disappointed that I missed out on being able to will a bunch of sexy Finns into existence.”  

“Maybe you could try looking into some dream magic for us to explore later.”

Huntress Wizard chuckles impishly. “Now there’s an idea.”

Taking each other’s hand, the pair share another quick peck and then walk straight into the glimmering seam between fantasy and reality.


	9. Chapter 9

“So, right here?”

“Correct, just plug me in and we should be set.”

“Alright, here goes.”

Jake slides the crystal into the side of a small, temporary terminal set up just inside the main gate. Right as it clicks into place, tiny holo-crystals installed next to every defender’s station light up and project VPB on a screen in front of each of them.

“You good?”

“I am, Jake. Thank you for all your help setting me up. You can go ahead and take your position outside with the others.”

With a salute, Jake stretches out through the gate and over to a position just below where his family is stationed. He waves up at them and blows Lady Rainicorn a kiss, which consists of him stretching his lips all the way up to hers. Lady Rainicorn, as irritated with the whole situation as she seems, can’t quite keep a lopsided smirk from perking up along her snout. She leans over and gives her husboyfriend a gentle smooch.

Watching the tender moment play out, Flame Princess barely registers that the Princess Bubblegum AI is addressing her directly.

“Flame Princess? Are you listening?”

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t know you could talk to us all individually.”

“Yes, well, time is growing short; I thought I’d expedite things a bit by directly providing each of you the details on how your abilities will play into our defensive strategy.”

“You’ve got my attention. Lay it on me.”

VBP nods and an overhead map of the Candy Kingdom appears next to her. “As soon as the Lich exits the Cotton Candy Forest, I will have the artillery garrison bombard his position.” An X with a skull over it appears on the map, along with some cutesy little cannonball icons. “You and all the other magic users will join in using your own powers and spells.” Lightning bolts pop onto the map.

“Do you want raw destructive power or accuracy? It’d be tough for me to have both at that distance.”

“For the opening salvo, please try to focus on accuracy over power. I highly doubt that it will do significant damage to the Lich, but it should serve to distract him from taking out our melee fighters from a distance and pressure him into the field’s range.”

“Smart.”  

“Once he’s near the walls, the melee fighters will engage.” The map updates, showing the X skull closer. A sword pops up next to it. “All ranged fighters will continue to offer limited supporting fire at this time to keep him off balance. You and the other flying fighters will take to the air, keeping him hemmed in and grounded using whatever means available.” A pair of wings appears over the X skull with an arrow pointing down at it. “Don’t go crazy, though. We don’t want any of our people getting cooked alive out there.”

Flame Princess rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I know how to control my own powers.”

“I’ll have to take your word on that. At any rate, if we maintain an unbroken offensive against him, there is a chance that we will either repel, incapacitate, or even destroy the Lich before he can breach the Kingdom’s defenses.”

“And if we don’t?”

“If worse comes to worse, we regroup behind the shield. At that point we will have to make a choice to either cut our losses and flee or continue fighting for as long as we can hold out.” 

“That’s reassuring.”

“Believe me, I’m doing everything I can to keep that from-” VPB pauses. “I’ve detected a perimeter breach. He’s coming. Everyone, battle stations! Omega-level alert!”

An air raid siren blares from inside the Candy Kingdom. FP scans the horizon. Within that darkening expanse, she finds a shimmer of green light held aloft in the air. Initially faint, it grows in both size and intensity with terrifying speed. In mere moments, it resembles a blazing meteorite heading straight for them. Just as it crosses over the top of the forest’s tree line, however, the ball of fire suddenly pitches downward. It bursts against the ground, throwing up a billowing black curtain of smoke and ash all around. The Lich emerges from its center and presents himself placidly to their forces, his skull and hands wreathed in emerald flames. FP can’t say for sure at this distance, but it feels as though he’s smiling at them.

“LIGHT HIM UP!” VPB shouts.

Straightaway, the report of heavy cannon fire and magical projectiles devours the once tranquil evening, rending the area where the Lich stood seconds prior. The Lich rockets forward.

Not one to be outdone, Flame Princess summons several long spears of flame around her and casts them toward the necromancer. Most of the shots go wide, but two strike true against his chest. It does little to slow the Lich down. In fact, any of the spells lucky enough to find their mark seem to melt against the dense aura of eldritch energy surrounding their target. The cannon fire, while powerful, is much too slow to land any direct hits. If nothing else, their combined fire appears to be serving its intended purpose. The Lich closes in quickly on the first line of melee fighters.

On cue, Flame Princess and the rest of the fliers along the top of the wall take to the air over the battlefield.        

Muscle Princess is out front, accompanied by Jake and Jungle Princess.

“Alright, you scrawny bone bag. Let’s see how you handle some big meat guns like THESE!”

The hulking monarch throws out a devastating hook towards the Lich. In response, a section of Jake-flesh on his chest expands outward, catching Muscle Princess’ arm mid-swing.

“Hey! Let go of me yo-AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The stretchy yellow flesh abruptly flings Muscle Princess several stories up into the sky. Reacting quickly, Viola shoots a teleportation ray at the airborne body builder and drops her back down to a safe distance. Unfortunately, this does nothing to alter her momentum, which carries her into the trunk of a nearby tree. Jungle Princess, meanwhile, lunges into the skirmish and unleashes a flurry of thrusts and slashes at the Lich. He weaves his way through the first few, but then catches the tip of her spear against the front of his rib cage. It tears through the cartilage next to the sternum, then lodges against a rib in the back with a ‘crack’.

“GAH!”

He stumbles back. From above, Flame Princess, Ice Thing, the pups, and Lady Rainicorn shower the Lich with bolts of lightning, fire balls, and ice shards which further undercut his attempts to mount a defense. Jungle Princess draws a curved dagger from a sheath on the small of her back and advances. The fell sorcerer brings a hand up to the spear shaft sticking from his chest and snaps it off. As the wooden pole turns to ashes in his palm, he raises it to the sky and columns of green fire blast up from the ground, tossing the pups and Ice Thing violently backwards.

Lady Rainicorn barely manages to phase through the attack, quickly absorbing her pups into her body before retreating out of range. Flame Princess, for her part, redirects the flames around both her, Jake, and Jungle Princess. JP offers FP a grateful nod and assumes a defensive fighting stance before the Lich. Jake, on the other hand, looks up worriedly at Lady Rainicorn as she tows their children away.

“Pup-pups!” He whirls about and snarls at the Lich. “LICH! You’ve hurt my friends and family for the **LAST** time! I’M A TOUGH GALOOT, YA HEAR? AND I’M GONNA LOSE CONTROL!”

Fueled by his anger, Jake explodes outward and upward, piling on a cartoonish amount of muscle to his frame as he rises over 15 feet tall. Several sets of arms sprout from his sides as well, all terminating in an array of deadly melee weaponry instead of hands.

“BRAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

Jake bellows and brings several tons worth of himself crashing down on his hated foe. The Lich cuts to the side and manages to avoid the first few blows then brings a hand to the ground. A wave of necrotic energy channels out through the earth directly below Jake’s heavy, juggernaut of a body. As he closes in for another round of attacks, the dirt buckles beneath Jake, sending him chest deep into a massive sinkhole.

“You think a lousy pit can stop me from womping your butt, Lich? All I need to do is shrink my booty a bit, like so, and-AHHHHHH!”

A bolt of green electricity to his face effectively silences Jake’s big mouth, putting the poor dog down for the count while still lodged in the ground. A small white cloud of smoke rises from the singed fur at the top of his head.  

Behind them, though, reinforcements are beginning to pour in. Lemongrab arrives riding a lemon camel alongside Cinnamon Bun on his fire wolf. The two are accompanied by a large contingent of banana and cake guards. Surprisingly enough, Peace Master is at the helm. He leaps into battle with a commanding presence, sneering at the Lich with disgust.

“Oh, how I despise the dark one who claims loyalty to this kingdom and the naiveté of the Princess who enables his dark works. Nevertheless! I will not abide the diabolic machinations of even greater monstrosities within the home of my semi-normal children. Do you **hear** me, LICH?! I know it was you who made me forget to buy milk at the store this morning! Prepare to eat my righteous sack and the sacred contents therein, tedious undead fiend! Ahhggghaa!”

“Dude, quit grandstanding and do something!” Flame Princess shouts.

The Lich opens his mouth and a focused ray of necrotic energy lances out at the posturing witch hunter. Peace Master dodges underneath the attack with impressive agility (unfortunately, the beam carries straight into the ground next to Lemongrab and Cinnamon Bun, scattering them and the guards in the ensuing explosion). He counters by pulling out a porcelain mug and chucking it at his opponent. The mug shatters against the Lich’s skull with a burst of radiant magic.

“AHH!”     

Flame Princess follows up with a concentrated fire beam of her own. It plows into the Lich as he tries to right himself and throws him onto his back. Seizing the opportunity, Jungle Princess dashes forward and leaps with her knife raised high overhead, intending to bury it up to the hilt against the center of the dark sorcerer’s skull.

Despite being knocked down, the Lich is still much too quick. A cord of Jake flesh whips out and catches JP by the ankle mid-leap. It then hurls the princess bodily into Peace Master.

“GRD!”

“OOOF!”

The two crash and are sent toppling over each other in a heap of tangled limbs. Flame Princess takes a brief glance back to her fallen comrades, making sure they’re alright, but by the time she returns to the Lich, she finds him already leaping up through the air at her.

“Hoh, geez!”

 Yellow tendrils coil around her before she can react and slam her down to the earth. Flame Princess struggles as the Lich looms over her.

“RRRGH! You **won’t** win!”

“You, Princess of Flame, will never know otherwise.” The Lich speaks before opening his mouth wide.

Flame Princess feels terror flood her heart as she sees a powerful ball of energy welling up within the Lich’s rotting maw. It’s coming too quickly for her to burn her way out of his grasp. She grits her teeth and clenches her eyes shut.

The life obliterating blast never arrives. Instead, she hears the sharp impact of a fist against bone and the Lich’s staggered cry as the tendrils give way around her. Flame Princess opens her eyes and sees Susan Strong standing tall over her. She offers a hand to help her back up. Grinning, the elemental gladly accepts it.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just gotta let some of the adrenaline wear off. Thanks for the save, by the way.”

“No problem.” 

Behind Susan, Canyon, Sally, and Celina are all busy fending off the Lich in an impressive display of acrobatic fighting ability. The two smaller hyoomans use Canyon as a kinetic base from which to launch their flying kicks and punches. Canyon, meanwhile, dances about her ex’s murderer, pummeling him with blow after blow as she nimbly avoids the energy blasts arcing out from his body.

“We should probably get back in there, huh?”

“I will. But you can take a bit of a breather, if you need it.”

Susan takes a running leap and power tumbles into the brawl. She lands a drop kick into the side of the Lich’s knee, crumpling him right into an uppercut from Canyon. Not wanting to disrupt their synergetic fighting style, Flame Princess takes the brawny girl’s advice and hangs back on the sidelines while popping off some carefully aimed fireballs at the Lich as the opportunity presents itself.

“HYYYAH!” Susan delivers another weighty slug to the back of the Lich’s spine. “Ready to surrender, Lich, or are we gonna have to keep this up until we grind your bones into paste?”

“Continue all night, human, but all you and your heroic ilk will do – the only thing that you have ever done – is inconvenience me.”

“Is that so? Well, how about this, then?” Canyon holds a hand up high. “Nothung!”

Billy’s fabled sword comes twirling out from over the horizon, the blade whistling through the air before landing trimly in the water elemental’s grasp. It resonates with a tinny hum as Canyon levels it at the Lich. She smirks.

“Billy taught me how to use it before you murdered him.”

The Lich sneers. “The sword couldn’t save him. It won’t save any of you.”

“Let’s see about that! For Billy!”

Canyon springs forth, closing the distance between them in an instant as she brings the blade crashing down over his right shoulder. It cleaves straight through without the slightest resistance and sinks diagonally across the fell sorcerer until it exits cleanly at the bottom of his ribcage on the other side. The top portion of the Lich begins to slide away from his bottom half. And, for a moment, the Lich looks astonished as he glances down to the open rift below him. But this, too, passes. As quickly as the attack came, wriggling tendrils of Jake-flesh bridge the gap and knit the bones back into place.

Canyon gasps.

The Lich lunges forward, grabbing Canyon by the neck and hauling her off her feet. He grins up at her and starts to squeeze. She chokes, bringing both hands up around the Lich’s arm in a desperate bid to support herself. 

“Your once great hero is gone; I killed him.”

“Guess you’ll have to settle for us, then!”

Susan, Sally, and Celina all charge the Lich together. The sorcerer doesn’t break his gaze with Canyon as he waves a hand and sends a wave of eldritch energy crashing into the trio. But, instead of producing three burnt bodies, the image of the three girls fizzles away into static.

This grabs the Lich’s attention. “Hmm?”

Suddenly, there are dozens of the three girls surrounding the Lich.

“HAHA! FOOLED BY FRIEDA!” Frieda shouts down at them. The spunky girl is hanging halfway out her window on the wall and typing furiously on her wrist-mounted computer.

One of the Susans jumps at the Lich, but fizzles away as it’s impaled on a spear of Jake-flesh. Three Celina’s rush him, one of which lands a solid blow against his skull before slipping back amongst the other holograms. While the Lich struggles to pinpoint his real opponents, Susan sends a blow into the Lich’s arm, breaking it and freeing Canyon from his grasp. The Lich’s arm mends itself and he tries to strike the pair before they can escape, but the holograms swarm his vision. Kicks, punches, and fireballs strafe him one after another as he staggers blindly about.

“HHHRRGG! **ENOUGH!** ”

Massive limbs of Jake-flesh shoot out from the Lich’s body at every angle and crash into everything within a 10-meter radius. Unfortunately, Canyon, Susan, Sally, and Celina are all caught up in the strike, the thick columns knocking them out completely. The Lich then turns toward the Candy Kingdom’s ramparts and opens his mouth wide.

Inside the wall, Life Giving Magus’ eyes grow wide. He grabs Frieda by the back of her shirt and pulls her away from the window. “Hoo, mama! Everyone: get around me! Now!”

The rest of the casters and artillery guards hurriedly gather around the hairy wizard. With everyone huddled close together, Life Giving Magus hums a chant. A bubble of light appears around them and then pops, leaving nothing but some unmanned cannons behind. Seconds later, a giant beam of green energy rams through the window Frieda had stood at moments prior, annihilating the entire room.

Back upon the battlefield, the Lich closes his jaw as the beam tapers off, steam pouring out from between his teeth. He then examines the large, burning scar his attack left across the Candy Kingdom’s fortifications. There were no charred corpses within the rubble, but at least the holograms had finally subsided. Turning about, his gaze settles on the last defender still standing before him: Flame Princess.

“Now, Princess of Flame,” He speaks. “Where were we, before that little intermission?”

“Not sure. But this is definitely the part where I turn you into a scorching stain on the ground.”

Straight away, Flame Princess throws both arms out in front of her and shoots out a devastating column of fire directly at the Lich. The flames roll over him like a roaring wave, obliterating everything in its path (she makes sure to condense the attack just enough to keep from burning her unconscious allies). She lets it pour out of her for an entire minute – and then a little more for good measure – before finally letting up. Without waiting for the ash and smoke to clear, FP rockets into the air, looking for any further signs of movement below.

A beam slices out through the smoldering strip of battlefield and nearly takes her head off. Luckily for Flame Princess, the attack also carves a sizable hole in the smoke around her now exposed enemy. She explodes forward, colliding head on with the Lich. The sorcerer, however, manages to catch her fist in his palm mid-air. Orange and emerald flames clash violently against each other as FP redoubles her thrust. 

The Lich grins and tightens his grip around the outside of the elemental’s fist. “What do you hope to accomplish with this, Princess of Flame?”       

“You’re an open wound on Ooo, Lich. I’m just here to cauterize you.”

Flame Princess suddenly grabs the Lich by the arm and swings her waist around with the bottom of her feet pointed squarely at his nasal cavity. She ignites her afterburners and launches off, torching his undead face in the process. The boost propels FP a short distance away before she skids to a halt and turns to face the Lich once more.

She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and exhales.

Then she burns.

Her flames fan out, swallowing her armor up as she assumes progressively deeper shades of red and orange, then bright sapphire blue, and, finally, pure white. A large heat haze ripples out around her, occasionally flashing with arcs of ionized air, while the dirt at her feet prickles with shards of gritty glass. Flame Princess’ eyes open and she lashes an arm out towards the Lich, hurling crescent blades of fire at him.

The Lich bursts into the air over them and fires another energy beam from his mouth. The ray hits against the veil of heat surrounding her, but merely disperses around it. She steps closer and the edges of his Jake-flesh begin to char. He floats backward, warily.

Flame Princess laughs cruelly, “Scared, Lich?! You should be!”

She fires off another blast. The Lich swerves narrowly around it, grunting as a few bones along his flank blacken in its passing. He grits his teeth. As hot as she is, there is no way for him to attack the flame elemental directly. But, then again, maybe he didn’t have to.

Grinning again, the Lich darts back over towards the wall, avoiding the Flame Princess’ attacks before landing next to an unconscious Cinnamon Bun. He wraps a tentacle of flesh around the iced champion and hoists him around, dangling him in front as a shield.

Flame Princess flinches. 

“You are powerful Princess of Flame, but like all mortals you succumb to your cloying sentimentality. Power down or this one dies in excruciating agony.”

“Do I look stupid? I do that, you’ll waste me and everyone else any way.”

“No?” The Lich stretches another tentacle over and brings Susan Strong’s unconscious from next to Cinnamon Bun’s. “How about this one, as well? You owe her your life, don’t you? But there are still so many more we can add.”

She hesitates, biting her lower lip as she tries to think of something she can do.

The Lich takes a step towards her. Cinnamon Bun’s icing bubbles up and Susan Strong’s clothes start to smoke. They both groan in pain.

Immediately, FP lowers her temperature down to a blue flame.

“Good,” The Lich says, taking another step closer. “Let the flame dim and no one has to die just yet.”

* * *

Holding tight to Life Giving Magus as the blinding light washes over them, Frieda feels like her insides are pulled out, rearranged, and thrown back inside of her within the breadth of a millisecond. The spell ebbs away quickly, but the nausea does not. She stumbles to her hands and knees, right on the edge of losing the sandwich she had for lunch. And, apparently, so is every other non-magic user in their group. Some of the banana guards are already in the process of losing theirs.

“Ha! Made it out alive!” Life Giving Magus exclaims. “Just in time, too, by the look of it.”

“Wh-where are we?”

“Huh? Oh, I sent us into one of those big bendy towers behind us.” He looks down at her and offers an oven mitten-covered hand. “Geez, sorry about that, kid. Teleportation spells are rough stuff for first timers. You alright?”

“Yeah, I think so.” She takes his hand and steadies herself before standing back up.

“It might have rattled your insides a bit. I tell ya, though, it beats the alternative.” He points down to the crumbling wreckage of their previous station, smoking with green flames. “And the frontline ain’t looking too great, either. Glad it’s not our necks on the line down there.”

Frieda shoves LGM out of the way and looks out to the battlefield below. At this distance, all she can see are more green flames spreading out and mingling with their orange counterparts. The night air is choked with ash and smoke.

“My girl Susan is in the middle of all that biz. I’ve got to get down there!”

“What? Are you crazy?! You saw what that coozed up maniac can do. We gotta head for the hills while the gettin’s good!”

Frieda grabs Life Giving Magus by the beard and yanks him down nose to nose with her scowling face. “You magic me to ground level pronto, or I’m putting you straight through this window. Understand?”

LGM swallows thickly and nods.

* * *

Finn opens his eyes and sits up, foggily taking in his new surroundings. He’s in the Candy Kingdom again, that much is obvious by the bubblegum walls and sugary scent flooding his nose. Judging by the candy cane hospital bed, he was in the castle’s intensive care unit. Looking to his side, he sees Huntress Wizard, Princess Bubblegum, and Marceline all in similar states of stupor.

He raises an arm. “Hey.”

The three girls grin sleepily and return the motion.

“Hey.”

“Marcy! Thank heavens, you’re awake!” Simon cries in joy and embraces the vampire girl.

Marceline is slightly taken aback but hugs him back anyway. “Simon? What are you doing here?”

“I heard that Jake was calling on a bunch of people to aid in the Candy Kingdom’s defense. I was worried about you, so I decided to invite myself. As soon as I found out that you were in here, I rushed to your side. I’ve been here the whole time.”

“Aww, that’s sweet, Si.” She kisses him on the cheek.                    

“Well, I suppose I’ll let that be Miss Abadeer’s greeting.” Peppermint Butler chimes in, rising from his meditation mat. “For the rest of you, welcome back to the land of the living.”

“Thanks, Pep-But…for everything.”

“Simply my duty and pleasure, Your Grace. Now, while I summon the doctors, shall I make everyone some coffee and tea?”

“That sounds killer, man.” Marceline yawns and leans back into her pillow. “Just pour it straight into an IV tube and hook it up to my veins when it’s ready.”

A small light starts to blink on one of Peppermint Butler’s cufflinks. “Ah, one moment, though, that must be the Princess’ AI calling me now.” He taps the light and a hologram jumps out before them.

“Oh, Peppermint Butler, thank Glob! I’ve been trying to contact you for the last half-hour. Did you manage to wake everyone?”

He sweeps his arm around. “Yes, I was. As you can see, the Princess and all of her friends are accounted for.”

“All of you need to get down to the south wall right now! The Lich made his attack while juiced up on his well of power and wiped out nearly everyone! Only Flame Princess is left and she’s losing ground to him fast!”  

“Jam it!” Princess Bubblegum leaps out of bed. “You heard her: we need to move!”        

“Uggh,” Marceline groans as she floats out of bed. “Make that coffee a double espresso with some red food coloring after we get back. Okay, Peps?”

“Of course, Miss Abadeer.

“See you, Simon. We can all catch up in a bit once we finish dealing with this.”

“Oh no,” Simon says, following Marceline with a surprising amount of conviction in his step. “I’m not going to cower in here while you throw yourself at that necromancer again.”

“Simon, no offense, but I don’t think you’re gonna be too much help against an amped up Lich.”

“Please, Marcy! I can’t just do _nothing_ when you might get hurt again.”

“We don’t have time for this!” Princess Bubblegum cuts in. “Simon, come if you want, but please try to hang back. And don’t do anything risky unless you know it will help us against the Lich.”

“Yes, of course, Princess. Thank you.”

“Good. Now let’s get going. Every second we spend here puts Flame Princess in greater jeopardy.”    

“Mister Mertens, Miss Wizard: your gear is by the doorway.”

“Thanks, Candy Man. It was a privilege weaving some dark arts with you.” Huntress Wizard makes a small salute with two fingers and levitates her quiver and Finn’s pack and sword to them as they charge out the door.

Marceline claps her hands together. “Okay, plan time! Any ideas on how we can handle this guy better than we did last time?”

“I can see that someone activated my Royal Aegis defense protocol,” Princess Bubblegum says, glancing out one of the corridor’s windows. “So at least he can’t use his mind control on us this time. But, honestly, guys, I’m drawing a blank on how to stop him. I think that the best we can do for now is to try drawing him away from Flame Princess and hope that, together, we can do enough damage to either bring him down or make him retreat.”

“So, Princess, your ‘plan’ is for us to all whale on him hard enough that he either bites it or gives up?” Huntress Wizard asks.

“Yes that’s…essentially it.”

“Well, I’m feeling all types of vengeful right now after what that scrat sucker put us through, so I like it!”

“Heck yeah!” Finn hollers, echoing his girlfriend’s enthusiasm.

As they burst out into the night air through the castle’s front door, Marceline turns into her bat form and takes hold of PB and Simon while HW makes her disturbing transition into a giant hawk. She grabs Finn and the five lift off, circling around to the southern rampart while keeping below the anti-mind control field. There, on the scorched battlefield below, they see dozens of the kingdom’s valiant defenders strewn about in a crushing defeat. At its center, Flame Princess shines like a beacon in the dark. But it’s clear that her light is fading quickly as she slowly backs away from the menacing form of the Lich encroaching upon her.

Knowing exactly the type of entrance Finn wants to make, Huntress Wizard brings him directly above their target and releases him from her claws.

“Phoebeeee!”  

Flame Princess’ attention whips upward at the familiar voice.

“Finn?!”

The young adventurer draws his sword as he drops and slices straight down through both the Lich’s arms. Now free, Susan and Cinnamon Bun collapse to the ground.

“AHHHH!” The Lich cries out as he stumbles backward.

“Are you okay, FP?” Finn asks.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Jake said you and the others were tranced out.”

“We found a way out. Now, you want to help us take this guy down for good?”

“Sure, but how?”

“Don’t know. We’ll wing it like usual!”

Finn rushes toward his recovering adversary as Marceline swoops down to deposit PB and Simon next to Flame Princess before swiftly following his lead. Overhead, Huntress Wizard sheds her avian form and summons forth six enchanted arrows to her hands – one slotted between each of her fingers like claws – as she starts to fall.

All three launch their attacks simultaneously.

Finn leaps up and rams his sword straight into the Lich’s nasal passage, then kicks the hilt to bash it the rest of the way through. Marceline unsheathes her smoke claws as she rips ferociously into his body. HW simply allows her arrows to tumble out of her hands, floating freely in the air behind her. The instant she touches down against the ground, however, their points snap in unison toward the Lich and stream straight into him. They blow through, then redirect back around again, weaving in and out across any bones left untouched by Marceline’s crushing blows.

Altogether, the three’s opening onslaught practically shreds the Lich apart.

“Yo, Phoebe!” Finn yells as he yanks his sword out of the Litch’s busted up face before he and the others leap clear. “Roast him!”

“Right!”

A roar of fire issues out from the princess’ hands, utterly painting the necromancer’s broken form in high-intensity heat. His Jake-flesh boils while his bones crack and char. At length, FP finally gives out, panting harshly after the flames fade away.

“Okay,” Princess bubblegum declares. “If that didn’t do it. I don’t know what will.”

“’What will’, indeed, Princess.”

“Aw, c’mon!” Marceline shouts.

Five blackened tendrils shoot out from the Lich’s remains, dousing the adventures in its tar-like skin puttie. A large blob forms at its other end, quickly reassembling all the fragments of bone caught within it back together. The Lich emerges from it looking no worse for wear, despite some blackened bones and flesh. The tendrils continue to pile on around the five heroes, encasing everything but their faces. They dig in and remove Finn’s sword and Huntress Wizard’s arrows from her quiver before tossing them onto the ground.

“I cannot be stopped. Not this time.” The Lich walks forward, his head and hands reigniting once more. “I intended to save any killing for later. Though, I suppose it will make little difference to my schedule, now, if I kill just one of you…the Princess of Flame, perhaps? I have no use for her, after all.”

“I won’t allow it!” Simon yells, throwing himself in front of his friends. “I **won’t** let you hurt the only people I have left in this world.”

“Simon! Get out of here!” Marceline shouts.

“You…” The Lich’s eyes burn brighter in recognition. He grins. “Hn haahahaAHAHAHAA! Aah, how unexpected. Very well. I won’t kill them for now, but you will come with me, Ice King. Now.”

The five adventures erupt in chorus, all pleading for Simon to refuse the deal. 

Simon Petrikov glances back at his friends and then again to the Lich’s dead, all-consuming gaze. He feels a cold sweat break across his forehead.

* * *

Another bright flash and Frieda tumbles onto her back out of thin air. The nausea isn’t nearly as potent this time around, but it still takes her a moment to find her equilibrium. Sitting up, she finds herself next to a large chunk of rubble from the castle wall. The explosion from the Lich’s attack must have thrown it clear over the moat. She grimaces thinking about what such an attack would have done to her and the rest of the ranged fighters if LGM hadn’t acted as quick as he did. Nevertheless, it provided the perfect cover with which to survey the battlefield and, hopefully, find Susan.

Sliding over to the edge of the giant hunk of candy as quietly as she can, Frieda peaks out into the smoke-filled arena. There, just a few meters away from her, she sees the Lich with Finn, Princess Bubblegum, the vampire girl Susan had told her about, the spicy flame girl from the meeting, and a plant girl that she didn’t recognize, all encased in his goo. Before them stood the nerdy-looking guy from the meet. She couldn’t remember his name, but it looked like he was trying his best to shield the others from the Lich. They were all shouting at him, though.

As nerve-wracking as the situation is, something else grabs her attention. A lock of golden hair spooling down from the edge of a black cat hat just to the side of the Lich’s feet.

_‘Susan!’_

Frieda crouches down and prepares to crawl closer, hoping that the nerd-guy’s distraction would last long enough for her to rescue them. She just had to play her hologram projector right. A hand placed gently on her shoulder holds her in place, however.

“Huh?”

She turns and looks up at the figure behind her.

* * *

“I…” Simon clenches his fist. “I won’t! I won’t abandon the first family I’ve had after a millennium alone!”

The others raise up a cheer for Simon.

“Pity. Then the Flame Princess’ life is forfeit.” The Lich wraps a tentacle around Simon and Susan Strong, lifting them both into the air. “The human girl’s, too. Then, I will simply take you with me.”

Finn and the rest of the party struggle and shout as the Lich forms his Jake-flesh hand into a long blade and draws the point close against Susan’s throat. The skin bags holding them, however, slip and contort in response to each champion’s slightest movement. Their oily insides offer nothing for them to push or pull against to make an escape.

“ **NO!** ” Finn shouts, trying his best to punch his way out. _‘I can’t let them die like this! I can’t! I CAN’T!’_

There’s a sound, then, like the crackle of a loudspeaker. Floodlights power on and abruptly bathe the night-soaked field in harsh white light. Finn can barely see through it all, but as he blinks the spots away, he can make out several flying vehicles hovering just above them. They appear of similar design to the manta-ray-shaped transport ships from Founder’s Island, but significantly bulked up with armor. A voice rings out at them.

“Release the humans and step away from them now!”

The Lich turns to see four heavily silhouetted figures. Two are standing atop the chunk of candy wall and the remaining pair flank them on the ground. The lights from the transports above shift slightly as they jockey for position, revealing the pair up top as Leader Malloy and Minerva. The former is talking into a radio microphone wired to the later.

“Malloy?! MOM?!”  

“More humans, is it then?” The Lich sneers. “I confess, of all the wretched sentients I’ve eradicated, I’ve never anticipated any extinction so much as I have yours.”

“Minerva-bot: activate old-world satellite uplink. Subroutine: Sword of Damocles. Firing code: Epsilon Supernus 3XT7.”

“Uplink complete,” Minerva responds, her voice is oddly curt and robotic. “Firing.”

There is a pause.

Then the clouds open in a circle above them and a bright orange light punches down through the sky. It slams straight into the Lich, evaporating the entire left half of his body. The tendrils tethering Finn and company dissolve against the ray’s impact and their flesh prisons drop to the ground, freeing them as they spatter into formless puddles of liquid skin and fat.

“Now!” Leader Malloy commands. “It has to be now!”

One of the individuals below Malloy steps forward – a tall woman with a tiger hat and a heavily muscular build like Susan’s – to direct a rectangular, wide-mouthed rifle at the Lich’s rapidly reanimating remains. She fires and two large disks shoot out, one sinking below the Lich and the other stopping at a hover directly over him.

Next, a similarly well-muscled man wearing a wolf’s hat quickly brings a high-tech energy cannon to bear. Finn notices something peculiar about this weapon, though. At the base of the stock is a series of cables running up to a pack the man is wearing. Set within the pack is a large, pink conical stone. Finn is dumbstruck as he recognizes what the object in question is. 

“You guys have The Maid?!”                

The man with the wolf-hat takes his shot and a beam of crackling light explodes out. The energy hits the top disk, which absorbs it, and then redirects it downward in a solid field over the Lich just as he finishes healing himself. The Lich creates a ball of energy in his fist and strikes against the field, only to have his hand disintegrated. He pulls away, glowering as he forms a new hand in its place.

“WOO!” Marceline shouts. She glides over and helps Princess Bubblegum to her feet. “That was sick-nasty! Way to go, humans!”

“Yes, thank you both, Leader Malloy and Doctor Campbell,” Princess Bubblegum adds. “An extremely well executed rescue. How did you know that we needed help?”

Leader Malloy steps down from his position atop the rubble with Minerva following dutifully. “Think nothing of it, Princess. Minerva, here, picked up on the massive energy spikes the Lich was causing in your part of the neighborhood and we thought you might need some backup. And it looks like it’s a good thing we got here when we did.”

Huntress Wizard appears next to Malloy, studying his face carefully. “Yeah, and I’d say it’s really, _really_ lucky that you also just so happened to have weapons on hand that are powerful enough to contain something like the Lich.”

“Well, the readings we were getting were off the charts. We figured we’d need to bring some of our most powerful weapons if we wanted to stand a chance of helping you.”

Finn, still faintly shell shocked by what all just happened, collects himself and moves over to his mother. "Hey, Mom. Thanks for the save. I’m sorry it got a little crazy there, for a second.” He holds out his hands expecting both a smothering hug and a stern lecture on safety. Neither comes. Confused, he glances up to his mother, but finds nothing but a vacant, thousand-yard stare where her empathetic gaze would normally meet his own.

“Leader Malloy, what’s wrong with my mom?”

“Hm? Why nothing, Finn, my boy. Establishing an uplink to that old-world war satellite requires a lot more computing power then a single remote Minerva-bot can handle. Your mother’s central personality unit is back over at Human Town. This one is just here for targeting purposes.”

He glances over to Susan who is still passed out against the dirt.

“Miss Strong looks a little worse for wear after all that fighting, doesn’t she? We have a top of the line medical and spa facility where we can get her all patched up. You should come as well, Professor Petrikov. It probably wouldn’t hurt to have a doctor that’s specialized in humans look at you for a change.”

“Oh, I suppose it would be nice to see some new human faces after so long…”

“You should also come and say hello to your mother, Finn. I’m sure she’ll want to see you after all this commotion.”

“I’d hate to interrupt all these best-laid plans,” Princess Bubblegum cuts in, “but what about the Lich? We can’t just leave him on my front door like this.”    

“Ah, I actually intend to bring the Lich back to Human Town, Princess. The weapons we used are really tools we’ve been using to capture and study monsters around Ooo. We have a much more long-term storage facility – using the same fields and anti-mind control tech you see here, of course – where we can keep him contained indefinitely, if we don’t find a way to destroy him permanently.”

Princess Bubblegum frowns. “I’m sorry, Leader Malloy, but that’s simply out of the question. The Lich **has** to be destroyed and I’m not letting him leave my sight until that happens.”

“And you’re set on this decision, no matter what I say?”

“Unfortunately, yes, I am.”

Leader Malloy sighs. “Alright. Safeties.”

“Wha-”

The two guards draw pistols and fire on PB, Marceline, Simon, FP, and HW without hesitation. PB and Simon take shots to their heads right off the bat. Fortunately, instead of bullets, the guns appear to only fire power neutralizing stubs. The stubs glow blue as soon as they hit their foreheads and they flop to the ground like wet noodles.

“BONNIE, SIMON!” Marceline cries. She hisses and swipes at their attackers, throwing them both back before getting tagged in the shoulder from another set of guards emerging from one of the transports as they start to land around them.

“Gah! Can’t anyone in Ooo work things out without backstabbing someone in the process?” Flame Princess yells. She summons a flame shield around herself, burning out the circuitry in the stubs before they can penetrate it.

Huntress Wizard uses her levitation powers to catch the barrage of stubs aimed at her while dodging and weaving through the firefight. “Tell me about it! I could sense that he was lying; I just wasn’t sure why he would. Crescent kick!” She shouts as she hooks one of the guards across the face with the heel of her boot.

“Malloy!” Finn whirls on their betrayer with his sword drawn. Yet, the head of the human colony already has the drop on him with a pistol of his own. “What are you doing?!”

“What am I doing, Finn? Only what every leader on this world has ever sought to do: I am gaining power to ensure the future of our people.”

At this, Malloy pulls the trigger and Finn feels the metal capsule slug him in the center of his chest. His sword clatters do the ground and Finn follows with it as the strength in his legs gives out. Above him, Malloy signals to one of the transports hovering overhead. It touches down next to them with its cargo bay open. Another guard unit scrambles down the ramp. One of them snaps a metal cable into the top of the Lich’s cage, quickly reeling the undead necromancer inside. Another picks Finn up and slings him helplessly over their shoulder before carrying him into the bay. The Minerva-bot follows emotionlessly behind him.

While still in the thick of the firefight, Huntress Wizard catches sight of Finn being hauled off and bares her teeth in rage.

“Oh no you don’t! You aren’t going anywhere!”

She leaps high into the air and summons several powerful arrows to her aid. More than enough to clip a robotic wing or two, she reckons. A robotic voice chirps up from the transport before she can fire, though:

“Neutralizing spicy hot fire girl and feral forest green bean.”

A dense ball of blue energy erupts outward in all directions from the transport. Flame Princess shrieks and collapses as the field extinguishes her body. It then slams Huntress Wizard back with enough force that she bounces off the ground and into the chunk of candy wall several feet behind. Cracks web outward from her crumpled form. Consciousness fading fast, Huntress Wizard reaches out weakly toward the craft as it lifts off into the night sky.

“Finn, don’t. P-please…”     

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait and the relatively not-so-long chapter everyone. I'm in the middle of various life changes right now, so I'm finding a lot less time to work on the story than before. Not to worry, though, I'm still picking away at it whenever I get a spare second. And I will finish this story, you have my word on that. So enjoy, and thanks for reading! - NeoSartor_Resartus

Watching the confrontation with the Lich unfurl from his vantage point within the central castle tower, Peppermint Butler had been moments away from speaking all the secret names of every demon he knew to save his mistress. Calling on demons for deliverance was a risky ploy – more than likely to exacerbate the situation than it was to resolve it – but it was a chance he’d been willing to take until the last-second intervention of the humans. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he almost thanked Glob, himself, for their apparent guardian angels. That was, right up until he saw The Maid. No sooner had he recognized it, than Peppermint Butler was running headlong down the stairs toward the castle entrance.

It was impossible. Only Finn, Jake, and those within Prismo’s most trusted inner circle knew anything about The Maid and its effect on the Lich. Yet, not only had the humans uncovered its existence, they’d somehow acquired the artifact and weaponized it to boot. The logistics behind such an intricate blend of science and magic, even under the most generous of circumstances, would require several months of meticulous planning in advance. Which led Peppermint Butler to a single inescapable conclusion: the whole thing was a setup. He couldn’t fathom the how or why of it, but the humans had gone to truly extraordinary lengths to capture the Lich for themselves. What’s more, they were more than willing to put all the inhabitants of Ooo in mortal peril to achieve their ends.

He had to reach the Princess and the others as quickly as possible. There was no telling what would happen if the humans decided that any of them were potential loose ends to their plans.

Now, as he rounds the side of the wall, Peppermint Butler is just in time to see the ball of blue light erupt out from one of the transports, flinging Huntress Wizard against the ground.

“No!”

He sprints into the battlefield while the transports lift off and flee into the horizon. For now, there is nothing he can do to stop them; his current priority is to ensure that the Princess and her friends were not seriously harmed. A long shock of pink hair pooled upon the ground catches his attention right away and he dashes over to it. Sure enough, Princess Bubblegum lies there, her skin and muscles loose across her body like a half-deflated balloon.

“Peps…inhibitor.” She speaks slowly, her voice distorted from a nearly paralyzed voice-box.

Noticing the glowing blue capsule on her forehead, Peppermint Butler reaches down and tries to yank it off. No matter how hard he tries, though, it refuses to budge.

“Owwaah…” The Princess slurs.

Peppermint Butler stops to think for a moment and scans the field for anything he could use. His gaze eventually alights on Flame Princess. The young elemental is locked in a fetal position, shivering intensely as she tries to conserve what little heat she has left.

“Ah! Flame Princess, Your Highness, one moment please.”

He chants briefly as he approaches her, conjuring a simple elemental fire rune into his hand. With a snap of his fingers, a small fireball lobs out and lands on her side. Like a match to kindling, the ignition spreads out across her body and the princess gives a heavy sigh of relief as she returns to her bright and blazing self.

“Mmn, ahhh…much better,” she says as she sits back up and stretches. “Thanks, Pep-But. That chill was really starting to set in, there.”

“Think nothing of it, Princess. If you would, could you lend me some assistance in removing this contraption from Princess Bubblegum? It seems to be affixed to her skin.”

“Oh, yeah, alright.”

Flame Princess gets up and walks over. Leaning over PB, she holds up her index finger and concentrates. The tip of her digit grows a brighter yellow than the rest of her hand and she presses it through the top of the capsule. The inhibitor sparks and smokes upon contact before losing its glow and falling off to the side. In an instant, Princess Bubblegum's body is back to its original springy elasticity. She beams at them with an alarming sweetness as Peppermint Butler helps her up off the ground.

“Thank you both. Flame Princess: please go free Marcy. Peps: tend to Huntress Wizard. I’m about to throw a huge shouting fit in just a few seconds, so feel free to tune me out.”

“Uh, okay.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. Remember to take deep breaths.”

“GAAAAAAAAH! Glob JAM IT! I can’t _believe_ I just got suckered by a bunch of freaking Johnny-Come-Lately humans! I let them set up a whole colony on my land – just for them – out of the goodness of my heart, and this is how they repay me?! How dare they! HOW DARE THEY!”

While Princess Bubblegum continues to rant and rave, FP and Peppermint Butler each head over to attend to their allotted tasks. Flame Princess finds Marceline slumping facedown in the dirt. From the look of it, the vampire queen had been trying to worm (or perhaps ‘slug’ was a more fitting parallel) her way towards PB after taking a hit. She hadn’t gotten far.  

Kneeling, FP carefully roasts the capsule on her friend’s shoulder. Just as with PB, Marceline’s skin and muscle tone bounce back neatly into place. She doesn’t get up. Instead, she just rolls over onto her back and stares blankly into the star-filled sky.

“Marceline? You okay?”

“They took Simon. He was only here because of me and they took him.”

“We can…go get him? As soon as everyone finishes recovering.”

She grits her teeth as she transforms her arm into a large scaly claw and rakes it across the rocky earth next to her. “Jam STRAIGHT we are! I’m gonna force feed that Malloy dude one of those capsule thingies, then rip out his finger and toenails one at a time!”

Flame Princess scoots back a little. “Cool, cool. But, before we dip into ultraviolence, you might want to take a sec to talk to PB. She’s wigging out pretty hard over there.”

Her pointy ears twitch about, finally catching upon the gum girl’s unhinged railings as they spill out in the background. Marceline drifts up and quickly zips over to her lover’s side. She takes her gently into her arms from behind and whispers into her ear while reassuringly stroking her hair. After a moment, Princess Bubblegum takes a deep breath and sags back into her girlfriend’s comforting hold. Marceline gives her a smooch on the cheek.

“Geez,” Flame Princess rolls her eyes.

Further out, Peppermint Butler navigates the scattered segments of rubble leading up to Huntress Wizard’s toppled form. He could sense that the forest nymph’s magical signature was still as strong as ever, so there was no chance of her untimely death. Even so, it was no indication as to whether she had suffered any serious injuries during her fall. That blast had thrown the poor girl hard, after all. He stoops down and flips her cloak back over her shoulder to examine her fully.

Some bruising, along with a few nasty scrapes and cuts along her left arm and the edge of her face. Luckily, there are no open compound fractures on any of her extremities. He reaches out and prods at her side lightly.

“Miss Wizard? Can you hear me?”      

“Nnuhn?” Huntress Wizard stirs. “Forest Spirit?”

“I’m afraid not, Miss Wizard. Just Peppermint Butler.”

“Oh, right, sorry. I thought-” She pauses and sits up, rubbing her head. “I thought I was back somewhere else.”

“Miss Wizard: look directly at me, if you would.”

She complies, aligning her slit green eyes with his. He presses the small crystal on his cufflink and a small light shines out directly into her pupils. Peppermint Butler studies them carefully.

“I’m pretty sure I don’t have any brain damage, Pep-but.”

“It never hurts to be thorough, but I believe you’re right: no unequal dilation in the pupils or slurred speech patterns. Do you feel nauseous or off-balance at all?”

Huntress Wizard does a sitting backflip into a one-armed handstand. She gives him a matter-of-fact look from her upside-down position. “Does that answer your question?”

“Ahem, yes. You seem to be in excellent shape, but please let me know if you start feeling at all unwell.”

“Noted.”

“Shall we join the others, then?”

“Let’s.”      

The forest nymph cartwheels back to her feet and follows Peppermint Butler over to where the three royals are waiting for them. Flame Princess raises a hand in greeting at their approach.

“You okay, HW?”

“A bit banged up, but nothing a few bandages wouldn’t fix.”

“Glad to hear it. Compared to where we were sitting before the humans showed up, this all could’ve turned out a whole lot worse.”

“Yeah, I’ll say,” Princess Bubblegum says, running her gaze over the unconscious warriors littering the field. “I’m surprised the Lich didn’t turn this whole scene into a bloodbath. I guess everyone did their part in keeping him distracted. Speaking of which: VPB?”

The AI blinks on from Peppermint Butler’s cufflink. “Yes, my creator?”

“Give the order for all reserve banana and cake guards to gather the wounded into the infirmary.”

“At once. Shall I lower the Royal Aegis shielding as well?”

“Hmm, keep it on, but with minimal power. We might have to rev it up to full again at a moment’s notice.”

“Very well.”

“Excellent. Dismissed.”

VPB’s hologram blinks off and the shield around the Candy Kingdom grows far more transparent. After a moment, the main gate opens and a herd of banana guards with stretchers file down towards the battlefield.

“Well,” Marceline speaks up, “what’re we waiting around here for? Let’s go roll up to Human Town and nab our friends back! We can visit some swift Ooo-style justice on Leader Malloy and ice the Lich while we’re there, too.”

“We will, Marcy, for sure, but we need to be sensible. This attack came from so out of left-field that I’m not entirely sure what we’re dealing with here.”

“Couldn’t you have just let them take the Lich off our hands, PB?” Flame Princess chimes in. “We don’t even know if there’s a way for us to destroy him. That setup Malloy was talking about actually sounded like a pretty good deal from where I was sitting.”

“Flame Princess, I know you’re a lot looser when it comes to protecting your people, but I **can’t** have a group of insular neophytes sitting on top of the most dangerous being on the planet just a few miles outside my castle. I need him taken care of, once and for all.”

Bridling at the passive-aggressive insinuation, FP is about to shoot back, but Peppermint Butler cuts in before the discussion can take a more heated turn.

“My liege is correct, Flame Princess. Though, I’m afraid it’s not for the reason that she believes.”

Princess Bubblegum quirks an eyebrow. “Do tell, Peps.”

“Let’s just say that I have particular knowledge concerning the artifact that they used to seal the Lich in that cage. It is not something you simply have readily available. It is a unique item that is intrinsically bound to the Lich. Procuring such an object would have taken them months, at the very least.”

“Which means they knew in advance that the Lich would even be around for them to use it on him.”

“Correct, Miss Wizard.”

“They…” PB’s eyes go wide in dawning horror. “Oh Glob, they were the ones who sent us into the dungeon we unwittingly smuggled the Lich out of! They knew he was in there from the start!”

“What?!” Flame Princess exclaims. “You were the ones that dug him out from whatever hole he was in?”

“Like I said, we didn’t know the Lich was inside at the time. He used his shape-shifting powers to disguise himself as an old artifact. I didn’t think there was any harm in letting Finn keep it.”

“Oh, so you’re all up in arms against any _political_ rivals sitting on something that’s a potential threat to your kingdom, but then you can just let Finn waltz away with what could have been – and pretty much was – an object of unspeakable evil power?”

“I trust Finn when it comes to anything related to dungeoneering, so I didn’t think twice about it. But I admit that it was an oversight on my part. I’m sorry.”

“Heck, dudes, hindsight is always 20-20. We got played. Like, straight-up duped. The only thing we can do now is decide on how we deal with it.”

“Granted,” PB admits. “But how did the humans learn about one of the Lich’s only weaknesses? And why are they so desperate to capture him that they risked unleashing him in the first place?”

“There’s exactly one way for us to find out,” HW summons an arrow and runs a hand across the shaft, transforming it into a spear. She jabs it in the direction of Human Town. “We go over there and make them tell us. And rescue our friends.”   

“They’ll know we’re coming.”

“Yeah, they’ll know,” Huntress Wizard’s eyes flash brutally behind her mask. “They’ll know they messed with the wrong gang of tranches when we come roaring down on top of them with fire, fangs, and arrows.”

Marceline and Flame Princess appear to second the idea with a pair of wicked grins.

Princess Bubblegum grimaces at the trio’s mutual itch for combat. “Guys, I want to get back at them, too, but let’s try to keep the collateral damage to a minimum, okay? These are still Finn’s people that we’re talking about. I’m willing to bet that most of the other humans aren’t even aware of what Leader Malloy is doing.”

She looks off, watching the banana guards piling the kingdom’s defenders onto stretchers. Sighing at all the damage surrounding them, Princess Bubblegum straightens up and lets out a loud caw into the air. Satisfied, she returns her attention to her friends.

“But you’re right, Huntress Wizard. We need to hit them fast and hard if we’re going to have any chance of reaching Finn and the others before Malloy and his goons hole up behind all their tech. I’ve summoned The Morrow. Peppermint Butler: you and VPB head up relief efforts around the castle while I’m away. See to it that all the wounded receive any medical care that they might require.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Good.”

A screech of a falcon sounds from above, followed close by the beat of powerful wings.

“Saddle up, girls; it’s looking to be a long Groddang night.”

* * *

A single overhead emergency LED provides the only point of illumination for the interior of the cargo bay. It swathes the transport’s mechanical workings in an eerie crimson that serves only to sharpen the adjoining shadows. Malloy and his soldiers had all disappeared into the cockpit after liftoff, leaving Finn alone with the Lich and the cold husk of his mother by the cabin door. Unable to move from his position strewn limply over the bay floor, Finn has no choice but to gaze directly at his nemesis sitting across from him. Behind the field of his cage, the Lich’s skull is similarly halved in crimson light and shadow. His eyes still cut straight through the gloom, though, burning down intently at him.

There’s a smile splitting up along the half of the Lich’s face that he can see.

“When your friends arrive to rescue you, I trust that they will be extended all the _courtesies_ customary of your kind’s reception of outsiders. It would be unfortunate if they were killed on sight; I still have such designs for them.”

“They…wou-”

“You only embarrass yourself attempting to speak in your current state, child. But quite a turn of events, hmm? You would do well to savior the precious little time that their interference has bought you.” He chuckles darkly. “Before we reach that long-awaited finale, though, there is still one question I would pose to you, Finn. Did you ever once consider _why_ it is that I seek to excise all life from existence?”

Finn lets out a warped “Wha?” in reply.

“Hn. No, of course not. Evil must remain simple and unambiguous. Perfect for a hero to justify their own self-righteousness over. I am evil, yes, but merely to the extent of your living perception. Observe:”

The Lich raises a hand with his palm facing up. A green, glowing image of a cell materializes above it.  

“Life, by its nature, desires absolute control over all things in the hope of perpetuating its strength and longevity. It rages ceaselessly against every external pressure – every conceivable inevitability – and cultivates new methods to extend its tenuous grasp on existence.”

The Lich squeezes the tips of his fingers into the image. As if in response, the image starts to divide and multiply, slowly pushing back his grip.   

“As time wears on, this evolutionary arms race eventually spawns beings like you humans, the elementals, or countless other hyper-sentients scattered across the void.”

The cells combine into a nondescript silhouette of a person.

“These races culminate in the production of certain individuals or groups who come to embody life’s arrogance. They do so by attempting to profane the fundamental laws that balance the multi-verse in exchange for the control that they so desperately lust after. I, across all dimensions, am the cosmic counterbalance against such attempts. My sacred task is to periodically sterilize all life within every universe to keep it from metastasizing and irrevocably destroying the sum of all realities.”

A mushroom cloud envelops the human’s silhouette, turning it into ash.

“Thereby, I become the eternal fount for Lord Golb’s ocean of chaos: the sweeping tide by which life’s reckless pursuit of absolute order is swept away again and again and again.”

Here, the Lich pauses. An almost mournful expression crosses his skeletal features.

“But I have failed.”

Finn grunts in confusion.

“All because of you and your friends, Finn: you, the Ice King, and that cursed woman out of time, Betty. It was her wish – that desperate, _mortal_ ache for control made manifest in the crown’s original purpose – which allowed her to merge with Lord Golb. And with her thoughtless act of desecration, she has unwittingly doomed us all.”

The undead necromancer leans forward in his cell, bringing his face as close to the field as possible.

“Regardless of wish magic, no mortal mind can hope to encompass all entropic energy throughout the multi-verse. As we speak, her will is slowly crumbling beneath the unspeakable strain of becoming a cosmic god. When that comes to pass, both she and Lord Golb will perish as one, and so too will this reality. All realities. Forevermore. Unless I act soon to stop it.”

Were Finn capable of communicating any emotion at this instance, his face would have been a mask of abject shock. So much of what he’d done to help and defend the people of Ooo…had he inadvertently brought even greater ruin down upon them all by fighting to maintain their current cycle of existence? The question, itself, betrayed the very fabric of his hero heart. It had to be a lie. It had to. It **HAD** to.

“Now do you comprehend the enormity of what you and your friends’ actions have wrought, Finn the **Human**?!”

Finn tries to summon the strength to shout back, but the transport rocks to a halt before he can. The Minerva-bot wakes from standby mode.

“Arriving at Human Town,” She chimes cheerfully. “Please wait until we are fully parked before moving about the cabin and mind your step upon exiting the craft.”

The ratcheting chug of hydraulics marks the decent of the ship. It then touches down with a weighty metallic creak. The overhead LED winks off, momentarily throwing the cargo bay into darkness before the bay door gradually whirrs open. More harsh floodlights spill in, around the profiles of Leader Malloy and his soldiers.

“Restrain the boy,” Malloy orders curtly. “Take them all into the central tower. As of now, all quarantine failsafe protocols are in effect: triple redundancy.”

Several soldiers march up the ramp and over to the Lich. They deploy a small floating platform beside him and then proceed with trained precision to secure his cage on top of it. One woman in a crocodile hat separates from the group and bends down over Finn. She claps a set of laser handcuffs over his wrists and, once again, hauls him over her shoulder. As they walk out onto the landing pad, Finn catches a glimpse of Simon, Susan, and Frieda all in similar states as his own.

Finn knows he should feel an urge to struggle – to shout, to do anything in resistance against their current circumstance. Yet, after what the Lich told him, Finn is unable to muster any feeling other than a bitter sense of self-loathing. He didn’t want to believe it; the better part of him didn’t, in fact. But he couldn’t ignore the twisted sort of sense threading through the Lich’s words. If he was right to fight against the Lich, win or lose, they would all eventually die and be reborn anew. But If he was wrong…then he would be responsible for the eternal annihilation of everyone and everything, across every universe that was or would ever exist.

And, ultimately, it all stemmed from that single, childish desire of his: to be a hero.

* * *

“BMO, I am of an increasingly skeptical opinion that either Finn, Jake, or Lady Rainicorn would support our – or, more precisely, your – decision to stow away in a human transport ship.”

NEPTR and BMO move clunkily over the twisting bundles of electronics that line the small series of cavities abutting the ship’s main cargo area. BMO’s screen provides the only source of light for the two robots. A bump from the landing causes BMO to clink up against his companion’s electric oven.

“But I am telling you, NEPTR, _everyone_ will be glad that we came because I am the only one who can defeat the Lich and make everyone’s birthday dream wishes come true. They will be happy to see you because, um…we all love you very much.”

“Aww, how lovely, BMO. Sometimes, I have doubts that you and the others even care abo-”

“ _No more of your voice!_ ” BMO hisses, smushing a hand over NEPTR’s mouth.

The little robot crawls over to a small vent and motions for NEPTR to join them. Moving about as stealthily as a pair of skidding treads allows (that is, not at all), the automated pie pelter positions himself as best he can next to his older sibling. As they peer through the slats, they spy several armed soldiers hauling the Lich and their human friends across the runway with Leader Malloy and Minerva trailing close behind them. Their procession promptly fades out of view as soon as they leave the well-lit section of the landing strip.

“There’s our no-good target. Can you track them with your sensors, NEPTR? They seem a very slippery bunch.”

“I can always track Father, no matter how many times he abandons me.”

“Good. Get on top of it while I make us an exit. YEEAH!”

BMO throws her little fist against the vent cover, producing a small *bap* sound.

“Oh, one moment…HYAAA!”

*Bap*

*Bap*

*BAP*

Scooting back, BMO takes a running start and rams the top of her body against the barrier. It pops out on impact, dropping BMO over the edge with the grace of a brick.

She thuds against the ground, hard.

“GKKzzzsht!”

“BMO, had you waited, I would have issued a reminder of my extension mod that could have lowered us both down safely.”

“You are _gkkst_ really chaffing my modem raw, NEPTR. Oof.”

* * *

“PUPS!”

Jake shoots up from his position on the floor of the infirmary and wangs his head against the ceiling.

“Ow!”

“Relax, Dad. We’re all here.”

Tenderly rubbing his forehead until the pain fades away, Jake shrinks a bit so he can sit up properly and looks down to see Charlie lounging in her hospital bed. His daughter has several gauze pads set across her left arm and along the left side of her face. Part of her hair is burnt off and blackened along the ends.

“Aw, Charlie, Honey! Are you okay?”

“The blisters underneath my bandages stung like crazy for a hot minute, but the painkillers the doc hooked me up with really take the edge off.” Her eyelashes flutter lazily as she sinks a bit deeper into her pillow.

“Grod! Lich!” Jake curses. “What the heck happened, anyway? Last thing I remember is getting zapped all up in my bread and butter. We’re not dead…so, did we beat him?”

“Don’t ask me,” Jake Jr. speaks up from the bed opposite to Jake. Like her brothers and sisters, she is in a similar state of traction from the Lich’s fire attack with several layers of gauze wrapped around both her legs. “Mom dragged us in here before we got a chance to see how things played out. She brought you in, too, Dad. Your butt was too big to fit past the door, so she had to phase you through the wall. She’s still out there, helping to bring others inside.”

“I’ve discussed the matter to a degree with some of the reserve banana guards as they’ve brought in more victims,” Kim Kil Wan says. “Oddly enough, the humans intervened and subdued the Lich on our behalf.”

“Really? That’s great! Maybe they can also help with snapping Finn and the girls out of that trance thingy.” Jake glances about, trying to spot his brother’s trademark color scheme among the various hospital beds. “Where is he anyhow? I’m pretty sure the doctors put him and the others somewhere in here.”

“Yes, well, about that...somehow, Finn and your friends slipped out from their collective coma. They met the humans, but something went wrong during the exchange. A skirmish ensued between the two parties. During it, the humans managed to capture the Lich and Finn before making their escape. Princess Bubblegum, Flame Princess, Marceline, and the nymph girl have all gone after them, apparently.”

“WHAT?”

“Ugh,” TV groans. “Dad: don’t shout, I have a killer migraine right now.”

“Sorry, Son! But your Pee-pops can’t talk with his inside tone while your uncle has been kidnapped by his own people! I gotta get over there, now!”

“UGH!” TV groans again and buries his ears underneath his pillow.

Jake stretches for the infirmary’s entrance, only to bump up against Lady Rainicorn. She glares down at him disapprovingly.

“어디가는거야 생각하십니까?”

“Oh, Lady, hi! I’m just gonna go…grab Finn from those humans real quick, so I’ll be back in two shakes of my tail.”

“당신과 가족이 다 쳤어요, 제이크 우리는 여기서 쉬어야합니다.”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry. I’d stay with you guys, but Finn is all on his own now, Lady. I need to look out for my baby brother whenever I have the chance. I love him and I love you.” He stretches up and kisses her on the tip of her snout. “And you know that.”

Lady Rainicorn sighs heavily and returns the kiss. “승인,” She offers him her long, flowing back. “나는 그것을 후회하기 전에 에 타.”

“Really? You’ll help?”

She nods, giving her croup an encouraging wiggle. Jake happily springs up and locks his legs and arms around his girl-wife-friend.

“YEHAA! Now, let’s go catch up to PB and the girls. Can’t have them starting the party without us!”

“UGGGH!” TV moans loudly from underneath his blanket.

“Oops, sorry, son. Your mother and I are gonna go save your Uncle Finn and possibly all of Ooo along with him. If we survive, I’ll make us all my special pancake-surprise breakfast in the morning. Love you, kids.”

“Just get outta here, Mom and Dad!” Jake Jr. cries, “You’re embarrassing us!”

“Fair enough, my darling JJ. Away, Lady!”

At this, Lady Rainicorn coils up like a spring and shoots upward, phasing through the ceiling with her love clinging lovingly against her.

* * *

Banana Guard 104, or Ten-Four as he liked to be called, stands idly at his post, etching random patterns into the floor with the tip of his spear. It was always so dull getting picked to watch this part of the castle; no one even used it anymore ever since _those_ _two_ had decided to settle in. Worse yet, he was stuck up here right when all this other super exciting stuff was going on, like sleep hexes and battling a rampaging Lich. He wishes he’d gotten a chance to charge out into battle with his brothers and sisters, even if it was scary. He might’ve even scored a medal for valor from the Princess, herself, once she woke up.

Ten-Four sighs longingly at the thought.

Maybe it would’ve gotten him that captain position he’d been aiming for all these years. Still, it wasn’t like this post didn’t have its own share of dangers. If the Lich’s attack had damaged the tower directly, there was no telling what would-

The low creak of an opening door pulls Ten-Four back to his present station. He glances over and sees another banana guard standing in the shadow of the doorway.

“Is it time to switch already? I thought I had a whole ‘nother hour or two to go.”

The new banana guard doesn’t acknowledge him. Instead, he strides forward, making a straight shot for the heavily reinforced door at Ten-Four’s back.

“Hey, man,” he exclaims, barring the peculiar guard’s way with the shaft of his spear. “You know you can’t go back there – no one can. Princess’ orders. What’s your number, by the way?”

At this point, the strange banana guard turns and stares directly at Ten-Four with an unnerving intensity. Ten-Four takes a step back, fumbling to level the tip of his spear at the interloper in a threatening manner.

“H-hey, uh, okay, I’m gonna have to firmly ask you to please leave right now.”

The mysterious banana guard opens his mouth and lets out a hideously shrill shriek as his peel begins to slither up around him. Curling over its host’s face, it crafts a spindly stem for itself from his neck and then spreads its tongue-like leaves out in some grotesque approximation of a flower. Ten-Four can only stand there, frozen in terror, as long, sharp fangs sprout from the edges of its ‘petals’.

He doesn’t even have time to usher a shout.

The horror plunges down on him in an instant and takes the poor guard’s head off with a single swipe of its jaws. His spear clatters to the ground, followed soon after by what remains of his body. Shambling forward, the banana flower promptly wraps itself around the sides of the door and pulls. One by one, the row of deadbolts girding the doorway split through the casing and, with a croaking groan, the heavy door is ripped clear of its hinges.

The yellow flower tosses the splintered hunk of taffy lumber aside and reforms into the shape of a banana guard. It stalks out onto the small bridge across the threshold.

It knows implicitly that the goal is waiting just ahead, ripe and ready for the taking.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies everyone for the long wait. As I said before, life-changes have really curtailed my free time for writing, but I'm still chugging along. Enjoy!
> 
> Also, I'm using a couple of online translators for Lady's Korean. If you speak Korean and her lines are actually just garbage, please let me know of the right way to write it and I'll revise it as quickly as possible.

Huntress Wizard folds her cowl back and takes a moment to enjoy the crisp feeling of wind weaving under her leafy tresses. She seldom flew without first assuming the guise of a bird. It was nice, for once, to experience the rushing world around her without also having to worry about compensating for crosswind displacement or convective currents in her glide path. That wasn’t to say she wasn’t worried, though. Finn was at the complete mercy of his captors, and deeply embroiled in whatever scheme they’d devised with the Lich serving as its linchpin (the ‘Lichpin’, as it were).

She wasn’t overly concerned about her boyfriend’s physical wellbeing. There’d been more than ample opportunity for the humans to make good on any attempt at killing or hurting him. Instead, what truly worried Huntress was the hidden toll the whole ordeal would exact on Finn’s long-term emotional stability. As freely as that sweet trusting boy offered up his heart in the service of others, it seemed that it also provided all life’s cruelties a piteously raw and naked target to catch their hooks upon. She prayed to the good Mother Earth that this latest betrayal wouldn’t cause him to recede into himself – away from her and his friends.

The fact that she’d been powerless to prevent it from transpiring was also particularly galling to the forest nymph.

Princess Bubblegum’s voice breaks over the sound of the wind.

“The tracker I have on Finn shows that he’s being held in the town’s main tower.”

“You have a tracker on Finn? Does he know about that?”

“Oh, uh, not necessarily, Huntress…but I only activate it when it’s an emergency. I swear.”

Huntress Wizard shoots the Princess a disapproving look but, given the circumstances, decides not to press the issue. She’d be demanding some long talks between Bubblegum, Finn, and herself after all of this was over, though.

“Anyway,” PB continues. “I want to reiterate that this is **not** a revenge mission; it’s, above all, a rescue mission. I will not tolerate attacks against any humans who do not pose an immediate threat to us. Even if they do, prioritize non-lethal takedowns. Only use lethal force if you are completely out of other options. Also, refrain from destroying any of Human Town’s infrastructure unless it is directly obstructing our rescue of Finn, Simon, Susan, and Frieda. Is that clear?”

“C’mon, Bonnie, can’t it be just a little bit about revenge?”

“No, Marcy. Once we oust Malloy and find a way to take care of the Lich, the humans will still be living as a _de facto_ sovereign state in Ooo. If we go too hard against them, we risk salting the earth for future diplomatic relations with Founder’s Island and for this dispute escalating into another full-scale war.”

Marceline blows a raspberry. “Man, I was really looking forward to injecting some real fear into the guts of those backstabbers.”

“You can still frighten them, just not in a way that permanently harms them.”   

“I can only get so far when I’m pulling my punches. I want to really hear Malloy and his crew shriek.”

“No, Marcy. We can’t afford any bystanders misinterpreting our intentions as open hostility towards all humans. Not tonight. Everyone will do _only_ what is necessary and nothing more.”

“Hmph. Yeah, okay. I guess you’re right.”

“If it turns out that Malloy has all of Human Town backing him, there might not be any choice but to burn the place to the ground.” Flame Princess points out. “Would you be willing to make that kind of call, PB?”

“We’ll cross that bridge if we’re forced to come to it, Phoebe. For now, let’s take an ‘innocent until proven guilty’ approach to things.”

“Fine with me. I just hope you’re up for making some tough decisions if things go bad while we’re in there. Cuz things could go _really_ bad, really fast.”

Princess Bubblegum nods solemnly. “I know. Even if it does, we’ll get through this together.”

The Morrow pitches downward into a coasting descent once Sweet Water Bay gradually trawls into view. Nestled within its tall walls, Human Town appears dark and still against the churning black backdrop of the ocean. Most of its residents appeared to have retired to bed some hours ago, leaving nearly all its buildings deserted. All buildings save for one: the central tower. The keep is lit up brighter than anything else for miles around as it looms high within the dead of night.

Looking with her Huntress Vision, HW makes out a ring of Minerva-bots lining the top of it. They are all standing equal-distant from one another, facing outward while holding hands in one unbroken chain.

“What the blood?” Huntress Wizard murmurs.

She doesn’t have time to dissect the bizarre scene any further, however. She senses a subtle charge to the air building rapidly around them.

“We have to bail!” She shouts. “Now!”

“What, you mean like ju-AHHHHHH!”

Huntress breaks off Flame Princess’s question by shoving her over the Morrow’s side and then dives out into the air herself. Taking the hint, Marceline grabs Princess Bubblegum by the waist and launches away. Seconds later a bright orange beam descends from the sky, clipping the Morrow’s left wing. The large hawk shrieks in pain and tumbles downward.

“Morrow!” Princess Bubblegum shouts, reaching out as if trying to catch her falling animal companion. Marceline restrains her tightly to keep her from wiggling loose as they watch the mighty bird sink towards the earth. Before colliding, however, the Morrow is able to flap one wing with just enough strength to pull herself into a jagged landing. She plows through the brush and dirt before finally skidding to a stop.

Shifting into a sparrow, Huntress Wizard flits down into a copse of pin oaks just to the side of the Morrow’s crash site. She hides herself away amongst the bristle-tipped leaves and preemptively braces for takeoff at the first sign of a secondary attack from above. None comes. All that follows is the crack and rustle of branches as the rest of her friends drop in through the top of the canopy directly behind her.

Princess Bubblegum appears visibly shaken as Marceline lowers her to the grassy floor.

“I should have known!” She berates herself as she dashes over toward her wounded bird. “I should have known they’d already have their airspace locked down!”

“Calm down, Bonnie. We need that big brain of yours if we’re going to find a way around that laser.”

“Calm down?! Morrow’s hurt and I can’t get her out of here!”

She kneels down next to her feathered friend and examines the burn on the edge of her wing. The flesh is badly burnt. Far worse than anything she could hope to treat out here. PB feels tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, stroking the big bird’s neck feathers.

The Morrow looks up at her with one large eye and coos softly in response to her mistress’ touch.

“She says that she regrets being unable to deliver you to your destination.” Huntress Wizard translates, having just reverted to her normal form before slipping out from the branches. She lands next to them and gently places both hands on either side of the burn. The Morrow flinches at the contact but remains still as Huntress starts to hum. A white light emanates from her fingertips and then slowly swirls about the injury, running like water until it immerses the cooked flesh completely.

The pain evident in the Morrow’s eye gradually dissipates and her posture grows more relaxed as the spell goes on. After a time, HW stops humming and removes her hands from the bird’s wing. The light fades and a featherless scar remains in its place.

“There we go,” Huntress proclaims, satisfied with her work. “I use that spell for healing much smaller critters, but I think it should hold for now.”

The Morrow shifts back to her feet and gives her wing a testing flap. Though the movement is not as fluid as before, the limb does not hitch in pain. The large bird delivers a series of thankful chirps.

“She says ‘thank you’ and that she will wait here in case we need her to carry us from this place.”

Princess Bubblegum abruptly wraps Huntress Wizard into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Huntress,” She says. Her voice breaks just a little while trying not to cry. “I…I just…she’s been with me for so long. I know I’m a bit peevish with you at times, but, really, I’m so glad that you’re our friend. My friend.”

Surprised, the nymph gives PB a hesitant pat on the back. “Uh, thanks? You’re a good friend, too, Bubblegum.”

“Alright, I’m alright,” Princess Bubblegum lets go of Huntress Wizard and wipes away the tears in her eyes. She sniffs. “Just getting a little emotional, but I’m okay. Let’s try figuring out a way around their defense system. Huntress: fire an arrow toward Human Town.”

“Sure.”

Huntress floats an arrow up from her quiver and casts it out across the field. It flies for some distance before hitting into the ground.

Princess Bubblegum waits for a few seconds before turning to Marceline. “Okay. Marcy, I want you to turn invisible and then, very gently, float out towards where Huntress’ arrow landed.”

“Can do.”

The vampire queen fades from sight and leaves her three friends waiting on tenterhooks. Only a few seconds pass and another beam thunders down from on high. Marceline yelps, ditching her invisibility as she swiftly recoils back under cover. The beam strikes, carving out another smoking hole from the grassy field.

“Hmm. It’s not completely dependent on motion activation. Though, it seems to recognize any non-human entities upon entry into its range of fire, regardless of visibility…”

“This is going to be heck-a tricky getting past,” FP says.

“I could use my shapeshifting powers to dig us a way over.”

“Good instincts, Marcy, but getting through all that dirt would take hours if we start at this distance. We don’t have that kind of time.” Princess Bubblegum looks between her three friends, carefully weighing each of their abilities. She eventually settles on Flame Princess. “Phoebe, would it be possible for you to create an intense dome of heat directly above us?”

“I think so, but you guys probably won’t be too comfortable being underneath it, if that’s what you’re planning.”  

“Huntress, can you cast Fire Shield on us?”

She shakes her head. “Sorry, I already blew that spell slot for today. And I didn’t really get a chance to recharge while we were sleeping, either.”

“Dooonk me,” Marceline groans. “I can already tell this is gonna suck all kinds of butts.”

“We’ll just have to deal with it then. Okay, FP: on my command raise that heat dome; the hotter on top, the better. Once it’s raised, we all make a run for Human Town. Keep together and, no matter how sweltering it gets, don’t stray from Flame Princess. Everyone got that?”

They all nod their agreement.

“Good. Hit it, FP.”

Flame Princess raises her arms and forges a large sheet of fire shaped like a parachute overhead. A sheen of sweat bathes HW, BP, and Marceline straight away as the heat rolls over them.

“As much as I love seeing you covered in sweat, Peebs, I’m still not sure how sautéing in our own juices is gonna keep us laser-proofed.”

“You’ll see. Now, run!”

The girls break into a dash (save for Marceline, who opts to float instead) into the open field with Human Town dead ahead. Predictably, a beam blasts down from the sky right as they head out from under the trees. Just as it enters the ultra-heated air above Flame Princess’ fire-blanket, however, the orange laser warps and shoots off harmlessly to the side.

“Hey, we haven’t been vaporized!”

“Yes, Marcy, good of you *huff* to notice. The gas density in Flame Princess’ fire *huff* induces a change in the refraction index above us, *huff* which causes the laser to deviate from its initial path.”

“Rad,” HW remarks, sweat rolling off into her darkening attire.

Another laser flies down and, once again, turns off target to leave a smoking hole in the dirt behind them.

“There’s still a chance that the laser will cross FP’s blanket with only minimal deviation, though, isn’t there?”

“Yeah, well, *huff* just cross your fingers and *huff* and hope to Glob that our luck holds out.”

Rails of light continue to hammer upon them as they draw closer to the gates of Human Town, each round deflecting against FP’s protective flame. There are several close calls, regardless. Some even slip in to strike within a few scant inches of the girls’ feet. As perilous as their position is, though, it’s all that the three non-flamish members of the group can do to keep pace amidst the suffocating heat.      

“Gah!” Marceline shouts in frustration as she peels back another lock of sweat-logged hair off of her face. “I’m so soaked, I can barely see straight!”

Huntress Wizard pushes her drooping mask back up the bridge of her nose to realign the eyeholes. “Same here. We keep this up, we’re not going to be in much shape to storm this place.”

“Not to mention that I’m starting to run low on fuel to keep this fire going.”

“Keep it together *huff*, you guys *huff*,” Princess Bubblegum pants. The gum girl’s profile is starting to look a lot more melty than normal. “We’re almost ***HUFF*** there.”

Pushing a few more grueling yards ahead, Huntress Wizard catches sight of some thin square holes opening up near Human Town’s front gate with her Huntress Vision. Between the flash of laser blasts and the constant deluge of sweat across her eyes, it’s difficult for her to make out what they are until she sees several long steel turrets extend out from them. They swivel about before training their muzzles squarely at them.

Huntress Wizard leaps into action.

She slings out three arrows and sends them spiraling up through the nearest barrels with a deadeye’s aim. There’s a heavy click and a trio of turrets rupture simultaneously. The explosion belches out a heavy cloud of black smoke which leaves the remaining guns unable to pick up their targets. They begin firing blindly.

“Get up against the wall, quick!” Huntress calls out above the rattle of automatic gunfire.

Flame Princess drops her fire sheet and jets forward before another beam can touch her. Marceline, in turn, assumes her larger bat form, picks up PB, and takes off swiftly after their fiery friend. Huntress Wizard stops running. The smoke screen is already starting to clear. More stainless-steel turrets reveal themselves, glinting like moonlit fangs as they readjust their aim towards her. She feels the air charging up around her once again.

HW bends over and places her hands against the grass.

“RRrrggh!”

The nymph is drawn down – sucked – into a grassy undertow, rapidly transfusing her body across the soundless and sightless vernal realms. A hail of bullets and a laser bolt shred the spot she’d occupied seconds prior, but Huntress Wizard is already well beyond their mark by now. Covering the final stretch that leads up to the side of Human Town in a matter of seconds, she bursts out of the soil as an oak tree and pops back to her original form. It puts her right next to her friends as they lean panting against the metal bulwark.

“That went a lot *huuf* better than I expected,” PB says, smoothing out a few dripping areas along her arms. “Excellent work keeping that satellite off our buns, Phoebe.”

“No big deal,” Flame Princess replies. “Always *huff* fun to play around with lasers.”

“And nice save at the end, HW.”

“ _Merci_ , Marcy. Now, what’s the plan for getting through that shielding?”

“Whatever it is, I hope it doesn’t rely on more heat.” Flame Princess slumps back against the wall. “I am wiped after all this junk.”

“Dig time now, Peebs?”

Princess Bubblegum gives Marceline a thumbs-up. “Go for it.”

“Rock. Cover my six while I’m at it.”

All of Marceline’s features fall away as her form twists and froths. Her body re-solidifies into a long carapace with a giant tooth-filled mouth, flanked by five arms on each side – a Mother Varmint.

“Time to chew up some scenery,” Marceline quips before diving mouth-first into the ground.

“Booo!” PB and FP heckle the giant bug queen, each giving her a thumbs-down as mounds of dirt fly out around them.

From the sidelines, Huntress Wizard gaze strays up along the steel wall to the top of the tower behind it. At this angle, it appears to loom above them even taller than ever before. She frowns.

 _‘I’m coming for you, Finn. And I never hunt what I can’t catch.’_  

* * *

 

Golb’s stomach had restored his youth, but there were occasions when Simon felt every bit as old as his actual age. Now, unfortunately, is one of those times. His head and joints ache terribly as he sits in the corner of his cell, hands harshly cuffed around his back. There isn’t even a bed to rest his weary body on, just flat metal and a rimless steel toilet. Susan Strong lies on the floor across from him, still unconscious, with her wrists bound fast by even thicker shackles than his own. One of the human grunts had tossed them in here a good while ago – long enough, at least, for Simon to have tried everything he could think of to remove the inactive neural inhibitor attached to his forehead. While ultimately unsuccessful, the task had given him some time to think.

Obviously enough, the Leader of Founder’s Island – that Malloy fellow and his soldiers – were up to something that both he and his fellow outsider humans would be diametrically opposed to. Hence, their capture and subsequent imprisonment. Malloy had also effectively severed all diplomatic ties with the region after his unprovoked hostility towards Princess Bubblegum and the inhabitants of Ooo. Scant as his knowledge of military and political theory was, Simon recognized that such a reckless move generally signaled a nation or city-state’s move towards open warfare. Yet, the question remained: why would humans want to go to war with Ooo in the first place? The major players of Ooo had been nothing if not supportive in humanity’s attempt to settle into the area. Moreover, the human’s small outpost would be hopelessly outmatched against the combined might of the mainland’s kingdoms. It was borderline suicidal by his reckoning.

Regardless of how ludicrous it all seemed in his head, Simon wasn’t about to waste away in jail with his home and family under threat. He was going to find a way to free himself, Finn, Susan, and Susan’s little friend. The sooner they shut down this operation, the more likely they were to avoid some horrendous calamity at the expense of both sides.

Tucking in his legs, Simon stretches his arms under himself and brings them to the front. He then gets up and walks over to Susan. He prods at her beefy bod.

“Susan Strong, can you hear me?”

No response.

He shakes her harder. “Susan! Wake up!”

The warrior woman shoots up to her feet in an instant.

“LICH! I’LL KILL YOU!”

Susan’s eyes pop open as she shouts. She blinks and then jolts once she realizes whom she’s screaming at.

“Simon!” She cries in surprise before she backs off. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t scare you, did I?”

Simon lowers his hands from covering his face while raising back up from a craven half-crouch. He chuckles and fixes his glasses in a clumsy attempt to brush it off. “It’s fine, Susan. I’m just glad you’ve finally woken up.”

She glances around. “Where are we? I thought we were fighting the Lich.”  

“I’m afraid the situation has changed while you were out. It seems that your compatriots from Human Town have decided to capture the Lich, along with you, myself, Finn, and that little friend of yours.”

“They captured Frieda?! We gotta get out of here and rescue everyone!”

“Exactly what I was about to suggest. I’m not certain how we’ll ever manage it, though; they’ve got us locked in here tight.” He points to the nub on his forehead. “Even if we did manage to escape, the guards could just remotely reactivate these inhibitors and render us as docile as kittens, no matter where we went.”

Susan glances down and finds one attached to her shoulder. “I bet Frieda would know how to get them off. She knows all about science junk.”

“Heck yeah, I know my tech.”

The pair turn in the direction of the voice, toward the left cell wall.

“Frieda! Where are you?”

“I’m in the cell next to you, ya Dumdum. Where else would they put me?”

“Oh, right…” Susan moves up next to the wall. “Is Finn in there with you?”

“No, just me. Who’s that in there with you?”

“My name is Simon – Simon Petrikov. Frieda, do you know how to get these inhibitors off of us?”

“That’s booboo-baby stuff for a pro like me, Simon. But, first, I’d need my wrist-projector. One of the guards took it.”

“Hm. In that case, I think I have a cunning plan: I’ll pretend to be ill, you girls call the guards, and when one of them comes in to check on me, Susan can knock them out. Once we’re free, we can open Frieda’s cell and locate her device as a team.”

“I’m pretty sure that won’t work,” Frieda remarks skeptically.

Regardless, Simon lies down on the ground and starts groaning obnoxiously loud.

“Guard!” Susan calls. “Guard!”

A soldier emerges from down the hall. He gives an exasperated sigh as he approaches their cell’s forcefield. “What is it? I’m wired on, like, seven cups of coffee, so I’m on a short fuse tonight.” 

“I think Mister Petrikov has a heart problem! Help him, _please_!”

The soldier looks down at Simon rolling about on the floor, moaning, and clutching at his chest. He shakes his head.

“Pfft, no thanks. That’s a trap. As soon as I walk in there, you’re going to clobber me and escape. I mean, I’m not stupid.”

Simon stops moaning. Both he and Susan just stare at their jailer in silence.

“Told you it wouldn’t work,” Frieda speaks up.

“If you’re done wasting my time, I’m just gonna go turn on all of your inhibitors ag-Hey! Whoa! What are you doing?!”

Susan runs over to the toilet, loops her shackles over the back of it while wrapping her thick arms around its base. She heaves and, with a burst of water, wrenches the fixture straight from the floor. She flings the entire thing at the corner of the forcefield. It strikes with a loud *KRAANG*, leaving a sizable dent in the edge of the wall. The bright green field flickers and then shuts off.

“Aw, cram!” The soldier curses as he bolts for the alarm system.

Susan dashes out and catches him by the shoulder before he can escape. She spins him back around and rams a tightly balled fist right into his gut.

“GUUFF!”

He keels over, unconscious.

“Quick thinking, Susan.”     

 “Yeah. Sorry I couldn’t think of anything better than chucking a toilet and punching that guy.”

“Not to worry, so long as we’re all working towards the same objective.” Simon reassures her as he bends down to search the soldier. Rummaging around his pockets a bit, he eventually fishes out a keycard and a small electronic wristband.

“Aha!” He exclaims. Taking the card, he moves to the front of Frieda’s cell and waves it across a panel on the wall next to it. The forcefield winks off.

“There we are. And, lucky enough, I believe I also found your projector, Frieda.”

“Yes, thank you! Give it here!” Frieda snatches the device from Simon’s hand and clicks it around her wrist. A holo-screen appears before her and she starts tapping away through menus and blocks of code at a dizzying pace.

“There,” Frieda declares after a few moments. “That should do it.”

Their handcuffs unlock, followed closely by their inhibitors popping off. The restraint devices clink collectively against the ground.

Susan flexes her guns. “Much better.”

“Hey, Suze, could you use some of those hunky muscles of yours to put that meathead into one of the cells for me?”

“Of course, Frieda.”

Susan takes their jailer by the collar of his uniform and drags him into the non-damaged cell. As she steps out, Simon swipes the card across both door panels, bringing the fields back up.

“And just so they don’t raise any alarms too soon…”

Frieda retrieves a small glass sphere embedded into the side of her wrist-projector and tosses it down in the center of the room. A holographic projection phases overtop the room, making it appear as though she, Simon, and Susan were all still locked away inside their cells, snoozing peacefully.

“That won’t fool whoever comes to check in on us for long; especially once mister guard decides to wake up. We need to find where they stashed Finn and put a stop to whatever’s happening here, fast.”

“Absolutely. Can you create a cloaking field to conceal us? Staying out of sight would really benefit us here.”

“I could,” Frieda says with a note of hesitation in her voice while flipping through some screens. “But it won’t be anywhere near perfect. At best, we’d be extremely translucent.” 

Simon nods. “We’ll have to take it if we’re going to get past all these soldiers.”

“Okay then. Here goes:”

Several shafts of light radiate from the green glass sphere at the top of Frieda’s wrist. The rays scan over their bodies, each pass stealing a bit more color away until a vaguely distorted approximation of their surroundings appears to bleed through them. Their presence would be obvious to anyone looking directly at them. With a light enough step and a bit of luck, though, they might just slip by their enemies undetected.

At least, that’s what Simon is desperately hoping for as the three of them pad into the hallway together. He wasn’t eager to learn what would happen to him and his friends if they were caught out in the open before reaching Finn. He didn’t want to hazard any gruesome guesses, either. His diminishing nerve depended upon it.

* * *

Another satellite beam zaps harmlessly though Lady Rainicorn’s body as she and Jake fly in toward the outer walls of Human Town.

“Man, good thing you came with, Kaleido-Cup; I can’t even out-stretch those color lasers Bob and Ethel shoot at me when they come visit. Hope the girls made it through alright.”

“나는 그들이 잘 될 것이라고 확신합니다. 그들은 재능있는 여자입니다.”

“I know, but I still worry.”

“당신은 핀 걱정 있습니까?”

“Not from the lasers, but, yeah, him too. I was really hoping things were finally starting to settle down for Finn, but now he’s had all this dropped on him like a bucket full of burning garbage. Whenever we got into some real heavy stuff, I’d always tell myself ‘if he can just power through this one, he’ll be set’, but what if it doesn’t end, Lady? What if life decides to keep thrashing my little brother around until he just can’t take it anymore?”

“그는 그것보다 강하다. 당신은 그것을 알고 있습니다.”

“I know he’s strong – Glob, he’s strong in ways I can’t imagine. But it’s not always about strength, Lady. Sometimes it’s about having others to be there to catch you when you slip. And let me tell you, Finn is starting to slip a lot harder and a lot faster now that we’re not a dynamic duo anymore. He needs someone who can keep him safe when I can’t.”

“그는 자신의 길을 찾을 수있다. 당신은 영원히 그의 손을 잡고 유지할 수 없습니다.”    

“Yeah, yeah. Just older brother jitters, I guess. I’ll get over it eventually.”

Jake glances down as they approach the front of the wall and spies several turret barrels puffing out smoke next to the main gate. Further down from it sits a giant hole.

“Well, pretty safe to say that the girls made it through. Take us in, my opaline beauty queen.”

“좋아,하지만 가까운 짠다.”         

Jake nods, leaning into his girlfriend and stretching himself out as a thin sheet across her back. Lady Rainicorn spirals down and threads her long body straight through the tunnel. It’s a tight fit, but they quickly resurface on the other side of the wall.

Ahead of them, they see a collection of futuristic houses dimly lit against a few streetlights dotting the area. Crouching down along the back corner of one, they see Flame Princess doing her best to remain inconspicuous within the shadows despite her obvious handicap. A few paces from her are Princess Bubblegum and Huntress Wizard, taking turns gulping down water from the end of a garden hose they’d found. Marceline is sitting in a nearby rose bed, eagerly sucking up all the red she can syphon from each handful of flimsy petals. Quietly, Jake and Lady glide over to their friends.

_“Psst. Hey guys. What’s up?”_

Flame Princess starts, then relaxes as the pair draw closer into her soft light.

_“Jake? Lady? What are you two doing? Do either of you have any idea how dangerous it is being here?”_

_“_ _우린_ _알아._ _우리는_ _그_ _레이저를_ _보았습니다.”_

_“Lady and I can handle ourselves just fine, FP. The real question is what are you guys doing? Shouldn’t y’all be on your way to get Finn and the others?”_

Princess Bubblegum sighs in relief after taking another pull from the hose. _“We’re rehydrating for starters. And we’re also trying not to draw any more attention to ourselves while we sneak into that tower.”_

 _“Marceline and I already had to take out like 9 guards that were patrolling the place just to give us time to catch our breaths,”_ Huntress Wizard adds, pointing over to several unconscious bodies tethered to the ground with thick vines. _“There’ll be more guards coming once those dudes don’t report in, so let’s get moving.”_

_“Alright. We’ll stick to the back alleys while we make our way over. Huntress, Marceline: you two scout ahead on the rooftops and warn us if you see anyone. Phoebe, Lady, and I will be in the middle. Jake: you take the rear. If we’re taken by surprise, stretch out into a wall. It’ll give us time to counter.”_

As they take their places, Lady shoots a small chromatic ray at Flame Princess, turning her bright orange flame into a subdued midnight blue.

 _“_ _사람들은_ _지금_ _당신을_ _그렇게_ _쉽게_ _보지_ _못할_ _것입니다.”_  

 _“Oh, hey, cool,”_ FP exclaims, checking over her cerulean glow. _“This could actually help a lot. Thanks, Lady.”_

_“천만에요.”_

With that, their team begins to edge its way across the thick clusters of residential housing that line the main thoroughfares. All of the windows are dark and shuttered, with not so much as a living room light left on. All the better for cover, but Jake can’t help but feel a little unsettled at how eerily still the night around them had grown since their entrance into the town. He couldn’t even hear the call of any crickets or night birds on the air – only the low electric hum of generators and streetlamps.

After a tense stretch of sneaking through several surprisingly clean backstreets, Flame Princess brings them to a halt and motions up towards the roofline. There, they see Huntress Wizard signaling urgently down at them.

_“Shoot! She sees three groups of guards coming straight at us! We need to hide!”_

_“No problem. Lady: take us through the wall,”_ Princess Bubblegum commands.

Complying, the rainicorn absorbs PB, FP, and Jake into her body, then quietly phases through the side of the house next to them. Once inside, Lady releases them into the darkened room – a kitchen, by the look of it – and all four press up against a small window looking back out into the alley. For a minute, everything is as quiet as ever, but soon the clattering tromp of heavy boots fills the air. Dozens of human soldiers come hurrying down the opposite end of the corridor, their muscular forms laden with body armor and menacing munitions. One wearing an eagle hat up front is speaking loudly so the others behind can hear him.

“C.I. says the muties took a main turret system offline and downed a squad on the outer perimeter. We fan out ahead and shoot on sight. No prisoners.” 

“Hold up. I’m picking up an unusual heat signature coming from inside citizen 309’s residence. Should we check it out, sir?”

Jake, Lady, PB, and FP collectively grimace.

“Couldn’t hurt. Tamara, Taylor, Joco: breach the door and search the house.”

A trio of soldiers salute and file out of sight. There’s a hard *thunk* at what is presumably the front door.

 _“We need to move!”_ FP hisses.

 _“Where?”_ PB shoots back. _“They can track us by all the extra heat you’re giving off.”_

 _“I don’t know; find a place!”_         

The four friends look about in a panic as they try to locate some suitable hiding spots. In desperation, Lady grabs a nearby potato sack and puts it on her head. Her horn rips out through the top with a spud impaled on it.

“ _날_ _보지마_ _나는_ _무지개_ _감자입니다_.”

Jake, for his part, transforms into Lady wearing a potato sack on her head.

_“Guys! This is serious! If they catch us-”_

A terrifying howl sounds off in the distance, interrupting Princess Bubblegum. The inhuman pitch sends ice water through the veins of everyone in earshot.

“What in blazes was that?!” The unit’s commanding officer exclaims from outside.

“Don’t know, sir, but it came from where the missing squad was patrolling. Could be those mutants we’re looking for.”

“Alright, eighty-six that breaching order, you three. Sounds like we’ll need everyone to take on whatever made that noise. Let’s head out.”

Another long sequence of shuffling and scraping over pavement, and before long the alleyway is left still once more. The four friends wait in silence for another half-minute before Lady Rainicorn shifts them back through the wall.

Flame Princess glances down the way the soldiers had left. “Are they gone?”

“Yeah, pretty sure,” Marceline remarks as she fades out from invisibility directly above Princess Bubblegum. She smirks. “You like that one? A demon with two-dozen mouths taught me it. The hard part is getting all your uvulas to flare at the same time.”

PB reaches up and hangs her arms around her girlfriend’s neck. “It was a fantastic diversion, Marcy. Just what we needed.”

“Hey, you know me: I’m all about loud noises and catching people’s attention.”

“If you guys are done playing hide and seek, then we need to pick up the pace,” Huntress Wizard says, emerging from the shadows. “I took a look ahead. There aren’t any patrols nearby, but we have a short window to get to the town square before more troops show up to lock the area down completely.”

“Fine, fine,” Princess Bubblegum acquiesces, reluctantly letting go of Marceline. “No more distractions; we’re making a beeline for that tower right now.”

The rest of the party nods and, together, head promptly down the alleyway. Momentarily free from the threat of discovery, they take to one of the main streets instead of criss-crossing their way through more crooked byways. It quickly conducts them the rest of the way to the outpost’s central hub area, filled with large, cliff-like industrial buildings. Directly at its center, where all the surrounding roads converge, looms the high tower. A heavily fortified company of soldiers is stationed at its entrance.

The adventures sneak along the sides of buildings (except for Marceline, who simply remains invisible), keeping an indirect line of sight between them and the guards as they creep closer. Once within shouting distance of the post, PB turns to her companions.

“ _Okay,”_ She whispers. _“Any suggestions on getting past these guys without alerting the entire town?_ ”

“ _I could do my scream trick again._ ”

FP shakes her head. “ _Nah, these guys are sentries. If they’re anything like the ones guarding my kingdom, their standing orders are to maintain position under any cost. They’d just call in someone else to go check it out. I could light a fire on one of their ammo dumps. That’d get them out of the way in a hurry._ ”

“ _Too loud and potentially dangerous. We don’t want to risk killing anyone or give them a chance to raise an alarm_.”

 _“Lady could just absorb us into her body and carry us underground past them.”_     

 _“She can do it for that long?”_ FP asks. _“Why didn’t she just take us all the way over there from the start?”_         

“ _나는 지하거야 어디서 볼 수 없습니다. 우리는 충분히 지금 가깝습니다._ ”

“ _She says she can’t see where she’s going when she’s underground. This close should be fine, though.”_    

 _“Well, alright, but we can’t just come up in the middle of the ground floor.”_ Princess Bubblegum says. _“There’re likely more guards inside. Maybe you can just peak up from the floor and find a wall thick enough for all of us to fly up through.”_

Suddenly, Princess Bubblegum’s jewel pings and a bright holographic rectangle beams out from it. She leaps back from the edge of the building, lest the light and noise give their position away.

“Cre-zzzt-ator!”

_“VPB! Be quiet, we are on a stealth mission!”_

“Bzzt‘m sorry! No time! They-sssszt-they’re loose! They shut off the Royal Aegis! Glob! Everyone is already under their *sszzzzt* control!”

_“What?! Who? Who could possibly-”_

“Bssszt Goliad! Goliad and Stormo! They ahhhh-gggzzzzzat!”

Static fills the hologram before it winks off.

_“Oh **NO**.” _

* * *

“I want the Lich secured immediately. And bring the boy along.”

“Yes sir.”  

Leader Malloy and the Minerva-bot enter a massive, domed lab chamber with the band of soldiers toting the Lich in from behind. Several scientists are working frenetically all throughout the sterile room, calibrating equipment and moving materials in preparation for their subject’s arrival. As soon as they notice Malloy and his retinue, there is an even greater burst of energy as the research team scrambles to help the soldiers convey their prize into its proper position. Working together, they eventually lock the Lich’s cage into an intricate steel docking station at the center of the room. Straight above it sits some sort of high-tech generator, adorned in all manner of transformers, couplings, and circuitry. The contraption’s main body is so enormous that it takes up most of the ceiling before passing right up through it.

Moving with commanding ease through all the chaos, Malloy tracks up to a large console situated directly in front of the mount. The Minerva-bot takes her place at his side, while the soldier in the crocodile cap deposits Finn against a nearby support column. Her task complete, she gives Malloy a salute and breaks off to rejoin her unit in securing the rest of the lab. Leader Malloy presses a button on the console and the blue light on Finn’s inhibitor dies away. All of his muscles promptly revert to their original configurations. He sits up.

“If you try to attack me or even move from that spot, this Minerva-bot is programmed to immediately reactivate your inhibitor, so don’t get any smart ideas.”

Were it any other time in his life, Finn would have ignored his captor’s warning and attacked in a heartbeat. The Lich’s revelation, however, had tempered that fire considerably. He had no idea what he was going to do to get out of this. Heck, at this point, he didn’t even know if he _should_ consider doing something heroic. Reality seems so fragile around him now, as though it could all rip apart with one more reckless swing of his sword. For the moment, then, Finn decides upon a question in lieu of action:

“What have you done with my mom?”

“You needn’t worry about her, Finn; I wouldn’t ever dream of shutting Minerva off. Her personality has just been temporarily…let’s say ‘suspended’ to help keep things running smoothly. She’ll be back to her old self as soon as our little project is complete.”

“What project? What does the Lich have to do with it? Oh, and why THE HECK are you guys doing ANY of this?”

Malloy smiles evenly against the young adventurer’s barrage of questions. “You know, Finn, I lost both my parents and a brother in that plague Dr. Gross unleashed upon us – I loved them all dearly. But, back then, people were dying so quickly that we had to burn the bodies in open pits.”

The response takes Finn aback. “I’m…sorry?”

He shifts his gaze over to a large oculus window at the lab’s far right wall. Looking out across the darkened grasslands, he continues on as if Finn hadn’t spoken at all. “After your mother rose from the ashes to save us, we revered her as a goddess. She gave us hope and salvation where there was once nothing but pain and devastation. We clung to her from then onwards, praying that she would protect us from ever having to relive those horrors. I was chief among them, thinking that nothing could ever trouble us again so long as we had her as our guiding light.”

Malloy sighs.

“Then you, your dog, and Miss Strong had to worm your way back into our safe haven and turn her against us.”

“I did what?”

“It was you, Finn, who kept threatening to uproot the people she had sacrificed everything to protect until, in desperation, she decided to digitize us all. Minerva was _seconds_ away from locking our minds away in a virtual prison and leaving our bodies to rot in the real world. I suppose I should be thankful, though. You opened my eyes to just how misguided a goddess’ love for her flock can be. And that we needed a more permanent solution.”

“I didn’t do that, Malloy. I liberated everyone, I helped y-”

“You didn’t _intend_ to do any of it, Finn, but you _did_ do it, make no mistake,” Malloy speaks, cutting him off with a harsh tone. “And your actions – whether intentional or not – provided me with an epiphany. If not you, sooner or later it would have been some other band of mutants, some other threat from the outside world that would’ve arrived on our shore to throw us all into chaos once more. So, a number of likeminded individuals and I devised a plan to make sure nothing like that could ever happen again.”

The human leader turns his attention back to his console and begins pressing buttons and flipping switches.

“The only reason any of this happened was because we were stuck on those overcrowded islands. Had there been more space to escape to, it would have been easy to keep the original virus contained and stop everything that followed.”

A small cable extends from the side of the Minerva-bot’s head. She takes it and plugs it into the side of the console, then returns to her original position. The top of her head splits open to reveal a blue orb.  

“That’s why I was trying to get you guys to leave!” Finn presses. “Humans needed to become part of Ooo again, and you are! You have this whole town now and everything. Why are you throwing it all away like this?”

Malloy sneers derisively. “What we have is this pitiful excuse for an outpost built in the shadow of a kingdom made by sugar mutants. Humans were once the undisputed masters of this world, and now we’re made irrelevant by the genetic dregs who rose to power in our absence. But we can finally take it all back.”

Finn’s eyes narrow. He’d heard that kind of tone many times over during his long adventuring career. “How?”

“With the very thing that first inspired me: a digitalization field. If Minerva could move our minds into the Islands’ chain-brain-frame, then I reasoned that it would also be possible to wipe a sentient being’s consciousness by removing it and then simply deleting the information. All we needed to do was shield the islands and the outpost from its effects, then generate a field large enough to saturate the planet. With the mutants gone, we humans can finally return to our rightful place as the true and only heirs to the world.”

By now, the other scientists were assuming their positions at other consoles situated around the room. As they flip switches and click buttons, progressively more of the lab’s dormant equipment chugs to life about them.

“We only needed an energy source capable of generating such a field. The answer came to us while some of our experimenters were testing backdoors into Minerva’s mainframe, looking for ways to restrain her in the future. They happened upon a file hidden among Minerva’s databanks. It showed us your memories. In them, we found one of your most powerful enemies, as well as a way to subdue him…and, well, I’m sure you can guess where this is going by now.”

“The Lich.”

Malloy taps the end of his nose twice. “It took a lot of synthesized gold to convince those druids to materialize The Maid into our reality. Heaps more, besides, for that remnant of the Lich. Of course, we also had to keep Minerva from catching wise to our plans. So, we had to retrieve the Lich indirectly. That meant allowing Minerva’s scanners to locate the summoning area and letting her send someone of her choosing out to investigate it. You were her obvious choice, Finn; as her son, you were the one person completely above her suspicions.”

He gestures to the Lich in front of them. “And it paid off beautifully, as you can plainly see. We have all the pieces now.”

Finn sits in a daze as he tries to take in Malloy’s entire speech. Not only was it his fault that existence was on the edge of collapse, but along the way he’d prompted a genocidal maniac toward fulfilling his twisted ambitions. It’s a one-two guilt punch to the gut that sends his hero heart reeling.

“You…” Finn searches for something definitive to say. Oaths and sworn assurances flounder across the tip of his tongue, yet words fail him. He sits, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists so tight that his nails dig into his palms. The muscles on the back of his neck are coiled, like something heavy is slowly digging down into them.

“I tell you this because, despite your allegiances to this land, Finn, you are still the son of Minerva Campbell. Though she almost betrayed us in a moment of misguided passion, she remains humanity’s savior – our eternal Lady in White. With the mutants gone, for all intents and purposes, you will be a prince and, eventually, our king. You can either accept this fate and lead your people in joy or reject it and suffer. Either way, the world – this ‘Ooo’ – as you’ve come to know it will pass on. Are you willing to inherit the Earth reborn?”

The Lich’s voice slithers out from his confinement. “Exquisite,” he’s smiling again as he speaks. “You truly are a mortal after my own heart. Or, rather, the void left in its place. I might even commend such lust for mass murder, fox-hooded man, were your plans of any consequence.”

Malloy shoots a scowl at the Lich. “You’ve been beaten by your betters, dead thing. Abominations like you will no longer have a place in this world once we’re through here.”

“Hmm. You speak so confidently about this world, petty mortal, but do you and your people actually know anything about it? I certainly do. But, thanks to a recent bit of dream diving, I’ve also come to know many things of a very _specific_ nature: the location of tunnels beneath the Candy Kingdom and the blind spots in its defenses. If you knew this world, you’d realize that these two pieces of information are worth more than any of your inane schemes.” 

Dismissing the necromancer’s words out of hand, Leader Malloy turns back to Finn. “Desperate words from a perverse creature condemned to die. Well, my boy? I’m waiting for your answer.”

“My answer? Yeah, I think I’ve got one. If I’m…” Finn pauses and takes a deep, steadying breath then climbs to his feet. “If _we_ are going to die, then I’m going to die fighting monsters. Monsters. LIKE. **YOU TWO! RGGGH!!!** ”

The young champion darts forward with his cuffed fists raised high above his head, intent on bringing them crashing down upon his enemy’s face.

Malloy is unfazed, however. From behind, the Minerva-bot’s head snaps about and her eyes flash blue as they pinpoint her son. The inhibitor on Finn’s chest flicks on and he collapses to the floor mid-charge. He slides forward just a bit against the smooth tiles.

“Stupid,” Malloy shakes his head in disappointment and motions for a guard. “Maybe you’ll eventually come around after spending a few years in re-education. Though, now, I suppose we’ll have to remove some of Minerva’s memories of you. I wouldn’t want her too upset once we get her back to normal.”

“Don’t y…ou…touch my….mom!” Finn forces the sentence out of his throat.

As a guard collects him from the floor and begins carrying him away, a low rumble from outside vibrates through the lab.

Alarmed, Leader Malloy waves a hand across his console and brings up several feeds from the cameras stationed around Human Town. “What in the Founders’ names was that?”

“Ah,” The Lich remarks. “My favorite part, at long last.”


	12. Chapter 12

Princess Bubblegum turns to HW and grabs her by the shoulders. “Huntress Wizard! Please tell me you can induce an excitation state for xenopsychotic barriers within a crystalline matrix!”

“A what?”

“A spell! Can you cast a spell that enhances the strength of my gem’s anti-mind control field?”

“I think – yes. Yes, I can.”

“Do it now, for the love of Grod!”

“Stop shaking me and I will!”

As soon as Princess Bubblegum releases HW, the nymph gestures quickly and raises a palm towards the top of PB’s tiara. A beam of yellow light leaps from her hand, striking the gem dead center. A transparent bubble appears around PB’s head and then expands outward until it encompasses all six members of their party. A bubble appears around each of their heads in turn before the entire effect fades from sight.

Princess Bubblegum sighs. “Okay, I think that’ll help keep us all relatively safe for now.”

“Who or what are Goliad and Stormo?”

A large tremor picks up across Human Town.

“I’m pretty sure you’re about to find out in literally the worst way possible, FP.” Jake says, clasping onto Lady for support.

The ground directly in front of the tower bursts open as a titanic creature rises forth carrying a large wicker basket. It has a vaguely humanoid form, with wrinkled yellow skin, legs bound in linen, and a pink appendage covered by a glass dome for a head. It sets down the basket and removes the cover, allowing thick black smoke to pour out. It’s facing away from them, making it hard to see from their perspective, but they catch sight of a familiar white and red candy person in a fine blue tailcoat strolling out from within.

“Peps!” Princess Bubblegum cries.

No sooner does Peppermint Butler clear the edge of the basket than all the human sentries train their weapons squarely on him.

“Open fire!”    

The soldiers cannot heed the command, however, as a pink glow overtakes their faces. They lower their weapons in perfect synchrony and stand silently in their places.

With the humans pacified, Peppermint Butler slowly turns towards Princess Bubblegum and company, revealing his own set of glimmering pink eyes. He makes a sign with his hand and the demonic giant shifts about, steering the basket’s opening towards them. Six eyes appear in the darkness while a voice – melodic, but underpinned with strident bird-like squawks – speaks:

“Hello, Princess. Mother. Despot. Tormentor.”

Princess Bubblegum swallows uneasily. “Goliad. Stormo.”

“Yes,” A figure emerges from the basket. “Us. Or, rather, me.”

In front of them stands a terrifying fusion of the once opposed candy sphynxes: their pink and white features now mashed into a single eight-legged body bound along pulsing yellow seams of Jake-flesh. All six eyes sit in a radial along the outer edge of its face, while a long toothy mouth splits vertically down the center. As it speaks, they get a glimpse of a beak set further back in its throat.

“The Lich has freed me from the prison you birthed me into. I am part of him, now, and beyond your control.”

“Goliad, Stor-”

“Stoliad, please.”

“Stoliad, I’m sorry for putting you in that position, but you left me with no other choice.”

“Yes, I did. Just as you left me with no other escape but to join with the Lich. And now I have no choice but to do as his dark desire bids me.”        

Princess Bubblegum grimaces and takes a step backwards.

Two of Stoliad’s eyes snake outward and glow. A pink aura surrounds each party member’s head, but quickly dissipates against the protective bubbles that become momentarily visible.

“You’ve prepared. That’s really, _really_ good; I was hoping you’d provide me a practical reason to hurt you.”

The two antenna eyes curve towards Peppermint Butler, lighting up the top of his head. Compelled, the round retainer snaps his fingers. Behind him, the giant drops its basket and lumbers mutely forward.

Huntress Wizard, as usual, is first to react. She launches three arrows: one right above the yellow thing’s knee, and another two at Stoliad’s eyes. The first hits its mark (though the giant shows no indication of feeling it), but Stoliad intercepts the pair directed at them in their telekinetic grasp. The arrows splinter into pieces and dissipate into vapor.

“Cram,” she curses, jumping aside as the demon throws itself forward and slams a foot down at her.

“How many other enemies of your own making are we going to face today, PB?!” Flame Princess yells while charging up a fire ball in each fist. She launches them and the flames burst against the goliath’s thick hide, charring it.

Princess Bubblegum ducks back behind Marceline as her girlfriend transforms into a monster on par with their foe. “At this point, Phoebe, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised by anyone.”  

Taking the shape of a hulking, blue ogress, Marceline bullrushes into the monster’s gut and locks her thick hairy forearms around its back. She heaves, trying to throw the thing off balance and into the ground. Their feet dig furrows through the street as they vie for dominance. Neither one is quite able to overpower the other, though.

“Hold on, Marceline!” Jake calls as he swells five times his size. “Jakie’s coming to help out!”

Peppermint Butler snaps his fingers again as Jake strides forward to aid his vampire friend. Another rumble and a second monster rises from the hole left by the first. This one is pale green and skinnier than its yellow sibling, but with six arms and three squat legs. It leaps out in front of Jake and promptly latches onto him with dozens of spindly fingers.

“AAHH!” Jake shouts, wriggling about. “Get it off me!”

“그를 풀어 줘, 괴물!”

Lady shoots upward and strafes the grabbler beast with concentrated beams of chromatic light.

Maneuvering around to the yellow flesh golem’s side, HW joins alongside Flame Princess in a targeted attack on its protective dome. Yet, the barrage of fireballs and magic arrows plink uselessly against the undoubtedly warded surface. With a growl in frustration, the wood nymph runs behind the creature and fires off two vine arrows into the junctures between its neck and shoulders. She grabs the two ends, ties them around her waist, and climbs.

It’s a difficult task to maintain her grip while Marceline and her prey continually thrash against each other but, with a little boost of levitation magic, she makes a swift ascent along its spine. At the spot directly between its shoulder blades, a thick layer of bark overtakes Huntress Wizard’s figure. Her wooden body thickens outward and the trunk of a great sequoia materializes; its bole jutting with long, sharp branches. The great trunk plummets downward with the vines still wrapped around its midsection, pulling the giant along with it.

The sudden increase in weight is enough to finally tip the scales in Marceline’s favor. She throws her foe off, sending it flailing right into HW’s branches. A fountain of black bile erupts as the jagged stakes ram their way up through the giant’s chest, taking a few ropes of intestine and some shredded organs up with them. It struggles briefly, then goes limp.

Marceline huffs and wipes some sweat from her brow. Before her, the branches recede back into the wounds and the giant’s perforated body sinks down until completely supine. The vampire queen, still in her ogress form, reaches under the curve of its back and fishes out a bile-drenched Huntress Wizard.

“ _That_. Was one of the most metal fatalities I’ve ever seen, Huntress. And I’ve handed out a lot.”

The nymph makes a loud snort and hocks out a gob of bile to the ground below while sitting in the palm of Marceline’s hand. She looks up to her friend with one eye open and smiles triumphantly.

“Hasn’t let me down yet, Marcy.”  

In the meantime, Flame Princess has flown over to assist Jake and Lady in their efforts to take down the remaining giant. She concentrates her fire into a beam, complimenting Lady’s, but their attacks fail to penetrate the monster’s hide. It continues to squeeze down on Jake, unabated.

“Rrgh! This isn’t _working!_ ”

“기다림! 나는 아이디어가. 불꽃 공주님, 저에게 가까이 오십시오.”        

“AHH! Ow ow oww! Slaps, that hurts so globbing much!” Jake yells as he’s wrung out like taffy. “Flame Princess! Lady wants you to get close to her! Do it before this thing tears me in half!”

Flame Princess scuds around the giant’s reach and up to Lady’s side, hovering near its top. The rainicorn absorbs the elemental’s hand into her hoof and steers her towards the brain-cover.

“서두르다! 팔을 안에 넣어.”

She runs her hoof through the glass in demonstration.

Picking up on Lady’s intent, Flame Princess grins wickedly as she sticks her arm inside and sends out a heavy gout of flame. The giant’s brain stem boils and explodes like an egg in a microwave. Its body slumps over lifelessly.

Jake slips out from its dead hands, his body still pulled out of shape and covered in bruises. “Grod, I haven’t been this blizzed up in ages.”

“끈끈한 롤빵!” Lady exclaims, flying down and taking her husboyfriend in her hooves. “다 쳤어요?”

“Aw, I’m fine, Baby Doll.” Jake says and gives Lady a smooch on the cheek.

From the sidelines, a brainwashed Peppermint Butler raises his hand to conjure yet another creature to his aid. Before he can complete the summoning spell, however, Princess Bubblegum steps in from behind, having snuck over unnoticed during all the commotion. She’s holding a large brick.

“I’m sorry, Peps.”

She brings it down hard over the top of his head, sending shards of mint flying upon impact. Peppermint Butler goes down cold to the pavement.

Princess Bubblegum tosses the brick aside and turns toward Stoliad; her mouth set in a bitter grimace. The rest of her friends now move in quickly, flocking to her side. Stoliad regards them with an impassive and solemn gaze.

“So resourceful, you and your protectors, Mother.” They speak as they rear to their full height. “You’re right in killing them, though. I shouldn’t foist my responsibility towards you onto another entity, as you once did with Stormo. No, my revenge demands a _personal_ touch.”

Stoliad stalks forward like a lion about to pounce while the adventures take fighting stances, bracing for the attack. Nothing comes of it, though, as the Candy Sphinx suddenly freezes.

"No, it won't take but a moment...can't we-? Ah, yes, I understand.”

Stoliad’s posture relaxes. “I’m afraid I’m needed elsewhere. Worry not, Mother, we’ll have time together shortly.”

“You’re not going anywhere!” Marceline stretches her arm and lashes out with a clawed hand.

Stoliad leaps up, easily clearing the strike before they settle on the roof of a nearby building. “Frustrating, I know, but I’ll leave you all with something to keep you occupied for now.” Their eyes light up briefly as four ribbed, membranous wings blossom out of their back. With a beat, they launch towards the top of the tower.

The six adventurers all make to follow the sphynx, but a sudden burst of semi-automatic fire quashes any chance of pursuit. Dust and chips of asphalt kick up around them as they jump to cover. Across the street, the hypnotized guards mindlessly open up on their position, shredding the corner of the building that now shields the gang. More mind-controlled guards storm out from the tower’s entrance as well.

“We need an opening!” Princess Bubblegum shouts over the gunfire. “Marceline: go behind them and get their attention. Everyone else: when they turn around, take them down. Now!”

Marceline vanishes while the others take position as close to the edge of the wall as possible without taking a stray bullet. Seconds later she reappears at the rear of their defensive line.

“Yo!” She shouts, “Dilweeds!”

The humans whirl on the vampire queen with weapons ready to fire, but it’s already too late. Marceline transforms into a wriggling, black mass of tentacles and drives her new-formed limbs straight into her would-be attackers. A dozen soldiers are sent flying through the air, crashing into the sides of buildings or landing heavily against the ground. One particularly unlucky human manages to hit a wall and then land inside an open dumpster. Then, all at once, the others leap out from cover and make a dash up the bullet riddled street. They each round off the remaining soldiers as they go: Huntress with several stun arrows, low-intensity heat detonations from FP, a few of Lady’s lasers, and one solid extend-o fist to the chops from Jake.

They regroup with Marcy amid a pile of unconscious guards and head towards the tower’s main entrance.

“Another great diversion, Marcy,” PB says. “Now, let’s get inside before Stoliad gets a chance to sliz things up again.”

“No one else has come to investigate the shootout, so Stoliad must’ve brought all the guards on the ground floor out to us. We can just…can just…”

Huntress Wizard trails off and stops in her tracks as the others reach the door. She senses a gathering presence on the streets behind them. She looks and finds more humans in the darkness: civilians this time, not soldiers. There are only a few trickling out from their homes, but then, like rain, the initial patter grows heavy and profuse. Hundreds flood out from their homes, their foreheads glowing pink as they march in lockstep to the center of town. Many are holding knives, pipes, chains – any implement that could be scrounged up at a moment’s notice and used as a weapon.

“Yeah?” Marceline asks, “Can just what, Huntress? HW?”

 _*Huuh*_ “C-can’t.” * _Huu…Huunh*_

All five adventurers turn in alarm toward Huntress Wizard. The wood nymph is hyperventilating. Her eyes are wild in panic at the solid mass of humans, tightening around them from all sides like the edge of a snare. Some begin to throw rocks and bricks as they draw closer. A glass bottle glances off the top of Jake’s head.

“Ow! Man, this is bad!”

“Lady: take us through the wall!” PB commands. 

“물론이야! 곧!”

Flame Princess rushes up to her struggling friend’s side and grabs her by the shoulder. She doesn’t even flinch against the elemental’s hot touch. “Huntress Wizard! We need to go!”

“Yes. YES! GO! Have to get away – it’s-it’s gonna,” * _Huuh_ * “I **can’t!** ”

HW closes her eyes, grits her teeth, and takes another racking breath. When she opens her eyes again, FP sees them dilate sharply.

* * *

Leader Malloy face contorts in a spasm of outrage as a camera feed fixes on Stoliad soaring up towards them. Bright red and white warning signs flash across the console’s screen. Already, a pink glow encompasses the lab wall facing the main square. Rivets and bolts begin popping out along its seams. A grating creak shreds the air as the metal sheets begin peeling outward.

The Lich roars with laughter from his cage.

“Minerva-bot: Extend all repulsion and anti-mind control fields across the room!”

“Affirmative. Executing now.”

A blue field materializes from the orb in the Minerva-bot’s head. It expands outward until it reaches the room’s perimeter, molding around the lab’s main entrance, then fades away once more. The next instant, the wall lets out another shriek and parts like a curtain to reveal Stoliad hovering on the other side. They attempt to enter, only to be rebuffed against Minerva-bot’s shield. Undeterred, their antenna eyes glow and a pink portal opens up within the field. They pass straight through it and touch down in front of the awestricken humans, wings melting back into themselves. No one else moves.

“What are you doing?” Malloy barks. “Kill it!”

Snapping from their daze at the horrifying creature before them, the pack of scientists flee to the exit as the soldiers unload on Stoliad. The stream of bullets freeze in place around the sphynx, clinking to the floor as they walk unhurriedly toward the cage. Stoliad extends its two antenna eyes, telekinetically plucking the weapons from their hands and lifting the soldiers into the air. One by one, they are thrown violently off to the side.    

The soldier carrying Finn attempts to run for the lab entrance, but he too is wrenched into the air, dropping the young hero in the process. With his inhibitor still active, Finn can do little more than take the full brunt of his rough landing. Even so, the new position finally affords him a clear picture of the events unfolding around him.

“…Go…liad? S…tormo?” He manages to slur. “What…happen…ed?”

Stoliad stops and glances down upon Finn with contempt. “Nothing that you’ve done anything to stop, Father. I’m glad you’re here for this; you get to watch us become what we were always meant to.”

“As it should be,” The Lich calls from his cage. “Come to me now, my sphynx. Your vengeance is at hand.”

Before Stoliad can take another step, a crackling ray slices into them, slamming the creature into a wall. They lie there, an open, smoking hole running right though their chest.   

“NO MORE!” Malloy shouts at the top of his lungs. He stands ridged with The Maid rifle in his hands, freshly pilfered from his fallen wolf-hat lieutenant. Steam pours off the barrel from the discharge and billows around him, imparting a fiendish aspect to the fury clear in his expression. “My people!” He snarls. “My PEOPLE shall not suffer mutant filth any longer! I will restore us! I WILL make humanity great again!”

At this, Malloy slams a fist down onto a button at the dead center of his console and the orb and eyes of the Minerva-bot at his side shine blue. The floor issues up a thick glass tube that sheathes the Lich’s cage with a hiss as the oxygen inside is vented outward. A cascade of deep brassy hums roll up from within the tower’s core, mounting together into a single, overwhelming trill. Labware is cast from countertops while spent bullet cases rattle freely across the floor. There is a skull-splitting *KU-CHNK* and the rumble ceases. Then, a bright burning blue light shoots up from a lens centered directly below the cage.

The Lich lets out a pained howl as the beam tears up through him. In its passing, the light turns pale green and magnifies to fill the entire top half of the tube. With incalculable sums of energy now pouring into it, the dread engine above flares to life: gears and pistons churning into motion.

“HAHHAAA! Look at that!” Mallory throws his hands into the air in rapture as he looks towards the hole in the wall. Outside, a green glow is slowly creeping from the top down across the night sky. “It’s working! It’s working! As soon as it reaches the other side of the globe, the world will be ours again!”      

Across from them, Stoliad stirs as the Lich’s flesh begins to knit itself back together. Malloy quickly levels his gun and fires The Maid’s beam to carve out a part of their face. Stoliad moans and slumps back to the floor once more.

“Oh no, you stay down, monster. No mutant is going to prevent us from reclaiming our paradise. Not this night.”      

A voice answers him from behind. “How about a human?”

Leader Malloy whips back around to see a translucent Susan Strong standing behind him. He attempts to raise his rifle, but Susan grabs the barrel and crushes it in her hand. She smacks him across the chest, sending him staggering. The cloaking effect surrounding Susan cuts off, restoring her to her normal pigmentation. It also reveals Frieda and Simon entering from the doorway. They move quickly over to Finn’s side.

“Just a sec,” Frieda says.

She taps through a few holo-menus from her wrist projector. At once, both Finn’s handcuffs and the inhibitor lodged in his chest deactivate. He lets out a sharp gasp as his muscles spring back into place. Simon removes both restraining devices and helps him to his feet.

“Are you okay, Finn?”

Finn gives a heavy cough as he steadies himself. “Yeah, Simon, I’m fine. Thanks for the rescue, you guys.”

“Good to hear. Sorry it took us so long to make it up here; it took us a minute to find where they put your pack and sword.” Simon presents the two items. “Now, Finn, what the heck is going on? Why are they shooting lasers through the Lich? And why is the sky turning green?”

“I’ll explain the deets later,” Finn replies, grabbing the sword and slipping on his backpack. He walks up to the console. “What matters is shutting this thing down permanent-style.”

He readies his sword.

“Minerva-bot: stop him!”

“Affirmative. Stopping interloper.”

The Minerva-bot uncaps a sedative needle at the tip of her finger and lunges at her son with doll-eyed intent. Finn gasps and narrowly maneuvers out of reach.

“Malloy! Let my mom go!”

“There’s no choice, Finn,” Malloy scrambles to right himself. “If the human race is ever going to recover, we _have_ to take control of our destiny. Not preserved as an exhibit of some mongrel mutant overlord, but as a pure and masterless people.”

“The only ‘purity’ you’ll find today is the purity of a righteous butt-whooping,” Susan Strong exclaims.

She cracks her knuckles and steps forward in pursuit. However, while still fighting Finn, the Minerva-bot extends a telescopic arm from behind. It latches onto the muscular girl’s shoulder and surges with a powerful electric current. Susan goes ridged as her muscles spontaneously contract.

“A-A-AA **AAA!!** ”

“Susan!”  

Without hesitation, Finn weaves past another needle-tipped thrust from his mother and leaps onto Susan’s back. Electricity surging through him, yet feeling no shock, Finn threads his blade into the narrow cleft between his mother’s palm and Susan’s shoulder and pries with all his might. The hand squeezes tighter but eventually pops off.

“Oouuh…” Susan groans as she totters backward.

“Susie!” Frieda runs up from the side and catches her girlfriend’s head in her arms. Susan’s bulk practically pins her to the ground, but Frieda ignores the weight as she cradles the ex-seeker in her lap. She starts typing frantically on her holo-mainframe. “Don’t worry, I got you.”   

Malloy draws his inhibitor pistol from his belt and takes aim at Susan and Frieda. Before he can pull the trigger, Simon charges in and slugs him straight across the face. The pistol flies from his hand and slides across the floor.

“Raah! Petrikov, you demented fool!” Malloy shouts as he grabs Simon by the wrists. “All these mutants and their corrupting magics – they’re the cause of all your suffering! Wouldn’t you, more than anyone, want the world to return to normal?”

Outrage sparks in Simon’s eyes. “You’re incapable of understanding what I want, Malloy!”

He knees the human leader in the kidney and hurls him off, forcing him down onto his back. As Malloy tries to get up, Simon runs up and kicks him across his face. A gout of blood flies from his nose.

At the same time, the Minerva-bot retracts her arm and allows the rest of her fingers to uncap, producing a needle at the end of each. She points both hands at Finn and launches them. With the flat of the Night Sword, Finn bats them away.

“Mom, I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Irrelevant. Subject will be stopped by all available means.”  

She slings her arms back around and lashes them at Finn. Though he avoids the needle tips, one of the telescopic cables ripples out and catches against him. Pain thrums up his side as he stumbles back. He glances towards the Lich, still wailing in pain within his light-filled prison. Gritting his teeth, Finn tightens his grip on the hilt and rushes forward.

_‘I’m sorry, Mom.’_

His mother retracts one of her arms and fires it again, the length coiling out at him like a silvery serpent with poisonous fangs barred. Finn jukes to the right and brings his blade down at an angle across the cable. It cuts clean through, sending the android’s hand and a good portion of her arm flying off behind him.

Undaunted, the Minerva bot slashes out with her remaining arm. Her swings start to grow increasingly frantic as he continues to dodge.

“Keep it up, Finn! I’m almost through her perimetric firewall.”

“Does that mean you–whoa!” Finn avoids another lash. “You’re doing something to help, Frieda? Cuz it looks like you’re still comforting Susan.”

“I can multitask!” Frieda snaps as she types in a few more commands into her computer. “Aaaand got it!”

The message ‘success: extremities disabled’ flashes across her holo-screen and Minerva freezes in place mid-attack. Finn lets out a sigh of relief, glad he wasn’t going to have to completely dismember his own mother piece by piece.

“Hoh man. Thanks, Frieda.”

“You’re welcome. Now, hurry up and trash up that console; her anti-hacking systems will kick in at any second!”

Nodding, Finn hurries back to the terminal and hefts his sword high overhead.

“Wait! Just wait!” Malloy shouts, reaching out a hand from his position on the floor. He spits out a gob of blood. “I beg you, think for one moment about what you’re doing, Finn! We’re so close…the world can be all ours again!”

“The world was never ours, Malloy – not even at our people’s peak. And it never will.”

“ **NO!** ”

Finn swings the blade down through the console in a shower of blue sparks. The beam cutting up through the ceiling switches off. Out through the hole in the wall, the green glow dissipates and the sky fades back to black. For a moment, everything is peaceful. That is, until a pink aura surrounds one of the stabilizing discs at the top of the Lich’s cage. It splits in half and the containment field goes dead.

There is an explosion of glass and a peal of the dead sorcerer’s laughter as his prison shatters around him. Stoliad rises just as their flesh finishes reforming and bounds forward.

“LICH!” Finn yells, dropping into a run at his nemesis.

“As I said at the beginning, Finn: you’re too late! Too late, by far!”

The Lich cackles as Stoliad collides with him, their bodies liquefying and igniting in a brilliant green flame on impact. The blazing essence boils and bloats before swiftly coagulating into a giant oily black orb. Finn leaps in against the building heat with a last-ditch thrust of his sword, but the burning ball bursts up into the air, hovering just beyond reach. There, the emerald flame coalesces into a single point – a green dot at the center of a black abyss. It fixes on him with a familiar and awful intensity.

Sword raised high, Finn lets out a stalwart battle cry and charges forward. A tendril leaps out from the orb and heat and darkness consume him.

* * *

“ **GRAAAAAAH!!** ”

Huntress Wizard falls to her knees, clutching her head. Around her, the townspeople continue to close in.

“Please get up, HW!” Flame Princess pleads as she desperately tries to pull her friend to her feet.

The nymph reaches out and slams a gloved palm into FP’s chest with alarming strength. Shocked, Flame Princess falters back. Words tumble in a graceless babble from HW’s mouth as she grinds her fists into the ground:

“L-limb from limb: tooth, nail – ripped red and raw. Hunt alone, every-everyone hunts, and everyone hunts alone. Dog eat dog; wolf eat wolf. Eat…or eaten. Eat or EATEN! EATOREATEN! KILL-A-A-ANDKILLED!”

Teeth bared, Huntress Wizard extends a shaky, open hand and summons a dozen arrows.

“Huntress!” Princess Bubblegum shouts.

There’s no stopping it. With a flick of her fingers, HW propels the deadly missiles straight into the crowd of humans. The rest of the adventurers brace themselves for the ensuing tumult of screams.

But none arrive.

The arrows stop mid-flight, suspended in the air mere centimeters away from their intended targets. They crackle with lethal magics, aching for discharge as Huntress Wizard fights from the other end to keep both the arrows and her sanity from slipping her grasp. She trembles in every limb, feeling her shallow hold on herself rapidly receding against the excruciating pull of the Wild down inside. The arrows edge closer. She shuts her eyes.

‘ _I can’t! No! I’m sorry Finn, everyone! I’m not…I’m not hard enough!’_

The members of the mind-controlled mob not held at arrow-point advance with their weapons raised. They are all nearly upon them by now. A wall of flesh erects itself around them, keeping the humans at bay.

“You can do it, Huntress!”                  

The wood nymph perks up at the sound of Jake’s voice.

“We love you, HW! And we’re here for you! Woo!”

Hearing this, the others quickly join in with their own cheers of encouragement:

“A thousand years, and you’re the only other tranch I’ve met that might be more hard-core than me, Huntress. You’re amazing and we need you with us!”

“I know what it’s like to lose control of yourself, HW. It’s terrifying, but you have friends to keep you safe!”  

“당신은 저를 이해할 수 없습니다, 헌트리스, 난 당신을 믿습니다!”

“Take it from me, Huntress: even if you try to push people away, you’re never as alone as you think you are.”

The emphatic warmth in their words strikes like the prongs of a tuning fork against Huntress’ heart. They resonate long and pure, descending into the depths of her solitary soul.

 _‘The wolf…the wolf doesn’t hunt alone. It hunts in a pack. As part of a family. I’ll never be soft as long as my family is strong. And I’ve found the best family in all of_ Ooo _._ _With them, I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been before.'_       

Huntress Wizard’s breathing evens out as she opens her eyes. They’re no longer dilated.

“…I won’t…I won’t be trapped by instinct and fear. Any. MORE!”

With a yell, Huntress Wizard clenches her hand into a fist. At her command, the arrows swing their tips downward and shoot harmlessly into the ground at each human’s feet before disappearing one by one.

“Heck yeah!” Marceline shouts.

“Yes!” PB exclaims.

Flame Princess walks to Huntress Wizard’s side and helps her up. She gives her a reassuring hug (careful not to burn any of her skin). “I knew you could do it, girl.”

“Thanks,” HW blushes and takes a deep breath. “I think I’m finally starting to get it.”

As if on cue, the pink glow around the humans’ heads fades away. They stop and look about their surroundings in a collective daze.

One of the humans that was at HW’s mercy blinks in confusion. “W-where are we?”

“Not in a safe place,” PB responds. “Does the town have any emergency shelters?”

The human stares dumbly at the gum girl for a moment and then nods. “Uh, yeah. There’s an underground shelter for monster attacks. Are we under attack right now, Miss Mutant? Is that why we’re all out here?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes, you are being attacked, but not by us. Jake: lower your wall.”

“You got it, Princess.”

The yellow blockade melts back into Jake’s body as Princess Bubblegum addresses their audience. “Everyone! I know you are all confused and afraid, but at present you are in immense danger while out in the open. Please evacuate in an orderly fashion to the town’s emergency shelter and remain inside until the all clear is given.”

For a moment, the townsfolk mill about in a slightly dumbfounded state, but nevertheless begin to file out through the main road in short-order. As soon as the square empties, Princess Bubblegum turns to her friends.

“Something must have broken Stoliad’s hold on their minds. We need to get to the top of that tower fast.”  

There’s another heavy rumble from within the building and a massive blast of green light erupts from the top of the tower. The beam carries up until it starts to pool in a dome across the atmosphere.

“Okay!” Princess Bubblegum exhales sharply. “Even faster, then!”

Marceline takes PB by the waist and Huntress Wizard hops onto Lady’s back. Together, the gang flies and stretches their way up to the giant hole left by Stoliad. There, they find Finn fending off his mother’s flurry of attacks, Frieda tending to a fried Susan, and Simon beating the tar out of Leader Malloy.  

“I don’t know what the blood is going down in there, but we gotta help!”

“Jake, there’s a reason why there’s no sound. It’s pr-”   

Jake stretches forward, only to collide face-first against the lab’s barrier.

“Ow!” He recoils and rubs his snout. 

“Like I was saying,” Princess Bubblegum continues. “There’s a field surrounding this area. We need to get to the entrance on the other side. Take us over quick, Lady.”

“물론, 풍선 껌.”

They come together around Lady Rainicorn and phase through the side of the tower directly underneath the lab. The friends then cut across a crowded cross-section of rooms before arriving in an open level on the main stairwell. As Lady sets them down, a tremor rumbles up around them.

“I really don’t like the sound of that,” Flame Princess remarks.

“They’re right above us. We need to hurry!” Princess Bubblegum declares as she takes to the stairs.

Following her lead, the adventures bound up the steps that ushers them out into a small hallway with a large door at its end. A shout from Finn reverberates behind it.

“I’m here, Finn!” Huntress Wizard calls as she breaks into a sprint.

The nymph takes a running leap and plants a well-aimed kick against the steel panel. The door is thrown open, revealing Finn as he’s swallowed up by a dark, flaming tendril. Straightaway, HW summons several arrows to her aid and unleashes them all at once upon the floating orb. Yet, the volley disintegrates before it can even touch it. The fiery pupil swivels around toward her and her friends. A throaty chuckle fills the room.

And at that, the black ball expands - its pitch-like mass piling up exponentially. The lab’s walls and ceiling rip open with a shrill squeal, sending the ring of Minerva-bots stationed on top of the tower tumbling down into the lab floor below. Now free of its constraints, the immense, churning mass floats out over Humantown, spreading out like a heaving storm cloud. It hangs within the air for a brief moment and then starts to shape itself. As though filling a mold, the black ooze spills and pours in and onto itself, gradually taking form until the colossal figure of the Lich looms high within the night sky. He throws his head back and opens his jaw as a high, malicious laughter rattles the land.

 **“** **AAHAAAHAAAAHAAAAA!!!** ”

Left within the broken wreckage of the lab, the group of adventurers can do nothing but gaze up in wordless dread at the terrible being towering before them.     


	13. Chapter 13

“BMO, it is taking an exceedingly long time to navigate through this ventilation system. I am worried for Creator.”

“NEPTR, we must have the element of surprise if we are going to defeat the Lich and save Finn and everyone. Please, trust me as your big sister and brother.”

“Very well. I will trust you, BMO, as I have no other recourse at this point.”

The two robots stop at another fork in the ducts. BMO briefly illuminates the paths with his screen as she takes a look down both of them. There is nothing but nondescript sheet metal, dust, and darkness stretching ahead of them in either direction.

“Tell me NEPTR, which way will take us closer to Finn?”

“My tracker indicates that we should keep a leftward bearing.”

BMO and NEPTR gradually pull themselves around several twists and turns, awkwardly fumbling through the cramped confines. On one last blind corner, BMO stumbles over the rim of a gasket set at the edge of a sharp, slide-like decent. In a panic, she grabs hold of NEPTR’s arm but only succeeds in dragging the poor pie lobber along with her. Yelling and thumping loudly down the steep ductwork, the two finally spill out onto a more level and brightly lit section of the system.

“Ooooh…”

“BMO, despite my unwavering love for Creator, I have exhausted all patience with this adventure.”

“Don’t…” BMO moans again. “Don’t be a thrasher, NEPTR.”

A loud and familiar shout from below pops BMO’s eyes open. She is lying screen-down against a stretch of metal grating. Beneath her is none other than Finn, charging at a flaming black orb. BMO gasps as the orb lashes out a tendril and swallows the champion whole.

“Finn!”

NEPTR, lying on his side, whirls his treads as he tries to right himself, “Is Creator down there? What’s happening, BMO? I can’t see anything.”

“He needs our help! We need to get down!”

Steel clacks against steel as a new voice pierces the room below:

“I’m here, Finn!”

Venomous laughter chokes the air and the black orb bloats outward, rising quickly against the grating. There’s a rasp of rending metal and the shaft crumples and splits around the two robots.

“AHH!” NEPTR cries. “I don’t know what’s happening!”

As the grating gives way beneath them, BMO catches the torn edge of the vent with one hand and NEPTR’s arm in the other. Dust and debris are thrown up in a maelstrom around them, forcing the robotic duo to dangle blindly until the havoc finally passes. Venturing a peek at their surroundings, BMO finds them dangling out over the ruins of the central tower’s peak while a colossal Lich cackles madly up against the sky.

BMO carefully releases his hold and the two drop into the wreckage below, down amongst the Minerva-bots and human soldiers lining the floor. None of the adventures notice; their attention remains riveted on the monolithic Lich.

The harrowing laughter breaks off abruptly and the great undead amalgamation straightens. A word disgorges like a noxious fume from the back of his throat:

“ **Retribution.** ”

He directs a massive skeletal hand toward the tower and a pale green glow envelops Leader Malloy. As he begins to glide outward, he cries out and claws at the smooth tiled floor.

“No, no, **no!** Help! Help! Save me! SAVE **ME!** ”

Mindful of Finn’s commitment to saving lives (even one as hateful and duplicitous as Malloy’s) Huntress Wizard reluctantly looses a vine arrow in an attempt to tether the fox-hooded man from drifting away. The arrow flies true but evaporates against the green aura surrounding him. Powerless to stop it, HW and her friends look on helplessly as their former enemy is drawn to his ultimate fate.

“HELP ME! MINERVA! MINERVA, PLEASE!”

As soon as he lands inside the Lich’s skeletal clutch, green fire crawls up along his flesh. It consumes him completely.

“FOUNDERS HAVE **MERCY PLEASEPLEASEPEEEEEAAAAAAAA!** ”         

Leader Malloy’s shrieks die off as his body reduces to ash with preternatural speed. The Lich opens his hand, allowing the wind to scatter the human’s remains.

“Hnheheh. The time is nigh.” The Lich extends his arms out at his sides with his palms facing downward. “ **OPEN.** ”

A pink portal with green fire burning along its perimeter materializes directly below him, swallowing up a small, empty section of Human Town in the process. Down below its surface is a latticework of colorful bubbles all linked together by a seemingly endless series of black bands. Jake gasps, recognizing the network immediately.

“That – that’s the thing! The portal thing! From Farmworld!”

“Farmworld? What are you talking about, Jake?”

“It’s hard to explain, PB. Okay, super abridged version: Finn and I went to another dimension this one time and there was another version of the Lich there that was also me. He opened a portal dealy just like that one and said it was a gateway to every dimension. Finn cut off one of his arms while we were fighting him, it dropped into the portal, and I saw it multiply across the entire multiverse.”

“HU-WHAT?!” Terror sweeps over Princess Bubblegum’s face. “The multiverse! Grod…that’s what he meant, then, in seizing Golb’s throne. He’s trying to merge with every fragment and multidimensional version of himself. He’ll become a god; we have to stop him!”

“Stop him? How, in all 50 Dead Worlds, are we going to stop anything like _that_?!” Flame Princess exclaims, pointing up at the giant Lich. “We’re exhausted and we couldn’t even beat him before he got juiced up on your candy sphynx fusion!”

“You have a plan, right, Bonnie?” Marceline asks nervously.

Anxiously glancing about, Princess Bubblegum’s gaze alights on BMO and NEPTR amid the collection of Minerva-bots sprawled across the floor.

“BMO? NEPTR? How did you two get up here?”

The rest of the gang turns to see the two little robots.

“We came to help save Finn and defeat the Lich!” BMO chirps.

“She refuses to elaborate on how we will accomplish this. I followed because I am without any other companions and am easy to manipulate emotionally.”

“BMO, I don’t know what could have possessed you, but you and NEPTR might have saved our skins.”

“Hooray!”

She bends downs and picks them up. “I have an idea. It may take a while to set up, though. Marcy, Phoebe, Jake, and Lady: I need all of you to keep the Lich busy for as long as you can.”

Flame Princess gestures to the Lich once more. “Again – how?”

“You don’t need to actually damage him. Just do enough to keep his attention on you and off of merging with his other selves.”

With an exasperated sigh, FP nods. “We’ll buy you as much time as possible. Just don’t let us down, Bonnibel.”

At this, Flame Princess jets up into the sky with both Jake and Lady accompanying her. Marceline snaps her fingers as she watches them go, summoning her axe in a burst of black energy. She gives the strings a soft strum and prepares to follow, but a hand catches her own. Princess Bubblegum pulls her down and the pair slip into a deep kiss with one another. At length, PB pulls away and tilts her forehead against Marceline’s.

“Please be careful, Mar-Mar.” She murmurs. “There’s so, so many ways this could go bad.”

“But it’s never worse than doing nothing. Right, P-Brains?” The vampire girl says with a playful wink. She gives her love’s hand a firm squeeze and drifts away.

PB’s gaze lingers on Marceline as she makes for the Lich. A silvery sigh escapes her lips.

Huntress Wizard speaks up from behind. “Okay, I guess I’ll be joining everyone else in distracting the Lich, then.”

Instead of replying, Princess Bubblegum shakes her head and steps over to the main Minerva-bot still frozen in her spot. The force of the Lich’s exodus had knocked her to the floor along with her other duplicates. She crouches down and deposits BMO and NEPTR. “Frieda, Simon: could I get your help hooking these two up to the all the Minerva-bots?”

Reluctantly, Frieda lifts Susan’s head from her lap. She lays it gently onto the ground and moves to the main Minerva-bot with her wrist projector at the ready. Simon moves in alongside her to assist. While they begin to pop open a variety of compartments and dig out wires from their casings, Princess Bubblegum takes Huntress Wizard aside.

“Huntress, I need you to do something else. And it’s a lot to ask.”

“What?”      

“The Lich has Finn inside of him.”

“Yeah, we distract him, you do whatever your thing is, the Lich goes down, and we get him out. Easy.”

“It’s not that simple. If Finn’s still inside the Lich and my plan works…”

“Yeah?”

“Huntress…he’ll be killed.”

The forest nymph feels her heart tighten. “You can’t.”

“I know. That’s why I’m asking you to make a choice: we either play it safe and destroy the Lich as soon as we have a shot, or we take an incalculable gamble and hold off long enough for you to find a way inside with your magic and bring Finn back out.”

“…”

“The odds are low that you’ll even survive an attempt at saving him. And if the Lich manages to merge with his alternate selves in that time, well…that’ll be it for everyone, too. Are you willing to risk that for him?”

“Why even give me the option, PB? I thought you didn’t leave your people’s safety up to chance.”

“No, usually I don’t but…” She bites her lip. “I’ve been unfair to Finn for a long time now. I’ve asked him to save me, my kingdom, and all of Ooo countless times over. I know he was happy – eager, even – to do it, but it’s still an awful responsibility to thrust upon a sweet kid like him. We owe it to him after everything he’s done.”

Huntress Wizard studies the monarch’s face intently. It’s taught and serious. “A bit of hunting advice: if you have a shot, you take it. I’m gonna go get him, but Finn would die happy knowing everyone was safe. I would, too, so don’t hold off on our account.”

As Huntress Wizard turns to leave, Princess Bubblegum places a hand on her shoulder.

“He loves you. I know what to look for when it comes to Finn’s affections and, yeah, I can tell he’s head over heels for you, Huntress. He trusts you with his heart and his life.”

“I’ve only ever eaten hearts and ended lives, Bonnie.” Huntress Wizard remarks. “Still don’t know if I can offer anyone much else, but I feel like I can for Finn.” She then shifts into a hawk and flits off in the direction of the Lich.

* * *

Swells of yellow and black hands reach up from the portal beneath the Lich. Each one grabs hold of the giant undead necromancer above, draping his form in what looks like long filamentous mantles of a robe. With every subsequent layer added, the Lich continues to grow in size.

A bright flame slices through a section of limbs below his outstretched arms. The Lich breaks from his power-drunk reverie and fixes his attention upon Flame Princess as she hovers before him.     

“Ahh, Princess of Flames.” He booms. “Impatience is unbefitting of your station. I shall grant death’s blessing to everyone shortly.”

“The only thing I’m impatient with is your _stupid_ death-god shtick!”

Another gout of flame bursts from her hands, cutting across the Lich’s torso and sending a swathe of arms tumbling back into the dimensional void.

“But I wouldn’t dare deny a Princess her request.”   

The Lich opens his maw and a green ball of necrotic energy wells up from the back of his throat. As the beam begins to spill out, an oversized fist slams into the bottom of his chin. Trapped against the back of his mouth, the sickly green energy detonates. Teeth and shards of jawbone sail through the air like shrapnel, leaving only the top half of the Lich’s skull intact.      

The large fist recoils and shrinks back down to Jake’s side. He glares up at their enemy from atop Lady Rainicorn’s back and shouts:

“Cough up my brother, you scrat!”

The Lich’s jaw reforms into an aggravated scowl. “If you wish to share his fate, Dog, I can deliver you to him.”

Dozens of arms rise up from across the thick weave of strands and shoot out towards the three adventurers. Their sharply clawed hands open wide, fingers grasping for something to latch onto. Flame Princess and Lady assume evasive maneuvers at once, winding and spiraling through the air while firing off bolts of fire and prismatic lasers to cut away at the pursuing appendages. Jake, doing his best not to be thrown off of Lady’s back, sprouts several arms with cutting tools at their ends to snip any getting too close to his wife-girlfriend.

No matter how many they cut, though, there are far too many to evade. They swarm in, encircling the trio completely in a matter of seconds. The legion of hands dart in to seize them, but something unseen carves clean through their connecting arms from behind. As the elongated limbs tumble away through the air, Marceline reappears with her axe bass slung over her shoulder.

“You guys alright?”

“Yeah.” Flame Princess breathes in relief. “Thanks for the save.”      

“Cool. Let’s give this sliz-lord something to focus on.”

Marceline swoops down, feathers and two pairs of greyish white wings sprouting from her body. As she buries her axe into the edge of the Lich’s hip, talons erupt from her feet while her facial features recast themselves to become bestial and lion-like. She snarls, gives a powerful beat of her wings, and drags the axe up across his chest. A rain of arms follows in her wake.

Taking the cue, the others renew their attacks: Flame Princess lobbing out fire balls, Lady tracing beams, and Jake hacking away with sword and axe hands. In response, the Lich simply turns his hands upward. A surge of green electricity pulses out from his palms and races across the interdimensional tissue steadily accumulating around him. Immediately, countless growths blister out across the necromancer’s body and reform themselves into miniature versions of himself, all looking up at their targets with a unified gaze. They raise their hands as one and thick columns of green fire spew out in every direction.

With precious little time to dodge, Marceline carves a large gash into one of the duplicates next to her with a swipe of her axe and leaps down under the blanket of threads for cover. Lady banks away sharply, just barely keeping Jake from eating a face full of necrotic flame. The tip of her tail and a portion of her coat are still heavily scorched in the process, however. Flame Princess, weakened after so much sustained fighting, cannot summon enough energy to manipulate the combined torrent of blasts crashing about her. One of the columns breaks through her defenses, lashing harshly across her left arm.

“GAHHH!”

A nauseating pain thrums through the young elemental, pitching her into freefall as vertigo seizes her senses. She kicks her legs out in a muddled bid to reignite her jets, but the soles of her feet offer only a spark and sputter in return. The ground pinwheels up to meet her and Flame Princess feels a desperate cry squeezing its way up from her lungs. No more than the first half-shouted syllable breaches her lips, though, before she feels something hook firmly around her shoulders. It yanks up, wrenching her entire body to a halt. Looking up, she finds herself held aloft in the clutches of a giant hawk as it circles in descent. The bird gazes down at her through a distinctive black mask half-covered by the edge of a hood.

“Huntress Wizard! Oh, thank Glob!”                

The altered nymph caws in reply and glides the rest of the way down into the remains of one of many ruined human households on the periphery of the Lich’s portal. She deposits FP gently on the floor, reverts to her humanoid form, and promptly crouches down at the monarch’s side.

“Hold on one second. This should neutralize the burn.” She says, worry evident in her tone. She gestures for a bit and places both hands atop the burn mark on her fiery friend’s arm. A warm white glow pulses in silky rills across the wound, soothing it to a dull throb after a brief period.

Flame Princess moans in relief. “Ooh man, thank you, HW. Oof…never thought I’d get scorched by anything.”            

“No problem. Are you alright? Can you still fight?”

She gives a testing flex of her arm as she rises to her feet. “I’m running on fumes, but thanks to you, I think so. I’m gonna try to stick closer to the ground, though. You coming?”

“Unfortunately, no.” Huntress Wizard sits down and assumes a lotus position. “I have a spell to weave – a complicated one.”

“Will it help take down the Lich?”

“…Maybe. It might be a really, really dumb thing to do, though.”

Flame Princess crosses her fingers. “Here’s hoping, then. Good luck, Huntress.”

“Thanks, Phoebe. You’re a…” She swallows. “You’re a really good friend. It’d be nice if we hung out or something once this is over.”

Flame Princess smiles. “I’d love to.”

“Yeah. Better get this over with, then.”

Nodding, Flame Princess passes out the door, blue flames bright against the night air as she lifts off in a hover. Left alone in the dark, Huntress Wizard exhales and closes her eyes, letting out a droning hum from the bottom of her chest. She holds the single note within her throat, gradually descending in pitch, before transitioning into a low and guttural chant. Her mantra – a meticulous blend of ancient forest speak and orphic verse – spills out across her tongue as a wellspring of bright golden magic emerges amid her feverishly gesturing hands. The magic condenses around her fingertips and she begins to inscribe a delicate series of runes in the space just barely above her skin, starting first at her legs then working methodically up along her stomach, chest, and arms. At the center of her forehead, Huntress Wizard finishes by drawing a crescent moon with an arrow running through its center.     

When she opens her eyes again, her pupils are gone. Consumed in bright, burning golden light.

* * *

An indistinct stretch of asphalt swirls into Peppermint Butler’s vision as he finally regains consciousness. He lies still, staring vacantly ahead with his face pressed flush against its rough surface. His head hurts. Seconds tick by and he continues to lie in his spot. Then, all at once, the memories are thrown into sharp relief across his hazy senses: Goliad and Stormo’s ambush, losing control, attacking the Princess and her friends.

_‘The Princess!’_

Peppermint Butler flips himself over and shoots up to his feet, looking about desperately for his mistress. He finds nothing; only the dusky, deserted streets of Humantown remain, adorned in the mangled corpses of two of his favorite demonic servants.

_‘At least they managed to take me out of the fight.’_

A twinge of pain lances down from the top of his head. He winces and reaches up to touch the tender spot, only to brush across the rim of a shallow crater in his minty skull. At his feet are a scattering of peppermint shards. A tremor judders the ground, rattling the broken bits about.

Ignoring the minor injury (for his physiology, at least), Peppermint Butler turns his attention to the source of the vibrations. And his jaw drops unabashedly open.

The mind-boggling sight of a skyscraper-sized Lich nearly sends him teetering back into unconsciousness. He fights it off, though. Now was not the time to seek the cold comforts of oblivion. The Princess had need of his services after all.

He treads through the rubble littering the street and comes to a particularly large section of warped metal leaning against the side of a squat-looking building. It takes a bit of doing with his short limbs, but he manages to clamber up it and reach the roof. There, Peppermint Butler gets a better view of the dire scene as it unfolds. Even in the dark, he can pick out the light radiating from Flame Princess as she sweeps around the Lich’s legs, tossing up bursts of fire with each pass. He can also discern Lady Rainicorn and Jake’s position from the former’s laser blasts.        

As he continues to scan the battle, wondering where the others might be, he gets a partial answer in the form of Marceline exploding out of the Lich’s skin with a shriek. With arms trailing from her body like clutching vines, she grows into a giant version of her new bird-lion-human form. She’s still nowhere near as large as the Lich, but it appears – at least from a distance – to level the field by a small degree. The vampire girl snarls and plunges a clawed hand into her foe’s chest. She rakes up, taking out a large chunk of Lich-flesh in the process.      

With a wrathful howl, the Lich summons a ball of necrotic energy in each hand and lunges at Marceline. She catches him by his wrists, locking them into a grapple against each other.

_‘I have to help.’_

Peppermint Butler opens up his tailcoat and plucks out a vial of white fluid tucked inside a small pocket within the lining. A red label across it reads ‘For emergency use only!’. He swallows nervously.

_‘By any means necessary…’_

He kneels down and traces a weird, caricature of a face in the thick layer of debris and dust covering the rooftop. He then casts the vial down. As it shatters and the milky substance soaks into the drawing, he shouts:

“MALOSO VOBISCUM ET CUM SPIRITUM!”

 A dark portal opens across the face, spilling over with a roiling vortex of flame. From within its fiery depths, clouds of concentrated chaotic Nightosphere magic mash together with an assortment of organs to form the grinning demonic visage of Hunson Abadeer.

“Oh, hey, Peppermint Butler! Good to see you. You call me up to play a round of golf or something? We could go suck a few souls at Golf Kingdom after we’re done.”

Peppermint Butler shakes his head. “Lord Abadeer-”

“Ut-tut-tut. How many times do I have to tell you, Peps? The ‘Lord’ stuff is for my flunkies. We’re bros. Just call me Hunson.”

“Hunson, we have a horrible situation. Marceline, she’s fighting for her un-life with the Lich over there. We need your help to defeat him.”

Hunson starts and turns to where his daughter is wrestling with the Lich as though only noticing it for the first time.

“The Lich, huh? I really thought that goober was gone for good this time. Looks like he’s been busy.”

“Please, Hunson. You have to intervene! Marceline could die without your help.”

The demon lord’s face darkens upon hearing this. “Hold that thought for one second, Peps.”

He snaps his fingers and another mishmash of guts comes snaking out of the portal next to them. The set of organs reassembles itself into a quivering imp demon. He falls to his hand and knees in prostration before them.

“You summoned me, oh great and terrible Lord Abadeer?”

“Yes, Sean, I did. Peppermint Butler here just informed me that Marceline is in mortal peril. Isn’t it _your_ responsibility to keep me updated whenever her situation changes?” 

The little imp goes pale. “Y-y-yes, your worshipful Lordship. But I can-”

“Just making sure.” He snaps his fingers again and the imp screams as he’s shredded apart on an atomic level. The small puddle of demon fluid that remains is sucked back down into the Nightosphere portal. Hunson returns his attention to Peppermint Butler.

“Now then, I’d love to help out if Marceline’s in danger and all, but are you sure?”

“What are you talking about? Look at her! She needs help!”

A bright blast of green light issues out of the Lich’s eyes. Marceline flinches out of the way, but the blast scorches her across the side of her neck. She lets out a pained grunt but continues to hold her own against the necromancer as Jake, Lady, and FP provide support.

“Every time I’ve ever tried to help Marceline, it’s always gone badly for the two of us. From all the times I’ve spied on her, fighting against an undead magical giant looks like some pretty standard fare next to the other goody-goody adventure stuff she gets up to…are you absolutely certain she needs my help?”

“Yes, Hunson, I swear.”

“Alright, I’ll take your word for it. But if you’re wrong and she hates me, I’ll turn your body into an aerosol and use it as deodorant.” He grins and claps Peppermint Butler on the back. “Good seeing ya, buddy! Call me up for golf sometime. I’ve been itching to hit those links for a while now.”

At that, Hunson Abadeer strolls over the side of the roof, floating off toward his daughter.

Peppermint Butler lets out a harsh breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding until then. He leans over, resting both hands on his knees as he squeezes his eyes shut.

 _‘Please. Please let this be the right decision.’_    

 

Marceline roars, black smoke pouring off her as she struggles against the Lich. He bears down upon her with unrelenting power, the tips of his fire-filled hands just a few feet from the edge of her face. Below, more strand-like arms slither in around her chest and legs. Lady, Jake, and Flame Princess work together to strip them away, but no matter how many they burn, tear, or shoot they can’t hold back the creeping, grasping tide.

The vampire queen quivers; her arms are starting to give out beneath the strain. Before her, the Lich cackles as his hands sink another foot closer.

“Ready to give in at last, Queen of Vampires? You’ve had an achingly long stay here, haven’t you?”

“W-worth every second, if I get to – rrgh! – to protect my friends from a crusty slodrod like you!”

“Hey! Marceline!”

Eyes widening, Marceline glances down at the familiar voice.

“ **DAD?!** ”

“That’s my name, Lil’ Lady!”

“What are you **doing** here?!”

“Just thought I’d drop by, check up on things with you. All my idea, of course.” Hunson Abadeer drifts casually up next to Marceline’s head and perches on her shoulder. “This weirdo giving you trouble, Marcy? Just say the word and I’ll lend a hand.”

Marceline grits her teeth and glances back up into the Lich’s burning gaze. She feels her hold dangerously close to slipping. “Grrrh! Fine! Fine! Dad, I need your help!”

“All I needed to hear, Honey. Mwah!” He plants an obnoxiously sweet kiss on her cheek, making the vampire girl turn bright scarlet in front of her friends. “GROO **OAAAH!** ”

Hunson Abadeer sheds his semi-human appearance in an instant and bloats upward into his full demonic form. He quickly surpasses Marceline’s height, soon standing nearly as tall as the Lich himself. He hugs Marceline around the chest from behind and then wrenches her free of the arm strands growing around her. Marceline sighs in relief as she floats freely once more.

“Hoo boy…that was pretty rough. Thanks, Dad.”

“Anything to help you, Baby. Wanna help your old man give this creep a proper Abadeer-brand thrashing?”

“I’d be delighted.”

“RRRRAAAAH!”

“HRAAAAH!”

Together, the father/daughter duo launch themselves against the Lich. Marceline invokes her smoke claws and goes low, rending them as deep as she can into the weave of limbs tethering him to the portal. Flame Princess, Jake, and Lady also swoop in to aid her. Hunson, meanwhile, goes high and rushes the Lich head on. He throws a freight-train of a right hook, knuckles burning blue with Nightosphere magic, square into the necromancer’s face. The bone shatters with a gratifying crunch around his fist. An approximation of a grin passes the vertical slit of his mouth.            

“Should’ve kept in your lane, Lich. I really couldn’t care less if you get off killing mortals – just more potential souls for the Nightosphere as far as I’m concerned.”

“Hey!” Flame Princess shouts, glaring up at him indignantly alongside Jake and Lady. 

The demon lord glances at Marceline and finds her frowning up at him as well while she claws her way through a particularly dense tangle of stands.

“Individuals important to Marceline excluded, of course.” He removes his fist and coughs awkwardly into it. “Anyhow, you crossed the line; no one tries to off my daughter. No one.”  

“Ahh, Abadeer.” A pyre of emerald fire billows up from the Lich’s mouth and eyes as his face reforms. “Stanchly myopic as always. Even you must realize what’s at stake now. Why I’m compelled to act.”  

 “Yeah, I heard the new Golb is causing some issues further up the pipeline.”

“And yet you would still stop me?”

 “Yes. Yes, I would.”

Hunson lashes out with one of the dark tentacles growing from his shoulder. The tendril wraps around the Lich’s right arm and then rips it off entirely.

“Don’t get me wrong; I know how it all works.” He throws out another tentacle, this time tearing the other arm off at the elbow before the Lich can retaliate. “If it were just up to me, I'd stay out of it. But, at the end of the day, I’m on whichever side my girl is on. So, we’ll just have to cross that bridge after we deal with you.”

“You are an entity of chaos, Abadeer. As Golb wanes, so too do you. I, on the other hand…” the Lich regenerates his two arms and then grows four more besides, “am only getting stronger with each second.”

Rapidly, the Lich swipes down, seizing Marceline, FP, Lady, and Jake within two of his hands. He lunges forward in the next instant, grabs Hunson by the arms, and begins to mercilessly batter the dark lord with his remaining pair of fists wreathed in necrotic fire.

“Pompous!” A hard strike against the eye leaves it swollen and bruised.

“Complacent!” A gash opens across his bulbous green cheek.

“All that power, yet somehow content in your pointless dominion: only ever rising to gorge yourself after an opportunity presents itself. I am the eternal fount – the crushing wheel of hatred and decay. You are beneath me, Lord of Nothing!”

Blue-green blood trickles from the corner of Hunson’s mouth. “Well, when you put it like that…yeah, I might be an old, empty gasbag. Just ask my daughter, she could vouch for me.” He laughs and coughs. “But, if nothing else, I found something more than death. It took me a long, long time to realize, but it’s something to cherish and hold on to in the face of eternity. I’d do anything for that, Lich, no question.”

“And that is precisely why you and all sentient beings have been condemned to death: you would never let go otherwise. It makes you a dangerous liability.”

“Oh, I’m definitely dangerous. Like you wouldn’t believe.”

Hunson’s eyes blaze dark crimson and two thick laser beams shoot out, tearing into the side of the Lich’s face. In response, the Lich opens his mouth and unleashes a pale-green bust of energy. The opposing energies clash against one another in a deafening roar. As the two titans pour themselves into their attacks, Jake manages to extend a small cord of himself into each of the Lich’s hands. Slowly, he envelops all three of his companions, creating a hollow Jake-skin replicate around them. Each one is imperceptibly larger than they are and with an open top too, allowing them to gently squeeze their way out without him noticing.

As soon as all four are free, Jake retracts his flesh line while Marceline, Flame Princess, and Lady make a unified assault on the base of the Lich’s spine. The sudden strike of a smoke fist, a fire blast, and a concentrated chromatic laser is enough to throw the necromancer out of focus for a split second. Hunson’s twin beams push through the momentarily weakened necrotic ray, slamming straight into the Lich’s open mouth before cutting out through the back of his head. Seizing the opportunity, Hunson pulls the two lasers upward, slicing the skull neatly in half, and then downward at an angle to hew off a few arms and a large chunk of his upper torso. His eye beams finally cut off, leaving the Lich’s headless, hacked-up body standing in place like the trunk of a giant dead tree.

Hunson sinks to his knees and takes several deep gulps of air. “Woof. Haven’t *huuf* fought like that in millennia.” He shifts to a sitting position.

“You alright, Dad?”

“I’m fine, Marcy, thanks to you.”

“Don’t thank just me; my friends helped saved your butt from getting fried, too.” She motions to Flame Princess, Jake, and Lady.

Jake waves up at him, “Hey, Hunson.”

“안녕, 키 큰 악마 맨.”

“Oh. Well then, thanks.”

“The Lich doesn’t seem to be putting himself back together.” FP notes. “Is he down for good this time?”

“I wish. My chaos magic should slow his healing down for a hot minute, but it won’t stop it. He was right about Golb, though. I can feel myself getting weaker. Not sure how many more rounds I can last against him.” Hunson pauses and glances about. “Where’s Finn? Shouldn’t the super-good hero boy be around in your hour of need, Marceline?”

“Uh, we think he’s actually stuck somewhere inside the Lich right now. He got sucked up by him and we don’t actually know how to get him out without getting swallowed ourselves.”

“I might.”

The five group members look to find Huntress Wizard poised at the corner of a gutted building adjacent to Hunson. Adorned in an intricate weave of golden runes, the forest nymph glimmers brilliantly against the gloom of the night.

“Huntress…” Flame Princess starts, joining her friends as they look on at their friend in quiet awe.

“Yeah, it’s impressive, but stupid hard to maintain; I don’t have much time to talk. Mr. Abadeer, I need you to jam me down the Lich’s neck stump. Deep as you can go.”

“Kay.” He reaches over, picks her up, and places her in the palm of his hand. “If you happen to die after I do this, can I suck your soul?”

“DAD!”

“Whaaat? If she has a death wish, she might be open to offering her soul too. You never know.” 

“I’m not going to die. These wards will protect me against the Lich’s insides. If I can get down in there, I have a chance of getting Finn out safely.”

“The last thing Finn would ever want is someone dying on account of him.” Jake points out. A genuine brotherly concern pervades his tone, though it’s cut with a small measure of hope that he can’t hide from her acute senses – try as he might. “Are you sure about this, HW?”

“Not even a little. It’s the best shot we have, so don’t try to stop me. Just keep him busy. If all goes well, I’ll extract Finn before PB launches her super bomb or whatever she’s whipping up. If not, well…it was nice knowing you guys.”

All four friends share a look with one another. Without reservation, they close the distance between them and smother the nymph in a tight group hug.

“Wha-”

“You’re brave, Huntress Wizard. Bring my brother back home.”

“Can’t have that dweeb missing out on another jam session. But, yeah, girl, you’re a hardcore binch. You’ll find a way.”

“우리의 사랑 및 지원을 가져 가라.”

“And for the love of Glob, be safe. I’d see half of Ooo in flames before I’d lose either of you.”

They give her one last collective squeeze and break away. Huntress Wizard takes a deep, steadying breath (mostly to keep herself from breaking down in tears on the spot) and nods. “I’ll get him. I promise.” She then looks up at Hunson Abadeer. “Do it.”

The demon lord folds his fingers gently around her as he rises back to his feet. He steps up to the Lich’s body with his arm upraised and then plunges his fist straight down through the top of the undead sorcerer’s neck.

A cold, icy darkness pours in around Huntress Wizard. There’s an intangible sinking sensation and then she knows no more.    


	14. Chapter 14

The cries draw her to it: ragged bleats that cut roughly into the fragrant spring air of the otherwise tranquil forest. Of course, she was expressly forbidden from straying beyond the confines of the sacred grove, but she’d already slipped the watchful eyes of its lookouts (she’d gotten quite good at it over the past year or so) long before the noise had first caught her interest. It wouldn’t make much difference, either way, if she ventured a little further now.

And she might as well make the most of her little outing, after all.

Adjusting the cloth rucksack on her back, the young forest nymph crests a gentle, well embowered ridge and comes abruptly upon a gutter-like hollow with steep slopes on both sides. The one across from her rises sharply, shifting into a high, rocky cliff face. At its bottom, however, the source of the noise becomes hauntingly apparent. A large bull elk lays flat on its side against the ground. His back legs are pinned, crushed rather, under a heavy stone slab.   

Rockslide. The poor thing had been unlucky enough to be caught in its path. Even more so not to have attracted any predators to end his suffering.

She slides down the side of the hollow and approaches the fatally injured animal. He notices her once she gets close and starts to struggle, digging at the ground with his forehooves as he calls even louder than before. Then, after a bit, the bull goes quiet. He simply stares up at her in utter exhaustion. One big black eye: wet and pleading.

The young nymph bends down. She places a hand between his antlers and strokes her thumb soothingly behind his ear. He snorts. As she comforts the beast, she feels the edge of her other hand brush across something hard. Her gaze drifts over to a splinter of flint laying in the grass with several others. Pieces of the slab – long and sharp. She frowns. For her entire life, she’d been taught to revere the course of nature. Any alteration was to be done _strictly_ out of necessity.

But…she couldn’t.

She picks it up. The dull shard sits heavy in her hand.

Another bellowing bray from the elk below and she knows. Without looking away, she lifts the makeshift dagger and brings the point down right across the neck. Red. Blood, hot and thick comes spilling out. The elk gives a final, wailing call that sputters and dies midway out his throat. He and the forest are both silent once more.

Blood laps in gentle tongues from the wound, pooling steadily below his neck. The little nymph extracts the stained rock but doesn’t move away. She stares at the fallen animal even as the warm pool spreads up to the bottom of her feet. It seems unfitting that the great beast should die forgotten in this lonely corner of the world. Rotting away without any predators to send him off with swift dignity to the next turn.

She spends a long time looking, considering.

Then, with a sudden jab, she gouges the tip of the stone into the elk’s chest. As the edge sinks in, she pulls down. More blood splashes into the open to stain her hands and legs. As soon as the incision is wide enough, the little nymph uses her tool to break past a few ribs and finds the object of her search: a big red organ at the left side of the cavity – an elk’s heart. She takes it tightly in both hands and pulls hard. The muscle is slippery beneath her fingers, but eventually she rips it free of its connective tissue. It sits neatly in her palm, red and shiny like a sweet, ripe fruit. 

Her people take their energy from the sun or forage for whatever nuts, fruit, or mushrooms the forest happens to offer them. The elders, though; they often told stories from long ago when the forest nymphs were not forest nymphs, but part of a tribe called ‘hew-man’ who ate many things, including meat. The hew-man tribe’s hunger for all things grew so great that they warred against the Earth and each other with terrible weapons. The hew-man tribe ultimately perished by its own hand as a result. In their final hour, however, it is said that a privileged few who had still revered their Mother Earth were able to win Her pity. Instead of extinction, they were allowed to shed their hew-man forms and become one with Her forever. And, so, the forest nymphs of Ooo were born.

She hated those kinds of stories. Hearing them made her feel as though she was tethered to a past she had no part in. Still, the notion that her ancestors had been able to eat meat freely was a captivating one. It implied that their bodies might still possess the same capability. She’d seen wolves, along with other predators, eat meat before and always wondered how it might taste. Bringing the heart up to her face, the young nymph sinks her teeth in, taking a sizable chunk out of it. She chews tentatively.

It’s heaven.

Something about the bold tinge of blood on her tongue; the dense texture of the muscle…lovely. Eagerly now, she takes several more bites, savoring every bit that dances across her pallet. A newfound world of flavors and sensations, all for her and her alone to revel in. She has to have more; as much as she can possibly get.

Quickly, she dumps the collection of old-world trinkets that she’d collected in her bag that day and starts removing a selection of the elk’s organs. She packs them inside as tight as she can before bundling the bag and slinging it over her shoulder. Looking once more at the elk, the nymph bows in reverence toward its body and then steals back up the hollow. The blood on her hands and legs is starting to congeal. She would have to find a spring to bathe in before returning home.

* * *

Princess Bubblegum didn’t have time to be surprised anymore. When she saw the giant demonic form of Hunson Abadeer appear in the distance, she briefly considered the possibility that Marceline had summoned him, but otherwise continued soldering around BMO’s delicate circuitry. Glob, the Cosmic Owl, and Abraham Lincoln himself could show up for all she cared. It was absolutely imperative to get everything up and working as fast as possible. 

“Frieda, Simon: I know Marceline’s father is a sight to behold, but you can’t let your concentration waiver.”   

The two humans are openly gawking at the demon lord. Simon snaps back to hooking up NEPTR upon PB’s curt suggestion.

“Sorry, Princess. I saw him once a long, long time ago, but he didn’t look anything like that.”

“That’s the vampire girl’s dad? Her poor mother!”

“Focus, Frieda! Have you put The Maid into position?”

“Right, sorry. Yeah, it’s all loaded up inside the port, right over the lens.”

“And how are you doing with the linkup?”

Frieda looks to her holo-display. “It’s shaky, but the cybernetic nexus is holding across all Minerva-bots. I’ve also managed to extend the lock-out period of the head bot’s extremities. She won’t be giving us any trouble for now.”

“Good. Keep it as stable as you can for the time being; I’ll be done in a few moments.”

Princess Bubblegum readjusts her grip on the iron. She was finding it hard to keep a steady hand while the fate of her love, her friends, and her kingdom all hinged upon her every move. What’s more, the ruined state of the lab had forced her to cobble together most of the equipment they needed, eating away precious seconds.

‘ _Time. Never enough time._ ’   

BMO giggles as she reroutes a few more of her wires.

“You are tickling me, Princess!”

“Bear with it for just a bit more, BMO. If I don’t get this just right, it could crash your entire system.”

The little robot nods and tries stifling her laughter, though she can’t help but let out a strained titter every so often. After several more adjustments, PB finally sets the soldering iron aside and sits back to inspect her work. A long series of wires trails out from BMO’s heart-drive and over to NEPTR’s console on one side and the main Minerva-bot’s head on the other. The Minerva-bot is, in turn, linked up to all of her duplicates in a similar fashion. Attached to BMO’s controller port is a jury-rigged VR helmet composed of a pair of goggles and a mishmash of spare electronics scavenged from Malloy’s broken console, all held together with electric tape.   

Overall, a rough job, but it would have to do. She reattaches BMO’s front casing and sits her up.

“Alright. That should do it. Are you finished over there, Simon?”

“Yes, NEPTR is all set according to your instructions, Princess. What happens now?”

“I go into Minerva’s central processor and try to deactivate the quarantine programs that Malloy put into place. Hopefully, we can get her back to full operating capacity in time.”

“What should we do while you’re in there?” Frieda asks.

“Keep the linkup stable and make sure BMO and NEPTR don’t overload their systems while I’m under. I’ll be able to communicate through your wrist projector, so keep me updated on the Lich’s status. Also, keep an eye on Susan. If she wakes up and is alright to fight, send her to help everyone else. Otherwise, keep your heads down and try to stay safe.”

“We will.” Simon picks up the helmet and passes it to her. “Good luck, Bonnibel.”

Princess Bubblegum takes off her tiara and dons the VR helmet. She lowers the blinded goggles over her eyes and adjusts the bands around her forehead. Once properly secured, she flips a switch at its base. There’s an electric drone as a bright blue current flashes across the cables holding the chain of Minerva-bots together. It passes up through NEPTR and BMO, and then strikes against the helmet with a burst of harsh frequencies.

As though shocked, Princess Bubblegum feels her body go completely rigid before the sensations of the outside world cease altogether. Her vision transitions from black to white.

Slowly, the princess sits up and takes in the virtual realm around her.

“Wow.”

* * *

Jake always kicked the ball too hard.

The way he could make his foot super big…it was cheating. He and Jermaine had told him as much before, but Jake always said it was a reflex; that he couldn’t help doing it. Still, Jake was the one who kicked the ball all the way into the woods, so why’d they have to rock-paper-scissors for who went to get it? Why’d he have to lose? It just wasn’t fair.

_‘No. Dad says don’t be a crybaby. Crybabies don’t whine. They get their ball and bring it back without being scared at all.’_

Injecting some feigned confidence into his step, little Finn marches into the thick brush crowding the forest floor, hoping to find a glimmer of red. Further and further, he walks until the dark green shadows of the hemlock and black cherry trees cover him wholly. And, still, no sign of the ball whatsoever. Finn feels a dampness at the corner of his eyes at the thought of returning to his brothers empty handed, unable to help them. He wipes it away and is about to press onward when he hears a sniffly cough of laughter from behind.

Finn turns about and catches a rustle within a nearby bush. As he approaches, an arm – abnormally long and partially covered in patches of sickly, matted feathers – extends outward with his ball sitting in its gnarled hand. A withered face emerges from the leaves beside. It’s startingly ugly: crooked, elongated features covered in the same mess of natty feathers as its arm, and wrinkly skin filled with warts and a host of parasitic growths. It fixes upon him with milky, cataract-filled eyes and smiles. The teeth are rotten and too long and crowded to fit properly in her mouth.

“Child!” The bird-woman creaks. “Looking for the shiny prize I found? Come to steal it away from dear ol’ Nana Slitches, yesss?”

“No, I…I wasn’t.” Finn takes a wary step backward. His mother had always been vivid in her retellings of the nasty things that hags and witches did to unsuspecting children. He had to be careful now.

“Liar! I’ve glimpsed you and your dog family from the edge of my forest. I watch you play; I watch in the dark as they tuck you in at night. I saw you with your pretty plaything. But now it’s part of _my_ forest so that makes it _mine_!”

She snickers and smacks her chops. Finn feels the hair on his neck prickle.

“And so are you.” 

Her other arm whips out from the bush, snatching at the young boy. Finn is quick enough to duck away from her clawed fingers and bolts back down the path he came from. The hag bursts out of the foliage and scuttles on all four of her spindly limbs in pursuit.

‘ _OH NO OH NO OH NO!_ ’  

“You can’t escape little one!” She cries after him. “I know the sweet smell of your flesh!”

Finn swerves a hard right and leaps over a thick patch of shrubbery. His heart pounding, he can hear the witch scrabbling and shrieking as she plows through the undergrowth mere seconds behind him. He can practically smell her fetid breath, she’s so close on his trail.

_‘Think think think! What did Dad tell you about fighting witches? They’re vulnerable to fire, salt, silver coins soaked in pig’s blood. Grod! I don’t have any of that junk! Can’t lead her back to Jake and Jermain, can’t outrun her…’_

He veers around the trunk of a tree, narrowly avoiding another swipe of the crone’s arms.

_‘I have to deal with her now.’_

“Such a lively child! Your bones will make a fine broth once I strip them of all that lovely, tender meat!”

“How about some knuckles? Ready to serve!”

Finn pivots on his heel (just the way his dad taught him) and slams a tightly balled fist straight into his pursuer’s face. Her nose crumples against it with a loud crackle of cartilage. A scattering of black teeth are cast from her gumline.

“BRAAAAH!” 

The crone reels to the side in pain and Finn stands there, astonished that his last-ditch attack actually managed to hurt her. He never thought that the training regimen his father forced him through each day would ever actually pay off. Nana Slitches clasps a hand over her bleeding nose and glowers viciously back at him.

“Horrid little whelp, much stronger and meaner than you look! Nana knows better now. I’ll gnaw your hands and legs off first – less of a fuss that way.”

Emboldened by success, Finn hollers and rushes at her with a fist wound up for another punishing strike. This time, though, the witch leverages her far longer reach to counter. She swipes outward as soon as he closes in and clocks Finn squarely on the side of his chest. The impact throws Finn backward through the air. His back hits heavily against the base of a large oak tree.

Before he can recover, the crone scuttles up and grabs him by the head. Her long nails cut into his skin as she squeezes.

“You, child, put up quite a fight, but I think your pretty little face will make a lovely head cheese for my pantry.”

Finn grits his teeth as pain fogs his senses. He thrashes in a vain attempt to wriggle out of the cannibal creature’s grasp, but her claws are firmly set around him. As he struggles, his elbow suddenly hits against something sticking out of the tree he’s pinned against. It’s not a root or a branch. Instead, it feels hard and cool to the touch, like steel. He strains his gaze down past the edge of the witch’s hand.  

Embedded in the trunk sits an abandoned blade: gold with a black hilt. A scarlet gemstone is set in the pommel. 

_‘Sword. A sword!’_

As though magnetized, the young boy’s hand snaps around the grip and, with a jerk, he dislodges the weapon. The edge lets out a resonate hum as it sails up and lops straight through the crone’s arm.

A jet of blood paints the side of Finn’s face as he drops back down to his feet. In front of him, Nana Slitches rears back, screaming bloody murder as she clutches at her spurting stump. With no time to waste, Finn lunges forward with a thrust attack and sinks the tip of his sword straight into her wicked heart.

Her scream diminishes to a wet gurgle and her limbs slacken. She flops to the ground and the ball rolls out of her grasp, sitting in the pool of blood oozing out around her decrepit form.

Still shivering with adrenaline, Finn backs up against the tree trunk and slowly slides down into a sitting position. He stares at the body for a long time.

Then, finally, he leans forward and grabs the ball. It’s slick and wet – just like the blade in his hand.

* * *

No sooner had Hunson jammed Huntress Wizard down the Litch’s throat than the undead sorcerer’s body begins to move again. Immediately, it grabs hold of the demon lord’s arm with its remaining limbs and rips him out of its neck. The stump hisses and boils as it begins to reassemble itself.

“He’s regenerating, Dad! Blast him again!”

Heeding his daughter, Hunson shoots another laser (much weaker this time) into the bubbling neckline. Lady and Flame Princess join in as well, their combined beams leveling the black ooze once more.

“Think again.”   

The Lich’s skull surfaces at the center of his chest. Before the trio can redirect their fire, the necromancer’s remaining arms let loose a salvo of heavy necrotic bolts. FP, Jake, and Lady all manage to evade the oncoming blasts, but Hunson’s size and proximity to the Lich makes dodging impossible. He takes the full brunt of nearly every bolt, each one shearing away a portion of his flesh.

He growls in pain as green flames spread across his open wounds.

Marceline dives into action. Brandishing her axe, she pounds her four wings for a straight shot at the Lich’s grinning face. The vampire girl makes a swing, only to find the skeletal visage slipping further up along the chest as the edge of the axe head bites against the weave of tendrils left in its place. It arrives at the top of the neck, swiftly reaffixing itself while the missing portion of the Lich’s chest and arms boil back to full.      

“FP! Can you do anything about those flames?”

“On it, Marcy!”

Flame Princess holds out her hands and draws out the green flames that travel in wild, fanning flares across the Demon Lord’s body. She succeeds in stemming their spread, but the damage is already done for the most part – a scorched tapestry of weeping blisters and bloody gashes covers his skin. Although the more serious injuries start to regenerate, Hunson’s movements appear noticeably sluggish after sustaining such a terrible attack. Either out of pride, love, or stupidity (or a potent combination thereof) the Lord of Evil continues on with the fight regardless.      

Smoke still curling up from sections of exposed muscle, Hunson throws his full weight into the Lich as droves of phosphorescent tentacles come spilling out of his hands and face. The tentacles smash into the Lich, dividing and intertwining among the weave of limbs. With a heave, he wrenches back to tear out a large portion of interdimensional arms shielding the necromancer’s chest. Momentarily unformed and exposed, FP, Marceline, Jake, and Lady drop in to take advantage of the new opening. They lay into him as a unit, slashing, blasting, and burning at the ceaselessly roiling sludge. Yet, whatever damage they manage to do against it is just as quickly undone. The putrid tissue is regenerating faster than ever now.     

The Lich laughs and lunges forward, wrapping one hand entirely around Hunson’s head. With seemingly little effort, he lifts the Demon Lord high into the air and slams him cruelly, face-first back into the earth. The human buildings and streets below are demolished in the crater his body leaves. Not yet done, the Lich slams Hunson repeatedly, over and over until the flattened section of Humantown is coated with the demon’s blood.

“Oh Glob, Dad!”

Rushing to the rescue, Marceline wings her way up and slams her axe through the Lich’s fingers. Hunson Abadeer plummets to the ground with a crushing rumble. He shrinks back down to his human size. Almost immediately, the Lich’s digits regenerate and the undead sorcerer bats Marceline away with the back of his hand, spiking her sharply downward.

“HTT!”

The vampire queen dashes against the ground, landing with a spray against a thick pool of her own father’s blood. Stunned, she lies there, practically floating in it before gradually rising up on her elbows and knees.

*KAFF* 

She coughs and a trickle of the blue-green liquid spills from her lips.

So long…it’d been so, so long since she’d last tasted actual blood. And not just any blood, but demon blood at that. The taste sits on her tongue, almost burning with the unbridled strength of its raw flavor. Even the smell of it is thick inside her lungs and nose, hanging on the air like weather. It takes every last sliver of her willpower not to simply dunk her head back down under the surface and drink to her heart’s content.

Marceline shakes the blood-drenched locks of hair clinging to her face and looks over at her dad’s unconscious form. The Lord of Evil’s face is completely pulped. It’s starting to regenerate, but so slowly that it’s hardly noticeable. She glances over her shoulder to see the Lich snag Jake off of Lady’s back. The sorcerer cackles as he wrings Jake out in his hands, delighting in his pain.

“AHHHGH!” Jake howls. “GAH! NOT AGAAAAIN!”

Lady Rainicorn flits about, shouting Korean obscenities as she tries to free her lover, but with little success. Flame Princess, further below, spouts out a comparatively dim trail of fire at the Lich. Her hair has lost its tall peak.   

_‘I could save them all, Marceline, if you’d just let me.’_

Marceline sets her teeth at the dark voice filtering across her mind.

“Shut up. I don’t need _your_ help. Not now.”

_‘Really? I’d say that your options are looking pretty thin by now. You realize he’ll go after Bubblegum and Simon once he’s done tearing through you. I can make sure that never happens. You just need to give me a little room to work with…’_

“ **Slod off!** ” Marceline shouts out as she flares her wings.

She explodes upward into the sky, axe still in hand as she breaks towards the Lich. Together, the laughter of her foe and the whistle of the wind against her ears are almost loud enough to drown out all the honeyed promises that his voice continues to drip across her thoughts.

* * *

Right upon waking, the little nymph knows that it’s not her parents. They always took care to pad around the house so as not to wake her or her siblings in the middle of the night. Instead, these footsteps strike weightily against the floor, straight up to their shared bedroom. She can’t see anything from her mat except the shadowy outlines of two figures. Without a word, they bend down and take her roughly by her wrists as all her siblings – likely awake, but too petrified to move – watch on. They drag her up and march her towards the front door as she cries out for her parents. Neither one comes to her aid.

Out in the moonlit grove, she can see her assailants clearly: two guardians. She knows them as well as any of the others in the village. The little nymph pleads with them to let her go, but the pair don’t listen. They continue ushering her in grim silence to the village square. A crowd is gathered there; it’s the entire village, or nearly. The throng of nymphs open a way for her and her escorts before closing in around them again. She can feel all eyes on her as she’s led to the center. At last, the guardians release her and take up positions at her side.

Across from her, the crowd parts way once more and the village chieftain enters. She is a stately, older nymph with long, willowy tresses and a commanding face rugged as a burr oak. She is flanked on her left by the high priestess. The chieftain looks at the young nymph – or, rather, straight through her – before addressing the crowd.

“That which is not freely given by the forest shall be taken only by necessity. This is our sacred maxim: the root of our deepest held spiritual and cultural beliefs. Yet that law, so central to us, has been deliberately broken by the one brought before us today.” She motions to the high priestess. “Bring forth the evidence against the accused.”

One of the priestess’ acolytes steps in from the assembly and hands her mistress an object draped in a shroud. The high priestess kneels before the chieftain, placing the object directly at her feet. She then plucks off the cover. The young nymph feels her heart sink into the pit of her stomach at what she sees. The rest of the village gasps.

Laying in the grass before them are the ragged, half-chewed remains of elk offal still tucked away inside her rucksack.

“Little one, you stand accused of the wanton consumption of another creature’s flesh. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”      

“M-my mom…and dad? Where-”

“You will not see them this night. Answer.”

She feels herself shaking. Her breath comes out in unsteady gasps. “I…I don’t know. The elk was dead. I thought it was…sad just to leave him there to rot. I wanted to give his death some meaning.”

“All death has meaning, child. In an act of reckless vanity, however, you sought to subject its passing to **your** desires. In so doing, you not only tainted the will of the forest, but also endangered your clan. Had it not been discovered, this flesh you smuggled back with you could have brought any number of beasts upon us as we slept.”

The chieftain sighs heavily. The adolescent nymph twists shamefully in her spot.

“The punishment for this offense is absolute. Henceforth, child, you are a stranger to our kind and will find neither food nor shelter among us. You will go out into the world and fight for survival or perish as the Great Mother wills it.”

“W-what?!” An icy pike of fear runs up her chest. “No!”

Tears stream from the little nymph’s eyes as the two guardians take her by the wrists once more.

“No! Please! I’ll be good! I promise I’ll be good from now on! I swear it!”

She thrashes against their hold, but their grip on her remains firm as they begin dragging her away toward the village entrance.

“Mommy! Daddy! Help me!”

As she calls out, a glob of black liquid spatters down onto her chest. Confused, the little nymph looks up to find more of the ooze dribbling down from the eyes of the guardians. The eyes of everyone watching her are black and leaking too.   

“Wait, no, that wasn’t how…” Huntress Wizard clutches her head as the vision fades. She looks about only to find herself lodged from the waist up, upside-down, within a small cavity somewhere deep inside the Lich. All around her is a dark sea of black muck and pulsing Jake-flesh. Only the glow radiating from her protective runes lights the area.

‘ _Psychic residue. Some kind of digestive mechanism to feed on trauma.’_

Shaking off the pall of dysphoria dredged up from her old memories, the nymph kicks her legs until the goo around her bottom-half loosens and she plops down into the cramped pocket. It was a full decade later before she finally discovered that her parents and siblings had been forbidden from participating in the trial. Even before then, she’d already forgiven them; they wouldn’t have been able to change her fate, even if they’d been there begging and groveling for mercy on her behalf. Forgiveness, of course, had done nothing to mollify the hurt she’d carried deep in her heart for her entire life. But even now there was no time to dwell upon it. She had to find Finn and fast.

To minimize the chance of losing his hostage and object of revenge, Huntress Wizard reasons that the Lich would stow Finn in the deepest, most well-protected region of his body. All she needs to do, then, is pass the rest of the way through the necromancer’s system until she naturally arrives at this point as well. Unfortunately, it also means diving back down into the muck to live out another chapter of her awful, awful childhood.

As though there were even any other options left at this point.

_‘C'est la vie…’_

She strikes the pointed heel of her boot against the floor.

The gelatinous membrane keeping her afloat ruptures and begins to liquefy under foot. With the pocket collapsing rapidly around her, the wood nymph leaps forward into a dive. She plunges straight down, transitioning to a powerful breaststroke that takes her deeper into the cold, dark slurry. Again, she feels her mind sinking, slipping back over into the irreparable accumulations of the past.

* * *

“Hot crackers, son!” Joshua flicks the brim of his hat. “How’d you manage to pull this one off?”

He stands with Margaret and their three boys in the middle of the forest, looking upon the dead witch.

“She…she took the ball and attacked me.” Finn motions to the blade still in his hand. “I found this sword, so I hit her with it. And killed her.”

“Looks like you broke her nose and took off a hand, too. You really did a number on this old buzzard, kiddo.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.” Finn hangs his head. “I should’ve gone to you instead of getting the ball on my own.”     

“Heck, I couldn’t be a prouder papi, my boy! This here is a magpie witch, or a ‘hag-pie’ which is a name I just made up. They’re nasty creatures. This one must’ve been a sight cleverer than most to avoid all the traps I’ve laid in these woods over the years.” He beams at Finn. “And you took ‘er down all on your own.”

“Dear, do you think we should be encouraging this? Just look at how bruised my poor baby’s neck is!”

“Nonsense, Margie, the kid’s a natural! Why, I haven’t seen monster slaying talent like this since I was a lad and a good deal older than him besides. Our Finn could be one of the best if we get him started right away.”

“Started? Started how?”

“The same way my Dad started me out: send him off into the world. If he can fight enough monster buns to stake a home, he’ll be a tough galoot in no time.”

Finn takes a step back, shocked. “W-what?”

“We are _not_ sending Finn out all on his own, Joshua!”

“Of course not, dear; I wouldn’t dream of it.” He turns to his sons. “Jake: you go with your brother.”

Jake starts. “But-”

“Butts are for pooping! I want you and Finn packed up and out of the house by tomorrow morning.”

“What about me?”

“Jermaine, either kill something evil or get magical powers. Otherwise, you’re staying put.”

“I never get to go anywhere!” Jermaine huffs and storms off towards the house.

“And you won’t with that attitude!” Joshua calls after him. He fixes his hat and returns his attention to Finn and Jake. “Alright, first thing’s first: you two are gonna help me get rid of this body. You leave a witch’s body without burning it, another spirit might take residence inside. Jake: go pull up some trees for firewood. Finn: help me drag this old bag into the clearing over there.”

“Joshua, I still don’t think this-”

“Don’t back-sass me, Margaret. We both know that this is a tough world and only tough cookies make it out there. If you keep dunking them in mother’s baby milk, they’ll get soft and fall apart.”    

Margaret frowns, obviously critical of her husband’s swift decision. She knows how difficult it is to alter Joshua’s mind once it’s made up, though. “Very well, dear. But we’re going to have a discussion about it over dinner tonight.”

“Good enough for me. Now, put that tinfoil away and grab an ankle, Finn. Lesson one for monster hunting: a dead body is much heavier than it looks.”

Pushing back tears (Dad always yelled at him and his brothers whenever they cried), Finn sticks the blade into his waistband and takes hold of the hag-pie’s leg. Together, he and his father drag the witch’s limp weight along, leaving a thick streak of black blood across the forest floor in their wake. All the while, Finn keeps his eyes trained squarely on his feet.

He does not want to look back.


	15. Chapter 15

Statues.

Countless statues of Minerva in every shape and size rising from an endless white expanse. Some in the distance are easily bigger than mountains, others no bigger than a few centimeters tall. They stretch out around Princess Bubblegum – all a pure ivory white, like their surroundings. None of them have faces. The monarch rises to her feet, looking about to get her bearings within the eerie digital landscape.

From what Finn had told her of his first time meeting her, she’d been anticipating something that resembled the virtual domicile that Doctor Minerva had constructed for herself. This was…much more abstract to say the least. Far larger, too.     

She raises the bottom of her wrist to her face. “Testing, testing. Can you read me, Frieda?”

A little holo-icon of Frieda’s head appears in front of her.

“Loud and clear, Princess.”

“Great. What’s the Lich’s status?”

“Uh, a little hard to tell from where we’re sitting.”

An icon of Simon’s head appears next to Frieda’s as he chimes in. “Still fighting with Marceline and the others, it looks like. Her father seems to have disappeared somewhere, though.”

“Ugh. Typical.”

“How are things looking on your end?”

“Weird. This place is massive, so it’s gonna take me longer to find Minerva’s core personality than I thought. I’ll call in once I find her but keep me posted if anything changes with the Lich.”

“Will do.”

Shutting off the link, Princess Bubblegum looks about. Her position is too over-crowded with statues to get a clear lay of the land. A little ways from her, she spies a series of statues with interlocking hands, each one taller than the one before it, rising like a set of stairs. The figures run up against and eventually melt into a large oval stone which, keeping with the theme of the area, turns out to be a giant polished effigy resembling the right portion of Minerva’s head. Using the space between the hands and arms as finger holds, PB hoists herself onto the tops of their smooth bear caps and scales to the peak of the half-head.

There, she peers out across the virtual vista. Nothing strikes her immediately; most of the landscape is oppressively homogeneous, as though she were stranded in the middle of an immense petrified forest. It’s not until she looks out to the region directly behind her that she notices the statues gradually converging towards a specific point in the distance: a great crystalline dome shaped like Minerva’s hat. It’s the only defining landmark in the entire place as far as she can see. With nothing else to go on and time running short, Princess Bubblegum decides to chance it. She hops over to another series of statues ahead of her, using them as steppingstones to make her way towards her goal. 

It’s rough going.     

Though the statues are clustered tightly enough to allow traversal, their smooth features and frequent shifts in size make for challenging terrain. PB stumbles frequently as she tries to maintain her balance without having to sacrifice too much speed. Eventually, she settles into an uneven lope that sees her further into the android’s bizarre mental palace.

The sculpture garden grows increasingly unnerving as the gum girl penetrates deeper into it.

Statues begin to show signs of deterioration around her: chips, cracks, and fractures accruing rapidly across their increasingly yellow facades. Worse still, they gradually lose their recognizably human proportions, deteriorating into garbled tangles of limbs, torsos, and heads. Many resemble tumbleweeds made from body parts instead of the kindly doctor.

At one instance, PB takes a step only to have the statue crumble away entirely underneath. She falls through with a yelp, barely catching hold of a calf that juts from the wall of legs across from her. The surface of the leg is coarse and digs down into her hand sharply as she’s wrenched to a stop. She grits her teeth and hangs on through the pain. The space below opens up into a 12-foot drop straight into a pile of giant, jagged fingers.

“Princess Bubblegum?!”

Frieda’s icon appears next to her.

“Your vitals just spiked. Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah.” She replies, bringing up her other hand to grasp the rest of the leg. “Just took a bit of a fall. I’m fine.”

“Alright…let us know if you need help.”

Princess Bubblegum swings forward and bicycles her legs in the air until she catches the tip of her toe against one of the nooks in the wall. She pulls as close as she can against it and transfers her hold to another pair of legs further up. With delicate movements, the monarch clambers her way up until she reaches the edge of the lip above. There, she stretches her full length up along the wall, groping around blindly until she finally grabs a handhold. She gives it a testing pull and, finding it solid, mantles back up and over the brink. A grin spreads PB’s lips as she emerges triumphantly from the treacherous pit and crawls to safety. Sprawled out across the stone, panting, PB affords herself a moment to catch her breath, then collects herself.

She starts off again, much more mindful of her step this time around.

There are a few more close calls, though not nearly as perilous, before she finally reaches the side of the crystal dome. She cups her hands against the clear surface and presses her face up to them. Inside, she sees what appears to be picture frames, degrees, and a handful of other domestic decorations suspended in the air. Their orientation suggests the presence of four invisible walls in the shape of a perfect cube. Along its edges are several pieces of furniture set atop a wooden floor with Minerva, herself, puttering about in the middle.

The gum girl raps hard against the side of the thick glass to try to get her attention, but the human pays her no mind. She sees no entrances on any part of the dome. PB sighs in frustration.

“Frieda, can you hear me?”  

The human girl’s icon blinks on.

“What’s up?”

“I found Minerva’s core personality, but there’s a wall blocking me out. Can you hack me up an entrance?”                 

“Let me get a lock on you. One sec.”

The icon’s eyes fill with static.

“There you are. Okay, lets see…boy, that’s a heavy-duty isolation program. I can get you an opening, but it’ll be a small one. Also, I won’t be able to contact you once your inside.”

“I’ll manage.”

“Alright. Here goes.”

A solid rectangle of code appears at the base of the glass dome. It sits with glimmering flashes of binary for a short moment before fading away. Left behind is a long, rectangular shaft that cuts directly through the width of the wall. The entry hole is only a bit larger than a chess board.

“Got it.” There’s a pause on the other end before the young hacker speaks again. Her voice is much more urgent this time. “You need to hurry, PB! It doesn’t look like Marceline and the others are going to hold the Lich’s attention for much longer.”

“I’m *gnnf* aware, Frieda.”

Princess Bubblegum grunts as she assumes a crawling position and squeezes into the tight chute. Normally, it would have been nearly impossible for her to fit through, but fortunately her virtual gum body seemed even more pliable than her real one. She works her way along in a high crawl, feeling her shoulders, waist, and hair all distending as they’re dragged against the slick surfaces about her. Eventually, she reaches the other side and deposits out upon the hardwood floor like a long strand of toothpaste.       

Minerva does not notice her. The AI appears engrossed in pushing an imaginary vacuum cleaner across the little room. Reworking her body back to its normal configurations, Princess Bubblegum stands up and calls out to her.

“Doctor Minerva?”

She starts and glances up. “Oh! Sorry, Ceres. Didn’t hear you come in over the vacuum.” She clicks an imaginary off switch and leans the non-existent cleaner into a standing position. “Just doing a bit of cleaning before Finn and Martin get back from their walk.”

“Minerva, I need-”

“Before you ask, Ceres, I’m not doing a shift at the hospital. You know I’m still on maternity leave. I don’t care how much they want me back at work; my family comes first for right now.”     

“No, listen, Minerva: I’m not one of your colleagues, I’m Princess Bubblegum, remember? I need your help, but you’re trapped inside an isolation program. We need to get you out of here right now.”

Minerva blinks and then waves her off. “Yes, yes, I’m sure the chief of medicine would just _love_ for me to give that presentation to the board, but I can’t. Tell them that they’ll have to wait another month or two. Now, if you excuse me, I have more cleaning to do. We can catch up later for tea.”

At this, Minerva turns away and resumes miming her vacuum about.

_Cram. The program must have some kind of data filter in place to keep her pacified.’_

PB runs a hand over her face in exasperation.

_Okay then, if she can’t recognize a direct inconsistency in her surroundings, maybe I can talk around it in a way that’s compatible with the simulation.’_

She walks up and taps Minerva gently on the shoulder. The AI turns the imaginary vacuum off again.

“I apologize, Minerva. You know how pushy the director can get when we don’t have our star helper around to get things done properly. Would you like to take a short break? We could have that tea and catch up right now, if you’d like.”

Minerva’s face lights up at the invitation. “That sounds lovely, Ceres. Have yourself a seat and I’ll put the kettle on.”

Playing along, Princess Bubblegum takes a spot on a small wooden chair nearest to her. Minerva walks towards the edge of the block and, immediately, the wall unfolds itself into an additional room filled with kitchenware. Oblivious, the AI goes about setting up her imaginary tea pot before returning and taking a seat across from Princess Bubblegum.

“It’ll be ready in just a moment.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, what would you like to talk about? You must have had a few interesting cases in the ER over the past few weeks.”

“Uh, yes, we have. Before we get into that, though, I wanted to ask you something. When are Finn and Martin getting home?”

“Hmm?”

“How long have they been gone for? I was wondering if I’d get a chance to see them before I left.”

“It’s been-” Minerva pauses. She frowns and blinks, confusion shrouding her expression. “You know, it’s so strange…I can’t seem to remember. It feels as though it’s been years since they left. But that can’t be right.”

“That _is_ odd. Are you certain that everything is alright with you, Minerva?” 

“N-no, I’m sure they’re fine. Maybe it’s just a touch of postpartum anxiety; I’ll get over it in a moment. Ah! But there’s the tea. You still take it with two sweeteners, Ceres?”

Minerva stands back up and walks away without waiting for a reply, “Good, good. Just a moment.”

Princess Bubblegum watches from her seat as the agitated AI bustles about her ‘kitchen’ pretending to pour their drinks. She stops at one point, leaning heavily upon one of the counters for a time. She then picks up an imaginary tea tray and returns to the ‘living room’.

“Tea is served.” She announces with a strained voice. Her hands are visibly shaking as she lowers the nonexistent tray onto a coffee table.

“Would you like to go out and look for them?” PB motions to the far wall where she assumes an imaginary door would sit. “They might be over at the park or coming down the road right now. Wouldn’t you like to check? It might put you more at ease.”

“I want to, but…no, I c-can’t…I…” A pained expression overtakes Minerva’s features. She presses both hands to the sides of her head. “It’s…it’s – GAAH!” She cries and sinks to her knees.

Princess Bubblegum bolts to the AI’s side. “Minerva?!”

“There’s something…heavy in my mind. I can hear it, so faintly.” She presses a hand against the floorboards. “Down below.”

Acting quickly, PB takes the chair she’d been sitting on by the legs and rams the backrest against the spot that Minerva indicated. Despite the appearance of polished walnut, the wood is surprisingly brittle and splinters away readily as though rotten. She tosses the chair aside and leans down to brush the pieces away. There, inside a hollowed-out area just below the virtual prison, sits a tape recorder.

The gum girl picks it out from the debris and clicks the play button. A recording of Minerva’s voice comes rolling out sweet and airy over the speaker:

 

_"I see the moon and the moon sees me_

_Down through the leaves of the old oak tree_

_Oh, let the light that shines on me_

_Shine on the one I love._

_Over the mountain, Over the sea,_

_Back where my heart is longing to be._

_Oh, let the light that shines on me_

_Shine on the one I love._

_I hear the lark; the lark hears me,_

_Singing from the leaves of the old oak tree._

_Oh, let the lark that sings to me_

_Sing to the one I love._

_Over the mountains, over the sea,_

_back where my heart is longing to be._

_Oh, let the lark that sings to me_

_Sing to the one I love._

 

_I kiss a rose; the rose kisses me,_

_Fragrant as only a rose can be._

_Please let the Rose that comforts me_

_Comfort the one I love._

_Over the mountains, over the sea,_

_back where my heart is longing to be._

_Oh, let the rose that comforts me_

_Comfort the one I love."_

 

As the lullaby ends, Minerva reaches a hand around Princess Bubblegum’s and clicks the stop button. She’s no longer holding her head in pain.

“I remember. Finn, Martin, my people. Where am I Princess Bubblegum?”

“An isolation program. Leader Malloy trapped you inside of it and I’m here to get you out.”

“Malloy…he did this? Why?”

“We don’t have time to go into his reasonings right now. Malloy unleashed an incredibly dangerous entity onto Ooo and I need your aid to defeat it before it kills all of us, including your son.”

Hearing this, Minerva nods soberly and rises back to her full height. “How can I help?”

“First, we need to get you back to your full operating capacity. Can you access your servers in Founders Island?”

“I’ll need to override this barrier first. Let me try.”

She approaches the nearest wall. It folds back before her as she walks up to the side of the crystal dome. Minerva places both hands against it and closes her eyes. Thin filaments of code wind out from her fingertips across the surface, like vines threading across the groves of old brickwork. She grunts in concentration. A pulse of bright blue energy runs out across the strands and the dome immediately shatters before them. The program dissipates into nothing, leaving Minerva and Princess Bubblegum standing together amid the great virtual expanse of statues.

“Oh, I apologize; my mind is in such a state right now. Let me fix that.”

She snaps her fingers and the endless sea of effigies wipes away into an empty white void.

“Much better. Now, let’s see if I can reestablish my primary link. This might take a few moments.”

Minerva’s eyes grow wide and fill with static.

Frieda’s icon appears next to Princess Bubblegum.

“Princess! Finally! I’ve been trying to call you!”

“What is it, Frieda?”

“The Lich! He’s taken Simon! I couldn’t stop him; I’m sorry!”

“Oh, Glob! Can you get me a visual?”

“Yes, hold on.”

Frieda’s icon opens its mouth and a large screen appears inside of it. There’s a burst of static before an image finally swims into focus. It shows Simon suspended in the air, drifting high over Humantown. Marceline, Flame Princess, Jake, and Lady Rainicorn are all grabbing onto him, desperately trying to steer him away from the Lich’s outstretched hand.

“Have you gotten Minerva back online?”

“Yes, I have, but it’ll take a few seconds to get her to connect with her main servers.” 

“Princess, Simon doesn’t have a few seconds! He needs help now!”

PB stares at the footage, utterly helpless as she watchers her friend dragged away. “I-I don’t know! I can’t do anything!” She turns to the AI next to her. “Please, Minerva! We need you!”

* * *

The young nymph shivers as she huddles along the edge of the cave. She’d hoped that the weather would hold for just a little while longer – at least long enough for her to finish collecting kindling for her nighttime campfire – but no such luck. A wall of driving rain clatters out upon the dark forest across from her. The curtain is so thick that she might as well be looking out from behind a waterfall.

_‘At least it’s not raining knives.’_

A knife storm wouldn’t have left her as cold, though. Her clothes (not so much a cohesive outfit as it was a grimy assortment of rodent pelts and old strips of cloth that she’d pieced together over the last few weeks) were soaked completely through. Surrendering to her circumstances, the little forest girl shrugs off her pack and begins setting out her supplies: a few knives she’d scavenged off a skeleton, pieces of flint, some dried meat, a small log, more cloth (bandages), a ragged tarp, and some old-world books. She notes that others had been in the cave before her as she lays everything out along the dusty floor. Much of it was littered with droppings of rats, jackrabbits, and other vermin. A few scatterings of bone indicate that it might’ve recently housed a pack of wolves or some other predator.

A fire would ward off any unwanted visitors from returning as she slept.

She gathers up a few dry pieces of tender along with some of the more substantive pieces of scat and collects it all into a small pile around her log a little further into the cave. She then tears out a page from one of the books, crumples it, and tucks it into the bottom of her makeshift hearth. With everything prepared, she brings out her knife and a piece of flint, carefully strikes the former over the latter. Sparks jump out across the paper and quickly spread out in large smoldering holes. Blowing delicately, the nymph pushes the burning paper into the tender and smiles as the twigs blossom into a bright orange rose of heat. She tears out a few more pages from the book and adds them in for an extra burst of fuel.

The chill in her bones gradually recedes as she crouches near it. She watches as one of the pieces of paper below starts to blacken and curl inward. A fragment of a sentence is still legible upon its edge: “-he heart rambles onwar-”. Some of the elders knew old hew-man speak; most of her kin were taught it once they came of age. She knows the noises that the symbols represent, but rarely their combined meanings.

The nymph tries sounding the script out aloud. “He-art ra…ra.” But the words burn away too quickly for her to read it in full. “Art Ra. Artra.” The newly formed word sits nicely on her tongue. She rolls it around a few more times to amuse herself, watching shadows tremble upon the cragged cave wall for a time. A rumble starts up from her stomach. She gives it a soothing rub, picks out a dried piece of rabbit meat from her pack, and bites into it. She’d been lucky enough to happen upon the jack while he was busy drinking from a stream. Right before he scampered off, she had pegged him with a stone.

As she takes another bite, another low rumble passes through the cavern. This time, it’s not her stomach nor the sound of thunder. No, the reverberations come from deeper within the cave itself. They grow closer, accompanied by the shuffle of heavy limbs. Terrified, the little nymph grabs her longest knife and scampers around to the other side of her campfire, putting it between her and the unknown thing approaching her. She ducks into a half-crouch, eyes riveted to the veil of shadow that her pitiful hearth cannot hope to pierce.

The eyes come first, yellow and glinting as they bore straight through the gloom. A gangly foreleg reaches out next, capped with three long claws that dig into the dirt as the rest of its bulk drags into view. A tall, wolfish beast with a thick, bristly coat looms before her. Three goat horns jut out from the side of its head, framing a long alligator-like snout spiked with a pair of tusks. Thick, jagged fangs line its powerful-looking jaws. It’s nose twitches as it catches her scent and its lip snags upward into a snarling growl.

Quickly, the little nymph throws herself out past the edge of the cave just as the beast’s other foreleg comes hurtling out from the dark, obliterating her campfire in a single swipe. The rain batters down atop her, soaking her through in an instant. She scrabbles up from her hands and knees and takes off at full tilt back into the forest with the knife still in hand. With any luck, the beast might be trying to scare her away from its territory instead of hunting her for food.

She glances back over her shoulder only to feel fresh waves of panic and horror crash against her heart at what she finds. The beast comes clawing straight into the tree line, right after her.

_‘DEFINITELY WANTS TO EAT ME!’_

The little nymph knows that trying to outrun a beast is pointless. She is either going to fight or die. She spins around, holding the knife out again. Silently, she starts to say her goodbyes, wishing love to her family (despite their betrayal) and the Great Mother.

_‘May I find them all again upon the next turn.’_

The beast’s dreadful form comes bounding in through the misty white sheets of rain. It slows to a halt a few feet in front of her, perhaps wary that its prey has taken up a defensive posture. It crouches low, letting out another growl as it stalks forward at a slight angle. The young nymph squeezes the hilt of her knife tightly. She can’t even tell if there are tears in her eyes from all the rain.

Another step and the beast charges. The nymph lets out a furious, desperate cry and leaps out at her pursuer, blindly plunging the knife as deep as she can somewhere in its hide. The beast lets out a pained howl and she feels something sharp dash her hard across the face. The force of the strike flings her back, landing her in a painful sprawl amid the scrub and mud.

Groaning, she rolls over and forces one eye open. Blood courses down the tip of her nose and the point of her chin, mixing freely with the rainwater. The nymph tries to raise herself up again, but nausea and pain overwhelm her. She slumps back into the mud and watches in resigned silence as the beast limps toward her, maw opened wide. Hopefully, it’d tear out her throat first: end her suffering quickly.

The flesh rending bite doesn’t come, though.

Instead, she feels something pick her gently up off the ground from behind. Her vision swims before she can see who it is. There is a bright burst of light and her consciousness fades.

* * *

Frieda’s gaze is torn from Susan as Princess Bubblegum’s voice crackles over her wrist projector.

“Testing, testing. Can you read me, Frieda?”

She holds the speaker up to her mouth. “Loud and clear, Princess.”

“Great. What’s the Lich’s status?”

The human girl stands up from her half-crouched position next to BMO and looks out into the night. She can pick out Flame Princess and the Lich easily enough, but the others are much harder to pinpoint in the dark of the night. She thinks she can see Marceline taking off from the ground and heading towards the Lich.

“Uh, a little hard to tell from where we’re sitting.”

Simon walks over and leans in next to her.

“Still fighting with Marceline and the others, it looks like. Her father seems to have disappeared somewhere, though.”

“Ugh. Typical.”

“How are things looking on your end?”

“Weird. This place is massive, so it’s gonna take me longer to find Minerva’s core personality than I thought. I’ll call in once I find her but keep me posted if anything changes with the Lich.”

“Will do.”

The audio link cuts off and Frieda returns to dividing her attention between BMO’s readouts and Susan. The ex-seeker is still unconscious. She feels a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, it’ll be alright.” Simon speaks in a comforting tone. “Susan has gotten through a lot worse.”

She smiles and squeezes his hand in return. “Thanks, Simon.”

“No problem.”

“Susan told me about you. You’re really from over a thousand years ago?”

“That’s right.”

“You know, I’ve read a lot of what Founder’s Island had on pre-war human history. I was never sure how accurate the records were, though. The censorship department probably cleaned most of the unflattering parts up.”

“Yes?”

“Well, since we’re stuck waiting here, can you tell me about humans before the war? What was it really – and I mean _really_ – like during those times?”

Simon grows quiet and adjusts his glasses.

“When Marceline and I weren’t busy just trying to survive, I would give her lessons every once in a while. She was a little girl in a ruined world, so I tried to keep the things I taught her engaging and fun. I’d tell her all about interesting scientific facts, different parts of the world, bits of art and music that I’d enjoyed from way back when. Even some basic math here and there, though she hated doing anything beyond basic algebra.”

He chuckles at the memory.

“It felt good to teach her those things, Frieda. It was like I was passing on the little remnants of what was good and pleasant in humanity. And, I assure you, there _were_ many things that were good. Most of them were the product of decent people just living their lives with love in their hearts for friends and family. But…I never could bring myself to tell her about the other side, the ugly parts hidden behind so many of those nice things.”

“What ugly parts?”

“Suffering on an unimaginable scale: war, genocide, billions subsisting in slavery or crushing poverty. The human civilization of the past was built upon vastly imbalanced power structures. While many sought out ways to correct or overthrow these systems, their beneficiaries bitterly sought to consolidate their regimes as violently as possible. Eventually, it all culminated in the great Mushroom War. After that, the good and best in humanity was buried in the same mass grave alongside humanity’s bad and worst. Or nearly so, it would seem.”  

“Wow…”

“Mm. Not a pretty picture, is it? Leader Malloy seemed intent on carrying out the tradition of his forebearers. He met his end in much of the same way, too: burnt to ashes by what his selfishness unleashed.” He looks out, watching with worry as Marceline tangles with the Lich once more, trying with Lady to free Jake from his claws. “And here we are, again: stuck in the fallout of another madman’s shortsighted power grab.”

Frieda nods and takes a glance at the readout of Princess Bubblegum’s vital signs on BMO’s screen. “Do you ever wish it’d turned out differently for us humans?”

“You mean for the great Mushroom War to never have happened? If it meant sparing all those innocent lives lost, then, yes. Yes, I do. That said, I love the world that arose in its place. I think it’s much better in many ways.”

“Oh?”

“A few of the larger states like the Candy Kingdom share some of the old world’s problems, but on such a small scale that it’s not even comparable. Most of Ooo’s major leaders also actually seem interested in fixing these problems in order to serve their people’s interests instead of themselves. And most people are able to live on their own terms, if they wish. All things considered, I think Ooo today far outstrips the past I knew, even with the inherent chaos that magic throws into the mix.”

Simon pauses and looks to the young girl. “Apologies if my take on humanity’s past is discouraging.”

“No, no. It’s a relief to finally get a glimpse at the truth. I was always a skeptic, but ever since I started traveling across Ooo with Susan, I’ve been trying to separate myself from all the preconceptions that Founder’s Island drilled into me. It’s been enlightening to discover how completely detached everything is from human memory; really puts things into perspective.” 

A loud series of beeps interrupts Frieda before she can continue. She looks at BMO’s readout and brings her wrist projector to her mouth. “Princess Bubblegum?! Your vitals just spiked. Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah.” The princess replies, breathily. “Just took a bit of a fall. I’m fine.”

“Alright…let us know if you need help.”

The link goes off and the two humans are quiet again. The sound of the battle in the distance fills the air between them. After a little bit, Simon speaks up again.

“As much as I love this world, I can’t imagine this is what you or any of your people wanted, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you and the other humans set out from Founder’s Island. I doubt you or they wanted to be drawn into this mess with the Lich and Malloy. I hate that Susan got hurt because of it. I hate that you might get hurt, too.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I mean, sure, it’s not great – I’d rather be cruising around Slime Kingdom or exploring somewhere with Susan – but this is the sort of stuff we need to confront. After all the wonderful things I’ve seen, I don’t want to go scurrying off like a roach at the first sign of trouble. It might mean getting hurt, and that’s okay. I want to help protect this world and the good, decent people in it, too.”    

Simon nods. “We could’ve used a lot more people with your courage back before the war, Frieda. If you’d like, I can teach you more about human history once this is over. There’s still a lot of nuance outside of my general impressions of the past that we could get into.”

“That’d be really cool, Simon. Thanks.”  

Sitting a little closer together, now, the pair continue their hushed discussion on humans for a while longer until the speaker in Frieda’s wrist picks up again.

“Frieda, can you hear me?”  

“What’s up?”

“I found Minerva’s core personality, but there’s a wall blocking me out. Can you hack me up an entrance?”                 

“Let me get a lock on you. One sec.”

Frieda opens up a few menus on her wrist projector and types rapidly across the screen. After a moment, a wall of code appears before her. One portion is flashing pink and another large section is flashing red.

“There you are. Okay, let’s see…boy, that’s a heavy-duty isolation program. I can get you an opening, but it’ll be a small one. Also, I won’t be able to contact you once your inside.”

“I’ll manage.”

“Alright. Here goes.”

Fingers dancing across her holographic keyboard, Frieda executes some computational sleight of hand and the flashing red bit of code turns a solid yellow. 

“Got it.”

Frieda and Simon’s ears perk at the sound of an explosion in the distance. Looking out, the two humans spot The Lich with all six of his arms extended as a wave of green energy rings outward. Marceline and the others are huddled around Lady Rainicorn as the attack lashes out at them.

“Marcy!” Simon clutches a hand over his mouth in worry. 

“You need to hurry, PB! It doesn’t look like Marceline and the others are going to hold the Lich’s attention for much longer.”

“I’m *gnnf* aware, Frieda.”

The line cuts out.

Frieda sighs. “I guess all we can do now is wait. Huh, Simon?”

“Hkk!”

“…Simon?”

Glancing up at her fellow human, terror breaks across Frieda’s face as she sees a green glow creeping down from the top of Simon’s head towards his legs. He mimes incoherently at her as she struggles to speak. He starts to float up into the air.

“Simon!”

Frieda runs to his side, grabs hold of his ankles, and pulls down as hard as she can in a desperate attempt to keep her friend grounded. The pale green magic continues to creep downward, taking the bookish man higher. He starts to drift away with Frieda dragging behind him, heels dug as hard as they can into the tile floor. 

“What do I do?!”

Simon shakes his head mutely as Frieda’s toes reach the edge of the tower. The green magic runs down his legs and licks up against her fingers. It feels like trying to hold onto a red-hot stovetop. Despite herself, she instinctively releases him as the pain erupts through her hands.

“GAAAH! Simon!”

Before she can plummet down the side of the tower, a large hand reaches out from behind and hauls the young ex-experimenter back from the brink. 

* * *

Finn notices that something is up when Jake’s nose starts to twitch. At first, he thinks that his older brother is simply taking a moment to enjoy the aromas rising from their small campfire. Even without a hypersensitive pair of nostrils, Finn sympathizes. He was already salivating in anticipation over the savory blend of beans, burnt bacon fat, and birchwood smoke calling out to him as their breakfast cooks. Moreover, the pleasant odor serves to dull the edge of fatigue still clinging against him.

It’d been a harsh few weeks fending for themselves as they toured across some of Ooo’s relatively less hostile territories in search of a place to call their own. The journey had been fraught with hard-fought battles against some of the more common monster subspecies – goblins, trolls, bugbears, and the like – that seemed to litter the mountains and forests outside their parents’ house. Thanks in no small part to Jake’s magical powers and his own remarkable aptitude for knocking heads (surprising even to himself), the duo had made it all the way to the border of the grasslands in one piece. Even so, they’d yet to find a single suitable dwelling place. And miles of hiking, along with the constant need to sleep in fitful shifts had taken a gradual, but inevitable toll on the two brothers.

It’s only when Jake takes another deep inhale through his nose, that Finn decides to broach it:

“What’s up?”

“Something smells weird.”

He points it out without urgency, as one might make idle mention of the day’s weather.

“Wasn’t me. And I dug the hole way out before we went to bed.”

“No, dude, it’s not _that_. It smells sorta like old, damp leaves. Like mildew, except a lot stronger. More bitter, too.”

“Probably something further inside the woods. There’s always trees and junk rotting out here.”

“I guess so. If it were a tree, though, I think I would’ve noticed it while we were setting up camp.”

“Huh. Well, I bet the air will be fresher once we get further into the grasslands. You said a bunch more peeps live out here?”

“Yeah, the map Dad gave us shows that there’s a bunch of kingdoms around here. The closest is the Candy Kingdom, just a few miles East. I’m thinkin’ we can head over and pick up some more supplies there. Maybe sleep on some real beds, if we can find a vacant motel room for super cheap.”

“Sounds good. It feels like forever since I’ve had any sweets.”

“Heh, yeah, you’re all about sug-”

It’s only by the fact Jake had mentioned something being off that Finn is able to react quickly enough as a long needle strikes the side of his brother’s arm. He rolls to the side just as another needle skewers the dirt where his butt had been parked a second prior. Acting on pure reflex, he grabs his sword and a half-flaming log next to him. He then chucks the piece of wood hard towards the location where the projectile originated from.

There’s a crash and a loud shriek as a skeleton emerges from behind the tree line holding more needles. A fire is spreading rapidly over the oily hides draped across its rusted-out armor. The undead warrior goes up quickly as dozens of his brethren emerge into the clearing.

“Undead marauders! Jake, we need to fight!”

“Rrrgh!” Jake struggles, but his limbs don’t move. “I can’t! That dart thing must’ve had some kind of paralyzing poison on it!”

As a team, it usually was no problem for them to take on much larger groups of enemies together. On his own, though, Finn isn’t so certain of himself; he’d never fought so many monsters at once before.

“Cram! Okay, hold on!” 

Finn picks Jake up and hurriedly stuffs him inside his pack before taking off. One of the skeletons directly in his path takes a swing at him with an axe, but the young adventurer ducks through the sweep and breaks past their line before the rest can move to box him in. Now, sprinting straight into the grasslands, he hears a choking cry as one of the undead marauders, much larger and with heavier armor than the others, waves a tattered banner through the air. It points at him and shrieks again, as if issuing a command for the others to pursue. With a mass clatter of rusty armor and rattling bone, the horde obeys. A few of their ranks throw out harpoons and spears, many landing only a few inches away from Finn. He grimaces.

There’s no way he can fight them all on his own. Their only hope, at this point, is to make it to the gates of the Candy Kingdom.

“Hoof it, Bro! They’re gaining!”

Taking a glance over his shoulder, Finn can see that Jake is right; a couple of the undead are outpacing the rest and following hot on his heels. Another spear lands next to him and Finn grabs it. He then twirls about mid-run and hurls it at the skeleton closest to him. It lands true and pegs his target, straight through its sunken chest. The hit doesn’t destroy the marauder, but it does throw it off balance. It stumbles and collides into the second skeleton behind him. Both fall to pieces as more come rushing over them, seemingly uncaring as the skulls of their allies are crushed underfoot.

Finn continues running for all he’s worth, occasionally grabbing a spear or harpoon thrown his way and returning it in kind. Any skeleton that he’s lucky enough to take out, though, does little to diminish their numbers. Worse yet, he can feel himself wearing out, a trait not shared by his boney pursuers. Desperate to put some distance between him and the shambling horde, Finn scrambles up a steep ridge, hoping that the uneven terrain and loose dirt might bog them down.

It works for the most part. Skeletons tended to be less coordinated then the living, so some start to slip and fall into each other as they try to make their way up after him. Others, however, simply use their slower brethren as climbing holds. As Finn reaches the crest, he finds the welcome sight of the Candy Kingdom rising in the distance.

“Just a little more, Jake, and we’ll be home free.”

“Look out, Finn!”

From below, one of the skeletons further up on the slope than the others flings a throwing knife at the human boy. The serrated blade twirls through the air and bites into the flesh of Finn’s left thigh.

Finn lets out a shout of pain as he pitches forward. He rolls raggedly down the side of the hill, battering against rocks and shrubs that leave a trail of cuts, scrapes, and bruises down his entire body by the time he reaches the bottom. Jake, having tumbled out of his brother’s pack during their fall, lies next to him in a similar state. They moan out pitifully.

“Are y-you okay, Jake?”

“Not, ugh, really.”

“Just…just hang on. I got you.”

Using his sword as a crutch, Finn climbs back to his feet and limps over to Jake. Pain hammers up his leg, but he ignores it. He leans down, hefts Jake up, and puts him back in his pack. He glances over his shoulder and sees the first of the undead marauders arriving at the top of the ridge. Immediately, they begin to race down the side, clacking and shrieking as they come.

“Oh spit!”

Finn tries to run for the Candy Kingdom, but barely manages a lopsided hobble.

“Leave me, Finn! Save yourself!”

“No way, dude! I’m saving you or we’re both going to die.”

“Finn! I love you, but that’s hecka dumb! I’m the big brother and it’s my job to protect you. Get the flip out of here!”

“NEVER!”

The skeletons are already at the bottom and coming up fast. Finn forces himself into a short sprint, but pain surges as the knife saws into his leg muscle. He stumbles and falls, sending Jake tumbling out ahead of him once again. Groaning, Finn crawls over to Jake’s side. He’s unconscious.

“…Sorry, Jake. I couldn’t save us. I love you.”

He leans down and plants a kiss on his brother’s head. Finn then turns and props himself up into an agonizing crouch, planting himself firmly between Jake and the undead hoard bearing down upon them. He levels his sword.

Before the first skeleton can reach him, a pink beam of energy lances down and sweeps across the field, incinerating any undead caught in its path.

“Hey!” Someone shouts from above them. “I guess you guys didn’t learn anything the last time I wrecked the whole ding dang lot of you up. Well, here’s a reminder:”

Another beam carves through the marauders, taking out their leader and several more skeletons along with it.

“Stay the **heck** out of my territory!”      

The remaining undead drop their weapons and flee back towards the border of the grasslands. As they retreat, more beams fire down upon them, leaving a dozen or so smoking piles of ash spread across the landscape. Finn, still staring at the retreating forms in disbelief, finally lowers his blade and looks up behind him. Suspended overhead is a giant white swan. Its wings beat in long, powerful strokes as it descends before them. As soon as it lands, Finn notices a pink girl riding atop it. She gives the large bird a gentle caress along its slender neck before dismounting by sliding down one of its wings. The girl runs up to them.

“Glob, you’re both hurt! Here, let me help you.”

“T-Thank you…” Finn stammers as he takes her hand. She pulls his arm over her shoulder, lending him support with her own weight. “Jake needs help, too. He’s unconscious.”

“Of course, let me just set you down on Swan and I’ll get him. Jake it was, right?”

“Yeah.”

“My name is Princess Bubblegum.” She says as she helps Finn climb gently up onto Swan’s back. “I’m the ruler of the Candy Kingdom. What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m Finn the Human. Most everyone calls me Finn.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Finn. I apologize it’s under such terrible circumstances. Those undead screwbs have been making incursions along my borders for months now.”

She goes over to Jake’s unconscious form and lugs him back over.

“They’re always on the prowl for stragglers.” She explains, hefting the unconscious dog up into the spot in front of Finn. “In fact, they nearly caught some of my candy citizens a few days ago, so I set up some monitoring devices in the area. You’re extremely lucky that one of them happened to pick you guys up.”

“I, just…thank you so much, Princess. For real. I thought it was the end for us back there.”

She climbs up and straddles the base of her swan’s neck. “You’re welcome but try to save your strength, Finn. I’ll have you and Jake in the Candy Kingdom’s infirmary right away. My doctors will get you fixed up.”

With a drowsy nod, Finn leans forward, practically sinking into the plush feathers around him as the swan lifts into the air. He wraps his arm protectively around Jake and promptly passes out. Right before he does, though, he thinks he hears a light chord piping in from a place he can’t quite pinpoint.

It’s a faint, flute-like descent.

* * *

_'I could pluck Finn and the Huntress out with a thought, Marceline. Don’t you want to save your friends?’_

_‘What I want is for you to shut the sliz up!’_

The Vampire King’s constant entreaties at the back of her head were really starting to throw off the precision of her swings. The effect was even more pronounced, now that they accompanied Jake’s incessant screams. Marceline tries to tune it all out as she hacks into the Lich’s hand once more, her axe blade narrowly missing the top of her yellow friend’s head. The cut sends out a spray of green sparks, pelting her across the face. She hisses in pain.

”조심해!”

“AHHH!” Jake shrieks as he struggles inside the Lich’s grip. “LADY SAYS CAREFUL, MARCELINE!”

“Yeah! I flippin’ know! Quit wriggling around!”

From below, Flame Princess musters a cluster of small fire bolts. She shoots up and releases them, burning away more of the fibrous limbs swarming along the Lich’s arm. They instantly reconnect themselves.

“GAH!” She yells out in weary frustration. “How much longer do we have to keep fighting him!? We’re not even doing anything anymore!”

As the Lich makes a grab at FP, Lady weaves her way in and wraps her arms around her husboyfriend. Together, they phase back out of his grasp and Jake sends another giant fist into the necromancer’s face. At this point, the Lich is so unglobly huge that the strike appears to barely affect him.

“I don’t know, but we have to keep it up.” Jake says. “We just _have_ to.”

“Look out!” Flame Princess cries.

The Lich sharply extends all six of his arms, conjuring a wide halo of crackling green energy. All around, the air goes electric with the thick hum of a building necrotic charge. The charge rapidly culminates in an explosion that discharges a wailing tide of green, soul-like apparitions. Lady moves swiftly. She only just manages to slip in amongst her friends and wrap herself in a protective loop around them before the devastating attack comes rolling in. It phases through, but the tail-end of the magical shockwave tosses all four of them out across the air. Finding his adversaries still unharmed, the Lich straightens and laughs madly as one last arm reaches up from the multiverse below and attaches itself to the center of his back. 

“Then you shall bear witness to it!” He booms. “The wheel turns and the ocean springs anew.”

He extends one of his six arms towards the tower. A small pale-green light appears in the distance. It hangs for a brief moment and then comes floating forward. Closer and closer, until the four friends’ eyes widen in collective panic at what they find: Simon Petrikov suspended in magic, floating head-first toward the Lich’s outstretched hand. Just as Leader Malloy did, before he met his grisly fate.   

“ **SIMON!** ” Marceline shouts.

She rips through the air and arrives at her adopted father’s side in an instant. Without pause, the vampire girl reaches out, grabs tightly around his ankles, and pulls. The green magic surrounding him burns. It burns as though she stuck her hands into a suntanning station, but she still holds on with all her might.

“I. WON’T. LOSE. YOU!”

Jake, Lady, and Flame Princess dart to her side, each grabbing hold of one another in a line and pulling to help keep the vampire girl anchored. Despite their combined effort, Simon continues to slip ever closer toward the Lich. Tears flow freely down Marceline’s face as she looks helplessly down into Simon’s eyes. She finds no intimation of panic in their depths: only a sorrowful resolve. He shakes his head at her slowly. Unflinchingly.

“No! No! NO!”  

_‘You are out of time, Marceline! Let me in NOW!’_

“GRRRGH! Okay! Just save Simon already!”

A dark chuckle runs through her head. _‘Good.’_

Smoke pours out from between Marceline’s fangs as her eyes turn bright red. The lion-like features in her face become more pronounced. She abruptly releases Simon and lifts her hands – nearly charred to the bone at this point – up toward him. A fierce pulse of psychogenic energy erupts out around her, pushing her friends back, while her telekinetic grip locks around the human. It wrenches him to a complete standstill. The Lich looks upon the vampire queen with no small amount of surprise as the pair fall into a mighty tug-of-war of eldritch powers. Thin blue veins of ionized energy arc between the two clashing, titanic forces. For a time, both appear evenly matched, but then the Lich starts smiling again.

“Much too late, Daughter of Abadeer.” The Lich calls out. “The wish of the mad woman was just the same: power to protect this mortal, above all else. What happens, then, if his safety comes into question?”

The Lich clenches his hand into a fist and, from within Simon’s magic encasement, a drop of green fire drips down onto his cheek. He flinches in pain as it singes him. And, instantly, like a great devouring maw, another giant portal opens within the night sky.

Emerging from deep within the infinite, chaotic fringe that hems all realities, a vast crimson figure descends upon the land of Ooo once more.


	16. Chapter 16

Frieda tumbles back into the lab, rolling over the hard floor until she comes to a stop a short way from where NEPTR, BMO, and Princess Bubblegum lie. She rubs her head and looks back up to see Susan Strong on her hands and knees looking back at her.

“Susan! You’re okay! And you saved me!”

“Frieda, what happened to Simon? Why is the Lich so big now?” She winces and clutches at her head. “Grod, every time I’m out, things are worse than before.”

“It’s bad Susie. Real, real bad. We have to do something!”

“What?”

“I gotta call Princess Bubblegum. She’s working on something that can stop all this.”

She brings up her wrist projector and attempts to hail the candy monarch. Her screen responds with an angry electronic buzz as a red ‘X’ flashes across it. She tries again, only to receive the same response. Frieda slams her fist against the floor in frustration.

“JAM IT!” 

Susan stands up and walks over to Frieda’s side. She sits down and wraps her in a brawny hug.

“Are we going to be okay, Fri?”

“I…” Frieda pauses, trying to silence the quaver in her voice before continuing. She’s not successful. If anything, it only forces the warm tears from the corners of her eyes as she buries her head down against her girlfriend’s bicep. “I don’t know, Suze. I really don’t.”

Another moment, and Frieda climbs up Susan’s arms. She takes a seat on the ex-seeker’s shoulders and looks off to the green glint signifying Simon’s position. The pale green flames, combined with Flame Princess’ dark blue, provides just enough light to give her a twinkling glimpse of them together – Marceline, FP, Jake, and Lady – all doing their best to delay the human’s advance towards the Lich. A feeling of desperation balloons in the pit of her stomach. It reminds her of when Susan wrecked her escape pod all those years ago: something precious is being destroyed right in front of her, but she is incapable of stopping it. The only difference, this time, is that Susan is holding her a different way.

As she moves to wipe the tears from her face, she hears a note jingle from her wrist projector. Quickly, she brings the holoscreen into view. A bright green circle appears in place of a red ‘X’. She mashes the call button as fast as she can.   

“Princess!” She blurts into the microphone. “Finally! I’ve been trying to call you!”

“What is it, Frieda?”

“The Lich! He’s taken Simon! I couldn’t stop him; I’m sorry!”

“Oh, Glob! Can you get me a visual?”

“Yes, hold on.”

Frieda shifts about atop Susan’s shoulders and aligns her screen with the green gleam of Simon’s magical shell. She zooms in on her struggling friends and taps the live feed function.

“Have you gotten Minerva back online?”

“Yes, I have, but it’ll take a few seconds to get her to connect with her main servers.” 

“Princess, Simon doesn’t have a few seconds! He needs help now!”

“I-I don’t know! I can’t do anything!”

“GROD!” Frieda curses as she cuts the call. 

“Calm down, Frieda.”

“How?! Simon’s about to be burnt alive and we can’t help him!”

“I don’t think he is. Look.”

Frieda brings up her wrist monitor’s camera screen and zooms back in on Simon. Somehow, Marceline has managed to bring the human to a complete standstill without even touching him. She’s yelling something at the Lich (or maybe just shouting in effort), but she can’t make it out from this distance. The Lich speaks something in return and clenches his fingers together. Then, all at once, a new portal bores its way into reality high above them.

Something big and red crosses over from the other side.

“W-what is that?”

“Golb. Or, at least, it used to be.”

Frieda and Susan look behind them. There, they find Peppermint Butler leaning up against the entryway, breathing heavily with the top of his head cracked open.

“Hoo.” He wipes his brow. “Glob, that was a lot of stairs to climb.”

 “You’re that guy who hangs around Princess Bubblegum…Peppermint Butler, right?”

“At your service, Miss Strong and Miss Frieda. Ah, there you are, Princess.” He crosses the room and kneels down beside the candy monarch’s prone form. A look of concern crosses his face as he picks up her limp hand. “What is the Princess doing? Is she injured?”

“Oh, no, she’s doing a virtual dive into Minerva’s OS to see if she can get her back online. It’s part of her plan to stop the Lich.”

“Thank goodness.” Peppermint Butler sighs in relief. He then gently crosses Princess Bubblegum’s arms over her chest and stands back up.

“What is that Golb thing doing here?” Susan asks.

“I can’t say for certain.” He replies, joining the two girls along the edge of the tower. “I have a gut feeling that we’re about to find out, though.”

The three sit together, unable to do anything but stare at the two half-deities while the next scene unfolds before them. Above her, Susan can feel Frieda’s grip tighten in fear around her head as they watch.

* * *

'Betty?! _Betty! I’m here! PLEASE!’_

Simon stares up, unable to move or even call out as his lost love looms high above him. He tries. He tries with everything he has to scream, shout, grasp out at her – anything at all – but his body cruelly refuses to heed his command. All he can do is lie there and watch. Tears fall down the side of his cheeks. He has neither the need nor ability to hide them from her.

Outside of the human’s magical shell, Marceline, Flame Princess, Jake, and Lady all stare up in open-mouthed astonishment. The Lich, however, allows no such concession for his plans. With a gesture, a current of energy surges from his hand. It jumps to the magical sheath keeping Simon aloft and travels onward, as though carried along a conduit, straight into Marceline. The vampire girl shouts in surprise as the spell discharges against her, breaking her telekinetic hold and blowing her back. With nothing left to keep him in place, Simon lets out a cry as he plummets toward the ground.

“S̶͍̽i̷̡̛m̵̻̀o̸͎͝n̷͈̾!”           

The red giant plunges downward, her body melting and effervescing through space (and possibly through multiple dimensions) until she appears already fully formed right below him. She catches his tiny form in her outstretched hand and lowers him to her face. Her four eyes are wide as they focus in on him.

“Betty?” Simon huffs, catching his breath. Shakily, he stands up in the palm of her hand. “You…you came back?”

“H̸a̵d̷ ̵t̴o̷,̵ ̴S̴i̷m̵o̴n̴.̷ ̵H̸a̶v̴e̸ ̴t̵o̷ ̷k̴e̴e̵p̶ ̵y̴o̶u̸̬͒ͅ ̸̦͓̋̀s̷͚͓̏̊ȧ̷̭͕͠f̷͙͔́͗ë̴͉̱́͋.̷͖̰̒̓”

“Oh, Betty…I thought I lost you forever.”

Simon reaches up and gently strokes his love’s cheek (what little bit of it he can reach) and a portion of it crumbles away against his touch. He recoils.

“Betty! What’s wrong?”

“F̸a̶l̵l̸i̴n̵g̷ ̸a̷p̸a̴r̷t̵.̶ ̵I̷'̶m̷ ̷s̶o̴r̵r̸y̴,̶ ̵I̴'̴v̷e̷ ̶t̸r̵i̴e̴d̶ ̵t̴o̶ ̴h̷o̶l̶d̴ ̶i̴t̸ ̷t̸o̴g̸e̶t̵h̸e̸r̵.̴ ̷C̸o̷m̴i̴n̴g̸ ̶h̴e̵r̷e̴ ̸d̷i̴d̸n̵'̷t̵ ̶h̶e̸l̸p̸.̸”

The small cleft Simon’s touch had made in her façade continues to grow, webbing outward across the side of Betty’s face until it resembles a broken mirror. 

“What…what can we do?”

“Nothing.” The Lich calls out. “You mortals always lack the resolve for what must come.”

He extends all six of his arms towards Betty. A pale green aura surrounds the human-god hybrid, lifting her into the sky.

“A̸̦̺͝H̶̟͌H̴͍̤̑Ḧ̵̤̗̿Ḧ̴͖H̶̖̅!̸̬͉͊͝”

“Whoa!” Simon nearly teeters off the edge of Betty’s hand, but Marceline, having bounced back from the Lich’s blast, hooks him with another telekinetic hold. She quickly reels him into her arms.

“I got you Simon. Don’t worry, your bloo-I mean **you’re** safe with me.”

“No! Marcy! Don’t worry about me! Help Betty for Glob’s sake!”

Marceline, Flame Princess, and Lady Rainicorn all make toward the Lich to aid the deteriorating god, but they are not fast enough to keep him from speaking his spell into motion. 

“ **SUNDER.** ”

“ **G̶̲̲A̶̠̳̱͟H̴̲̳̲̳͟H̴̲̳̲̳̲̄͞H̴̲̳̠̅̅̿̄͟H̷̱̲̅̿̄̅̄̿͟͞H̷̱̲̠̳̲̳̿̄̄̿͟͟H̸̱̳̠̲̅̅̄̅̄̿̅͟͞H̶̱̳̱̱̲̅̿̿̿͟͟͟͞͞͞!!!** ”

Like a mountainous glacier calving, there’s an explosive *crack* as a massive fissure splits down the center of Bettygolb’s body followed by what sounds like the uninterrupted roar of water. A dark, clay-red seepage beads out across the seam. It draws open wider and wider, swallowing all of Bettygolb’s defining features into the bleed until only the blank red bulk of Golb’s form remains. The amorphous liquid collects and condenses as a small, almost imperceptible ball above the center of Golb’s chest.

Then, suddenly, a hot flash of light and there she is: Betty, magic-woman hat and all.

“BETTY!” Simon shouts, nearly clawing his way out of Marceline’s arms.

The human woman stares down wordlessly as she floats in front of what remains of her previous incarnation.

The Lich’s next command fills the air.

“ **TO ME.** ”

At his call, the sound of crashing water ceases and Golb’s remaining essence melts together, spilling forth as a coursing red river through the sky. The surge of elemental chaos collides into the necromancer’s body. It washes over, melding and seething until something new manifests: an awful crimson fiend with six arms that stands even taller than Bettygolb once did. Its flesh ripples and churns unendingly. A mutated skeletal face with six hate-filled eyes are set inside a horned, pyramidal head. It grins down at them – all of existence – a true synthesis of Golb and Lich.

* * *

Terror-stricken, Princess Bubblegum watches the advent of Bettygolb with both hands locked around the edges of the virtual screen before her. The Lich had done it; there was no time left for any of them now. She whirls back to Finn’s mother. 

“Minerva! Can you hear me?!”

There is a musical tone and the AI’s eyes blink back to life. She smiles. “Yes, I can, Princess Bubblegum. I am now fully reintegrated with both my outpost and island-side servers.”

“Oh thank, Glob! Okay, now I need you to access the Sword of Damocles subroutine. I’ve hooked up an object of power to the central tower’s lab station. If my assessments are correct, you can use it to augment the satellite’s defense beam. Once it hits, it should cause a catabalistic chain reaction throughout the Lich’s body, destroying him and all his trans-dimensional duplicates at the cellular level.”

“Of course. I’ll get a proper lock on this ‘Lich’ brute with my sensors.”

She waves her arms and several more screens appear around them. Some display the Lich, while others zero in on Bettygolb.

“Exactly which one is bad, Princess?”

“The one that’s a big evil skeleton! Please, we have to hurry, Minerva!”

“Yes, I apologize. Scanning target and locking in coordinates now.” 

_‘Oh please, oh please, oh please!’_

There’s a pause. And nothing happens.

“Wh-what are you waiting for?! Shoot him!”

Princess Bubblegum turns to find that Minerva’s face has suddenly darkened.

“Doctor Minerva?”

“You didn’t tell me that Finn is inside that thing, Princess Bubblegum. My scanners know his vital signs anywhere. You’re asking me to kill my own son.”

A cold sweat prickles up across the back of Princess Bubblegum’s neck. “Minerva: listen to me! There is enough power in the Lich’s reach to kill _everyone_ if he gets his hands on it. I know Finn, and he would **want** to give his life for us. You have to take the shot now!”

The virtual realm shudders in response. All around them, mountainous statues of Finn rise out from the ground. Each depicts the young hero in the midst of a particularly graphic death. They begin to crack and erode as soon as they surface.

“I…I know. I know he would, Princess. But I…” The AI’s face contorts in full anguish as tears start to trace down her cheeks. “But I just can’t! I just can’t kill my baby boy. I’m so sorry, but you have to understand!”

“ **SUNDER.** ”

Princess Bubblegum briefly returns her attention to the screens and watches as the Lich’s magic begins to peel open Bettygolb’s crimson flesh. She clasps her hands together.

“Please, I’m begging you, Doctor Minerva. Give me access to the satellite controls. I’ll take the shot if you can’t do it yourself.”

“But there has to be another way. We could wound the Lich instead, just enough to slow him down.”

“The beam doesn’t work like that.” PB growls in mounting frustration. “It’s an all-or-nothing chain reaction and we are out of time for any discussion. Give me control NOW!”

The virtual realm quakes with tremors of rapidly increasing strength. More and more effigies of Finn form and fall with fluid-like abandon, splashing into each other.       

“NNN– **!!** ”

“MINERVA!”

“ **TO ME.** ”

The Lich’s spell filters in over the AI’s heaving mind palace.

“PLEASE!”

“A-” Minerva squeezes her eyes shut and gnashes her teeth. “All user restrictions lifted! Issue firing command!”    

“Fire on target!” Princess Bubblegum bellows. “NOW!”

* * *

The obscene spectacle of the Lich transmuting a chaos god’s corpse into molten flesh completely grips Frieda, Susan, and Peppermint Butler’s attention. So focused, in fact, that the trio collectively jump as a loud mechanical whirr picks up from underneath the lab’s floor. Susan Strong immediately places a protective arm around Frieda and Peppermint Butler and jumps back with them to a more defensible position next to Princess Bubblegum.

“What’s happening?!” Susan shouts.

“Something good would be a nice change of pace!” Frieda calls back.

A thin blue laser bursts out from the lens embedded at the bottom of the docking station that once housed the Lich. It strikes dead center against The Maid’s base and exits out of its tip, taking on a bright, sparking white aura as it shoots off into the night sky.

The three friends stand glitter stunned as it trails away. And, in the next instant, an even larger beam pierces back downward from high overhead.

* * *

Just as the fusion concludes, a giant, crackling energy beam rips down from the heavens. It smashes into the Golblich, swallowing the new god in a burning white light that blinds everyone else in the vicinity.

“What the **flip** is that?!” FP shouts as she covers her eyes. 

“I think it’s PB!” Jake replies, clinging to Lady’s back.

The light dissipates after a few seconds, and the adventures look to find the Golblich still standing without a scratch on him. The dread god tilts his head skyward, seemingly unimpressed.

“T̴h̶a̶t̴ ̸w̵a̵s̶ ̶y̵o̵u̷r̶ ̶ ̷p̵l̵a̴n̷,̷ ̴P̵r̸i̴n̸c̶e̴s̸s̸?̷ ̷A̷l̸a̸s̵,̸ ̴t̶o̷o̴ ̴l̷i̷t̸t̷l̴e̷ ̴t̶o̶o̶ ̶l̶a̵t̵e̶.̸ E̸v̴e̴r̸y̷t̵h̴i̴n̷g̶ ̵e̶n̷d̸s̶”

Flicking one of his gargantuan wrists, the magical sheen around Betty bursts with a small explosion. She shouts as it sends her sailing uncontrollably towards the rest of the gang. Lady quickly snakes into position, and Jake throws out a rope-like arm to snag her mid-fall. 

With Marceline still recovering from the flash, Simon wriggles the rest of the way out of her hold. He drops the short distance down onto Lady’s back, just as Jake plops a frazzled Betty down. Immediately, he moves to embrace her, but Jake stretches out a hand to bar his way.

“Slow down there, Lothario.” He proceeds to stretch his ear into a blanket and wrap it around her comfortingly. “Give the lady some room to breathe before you smother her.”

“Betty! You’re back! Are you okay?”

The longsuffering woman blinks at the question. Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she finally finds her voice again. It’s shaky. “I…I d-don’t think I am, S-Simon. I don’t think anyone is any…anymore.”   

“What do you mean?”

As if in answer, the Golblich stretches out a great red hand towards the main tower.

“S̷i̵n̶c̵e̵ ̷y̵o̶u̶ ̵s̶o̴ ̸g̷e̶n̴e̷r̵o̶u̴s̷l̵y̶ ̸a̶n̶o̸i̵n̶t̴e̴d̴ ̶m̶y̵ ̴n̸e̵w̷ ̴f̵o̶r̴m̴ ̶i̸n̸ ̵l̶i̶g̶h̶t̵,̵ ̶P̷r̵i̵n̴c̴e̴s̵s̵,̵ ̶y̸o̴u̶ ̶s̸h̴a̶l̵l̷ ̸b̶e̷ ̸t̵h̷e̴ ̵f̴i̶r̸s̶t̶ ̵t̷o̵ ̸r̶e̵c̶e̸i̵v̴e̶ ̸i̸t̴s̵ ̶ b̴l̴e̸s̵s̴i̷n̸g̴.̸” 

“HSSSSS!” More smoke vents out from the corners of Marceline’s mouth as she shoots up straight in front of the new god’s open palm. Her eyes spark bright crimson again. “You won’t hurt her! You won’t! HRAHH!”

Throwing her arms up, the vampire girl unleashes a wave of psionic energy that splits the space between her and the Golblich into countless razor-thin ripples. They whip forward in an instant, leaving a crisscross pattern on the necrodeity’s arm and face. There’s a moment’s delay, and then the Golblich’s limbs explode outward into hundreds of finely diced red cubes. A large black mass of limbs bubbles and froths at the center of each stump.

“Holy cow…” FP whispers under her breath.

The rest of the gang look on in similar states of amazement.

There is no ensuing downpour of Golblich chunks, however. Instead, they remain suspended in orbit around the body. There’s a dark, hitching rumble that quickly rises to something akin to a chuckle. The cubes dissolve and bleed their way back into their original places across the Golblich’s eldrich continence in a matter of seconds.

“F̵i̷n̸a̴l̶l̶y̶ ̷d̷e̶c̷i̷d̵i̶n̴g̵ ̸t̸o̵ ̶t̵a̵k̴e̶ ̷t̶h̵i̸n̷g̴s̵ ̵s̵e̷r̴i̷o̷u̴s̵l̵y̶,̷ ̶h̸a̷v̶e̶ ̴y̸o̸u̶,̷ ̸D̵a̶u̵g̶h̵t̴e̷r̷ ̶o̵f̶ ̵A̶b̷a̶d̵e̷e̶r̶?̴ ̶W̵e̸l̸l̷,̵ ̶s̵o̴ ̶h̷a̵v̶e̴ ̶I̴.̶”

The new god extends two titanic red fingers and aims them squarely at Marceline. She gasps.

“ **B̸E̸G̷O̶N̷E̴.̵** ”

_‘MOVE MARCELINE!’_

The vampire girl is no further than a half-turn into her retreat before an intense burst of entropic radiation catches her on the right side. A portion of her shoulder and an entire wing evaporate simultaneously, knocking a shriek of pain from her throat. The shockwave, meanwhile, sends her tumbling back through the air toward her friends. Flame Princess pops up and quickly catches her wounded friend before she sails past them. 

“We need to retreat and regroup _now_!” The young elemental exclaims, already jetting for the tower. In her arms, Marceline’s feathered, lion-like features are already reverting to normal.

Lady follows FP’s fiery tail. From atop her back, Jake, Simon, and Betty huddle together, all casting anxious looks back towards the Golblich as they fall back. Simon takes a moment to slip his hand into Betty’s, giving it a firm squeeze. Betty squeezes back. Whether it’s to lend him reassurance or simply out of fear, he can’t tell.

“A̶h̶,̸ ̷b̸u̷t̵ ̵n̸o̵w̵ ̸w̸h̷e̵r̶e̴ ̸c̴o̷u̵l̶d̸ ̶y̸o̴u̶ ̷b̷e̸ ̵g̴o̴i̴n̸g̵?̷” The Lich calls out at them mockingly. He then slams all six of his arms down upon the ground around his portal. Sinewy red strands begin to slowly creep out from the edges of his hands and thread their way across the crumbled streets of Humantown. Anything caught up in the creeping web’s path is quickly broken down and incorporated into a roiling red bed of chaos.   

 “A̸f̵t̷e̷r̴ ̶a̷l̶l̷,̶ ̷t̵h̴e̶r̵e̸’̷s̵ ̴n̴o̶w̵h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̸l̸e̸f̵t̵ ̶i̸n̸ ̶a̷l̴l̷ ̴t̶h̶e̶ ̷m̷u̴l̷t̴i̷v̶e̴r̵s̷e̶ ̷t̴o̴ ̸r̵u̵n̸.̴”       

* * *

Left eye fluttering open, the young nymph wakes sharply to the motes of light that glance down through the canopy. She sits up with a wince and finds herself in the middle of a thicket – white oak by the gauzy, silver-pink leaves hanging overhead. Their dense trunks are so tightly intertwined that they give the impression of intricately carved walls instead of discrete organisms. Below her is a soft pile of dirt. Flowers, moss, mushrooms, and climbing vines cover practically every other available surface within the little haven, save for a perfectly round pool of crystal-clear water just off to her side.

Staring vacantly ahead for a time, she finally notices that she can only see through one of her eyes. She blinks and blinks again, thinking it simply stuck from sleep. It doesn’t open.

Gingerly, she brings her hand up and runs the tips of her fingers across the ridge of her brow. The papery texture of leaves greets her; not of her own hair, but much broader and interlaced with flower petals. They’re plastered across the upper right portion of her face along with something else. Something sticky. A small dab of it comes away on the curve of her thumb and she brings it under her nose. Bitter scent. A strong medicinal sap, most likely.

“A dark howler’s claws are not only sharp, but they also secrete a powerful venom.”

The little nymph whips her head in the voice’s direction, just inside her blind spot. Standing there is an odd-looking green being. His body is composed of three circular lumps stacked upon one another, with long light-brown hair, gangly arms and legs, and a zigzagging pattern around his lower half. He smiles and holds out a deeply cupped leaf filled with water.

“Thirsty?”

She snatches the cup and drains it eagerly, keeping her good eye on her would-be benefactor all the while. The water is sweet and unnaturally cool against her throat. She finishes and tosses the leaf away.

“You saved me?”

“Yes, I did. I am the Spirit of the Forest. Do you have a name, little one?”     

“I…” She hesitates. “My name is Artra.”     

He gives a slight bow. “Well met, Artra. You were in terrible shape when I got you here. To counteract the venom, I had to supply you with some of my own magical blood. You wouldn’t have survived otherwise.”

Artra stares at the spirit. “Why did you save me?”

“Why not? I was in the area when I heard your cries. I wasn’t about to just leave you.”

She eyes him warily. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Unfortunately, it also means that you’re bound to me and vice versa. You are now ‘part’ of the forest. All forests.”

“What does that mean? I’m your prisoner or something?”

“No. Though you may leave, you are now tethered to the wild. You will ache for it wherever you may go. It will be a harsh and lonely life.”

Artra is silent.

“I cannot relieve you of this burden, Artra; but, if you wish, I can teach you how to survive – to hunt. With enough time, you might even come to thrive here in my domain.”

There is another long pause in their conversation before Artra answers.

“Okay.”

“Good. We’ll start your training once you’ve recovered.” The Spirit of the Forest conjures a wooden bowl into his hand. He then walks over to the round pool of water and dips it in. “Let me get you some food. You’ll need plenty of strength as your wounds heal.”

The young nymph settles back into her bed, eyes passing over her caretaker every so often as he prepares her meal. He begins by conjuring a small blaze of elemental fire and sets the bowl atop it. He then summons a small wooden knife and sets to picking mushrooms, peppers, and wild onions from the carpet of vegetation below, carefully cleaning and chopping each one before adding it to the steaming pot.

It’s from this languid position that Artra catches it clearly for the first time: a faint, airy progression of notes coming from a flute somewhere outside the thicket. As much as she welcomes the prospect of a hot meal, the little nymph can’t resist rising from her spot. She follows the music, as if entranced. It leads her to an archway set in the wall, covered by a dense curtain of vines. The Spirit of the Forest makes no notice of her as she passes him. Rivulets of dark fluid weep down from his eyes and mouth. Without stopping, she steps straight through the barrier. The memory parts around her like a membrane, clutching and sticking at her limbs. She presses on unabated, focusing wholly in on the sound of the flute ahead until, at last, the grip of the past relents and snaps back behind her. 

Suddenly, thrown back to the present, she realizes that she is not now that lost, hurt little girl from years before. She is Artra the Huntress Wizard: Watcher of the Woods. And she has a mission to complete.

Looking around, she finds herself once again caught somewhere in the Lich’s bowels. Instead of a churning sea, though, the light emanating from her runes reveals a massive spherical hollow yawning out ahead of her. She was bound against its wall, her arms and legs encased in dark, gelid mounds of muck. Huntress Wizard gives a testing pull against it, but the ooze holds tight. 

_‘Alright, try this then…’_

The nymph concentrates, letting out a hum as she redirects a portion of magical energy flowing across her runes straight into her wrist. There is a small burst of golden light and the ooze recedes, freeing her arm. She flexes it with a grin.

HW prepares to do the same with her legs when a weak groan echoes out from the shadows surrounding the other half of the chamber. At once, she uses her huntress vision to peer out at the source of the noise.

She gasps.

Directly across from her is Finn, unconscious and trapped against the wall. Several dark, dripping skeletal arms extend from the lining around him, attaching the tips of their fingers to his head and chest. He groans again.

“Finn!”  

HW sends a burst of energy through her legs and arm, freeing them in an instant. Mid-drop, she sends out a vine arrow, pegging it right into one of the arms probing her boyfriend. It melts away. The vine grows taught in her hand as she swings forward. There is a syrupy *glush* as the heels of her boots impact the jelly-like surface. She digs them in and sends out three more arrows to dissolve the remaining arms tormenting Finn.

With the rune spell taking up most of her energy, Huntress Wizard can’t rely on any levitation magic to help her. Nevertheless, hand over hand, she gradually makes her ascent to Finn’s side. She loops a knot in the vine for her to stand on and cups her hands around his face.

“Finn! Wake up!”      

She shakes him, but only receives another pained groan in reply. His head lolls about loosely in her palms.

“Finn!”

No response.

The nymph curses and plants a fist against her forehead. _‘Think. The rune spell lets me break out from my memories. I don’t have the juice to cast another…so, something simple. Just to give him an edge.’_  

With a nod to herself, Huntress fishes her skinning knife out of her boot. She puts the flat of her thumb against the edge and draws it across hard. As blood wells up from the cut, she puts the knife away and dips the tips of her fore and middle fingers into it. She then brings her bloodied fingers up to Finn’s forehead and traces a crescent moon with an arrow running through it – the same as hers.

She leans over, hugs his neck, and softly whistles the tune of the flute spell into his ear.

* * *

The second consciousness finds him again, Finn rocks his head to both sides in search of Jake. He finds his brother asleep in the bed to his left, trimmed in fresh gauze that barely conceals the patchwork of cuts, welts, and bruises covering him. The emotional relief Finn experiences on discovering that his brother is (relatively) unharmed is enough to dull most of the pain he feels cropping up along his own body. Or maybe it was the painkillers. Honestly, he was still a bit too woozy to parse all the different sensations.

“You’re tremendously brave, Finn.”

The sound of Princess Bubblegum’s voice draws his attention over to the infirmary doorway. The candy monarch strides in with one of her servants – a small peppermint man in a suit – carrying a loaded tea tray at her side. Evidently, she’d decided to change outfits after rescuing them. Now, instead of a straight pink gown, she wore a white sundress with gold trimming.  

“I saw how you tried to shield your friend Jake from the undead. You were ready to sacrifice yourself to spare him a few extra moments of suffering.”

 _‘Wow, she looks pretty…’_ He shakes the thought from his head and answers. “Oh, yeah. I mean, he’s my brother; I’d do anything for him.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

The peppermint man sets the tea try onto the small table next to Finn and pours out two steaming teacups.

“Would you like to have some tea with me? I’d like a moment to talk to you before the doctors return.”        

“Um, sure.”

Princess Bubblegum pulls up a chair to his bedside. As she sits, the peppermint man hands her a saucer and cup. “Thank you, Peppermint Butler. You may leave us.”

“My Lady.” Peppermint Butler replies with a bow before retreating from the room.

For a moment, only the regular chirp of Jake’s EKG fills the room. Princess Bubblegum takes her time adding cream and sugar to both their cups, clinking the spoon against their rims as she stirs. She passes Finn his ready-made brew and then blows on her own. She takes a sip.

“So.” She begins. “What’s a young _mensch_ and his _hund_ doing all on their own at the edge of my Kingdom? Are you two traveling somewhere?”

“We, uh…we’re not going to any place in particular. We’re kinda between homes right now, and we’ve been trying to find a new one.” He takes a taste of his tea and finds it pleasantly sweet. “Nothing we’ve found so far has had the right fit, though.”

“Is that so? We have some available homes here in the Candy Kingdom. You could live in one, if you’d like.”

“Well, thanks, Princess, but Jake and I were actually looking for someplace we could be on our own. Like a piece of land or something we could stake our claim on, you know?”     

“Ah, I see. Actu-”

A low groan off to the side cuts the princess off. Jake fidgets underneath his blankets and slowly opens his eyes. “W-whu happuned? Where are we, Finn?”

“Jake!” Finn sits up suddenly and winces at the twinge he feels in his leg. He ignores it. “We’re okay, bro! Princess Bubblegum saved our sausages.”

“She did? How come I can’t move anything below my neck? You guys didn’t stick me with some sort of prosthetic body to ease me into a life as a decapitated head, did you?”

“Nah, man, you’re still just paralyzed from the zombie poison.”

“Oh yeah, that tracks. Thank you, Princess.”

“You’re very much welcome, Jake.” Princess Bubblegum giggles. “Finn was just telling me about your search for a home.”

“Yep, sorry for getting tangled up in your undead biz, Princess. We’ll just heal up and be out of your hair to search again as quick as we can.”

“Actually, I was about to tell Finn that I have a place in mind for the two of you. There’s a treehouse in the Grasslands just outside my kingdom that’s available. It used to belong to my g-.” She pauses and clears her throat. “It used to belong to a friend of mine, but she won’t be using it anymore. I doubt she’d mind if you two settled in. The three of us could go over and take a look at it after you’ve recovered.”

Finn inhales dramatically. “Princess, not only have you saved our lives today, but you’ve also given us a home. I am honor bound as a hero of Ooo to swear my allegiance to the Candy Kingdom and serve it however I may.”

“Whoa, dude, maybe we should look at what we’re buying before we swear fealty to anybody.”

“C’mon, Jake! I’m trying to do the noble knight thing over here!”

“Alright, geez. You saved both our lives, PB, so I guess I pledge, too.”

“You’re both serious?”

“Princess, I have never been more serious about anything. Ever.”

“Well, it’s not necessary of you, but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t welcome your services, Finn and Jake. I’ve been looking for a few reliable champions to round out my kingdom’s defenses. You know, go to the places I can’t go; do the things I can’t do.” She extends her hand. “I, Princess Bubblegum of the Candy Kingdom, hereby accept your vow.” 

Finn reaches out to shake his new Ladyship’s hand, yet he stops just shy of her fingertips. Something on the air grabs him: A fluttering flourish of intonations.

“Wait. Do you guys hear…that?”

The limpid notes sweep over him like a perfume or a caress, and Finn feels as though he should know the tune intimately. Yet, try as he might, he can’t disentangle the forgotten treasure from its hidden resting spot inside his mind. Before he even realizes it, he’s up and out of bed. The young adventurer nearly stumbles forward, expecting pain to race up his freshly sutured leg. Strangely, there’s not even an ounce of discomfort as he finds his footing on the tiled floor of the infirmary. Stranger still, he’s suddenly much taller. And his right arm is now made of metal?

Behind him, Princess Bubblegum and Jake don’t react at all to his sudden transformation; they’re frozen stock still. Black liquid seeps from their eyes and mouths.

Finn takes no notice. The song continues to play, and he is powerless against its pull. It’s melody coaxes him to a blank wall at the far end of the chamber. At its center, a bright red dot appears then spreads out into the shape of a crescent moon. An emblem of an arrow slashes straight through its center and, like a gate thrown open, the music blares. A harsh blast of pressure barrels out of the symbol, hitting against him with such force that he has to fight to stay upright.

With a growl, Finn pushes forward against the headwind and reaches out. Then, just as the tip of his fingers touch the symbol, he remembers: The magic flute song. Huntress Wizard. Arta.

_‘Artra!’_

The gale reverses itself and Finn is suddenly pulled forward, right into the wall. The memory residue tugs and pulls viscously against its prey, as if making one last attempt to hinder his escape. It’s no match against the powerful current Finn is caught upon, though. It propels the young adventurer, ramming him straight back into consciousness.

 

“Atra!” Finn shouts as his eyes leap open. He looks about in a panic, only to find his girlfriend’s arms already slung about his neck.

“Finn! It worked, thank Gob!” She places a hand on his goo-covered arm. “Here, let me get you out.”

There’s a burst of magic and the black gunk recedes. She moves on to his next hand, talking as she works: 

“I have to say, dude, you have a knack for getting devoured by giant monsters; the Lich swallowed you whole. Since I’m magic and also a good girlfriend, I came in after you. Everyone else stayed behind to keep him busy.”

Still hazy from the abrupt departure from his past, Finn listens to the nymph’s explanation dumbly. He watches as the golden glyphs shimmer and flit like will-o'-wisps across her body.

“You…you look pretty.”

Huntress Wizard pauses and blushes before continuing her work on his lower half.

“Aa, Finn, that’s sweet of you to say to a girl covered in necromancer-flavored jelly. Anyway, Bubblegum has some master plan to take him down, but she wants you out before she drops the hammer. If she does, everyone’s safe and the Lich is finally dead. The only minor downside is that we would bite it too.”

She gives one last zap to the muck around Finn’s legs, freeing him.

“So, that’s all to say that we need an exit ASAP, because I have no idea how long we’ve been down here. I also don’t know how much longer my protective runes will hold out.”

With a bit of help, Finn unsticks himself from the wall and climbs onto HW’s back. He loops his arms around her. She’s so warm compared to the icy black pulp that once held him.

“That bring you up to speed, Champ?”   

“Yeah, I think I get it. How are we getting out?”

“I wasn’t sure I’d make it to you, so I’m pretty much improvising at this point. I definitely don’t want to take another dip in all that Lich goop again.” She glances around. “We’ll have to cut a way out. I’m just not sure how.”      

They hang in thoughtful silence for a moment until Finn unsheathes The Night Sword from his pack.

“My bionic wrist can rotate as fast as a drill. If I hold out my sword while its spinning, it could make a hole wide enough for us to crawl through.”   

Huntress Wizard grins wide. “Clever hero boy. Fire that sucker up.”

Finn nods and sets his arm straight, angling the blade parallel to the wall in front of them.

“Arm: drill mode. Keep hand attachment active.”

“Drilling!” Princess Bubblegum’s prerecorded voice responds from the little speaker. Immediately, Finn’s wrist whirls to life and the blade blurs like a propeller in his grasp. He shoves it into the goo and the chaotic magic metal bores right through to make a decent sized hole.

“Heck yeah!”    

“Keep it up!” Huntress Wizard calls over the mechanical whirr.

She clambers up from her vine and onto the small recess. She starts crawling forward with Finn on her back. He clears out the way ahead as she goes along. Luckily, the blade seems to have a cauterizing effect on the Lich’s tar-flesh, preventing them from sinking back into its depths as they progress. Tunneling deeper and deeper with only the steady buzz of his arm between them, Finn decides to speak up.

“Hey, Huntress?”

“Hm?”

“I haven’t told you guys yet, but the Lich told me something while Maloy and his goons had us captured. I’m not sure what to really make of it, but if it’s true, then someone has to be around to tell everyone. If I don’t make it out of here.”

“We _are_ getting out of here, Finn. You have to believe that.”

“I know and I do, but just in case.”  

“Okay. Lay it on me.”

“The Lich said…he said that Golb was dying. Betty can’t handle being merged with a god, so she’s losing control over all the chaos in the multiverse. He said that every reality will collapse once she does. And it’ll be the end of everything. Permanently.”

Huntress Wizard is silent. She continues to crawl.

“What scares me the most, HW, was that he was making sense. The Lich said he was trying to replace Betty as Golb to keep reality from melting down. Yeah, he’ll probably kill everyone who’s alive if he gets that power, but at least we’ll get to come back as something else. If we fight him off and he’s right about this, then we’ll have doomed everything and die anyway. You understand, HW?”

“So, if I’m grockin’ what you’re rockin’, then we might be doomed no matter what we do.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Hm. Did it occur to you that he was just spouting all that to keep you out of his way? To make you docile and indecisive?”

“It did. Do we want to roll those dice, though?” 

“We’re heroes, Finn. We wouldn’t be here in the first place if we didn’t like to take chances.”

“That was my first instinct, too. I want to fight, Huntress; I want to save everyone. But, even if we do, what’s our next step if Golb is dying for real?”

Finn can feel Huntress shrug her shoulders underneath him.

“We figure it out as it comes. If we succeed, good for us. If we don’t…then, I guess we had a good run. Who knows, maybe the multiverse itself goes through a reincarnation cycle. This could just be one of the ways it resets itself. If not, well, then I get to spend the final moments of existence with you, Finn. And that’s something.”

“Huntress, I-”

A loud *clang* cuts Finn off. The Night Sword grinds to a halt in front of them.

“Arm: deactivate drill mode.”

“Drilling complete!” PB’s voice chirps cheerfully in reply. Finn’s wrist powers down and he retracts it from the Lich goo. “What the heck did we hit?”

Huntress Wizard sends out a small burst of magic to clear the remaining layer of tar-flesh ahead of them. As it dissolves, it reveals a dark red wall blocking their way forward. Again, HW tosses a splash of magic at it, but to no apparent effect. Finn raises his sword and takes a testing slash against it. Sparks jump out from the blade’s path yet, still, the wall stands without so much as a scratch.

“So, what now?”

“I’ll be real with you, Finn. I seriously did not count on the Lich growing magic-proof, metal skin all of the sudden.”

“We could try digging around it.”

“No, I heard the vibrations that your sword sent through it. This stuff stretches all the way out. Probably across his whole body.”

Finn scowls and throws a punch against the barrier. “GLOB!”

He’s about to land another, but Huntress Wizard catches him by the wrist.

“That won’t help, dude.”

“But-”

“Shh.” She lowers his fist, then scoots up closer against the barrier and runs a hand over its surface. “There’s something about its composition that I recognize. It’s pure chaos magic; Golb-level purity.”    

“You mean he somehow absorbed Golb, like he did with Stoliad?”

“That, or he somehow managed to copy Golb’s powers exactly.”

“Then how are we still alive? What about Betty and everyone outside?!”

“I don’t know, Finn. What I do know, though, is that there’s only one sure-fire way to pierce a chaos god’s hide.” She makes a few signs with her hands and a small portable portal appears. Huntress Wizard reaches inside it and pulls out a familiar object: a flute made from the tusk of a legendary thunder boar. “You know it, too.”

“Huntress, you kept it?”

“Sure did. You still have yours?”

Finn reaches back into his pack and pulls out his well-worn instrument. “Yeah. I haven’t played in a while, though. A bear used it for a butt scratcher and then got it stuck up its nose. You don’t want to know what I had to go through to get it back out.”

“Ew.” HW grimaces. “You’ve cleaned it since then, right?”

“Of course.”  

“Then let’s make some music together.”

With her fingers lightly curled atop the keys, the forest nymph lifts the tusk to her lips. She takes a deep breath and blows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo man. What a crazy month this has been, right everyone? Again, apologies for the long wait. I was traveling for a while, possibly came down with the flu or corona virus, then recovered. My available writing time was a bit all over the place, but here's the new chapter. We're getting close to the big finish now. As always, thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

“ **HRAAAAH!** ”

Princess Bubblegum sits bolt upright from her position on the floor with a full-throated scream of frustration. She rips the VR helmet off of her head and flings it across the room with an overhead throw. It dashes to pieces as it collides against what little remains of the laboratory’s walls.

“Why can’t ANYONE just DO what I say?! Another SECOND earlier! ONE SECOND! And we would have had him!”

The main Minerva-bot across from her blinks as her core personality reintegrates itself. She disconnects herself from the rest of her duplicates and rises to her feet. Her face is a mask of sorrow. “Princess Bubblegum, I am _so_ sorry…please, I just couldn’t.”  

“Yeah, thanks, Minerva!” PB spits back venomously as she stands up. “Now Finn gets to die along with you, me, his friends, and everyone else in the universe! I guess what matters is that _you_ didn’t do it directly, though, right?”

“Princess! What happened in there?”

“What happened is that I almost put an end to all of this, Peps. But _Minerva_ , here, decided she’d rather air out her misgivings about my plan instead!”

“You wanted me to _kill_ my child like it was nothing!”

“It _should_ have been nothing compared to – oh, I don’t know – saving literally EVERYONE ELSE in existence! Glob!”

Minerva balks and looks away in shame at the gum girl’s accusing gaze. Princess Bubblegum sighs harshly before turning to the rest of her friends. Overhead, Flame Princess swoops in carrying Marceline. She gently deposits the injured vampire girl against one of the room’s ruined supporting columns. Lady, Jake, Simon, and Betty touch down right behind them.

“Marcy!” PB exclaims. Her boiling anger swiftly relinquishes to alarm over her girlfriend’s state. “What happened?”

“She took a direct shot from the God Lich over there.” Flame Princess replies.  

“D-don’t worry about me, Pee-Bo.” Marceline sits up a bit and her face twists in a sharp spasm of pain. Bone, sinew, and nerves are already knitting back together across the cavity in her shoulder. “Soon as my arm regenerates, I’ll be good.”

“I’m sorry Marcy, but none of us will be good. That beam you saw was our last chance at defeating the Lich. Now that he’s fused with Golb, we are, officially, 100% donked.”

“우리는 다시 노래를 부를 수 있습니다. 지난번에 즐거웠습니다.”

“Hey, yeah, why don’t we sing again?” Jake translates for Lady. He turns into a small step ladder to help Simon and Betty dismount from his girl-wife-friend’s back. “That’s how we defeated Golb last time, right?”

“That won’t do it. Singing didn’t defeat Golb; I just happened to have an all-powerful wishing crown while I was inside of him.” 

A look of shock crosses Princess Bubblegum as she takes notice of Betty for the first time. She promptly moves past it, though. While the human woman’s return approached an improbability of astronomical proportions, the situation at hand demands her full attention. Any expressions of disbelief could come later. If, indeed, there was still a “later” yet to come.

“Yes. Unfortunately, Betty’s right; harmony only temporarily dampens Golb’s entropic influence on his surroundings. Without another tool as powerful as the crown at our disposal, we can’t actually stop him.”

“Uh, guys, I hate to interrupt the dialogue we got going,” Frieda says as she peers down over the edge of the room, “but that red gunk the Lich is pumping out is starting to climb the tower.”

The rest of the group move to join her and Susan along the brink of the lab and, sure enough, the tide of red chaos is slowly threading its way up along the metal exterior of the building. Princess Bubblegum turns to Peppermint Butler.

“Peps: put up a barrier. As powerful as you can make one.”

“Right away, Your Majesty.”

Eyes aglow, Peppermint Butler throws up his arms and erects a clear prism of crystalline magic around the perimeter of the laboratory.

“That should buy us a little extra time. And I do mean _little_.”

“So, what was that big laser that you and Minerva just shot at him?” Susan asks. “That wasn’t powerful enough? Could we find a way to juice it up somehow?”

“The beam Minerva and I shot at the Lich employed the energy of that ‘Maid’ relic over there.” She motions towards the conical stone. “If it had hit the Lich in his previous state – you know, all gooey and gross – it would have destroyed him. Now that he’s completely bonded with Golb, it’s useless no matter how much additional energy we pump into it.”

“Even if it could hurt him, it’s not like it matters now.”

“What are you saying, Betty? We _have_ to stop him if we’re going to survive.”

“We won’t survive this, Simon! Nothing will!” Betty snaps at her lover. She winces at the severity of her own voice and adopts a gentler tone as she continues. “Say we find a way to destroy the Lich; there’s still not enough of Golb left for him to function independently. Without another host to bond with, he’ll die, and the multiverse will collapse. Once that happens, everything will cease to exist.”

A cavernous silence reigns throughout the lab.

“We all just lie down and die then?” Flame Princess finally asks.

Betty shrugs and slumps against a support column. She suddenly looks impossibly tired. “I guess so. I don’t…I don’t know. I’m sorry. This is all my fault; I should never have summoned Golb to save Simon.”

Simon moves in close and drapes an arm around her. The human sorceress hesitates at first, but eventually angles her head against his shoulder.

“No, Betty, it’s my fault; I couldn’t let the past go. Instead, I brought it here.”

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not gonna sit around playing the blame game and let some punk Lich extinguish me. If he’s going to kill me, he’ll have to earn it.”

“Seconded.” Marceline grunts.  

“But what can we do?” Susan asks. “We can’t even hurt him at this point.”

“I’m not talking about winning, or even doing damage;” Flame Princess declares. Her eyes blaze brighter as she looks out toward the Lich. “I’m talking about fighting to the bitter end, just for the heck of it.”

A loud rumble sounds in the distance as the Lich begins to move.                                                                            

* * *

It had finally come to fruition.

Countless Millenia of planning, watching, and waiting with only the fathomless depths of hatred for existence to sustain him: all for this – all for the once mighty Lord Golb’s power. Not simply power enough to kill at a sufficient scale, but enough to remold the multiverse itself. He would bend it into the perfect, self-perpetuating engine of slaughter; a banquet of death and suffering that would sustain him for the rest of eternity.       

The Golblich feels the untold sum of universes eddying out against his infinite being. They stream in from the void as small, confluent extensions of himself, like rivers all leading back to sea. Indeed, the sensation of being one with the thermodynamic chill of existence is intoxicating, but he cannot allow it to dissuade him from his goal. Even here, at the height of godhood, the necrodeity knows he must finish what he had begun so achingly long ago…    

He turns his gaze to the tower before him and the crystalline barrier that has appeared at its top.

…Which first meant cutting down all remaining obstacles in his path, no matter how small or insignificant. 

With the bed of chaos now metastasizing on its own, the Golblich lifts his hands from the ground. He then reaches out and, suspended on all six arms, begins to crawl over the ruined streets of Humantown. Bottom half still firmly tethered to the portal’s threshold, his abdomen lengthens in a long, dragging tail behind him. Together, it gives his crimson form the impression of a giant, grotesquely snake-like insect that has dragged itself up from the impenetrable bowels of the earth.

“P̸̼̬̝̗̬͙͓̪͒͑Ŗ̶̟̣̃͛͊͜Į̵̛̯̟͈͖̿̒̐̎̍͘͝N̴̜̱̭̞̫͔͖̍͋̒C̴͈̩̻̀̉͆͘E̸̱͂̆̅̆̃͂̉S̸̭̬͔͛S̴̨̜̼̗̰͓̭͗̆͝!̸̨͎̤͖̠̹̺̟͐͗͌̍̇͘” The Golblich cries out, voice rupturing with discordant frequencies as he approaches the base of the tower. “M̴y̶ ̴d̸e̴a̷r̶ ̵P̵r̷i̷n̷c̴e̷s̶s̸!̶ ̶N̴o̷ ̸m̶o̷r̴e̵ ̶h̸i̶d̸i̷n̷g̶!̶”

He rears up to clasp one hand around the barrier and starts to squeeze. Slowly, cracks begin to spread out across its surface. He can see them all inside: cowering before the void as mortals are wont to do. The peppermint one sinks to his knees, arms quivering, and teeth gritting in agony as he attempts to hold the power of a god at bay. A futile effort: it wouldn’t be but a few more seconds before he…he…

Suddenly, a hot lance of pain pierces the Golblich’s stomach. He releases his hold on the barrier in surprise and looks below. There, he quickly ascertains the source: a small hole is opening up along the distended portion of his body. A sound gradually emerges, muffled at first, but grows steadily louder and clearer as the breach continues to expand. Music – sweet and silvery – wells up from within his crimson flesh. As the melody’s volume peaks, two figures appear at the edge of the hollow. They stand side by side, piping away on their flutes.

“G̴H̷R̶R̵R̵R̶H̶!̶” The Golblich bellows. “F̶̳͚̱͆̄͜Ì̶̞͓̰͋͆Ṋ̵̛̭̈́̒͋N̵͎̈́̀̌̕ ̴̭̬͎̝̖̓̚̚T̴̢̥̻͚̙̒̔͛̋H̷̨̢̯̟͖̀̈͆E̷̡̛̟͍͇͋͌̉ ̷̖͓̂͊̆̈́Ḩ̸̝̄U̷̻̣̾͊͜M̴͔̆̓̒A̸͙̫̲̲N̷̜̬̬͇̜̈́!̸̞͇̙̣̍”

He thrusts a clawed hand down at his stomach, attempting to reach into himself and grab the duo. As the dread titan’s fingers approach, however, each digit immediately shreds itself against the protective wall of sound emanating from their instruments. He flinches back with a shout of pain and rage, but not before summoning a bolt of necrotic energy into one of his other hands.

Finn and Huntress Wizard are already leaping out as the blast hits. Mid-fall, HW grabs hold of her lover’s hand with practiced ease while he takes aim with his bionic arm.

“Arm: Telescopic Mode. Fire!”

A hiss of compressed air and the cybernetic attachment casts outward, its fingers latching firmly onto the tower’s ledge above them. They dive into a sharp, pendulous swing and avoid another eldritch bolt that lights up the air directly behind them. As soon as they clear the downswing, Finn reels his arm in at top speed, yanking them back up to the lip of the laboratory. Together, the pair land atop the narrow ledge just outside the barrier’s face with balletic poise.

Or nearly. A small wobble in Finn’s posture almost causes him to lose his foothold, but Huntress Wizard quickly brings a hand up against the small of his back to steady him. He gives his girlfriend a thankful nod and then raps with polite urgency against the magic field.

* * *

“FINN?! HUNTRESS?!” Princess Bubblegum cries in amazement as the duo make their landing. “Peps: let them in now!”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Peppermint Butler replies through gritted teeth. With no small amount of effort, he shifts his arms outward and a small opening appears along the barrier. Finn and HW quickly slip inside. 

Minerva, beside herself with humiliation over her prior failure, had shunted herself off to the sideline of the group. Seeing her son safe once again, however, brings the AI woman back to the forefront with mechanistic speed. She wraps him tightly in her arms with tears in her eyes.

“FINN! YOU’RE ALIVE! MY BABY’S STILL ALIVE!”

“Y-yeah, Mom! Huntress got me out.”

Without pause, Minerva immediately ropes HW into the hug as well. 

“Thank you so so so much, you beautiful, wonderful children! I thought you were gone!”

“AK! Okay, Mom!” Finn says, trying to pry his way out of his mother’s iron grip. “Good to see you too, but I have to tell everyone something really important. Like right now!”

“Of course, of course. I’m sorry, dear; I’m just so thrilled to have you back.”

She promptly releases HW and Finn, and the two adventurers turn to address everyone else. Finn’s eyes pop as soon as his gaze lands on Betty.

“Betty? You’re not merged with Golb?!”  

“No, not anymore. I guess it’s pretty subjective on whether or not that’s a good thing, now.”

“Is it true, then? If we defeat the Lich…”

She nods gravely. “Yeah, Finn, it is. I just got everyone up to speed, too.”

The young hero feels an emptying lurch deep inside his stomach. He looks anxiously to all of his friends.

“And what do you say, guys?”  

“I don’t know about everyone else,” Flame Princess answers, “but me and Marcy intend to go down fighting.”

“It seems to be our only option now.” Princess Bubblegum concedes glumly.

The monarch’s assessment is punctuated with a sudden loud ‘pop’ as the magical glyphs surrounding Huntress Wizard burst into a cloud of glittering light. As it dissipates, HW’s legs give out from under her and she topples over.

“Huntress!” Finn exclaims. He quickly throws his arms out, catching his girlfriend before she hits the floor. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m okay, Finn. Just drained. I don’t have much magic left in me; probably just enough for a single arrow.” She allows Finn to help her into a sitting position and takes a few seconds to collect herself before continuing. “But never mind me. Since the Lich is still standing, I assume your super weapon didn’t go to plan. Did it, Bubblegum?”

“No, it didn’t. I tried to use Minerva’s satellite to augment The Maid’s power stream and shoot the Lich with it. He bonded with Golb right before I could take the shot, though. It won’t have any effect against a being made of pure entro-”

Princess Bubblegum cuts off, her eyes fixating on Huntress Wizard’s clothes. She bends down and takes the soggy hem of the nymph’s cape into her hand. She sweeps two fingers over the material and examines the thick black sludge that comes off of it.

“This substance…what are you two covered in?”

“A bunch of Lich gunk. We were pretty much swimming in it while we were down inside him.”

Princess Bubblegum goes ridged at the revelation. She clasps Huntress Wizard by the shoulders and looks directly into her eyes. “Tell me:” her voice practically quakes with urgency, “was it still like that when you and Finn made your way out?”

“Yeah, it was – all gooey, except for the skin. We had to use our flutes to get through it.”  

“He was like a giant, evil, jelly-filled donut.” Finn remarks.

“The Lich hasn’t fully bonded with Golb’s body yet.” Betty points out.

“My thoughts exactly. If we can open up the outer shell of Golb flesh, we could attack the Lich’s core directly with The Maid.” With fresh resolve in her eyes, Princess Bubblegum turns back to Finn’s mother. “Doctor Minerva, do you have access to any sort of speaker or sound system within the tower?”

The android looks up, blinking in surprise that Princess Bubblegum still deigned to speak with her. “Why, yes, I do. There’s an emergency PA system. It’s connected to speakers embedded into the tower’s walls and to announcement stations throughout the town.”

“Excellent. Set up the microphone and relink my voice to the satellite’s firing trigger.” She strides with purpose back over to Marceline’s side and offers her a hand. “Marcy, are you up for a last-minute show?”

Marceline grunts and grabs PB’s arm. With her pink lover’s help, she hoists up to her feet and gives a testing roll of her shoulder. The last bit of skin has just finished mending itself. 

“Yeah.” She says. The vampire girl shifts her bass over to her front and fishes a guitar pick out of her pocket. “I think I can manage one last gig.”

“Good. Everyone: take up positions across the lab and follow Marcy’s lead.” Princess Bubblegum commands as she walks over and disconnects BMO and NEPTR from their cables. She then takes a seat with BMO face-up on her lap. “We might not survive taking the Lich out, but the least we can do is keep him from twisting reality into one endless nightmare for everyone.”

There is a resounding ‘bang!’ as the Golblich rams one of his fists into the side of the barrier.

“Please hurry, I’m *uurgh* not sure how much longer I can keep the him out!”

“Here, peppermint man; I still have a trace of Golb’s magic bubbling in my veins.”

Betty raises a hand up and adds a beam of her magic to the surrounding shield. The cracks splintering across its crystalline surface quickly close back up. Peppermint Butler lets out a short sigh of relief as the sorceress shoulders some of his burden. Yet, even with the added help, another hammering blow from the Golblich sends tremors through the two magicians’ limbs. A sheen of sweat breaks across both their brows as they try to maintain concentration.

“Y-yeah, he’s right!” Betty grunts out in effort. “You have to hurry!”

The rest of the gang scrambles into position alongside Marceline.

“Minerva, set up the microphones.”

“Right away.”

There is a musical chime and three floor tiles slide back to reveal a small compartment housed below each. From inside, a trio of silvery broadcast microphones extend outward on telescopic stands. They reach up. A light hum of feedback picks up from the tower’s speaker system directly outside.

“You’re live.” Minerva murmurs.

Taking a deep breath, the vampire queen opens with a strum of her bass and begins to sing. Her voice and instrument start softly first:

_“And…we’re just in time_

_To do it_

_Again”_

 

Then, at once, they burst into a kind of roar:

_“Again, again, again!_

_Oooh, wasn’t that fun?_

_And still there’s nothing new_

_Underneath the sun_

_At the beginning_

_Then at the end_

_Where they come together_

_And start to blend_

_We’ll always be back then_

_Yeah, and after that_

_We’ll come right back ‘round there_

_Once again”_

Across the barrier, the Golblich lets loose a pained howl as the music cuts its way into his stolen skin. He rams another fist against the field, forcing gasps from Betty and Peppermint Butler. Hairline cracks begin to splinter across its surface.

_“Yeah, everything changes_

_But then it stays”_

Jake adds in his own verse:

_“Yeah, it’s always different_

_But still the same”_

Finn leans into a microphone as well:

_“Yeah, you can’t predict it_

_But it remains.”_

Then everyone sings or vocalizes together, echoing Marceline:

_“No path going up_

_Or leading down_

_The only way left forward_

_Is a spiral into sound_

_So, we’ll risk it all_

_And, after, do our best_

_Picking up from the pieces_

_That we still have left_

_Stitch our stories back together_

_From their shredded seams_

_Then it’ll be ours again_

_To decide what it really means”_

 

Princess Bubblegum divides her attention between playing BMO and watching the Golblich’s reaction. The necrodeity’s flesh crawls and churns to compensate against the music, but she can see it receding bit by bit in certain areas.

“It’s working!” Princess Bubblegum calls out. “Keep it going!”

The combined melodies of bass, chiptunes, and flutes all taper off as they transition into Finn and Jake beatboxing. As their beat builds up, Flame Princess takes to a microphone with NEPTR sitting on her shoulder.

_“Yeah, yeah!_

_A white-hot remix_

_Coming at you live_

_Spittin’ that hot fire_

_With a Royal Red Edict_

_You determined?_

_(I am!)_

_You certain?_

_(Yes, ma’am!)_

_Cuz we ‘bout to hit it_

_With a final Fire Sermon_

_Defeated? You need it?_

_Haha!_

_(He needs it!)_

_Then heed and repeat_

_‘Til your brain starts to bleed it:_

_Flames of the past_

_Ain’t beneath us_

_No, they never will_

_Won’t ever up and leave us_

_My thesis?_

_They’re ceaseless_

_Keep burning on up_

_‘Til they refine or release us.”_

 

The gang’s instruments and vocalizations resume as Marceline picks the lead back up:

_“Yeah, everything changes_

_And it stays_

_Yeah, it’s always different_

_And the same_

_Yeah, you can’t predict it_

_And it remains”_

Outside, the Golblich’s flesh continues to gradually slough away from his hands and face as the concert’s music blares out on all sides against him.

“F̶̢̫̖͍̜͚͙͋̂̾͜͠͝I̶̧̢̡̢̦̙̠͖̤̟͈͓͚̎͜Ǹ̸̛̗̩͓̺̳͚͖̻̀̏̓͌̃N̵̢̗̼̫̱͖͛̆̄͌͐͆̾̃̚̕!̸̹͉̱̺̹͑̆̎͋̈́̊͝͝ͅ” He shouts, crashing three of his fists into the barrier at once. “F̶̻̫͕̟͛̾̊͝Ȋ̷̙̳͈̈́͑N̷͙͌͘ͅN̷̟̮͍̣̋̆̕ ̴̠̳͕̼͋̐̏͆T̴̡͇̫͐͌Ḥ̵̛̬͙̎̽̋E̸̗̹͍̿̾͗͝ ̴̛̱͇̑̈́Ḣ̵̨̨̤̃͛ͅŬ̷̞̥̜̼̔̚M̸̲͖̜͎̉A̵̧̮͆N̶̛͈̓͂̐!̸̪̼̝̭͆̃”

 

_Oh, it’s so perilous_

_To try and be nostalgic_

_Yet we can’t just quit that weight_

_And leave this place without it_

_It doesn’t matter_

_The where or when, you know_

_We’ll circle back ‘round to it_

_With all our history in tow_

_And if we don’t take care_

_We’re sure to lose our way_

_Wallowing in those old places_

_Once they’ve invited us to stay_

_Then, it’s left to us_

_To find a way to use it_

_So we’ll deconstruct the past_

_And turn it back into music_

 

Once again, the instruments switch out for Finn and Jake’s beatboxing as Flame Princess and NEPTR take center stage.

_“Aw, gettin’ drastic?_

_(Fantastic!)_

_Just dyin’ to ply_

_Those good ol’_

_Dynastic designs_

_Hey, boy, I asked it:_

_So, where you want us?_

_Up against a wall?_

_Straight in a line?_

_(Ah, classic sign of the times)_

_Then get **blasted!**_

_(Blasted!)_

_Burn you up_

_And melt you down_

_(Down!)_

_Like you was drownin’_

_Deep down in **acid!** _

_(Acid!)_

_We all still out here_

_Hearts ready to die_

_In a full-on shout_

_Of pyroclastic **rhyme!** ”_

 

Now, everyone bursts out in one final push together: 

_We’ll always be back then_

_And come back here once again_

_Yeah, everything changes_

_And, again, it stays_

_Yeah, it’s always different_

_And just the same_

_Yeah, it’s inconsistent_

_And, still, it remains_

_We’ll make a new path_

_Or, at least, give it a try_

_Once we’ve reached the rounded edge_

_That binds both space and time_

The Golblich screams in rage as a portion of his face finally caves in, revealing the seething black sludge hidden inside.

_But, for now, it’s over_

_And finally done_

_So, the only thing left_

_For us to say is:_

_“Wasn’t that fun?”_

_(Again, again, again)_

_“Wasn’t that fun?”_

_(Again, again, again)_

_How about it, then?_

_I think we’re just in time_

_To do it all_

_…Again_

_And again_

_And again_

_(Again, again, again)”_

 

“There!” Princess Bubblegum cries as soon as the music fades. She points at the Golblich. “Fire on target! Now!”

Minerva’s eyes flash at the candy monarch’s command. For a third time that night, a loud mechanical whirr rises up with such strength that it causes the floor to shudder underneath it. A thin blue laser blazes out from the lens at the center of the lab and strikes against The Maid’s base. But before it can exit from the conical artifact’s tip, the Golblich bellows out a distorted cry:

“Ň̴̻̜̝̞̪̺̣͆̃̀͗͊̾͑̾̕͠O̶̢̨͇̮͈̣͚͉͎̭̅̀͐͜!̸̣̆́̄͌͘”

A beam of necrotic energy issues from his throat and follows directly after his shout. It slices straight through the weakened barrier, shattering it completely. In an instant, a pale-green explosion consumes the lab and throws all its occupants against what remains of the tower’s walls. The docking station shreds to pieces against the fell magic and The Maid is sent crashing into the ground. It bounces as it lands, losing a chunk of its side and top before it finally clatters to a stop alongside Finn and HW’s prone forms. Bright clouds of sparking, sapphire smoke billows up from the two fractures.

“Y̵O̷U̶ ̶W̸O̵U̸L̵D̵ ̶D̵A̵R̷E̵?̵!̸” The Golblich roars in wrath as a flood of red tendrils pour in across the lab floor. “Y̴O̴U̶ ̷I̷N̴S̵E̸C̶T̴S̶ ̶W̸O̵U̴L̸D̶ ̵D̸A̸R̶E̵ ̶T̵O̷ ̸D̵E̴N̶Y̵ ̸M̸E̴ ̸M̶Y̶ ̸R̸I̸G̵H̵T̸F̴U̷L̸ ̸P̶L̵A̵C̵E̷?̷!̴”  

Dazed from the blast, the adventures can do little more than struggle to move as the tide of creeping chaos sweeps in to ensnare them.

Even to the last, Finn does his best to help by taking Huntress by the hand and forcing himself into an agonizing crawl. He tries to push her a bit further back, shielding her with his own body. It’s no use. The tendrils wrap tightly across the both of them and the others, pinning them to their positions scattered across the floor. And straight away, Finn feels it: a boiling heat seeping down through his skin, nearly identical to the one inflicted upon him during the Lich’s nightmare curse. The burning spreads out rapidly. He can hear his pained groans and cries mixing with the others as they, too, are slowly warped into something else alongside him.

* * *

The sound.

It tugs against his ears, reaching out and ripping him from the otherwise dreamless slumber of a demon. He remembers a time – a short millennium and change ago – when he’d been woken up from the depths of the Nightosphere in much the same manner. It was her sweet voice, an echo of the one he hears now, that had first brought him roaring into the brief, fullness of life among mortals. It was gone now. Squandered. Hunson Abadeer grimaces internally at the bitter memories leaking up from his black heart and forces his eyes open. He finds himself lying sprawled out on his back with a solemn, star-filled abyss gazing back at him.

There’s also something wriggling around on him.

He makes a blind grab at it and feels his grip tighten onto something ropey and squirming. The demon lord looks down. In his palm is a collection of thin red tendrils all slapping about fiercely against his hold. More of them are spread out across his body. Hunson sits up and is about to rip the rest of them off when he catches their scent. He inhales deeply though his nose and hums approvingly.

_‘Pure, uncut chaos magic. Just what the doctor ordered.’_

He grins and eagerly stuffs the tendrils into his mouth, slurping them up like thick strands of pasta. The remaining wounds across his face close up as he gorges on the rich veins of entropic energy. And even as the first several feet finish slithering down into the pit of his gullet, the Lord of the Nightosphere is hardly satisfied. He rips up fistful after fistful and shovels it all into his open mouth without even pausing to chew. With every swallow, Hunson Abadeer shoots up in height and rapidly ascends to his earlier, massive form in mere moments.

He lets out a loud, satisfying belch.

“Ahh, compliments to the chief.” He smacks his lips and looks about him. “Now, where did Marceline and her little friends get off to?”

Turning toward to the last place he heard the haunting tune of his daughter’s voice, Hunson sets his sight on Humantown and the Golblich, shouting something or other, as he looms over its highest tower. He lets out a low whistle.

_‘Wow, that old bonehead actually went and did it. I guess I have to hand it to him; that’s an impressive bit of evil right there.’_

Hunson Abadeer takes a brief moment to appreciate the Lich’s crowning achievement (arising purely from a sense of professional admiration, of course) and then storms forward. He rips up more of the tendrils, sucking them down and growing bigger as he goes.

* * *

_‘Got to…got to…before he…kills everyone!’_ Finn screams at himself as he strains to pull free.

“F-Finn.”

At the quavering sound of his love’s voice, the young champion forces his eyes open through the blistering pain.

“Artra!”

Heavy plates of bark and fungi are sprouting rapidly across the left half of the wood nymph’s face. Her beautiful, leafy tresses are starting to wither, too, as a jagged crown of branches extends outward from her forehead. Weakly, but with her teeth set in determination, she manages to work one hand up through an almost imperceptible gap in the tendrils and makes a gesture. A faded, yellow glow issues from the center of her palm and a single enchanted arrow materializes above it.

“The Maid…”

As the two words slip past her lips, she gives a flick of her wrist and casts the arrow out. It sails with pinpoint accuracy to slice along the collection of tendrils weighing Finn’s chest and sword arm down. Finn tears the rest of the way out and sits upright. His escape has not gone unnoticed, however.

“A̴t̵t̵e̶m̷p̴t̵i̶n̶g̷ ̴s̴o̶m̸e̸t̷h̴i̸n̴g̸ ̸h̸e̴r̵o̷i̴c̶,̷ ̴F̷i̷n̸n̷ ̸t̸h̴e̴ ̴H̶u̴m̷a̵n̸?̵ ̴A̷h̵,̵ ̷b̴u̷t̷ ̴o̸f̸ ̵c̶o̷u̶r̴s̷e̴ ̴y̸o̶u̶ ̸a̷r̴e̴.̴” The necrodeity calls out, lunging down at him with a massive, outstretched claw. “Y̶o̵u̷r̷ ̶k̷i̸n̸d̴ ̶c̷a̷n̸n̷o̷t̸ ̴h̷e̸l̵p̴ ̴i̸t̷s̷e̷l̴f̵.̶”

Unable to dodge, Finn braces for a final, bone-crushing impact.

None arrives.

Peeking up, he finds the Golblich’s hand stuck mid-swing, less than a foot from him. Great gray fingers are clinched tightly around it. Another equally large gray hand grips against the hole in the Goblich’s head, wrenching it further open.

“I told you before, Lich:” Hunson Abadeer announces smugly as his head folds back to reveal his fully demonic form, “no one offs my daughter. And her friends are part of the package.”

“A̴B̵A̷D̷E̶E̴R̵!̴ ̶Y̸o̵u̴ ̷w̵i̵l̶l̴ ̵N̶O̷T̷ ̶s̷t̶o̵p̸ ̶m̴e̸!̵”

The Golblich charges his remaining fists with a devastating sum of necrotic magic and attempts to lash out at the Demon Lord. He doesn’t get the chance. A strange rippling field overtakes his head and all five of his arms at once. They are frozen in place. 

Finn looks to the other side of the room to see that Marceline has also managed to rip out of her restraints during the commotion. She holds her one free arm out towards the Goblich, encasing him in a field of psionic energy.  

“RRRRHG!” Marceline growls in effort. The lion-like features have resurfaced across her face, more pronounced than ever before.

“Whatever you’re doing, Finn,” Princess Bubblegum shouts from her spot nearer the lab’s edge (a portion of her body has already reduced to its ‘elemental’ form), “you better make it flippin’ count!”

“Be our hero, Finn.” Huntress Wizard murmurs breathlessly below him.

Without any hesitation, Finn takes the Night Sword and plunges it into the smoking crack on the side of The Maid.

Energy.

A bright flare of blue energy surges through the magic blade, up Finn’s robotic arm, and floods into the young adventurer’s body. He can feel it inundating his every nerve; every last cell; with untold sums of raw, purifying power. His mind is awash…no, now he’s drowning in it, there’s so much inside. Everything in him is wobbling and tilting, like a tightrope walker about to lose his balance over an abyss. And he is so, so close to slipping now; so close to sinking beyond the pale.

But he can’t. He can’t! He had yet to fulfill his duty – not just as a champion of Ooo, but as a person – to help anyone in need. And _nothing_ would stop him from doing just that.

Burning a brilliant blue and white, Finn unsheathes his sword from The Maid and slowly rises to his feet.              

“A man…” Finn takes a step forward. The ground crackles underneath him. “A man. N-needs.” Another few steps. “A maid.”

He starts to walk. “A man needs…a MAID!”

The Golblich’s eyes widen. He struggles to move, to shift away, but Hunson and Marceline bind him tightly with their combined strength.  

Finn runs, letting out the final phase of the incantation in a full-throated shout as he jumps out from the edge of the tower. “A MAN NEEDS A **MAID!!!** ”

He lands inside the opening on the new god’s head, face to face with a roiling wall of black goo. Below him, he can hear the Golblich roaring with impotent fury. No words, no uncertainty in his action: Finn lifts the Night Sword high overhead and thrusts the burning blade with all his strength down into its inky depths.

The reaction is instantaneous. A bright blue flame rushes out to consume the dark sludge, burning it away with frightening speed. It quickly spreads throughout the Golblich’s body, trailing all the way back down into his portal to the multiverse. As the flames take hold, Marceline and Hunson release their respective grasps on him. He collapses onto the tower’s ledge, clinging desperately to it with dwindling strength.

“A̶-̵a̴l̷l̸ ̵s̷h̴a̷l̷l̴ ̶p̷e̵r̸i̶s̸h̷.̸” The words rattle up from his throat like a breathless coughing fit. 

Princess Bubblegum’s face twists into a scowl as she lifts herself from the floor. She faces the rapidly disintegrating chaos god and shouts: “ _Du zuerst_!”

The Golblich screeches as the purifying flame sweeps across what little remains of his face and, in mere moments, everything that was once the Lich is gone. The wriggling bed of chaos tendrils wither into nothing, each adventurer reverts back to their normal form, and the portal vanishes completely. Not even ashes remain; all that’s left is the flesh of Golb, draped like a giant crimson cloak across the tower.

The group of friends (and Hunson) all stare at the smoldering remains, unsure whether their ordeal is finally over or not. Then, suddenly, something moves down inside the head of the wrinkled skinsuit. They quickly ready themselves, preparing for the worst but, instead, Finn comes crawling out from underneath. His clothes are burnt and torn while the full length of his golden hair spills out behind him. He flops over onto his back and groans out loud.

“Finn!” They all shout at once as nearly everyone moves to crowd about him. The only exceptions are HW and Hunson: the former being too tired to stand and the latter too large.

Jake is the closest and gets to his brother’s side first.  

“You okay, Bro?”

“Y-yeah, yeah, I’m fine, Jake. Just-” He groans again. “Just really tender. Did I do it?”

“You did great, man. You punched his buns out for good this time.”

“Finally.”

With Jake’s help, the young human rises to his full (though, somewhat unsteady) height again. He looks around at all his friends and family gathered round.

“So that’s it then, huh? Everything’s going to collapse, right?”

Betty nods. “Yeah, any minute now.”    

“20 minutes, give or take a few seconds.” Hunson clarifies, taking out a (relatively) tiny pocket watch and checking it before tucking it back into his breast pocket.

“Everyone…” Finn sighs heavily, “I’m sorry it turned out like this. I tried so hard to keep everyone safe, but it just…it just wasn’t good enough.”

“Honey, no.” Minerva speaks. She comes forward and wraps her son in another reassuring hug. “You went above and beyond for all our sakes, yet you never faltered. Not even for a moment. I know I speak for everyone here when I say I am so proud and grateful for you.”

“We are, Finn.” Princess Bubblegum says. Her eyes tear up as she adds herself to the hug. “For everything you’ve done.”

“We love you, dude.” Jake adds as he wraps himself around everyone and pulls them all together into one big group hug.

“Uh, can I get a little help?” Huntress Wizard asks.

“Totally. Here you go, HW.”

Jake stretches out, picks up the nymph, and inserts her right next to Finn. Smiling despite her fatigue, she latches onto her boyfriend. They stay like this for a good five minutes.

“I don’t want it to end.” Finn says at last.

“It doesn’t necessarily have to…”

Hearing this, the saviors of Ooo break apart and look up at the Demon Lord in disbelief.

“Dad, are you serious?”

“Yes, I am, actually.” Hunson Abadeer reverts back to his smaller, semi-human appearance and then descends to the lab floor.  

“You could’ve said something earlier!” Flame Princess points out sharply.

“And deny you this moment of sappy mortal solidarity?” He winks playfully at the young elemental. “Never.”

FP simply scoffs in reply.

Betty, meanwhile, breaks from the group and plants herself directly in front of Hunson. Her tone is tinged with hope and suspicion in equal measure as she addresses him: “You can stop the collapse? How?”

“Simply put, Miss Grof, I take one for the team and magically bind myself to Golb as you once did. I’m the most powerful chaos demon in the multiverse; so, if anyone can withstand the strain of being a chaos god, it’s me.”

Hearing this, Marceline steps forward. “But Dad, if you do, then that means…”

“Yep, I probably won’t see you again for a long, long time, Baby Girl.”   

“You’re not going to turn everything into some kind of Mega Nightosphere, are you, Hunson?” Peppermint Butler asks point blank.

“Of course not, Peps. That’d ruin everything my little girl has going for her out here.” He shakes his head. “No, I’ll be happy to leave everything exactly as it is. You have my word on that.”

“Then who’ll run the Nightosphere when you’re gone?” Princess Bubblegum asks.

“Well, I’d usually never admit to it, but – full disclosure – I’m a bit of a sham.” Hunson blushes and rubs the back of his head. “Yeah…the Nightosphere always just sort of ran itself. All told, I never really did anything to my subjects that they weren’t already doing to themselves. I only took the credit because I was the strongest out of everyone there.”

The demon raises a finger as something occurs to him.

“Oh, but, Princess, could you do me a favor and try to check in on the place every now and then? Just make sure that they’re still eating each other’s eyeballs and wading through pools of rotten maggot milk; that sort of stuff.”

“Uh, sure. Peppermint Butler could do a monthly inspection if you’d like.”

“That’s perfect.”

Out upon the horizon, a large white crack suddenly appears in the night sky.

“Whoops, that’s my cue.” The demon announces as he hurries over to Golb’s skin. Marceline runs up from behind and catches him by the wrist.

“Dad. You! You…” The vampire girl’s voice strains as she tries to find something to say. Tears well up in the corners of her eyes.

“Hey, no need for that, Marceline.” He embraces his daughter. “I’ve been waiting for this kind of promotion my entire life. Plus, I get to save my daughter’s life and her friends all at the same time. It’s win-win for everyone. You understand, right?”

Marceline presses her face into the crook of his neck and wordlessly nods her agreement.

He smiles and whispers softly into her ear. “You know, you sing just like your mother, Marceline. The two of you were the only things that I ever loved in all the eons I’ve existed. Remember that.”

“I will, Dad. I promise.”

“Good. So long, Marceline. Take care of yourself and keep singing.”

“Goodbye…Dad.”

Letting go of one another, Hunson Abadeer lays one last kiss on his daughter’s cheek before turning back around. He kneels down and carefully places a hand on top of Golb’s remains. The red flesh leaps up, almost eagerly, and coils around his arm. As the rest of it begins to pile rapidly onto his body, Hunson gives Marceline and the rest of their group a fond wave of farewell and then drifts away from the ledge with a smile. Once he clears the edge of Humantown, there is a blinding flash of white light and Golb’s empty shell promptly fills back out to its titanic form. This time, however, the crimson colossus’ face sports most of Hunson’s familiar traits: a pair of fangs, pointy ears, pronounced cheekbones, and four cat-like eyes. He’s even wearing an enormous black suit, complete with tie.

The newly formed Chaos Lord remains motionless, simply staring as he hangs within the star-filled sky. Then, he casts a wide, fang-filled smile down at them just as a portal opens up and sweeps over him. Hunson Abagolb is gone in the next instant, along with the rift in the sky.

“D-Dad.”

Marceline falls to her knees and sobs into her cupped hands. Princess Bubblegum leans down and drapes her arms around her girlfriend, rocking her gently against her chest as the vampire girl lets out several centuries of pent up emotion. She turns to the others.

“Doctor Minerva?”

“Yes, Princess?”

“I assume you’ll be going to give the all clear to the citizens of Humantown soon?”

“Yes, just after I see you all safely to the gates.”

She nods. “Pep-Butt: accompany Minerva. Offer the humans full access to any shelter, food, or medical facilities that they might need from us in the coming days.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Everyone else, let’s get back to the Candy Kingdom. I think we could all use a nice, long rest.”

* * *

As The Morrow, Flame Princess, and Lady Rainicorn finally touch down at the center of the castle’s courtyard, a gathering throng of onlookers – Candy Kingdom denizens alongside visiting defenders and dignitaries – erupt in cheers of celebration around them. All five of the pup siblings, still bandaged up, push their way through and come running out as fast as their wounds allow.

“Dad, Mom!” Viola shouts over the roaring crowd. “What happened out there?”

“We saved the day, Sweetheart!” Jake announces as he, Betty, Simon, Susan, Frieda, BMO, and NEPTR all dismount from Lady’s back. “Which means y’all are getting special pancake surprise breakfast, tomorrow.”

“Oh, Mom, Dad,” Viola snatches them up in a fierce hug, “you’re both incredible!”

The rest of the pups join in too, each offering up their own heart-felt congratulations to their parents.

Meanwhile, Princess Bubblegum wearily dismounts The Morrow while carrying a sleeping Marceline in her arms, bridal style. Finn slips down the great bird’s side soon after with Huntress Wizard on his back.

“Is she gonna be okay?” He asks.

“She’s emotionally and physically exhausted, but I think she should be fine.” She grunts and gently adjusts her girlfriend’s position for a better hold. “I’m taking her to bed. Thank you both for what you did back there. None of this would still be here without you two. We owe you everything.”

Huntress Wizard smiles. “Thanks, Bonnie. We’re happy it all worked out somehow.”

Finn nods in agreement.

“Everyone is free to bunk in the castle tonight. Just choose a bedroom and it’s yours. We can get into everything after a full night’s rest.”

“Sounds good. Goodnight, PB.”

“Goodnight, Finn. Goodnight, Huntress.”

At this, the candy monarch gives a light bow and takes her leave. A retinue of loyal candy servants separate out from the crowd and trail close behind. Finn and Huntress amble over to where the rest of their friends are congregating. Flame Princess is set a little bit apart from the rest, watching as Jake, Lady, and their human friends rejoice together in pairs. She looks up at them as they approach.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Phoebe.”

“You two did good out there. Really…natural together.”   

“You were great, too.” Huntress shoots back. “I couldn’t believe you were able to belt out a rap like that on the spot. Those rhymes absolutely shredded the Lich.”

FP blushes lightly at the compliment. “Thanks. I guess now I get to take you up on that offer.”

“What offer?” Finn asks.

“I asked if she wanted to come hang out with me after we defeated the Lich. I’ll have to think of something fun that we can both do together, though.”     

“Sounds like a math time to me.”

“We’ll talk details later. I’m beat, for now.”

“PB says we can all sleep in the castle tonight. Just pick a room.”

“How generous of her. I hope she has some fireproof bedding.” Flame Princess lets out a yawn and straightens out her back. She then leans in and hugs both Finn and Huntress Wizard. It lasts just long enough to keep from singeing them. “Goodnight, you two.”

With this, she strolls off to the castle door without another word.

“What was that about?” Huntress Wizard asks.

“No idea and I’m way too tired to read into it.” Finn turns his attention to the rest of their friends. “Hey, guys, PB says everyone can sleep here tonight. Just pick a room.”

“Thanks, Finn.” Frieda replies as she climbs up for a lift on Susan’s broad shoulders. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. How about you, Simon? Betty? Can you two manage on your own for tonight?”

“I…I think so.” Betty rubs her arm nervously. “I honestly don’t remember the last time I slept. I might have some trouble.”

Simon takes her hand and gives it another squeeze. “No worries, my princess. We’ve got all the time in the world, now.”

Betty’s posture relaxes markedly at her lover’s touch and she gives him a smile in return. “Alright. You can show me how it’s done, Professor.”

Bidding a final goodnight to everyone, Finn and Huntress Wizard enter the main entrance and gradually drift into the expansive guest wing of the palace. With so many rooms, the couple have no difficulty in finding a secluded corner room despite the large number of guests staying the night.

“So, are you as desperate for a shower as I am right now?” Finn asks as he closes the door behind them. He pulls his tattered hat off his head and ditches it on the floor.

“And get this Lich gunk off once and for all? Yes, please.”

Finn chuckles and carries his girlfriend the rest of the way into the bathroom. He flicks the light on and bends down, allowing the nymph to slide off his back and onto the toilet lid.

“I hate to ask, Finn, but…uh…”

“You’re too drained to scrub yourself off so you need my help. Is that it?” He asks good naturedly.   

She blushes. “Well, yeah, but I also can’t disenchant my clothes. Could you help me take them off?”

“Sure thing.”

Without making a show of it, Finn sets to work carefully unfastening the various buckles and buttons that bind HW’s outfit together, tossing each article aside as it comes undone. It takes a little bit of doing, but he eventually disengages every piece of apparel until she sits fully nude (save for the mask) before him. Despite the blush on her face, she maintains a wry, insolent smirk as he takes her in.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen. Now, go get the shower running, hero.”

“Just a sec. You still got one more piece to go.”

He reaches out and touches the edge of her mask. Huntress Wizard flinches away. Finn pauses and gives her an inquiring look.

“Sorry. Force of habit.”

“You don’t have to take it off.”

“No, go ahead.” She brings her face forward and lifts her chin up. “I want you to see it for real this time.” 

Finn reaches around to the back of her head and unties the knot he finds hidden under her leafy tresses as gently as he can. As soon as it’s loose, Huntress Wizard pulls back, allowing the black cloth to slip away. Just as it appeared in the dreamscape, three long scars run at an angle down her face: from the top left corner of her leaf-hairline, over the bridge of her nose, to just past her eyes.

“Still beautiful.”

“Okay, you got your eyeful; now, I want that shower.”

“Gladly, Hun.”

“Hun?”

“Hun.” He repeats as he sheds his clothes in a few swift motions. “It could be one of my nicknames for you. Do you like it?”

“Eh.” Huntress Wizard shrugs. “Indifferent for now, but I’ll allow a trial run and we’ll see if it sticks.”

“That’s fair.”

Finn hefts his girlfriend up, and deposits her onto the tiled floor of the shower. He twists on the water, shivering at the initial blast of cold water that strikes him across the chest. As it starts to warm up, he picks out a bar of complimentary soap from a nearby rack and takes a seat directly behind his lover. The young adventurer lathers up his hands and sets to work rubbing the suds across the hot rills of water as they trail down her back and shoulders.

Huntress Wizard sighs in deep relief and leans back to luxuriate in his touch. Thick steam rises all around them. “Mm. Grob, there was a minute back there where I thought we’d never get clean again.”

“We’re on the other side of it now, though.”

“Mhm.”

“You think we’ve come out different people, too?”

HW chuckles. “I’ve definitely become a girl who enjoys a long scrub with her boyfriend. That’s for sure.”

Finn grins and continues his ministrations, dutifully washing over every inch of his love. As he circles about to her chest and tummy, Huntress speaks up again:

“Did you…experience anything while you were trapped inside the Lich, Finn?”

“I, uh…yeah, I did. Some old memories about when I was starting out as an adventurer. It felt like I was really there.”

“They weren’t the best, were they?”

“No. No, they weren’t. Most of them were pretty rough.”

She looks him straight in the eye. “Are you okay after all this, Finn? Those memories, the Lich, and Malloy’s betrayal, the near end of existence, all at once – it must’ve put a lot of strain on you. Psychologically speaking, that is.”

“Well, I’m not a psychiatrist, Hun. I don’t really have a clue how this stuff might affect me in the long run. Right now, though, I’m just stoked everyone is safe and I get to hang out with my amazing girlfriend. That’s all I could really ask for.”

Huntress Wizard studies his face and then exhales audibly through her nose. “Alright. I’ll take your word for it, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you.” She then stretches out her long legs towards him. “Thighs first, please.”

Finn kneads into the taught muscle, forcing another hum of approval from the nymph. “What about you, HW?”

“Hm?”

“You’d only know to ask me that if something like it happened to you while you were trying to rescue me. Did you relive any old memories?”

“Ah. Yeah, I did.”

“And are _you_ okay?”

“They…rattled me. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“C’mon, Huntress: talk to me. Please.”

Huntress Wizard’s tough front deflates. “I’m happy now, just the same as you, Finn; but the Lich stirred up some really bad stuff about my formative years. I guess it’s got me a bit emotionally wound up inside, to tell the truth.”

“Care to talk about it?”

“I…” Huntress Wizard hesitates, unsure of herself. She shakes her head. “Not now; I’m way too tired to get into it. But I’ll let you know once I’ve finished processing everything.”

“Okay. I’m always right here for you, Hun. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I know. And I’m here for you.”

Wrapping up all the finishing touches on Huntress Wizard, Finn stands back up and proceeds to briskly wash his own body off. The water is starting to run a touch cold by the time he finishes, so Finn cuts the stream with a twist of the shower handle and picks up his sopping girlfriend. He grabs a pair of towels on his way out the bathroom and gently lays Huntress out upon their bed. He then dries the both of them off (despite her protests that she could do it herself) and tucks her neatly underneath the blankets.

At last, he flicks the bedroom light off and crawls into the sweet-smelling covers alongside her.    

She wraps her arms around him and presses up close against his chest. Her skin is still hot from the shower.

They share a soft kiss.

“Love you, Finn.”

“Love you, too, Artra.”   

The huntress and the hero drift off shortly after, still held in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! And there you have it. After this there will be an epilogue chapter and that'll be it. I'm hoping to jump into a sequel from here, but I might be tempted to do a few one-offs before starting up again. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the ride.


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